Saturday, November 21, 2009

too much "talking"

I sometimes think I have a really overactive mind, like a runaway train ...

case in point:

I was lying in bed, for some reason, drafting an angry statement in my head to the hub (which I assumed did not drink his soup, and left it cold on the table yet again), "Why? Do you want to wait till the lizards crap in your soup?"

Then immediately, my focus shifted, to some memories stored in some lost vault - long, long, long time ago, some 10 to 30 years ago, at my parents' old place, we used to sit at this big round table for meals. This table was, and still is central in our lives, so much so, it is now at the new place. My brother had it restored and now 3 generations of the family is eating at the same table, same as the few decades ago. If I am not wrong, the table is 50 years old? *brain alert - flood. OK I'll talk about this later*

*argh* my brain shifted focus again. My final project for my masters was a proposal for a online shop for this teak furniture shop. My focus shifted because I remember they did furniture restoration/ repair other than building new furniture for sale at their workshop. Ok FOCUS!!!

Incidentally, talking about focus (I might as well get it out here before I lose focus on my original point again), I had attended this course on clarity of decision making (or something) and part of the course, we had this thingy that we slip on to our finger, told to think about something, and then other people got to witness your brain amazing ability to focus on the "something" - by measuring some brainwaves, I supposed.

Back to the table. Each of us had an assigned seat, which was never mentioned, but we just took our usual seats so much, it became "MY SEAT" inscribed in our minds. Anyway, there was these 2 to 3 seats, under the light, was prone to young lizards testing their courage/ pranks. Why I say this? Well, more often than not (by the way, these 2 to 3 seats are also the seats we do our homework on, since they offer the best lighting for our poor myopic eyes), we get baby/ young lizards falling off the lights and landing on our backs/ heads. Someone had lizard crapped into their soup before, etc etc.

And now since we are talking about those lizards, I always think they are a bit suicidal. I had killed lizards unknowingly, more times than I would considered it as coincidental. See, along this path I had to get out of the kitchen to the hall, there was this spot where, here in Singapore roads, considered it as a high accident spot (they used to put some skull signage or something??). This spot, I had stepped on at least 10 lizards, squashing them flat in the middle, leaving them to flounder to death eventually. This is the spot, where lizards dare each other to dash across to the other side when I walk by. Perhaps, we should ask "Why did the lizard cross the road?" The answer would be to me "Because they had a suicidal dare - to see who would become the next roadkill."

And this kitchen, was the "heart" of the house, which was some 4 to 5m by 2m rectangular size space, where it was also a pathway from the bedrooms to the living/ dining/ TV area. Which was strange, considering the size of the house. Now, my kitchen rival that kitchen is terms of size, except my place is much smaller than our old house.

I also remembered some kitchen incidents (trying to cook apples = cooked chopsticks in the end and breaking the first thermos flask, etc) but I shall not dwell on it here. I want to write about something that happens in my old house as sure as the monsoon season in Singapore, the "flooding that happens once every 50 years". Before the widening of the canal along 6th ave, once we have heavy rain, it's likely that 1) our place would be flooded (YES THE HOUSE) and 2) the traffic function outside the old NIE, would also flood for sure (OK, A & W just popped up!). We had flood waters in our place up to knee deep MORE than once, and that poor carpet, was soaked through many times. Things got worse when our neighbour had rebuilt their place (reminds of fireworks!), the drain got blocked and even just normal thunderstorm, our place was likely to get water in too. That big round table, and the few sideboards, are still standing in the new place, in good conditions. Yes, they may have been revanished and repaired, but could you imagine your Ikea table/ sideboards, taking that kind of abuse and still remaining in 1 piece after 50 years?

And about that A & W, we loved that place. It was us kids, our very special place. It's the only A & W over a drain (well canal). It even had an attap hut look, with the dried leaves (I don't know what they are called) over the roof. I remembered we used to go for the waffles, then they had to widen the canal, and it's gone for ever.

With that widening of canal, all the fun we had at the flood waters at the traffic junction was gone too. We used to wade out, waist deep, and trying to control the toy power boat. It was quite useless since the current was too strong for the puny motor. Strange too, how "unscared" we were then, of any insects, worms, and yucky stuff that could be floating in the water. I guess those car motorists would be cursing at this memory, since it means a lot of them would have stalled and needed major repairs (the engines would had been flooded). I don't particularly recall the cleaning up of the roads after that, but like my sister used to say, my brains store practically irrelevant information that pops out once in a while. She was and still is astonished at the "funny" things I remembered, considering her memory is like an elephant.

OK, last thing I will talk about is the fireworks (I am nearing to the end of my pump session). Long time ago, before my neighbours' plot of land was developed (one had a tennis court, one had a big lovely garden, whose slope was just opposite our place), we used to climb up onto the stairs or the slope to watch fireworks on national day. It was before the high rise buildings in the area and then, the fireworks were much higher in the sky. We could lie on the grass slope and watch the fireworks. These days, I just watch them on TV, and it's really not the same anymore. It's kinda sad, but that slope and stairs have since gave way to tall towering concrete walls, which clearly show "get out of my property" stance by the new neighbours.

OOps, if you know who Tracy Huang is, she used to be my neighbour too :P

So what is the original point of my post? Given the liberty to run its thoughts wild, my brain is a train wreck, all over the place. You just can't keep your eye on any focal point since it's just as "bad" as over the entire train wreck.

Still, I smile at the little joys I had when I had a kid, even not knowing how dangerous it was then (flood waters) or how lucky we were (lying on a grass slope to watch fireworks).

making full use of the bread machine

i have this bread machine, which i got from carrefour about 1 year back, but i finally took it out to use it.

and i have been having fun churning out breads - simple ones, just dump in ingredients and then look at it in the morning.

I've tried Hokkaido milk bread, simple white bread, banana & raisin & cinnamon bread, cinnamon and raisin sweet bread and some bread which I just "guessed" the weight of the ingredients. needless to say, some of the products are disastrous. but i at least have 3 working recipes now, and they turn out great, as long as I resist the temptation to keep using the french bread settings. I know the rapid rise setting is a gone case for me - i can't get any decent bread out of that setting even if i heat up all my ingredients before hand.

well, why make bread when i can buy it off the shelf? It's home made, no preservatives, and I get to see V enjoying it.


Friday, November 20, 2009

Happy Monthday #2

Allo my baby boy *kisses kisses* You are 5 month old today! How time flies ... mummy is missing out on so many of your milestones, but thank you for letting me witness for your few flips and enjoying your first solids with me.

I love you *hugs hugs*

Cuddles and Snuggles

It has been a terrible week - kids are sick, hub's sick and I'm sick and we are busy at work too. So it is mentally, emotionally and physically draining. The most telling sign that I have a serious lack of sleep other than my eye bags, is that my eyes are suffering from dryness, so much so I have difficulty in focusing when I read or look at things. Other than that, my milk ss is starting to dip so I am really looking forward to stoning out and sleeping in for the weekend.

On Tuesday, V for some strange reasons, complained about her mouth pain which eventually became teeth pain. She cried almost non stop since she reached home and that almost drove me up the wall. She refused dinner, water and milk, since her mouth "pain" and went to bed on a empty stomach. She woke up at 3am and happily announced "no more teeth pain already!" and wanted her 'nuk nuk'. So had to warm up her milk, feed her and entertain her a bit before I conk out. Her coughing almost meant a near sleepless night for me. Needless to say, I didn't have a chance to spend with #2 at all.

Wednesday, it was a total blur. I think I spent less than 5 mins with #2 but mostly with V since she was crying. She went to bed sulking and angry with me because I took away my HP from her. I woke up in the middle of the night to realise her diaper leaked so woke up the hub, changed her and put some towels to soak up and to cover the damp parts. Yes, we went back to sleep, on top of the towels.

Thursday, V decidedly was in a much better mood. I managed to spend about 10 to 15 mins with both kids together, and #2 was so happy that he was giggling away. Initially, he looked at me me forlornly, nary a smile. He watched me have my dinner and was in a slightly better mood after that. He loved to be bounced (but not too much for him since it's bedtime!) and he seemed to be having fun just having his sister and mummy around him. I felt so guilty when I was cuddling him, what kind of parent am I - he's sick yet I don't have time to spend with him. I'm thankful he enjoyed the attention from me, even if it is limited and has to be shared with his sister. I'm thankful also he's such a smiley baby, and it gives another meaning to "you light up my life". V was a cheerful baby too, but she was a REAL petty/ fierce one - I remember how angry she was with me with I first went back to work, but #2 was good - he didn't throw a tantrum at me! Come to think about it, the common temperaments that they do share as babies - smiley, fierce and relatively impatient.

Friday - well, one hour into Friday now, I'm just thinking that I have done something really good/ right to have these 2 wonderful kids. I'm also learning to count my blessings again, and not to dwell too much on negative stuff.

Oh, and V did a "dance" for me to Wonder Girls' "Nobody". Nope, no video, since my hp was used to play the song. That kinda made up for the crying bit for the past 2 days ...

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Drawing blood ...

for the first time in my bf-ing/ bm expressing, i bled.

i had this plugged duct for weeks and i was trying to suction out the blockage with a syringe (no needles) and then suddenly, i am looking at a red-fluid filled syringe.

needless to say, i freaked out. i do have a slight phobia of blood. thankfully as i cleaned up, no more bleeding and i continued pumping - no pink milk for my kiddos ;P

Monday, November 16, 2009

10 little kisses ...

V was in a generous mood today ...

First she woke up this morning in a very good mood, allowing the hubby to cuddle her (most of the times she would push him away). Then she wanted him for company, following him around and wanting him to carry (stark contrast to weekdays).

Then this evening, she had a super long nap, and translated to a near midnight ruckus before she finally fell asleep. In fact, I fell asleep even before she did.

Before she slept tonight, she was in a mood to play. The hubby wasn't really in the mood, so the usual "cow, horse, bunny and puppy" became 1) a cow too sick to moo and to be milked 2) a sick horse that cannot be rode 3) a poor bunny that could lie on the side only and 4) a puppy that wasn't willing to be tickled. Needless to say, it wasn't fun for V at all, and she immediately complained. The hubby hit on the idea of entertaining her with something they both like - sudoku on his HP and she gets to press on his touch screen. She only enjoyed it for a little while :P

Then ... the hubby accidentally scratched my finger, so V stroked my finger and kissed it. Then it became "poor mummy's/ daddy's face hurts, can sayang?" She gently stroked the face and the planted 10 kisses on our faces each! wow!!!! It's been a long time since she was so generous with kisses!

She knows it's Sunday so it's work day tomorrow. She didn't want to sleep and keep wanting to go out of the bedroom ... in fact, she even teared ... in the end, I had to hug her and cuddle her, telling her that her daddy will bring her out tomorrow (the hubby went out of the bedroom to do his stuff) and after much rolling, whining and hugging, she finally fell asleep. *phew* I guess because the hubby didn't really enact his usual animals, the routine that I had painstakingly built over for the past few days have been broken.

Don't complain to me again if she doesn't want to play with you next time, OK? Remember, you reap what you sow.

Friday, November 13, 2009

"tio, bor?"

Direct translation = "correct, no?"

At least, that's what my limited grasp of Hokkien understands it to be.

I've been trying to teach V some Mandarin and Cantonese and she understands some of it, since the oldies in my family side will talk to her with that. The hubby is from the Khek dialect group, but he cannot speak the dialect at all, so there isn't anything he could teach her that I couldn't, or so I thought.

Then this morning, he was getting her to sit in her car seat and they had some exchange of conversation, and then suddenly I heard "tio, bor?" I looked up and asked, "did you just say '"tio, bor?"' to her???" The hubby looked surprised and then he processed the fact that he just spoke Hokkien to her. I can't speak Hokkien at all, so we never converse in Hokkien at all. I guess the brotherhood at the recent IPT sessions have awoken the sleeping "Hokkien peng" in the hubby ;P

The helpers also recently told me V seems to understand some Tagalog too, without them teaching her.

Hmm, maybe if only I could get her to learn some French and Japanese too ...


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A happy wheezer and some ...

#2 is sick again ... he started coughing on Friday and by Saturday, he was wheezing slightly, so I started him on the nebulizer. Then, on the way to work yesterday, he was wheezing quite badly and he seems to be panting. I had originally planned to bring him to the PD in the afternoon but I got alarmed and immediately decided to bring him to see the PD right then.

Wanted to save some time and see another PD within the same clinic, but my lucky stars were shining on me. The regular PD came in early so I switched Q and got to see him fairly quickly (within 45 mins). #2 was so cute ... he was lying on the examination table, wheezing away but smiling away happily at the PD. The PD said "You have a happy wheezer!" I was baffled but he proceeded to explain that it's a term used for people who seem healthy and strong (big sized was mentioned I think) with sensitive airways. I didn't check which growth percentile my boy is in, but I'm very sure it's at 75th or so. Ah well, just as well I have my nebulizer machine :P We will have to go back for a review tomorrow (or rather today) and we will see how it goes. He seems to be wheezing just as badly, but my helper tells me otherwise. He's spitting out a lot of phelgm but I can hear him wheezing away *sigh* He hasn't given me a happy smile today yet =(

And some ... the darnest things kids can do :P

I was asking my helper for my christmas wrappers (yes I start very early :P) when #1 gestured for us to stop and said "wait!". She ran into our bedroom and came out with something. She thrust her hands outwards and said "your wrappers!" We looked at her hands and burst out laughing - she was holding on to my disposable breast pads!!!!! well, technically she isn't wrong, is she? :P

Some things to make me worry about V turning into a teen ... the principal of the CC that V goes to told me that one of her classmates woke up from his nap and started looking for V. He cried "where is my V!" The principal couldn't believe her ears and asked him to repeat. He said "where is my V?" "Your V?" "Yes, my V!" Well, in anycase, this was the boy whose name my girl was repeating to herself sometime ago. Since her CC is church based, I had assumed that she was repeating some of the words she learnt in school. Now I know better, it's her classmate's name!!! And her favourite partner in crime saved one of his bread for her the other morning (she was late) ... *hmmm* Did I mention how the older boys like to play with her too?

and homefront, helper is sick, hubby is coughing, V is starting to cough and I can feel like phelgm built-up in my throat *sigh*

Sunday, November 08, 2009

yet another weekend fly by ...

Time really flies, especially if it's the weekend.


And my 90 min massage and 2 hour nap on Saturday made it fly especially faster ... to feel guilty when I am catching up on much needed rest is not a good thing ;P


I try to make additional effort to play with Ian during the weekends and leave V to the hubby. I think V has enough attention from me during the weekdays since she sleeps with us, but apparently not. I figured this out when she was insistent on having me to drive. I think she's jealous that I sit with Ian during the car trips. Still, she is doing well with Ian around, and I'm proud how the 2 kids take to each other (for now at least!).


Did I mention my new PC runs on Vista and how much I hate it? Makes it even harder to blog.


Anyway, I'll leave you an old picture of Ian .. one that is a good representation of his smile!


Monday, November 02, 2009

4 months and more ...

In case you are wondering about Ian, he's doing fine.

He's very, very cute now and he can laugh out loud! He loves to stick out his tongue too, and it makes him doubly cute. He may be starting to teeth soon too. When I stroke his face, his mouth will follow my fingers and try to chomp on it. He still doesn't have much hair, but it's OK. It will probably be like V's, slow to grow but when it gets down to it, he will have lots of hair!

He's already 4 months plus and I've started him on solids. He has tried rice cereal and sweet potatoes. He will be starting on banana soon. How do I know he is ready for solids? You should see the way his eyes follow the spoon when we eat ... he gives that "I am hungry, feed me!" look when he watches us having our meals. The other day, I brought out his bowl of cereal to him. His face immediately lighted up, gave me a BIG smile and stuck out his tongue happily. When I was feeding him, he fought with me for the spoon! He grabbed it so tightly that I couldn't pull it away, and eventually I had to peel his fingers off it! I'll post the pictures when I get down to downloading it from my handphone and camera.

Today he took a really lovely picture with his sister, just too bad my handphone camera suck big time, and the picture quality is soso. I'll try to fix it up before posting here.

Yes, it is possible to love kids equally, but differently =)


There is not better time than now ...

What prompted this thought?

2 remarks that my mummy friend's hubby and another mummy friend made ...

this hubby of my mummy friend - it's the first time we actually had a chat ... I was having a late breakfast with another daddy friend, when I spotted him and invited him to join us. Our girls were in the same dancing class, so the respective spouses were accompanying them for the class, while the other halves were somewhere having a break and time to themselves.

Anyway, this hubby of my mummy friend, let's call him A. We were talking about our kids, about the physical traits that they inherited from us, when he mentioned about kids who were bad and then turned good and vice versa. I thought about how I felt about teenagers before, and I still shudder at the thought of my kids turning into pre-teens. But maybe he is right, kids who are bad, can still turn out alright later.

Another mummy friend shared that she overheard this conversation - one girl asked her friends to keep quiet because she was talking to her f*bleep*ing mother. Will my girl think of me in the same way 10 years down the road?

Tonight, I snuggled up to my girl and told her I love her. I also asked if I could hug her to sleep. She as usual, shook her head. I kinda whined to her, "but you hadn't let me hug you to sleep for a long time." She thought about it for a little while then nodded her head, and opened her arms to hug me. I got to cuddle her a little then she turned away to sleep. She did snuggled to me a few times later, it seems like she was making an effort.

No matter what my girl may think of me, no matter how she may turn out, she is still my girl. I love her, and there is no better time than now to tell her that and to hold her in my arms.