False Alarm

Yesterday morning my cutiepie started having a mild temperature of low 37... so we decided as a precaution, to give her a dose of the fever medication. I was worried ever since I knew about VUR and another case of UTI so fast = bad news.

I called home in the late morning to check on her fever and it seems to be going up. I then called and bugged the clinic since her fever was on the rise and if the last lab test showed her in the clear. Only upon my third call and my girl fever in the low 38 did they say to bring her down. *sigh* I was in the midst of pumping milk and well, that didn't do much good to my supply so I stopped trying to stress myself and then tried to rush home. In the car, to my horror, the empty fuel tank warning light was on and it means I have to make a stop to the petrol station! *argh*

I called back to my mum's house and luckily my mum was in. So She helped me to send my girl and helper to the clinic while I rushed to get the tank filled and then to the clinic. I grabbed the first parking lot I came across and then ran up the slope (can hear my pump gear in my bag making a lot of noise!). My mum arrived just before me so thankfully I wasn't too late.

I checked my girl's temperature and it's now 38.4 so we slap on the fever pack on her forehead. The clinic also give her a dose of the fever medication upon our request and the PD's OK so that helped a bit. As we had to get her urine tested, we have to tape this bag to her and while we were preparing for it, she peed! so our chance missed and she was refusing to drink water or milk, we were wondering how long we had to wait ...

Anyway, my girl was very good and within 45 minutes we had a bag nicely filled and then it was sent to the lab for testing. In the meantime, while waiting for the test results, we saw the PD and he confirm again - not teething and generally she seems ok. He said could be a few things such as fake measles or dengue - so to watch out for the various symptoms.

Later the hubby came to join us, and finally the results came back - not UTI *phew* but the PD did urge us to consider the MCUG test again just to elminate the possibility. So we dutifully booked a date for her MCUG test as well as a date for her to be back to do another round of urine test.

Thankfully her fever came down this late morning so we are still observing ... not sure what's wrong with her, but hopefully nothing is wrong ...

Being a mother ... is ... not easy ...

Not a wee problem

As some of you know by now, my girl came down with UTI.

What I had expected to be a routine followup turned into one of mother's nightmare.

Why? When the first PD called and explain that it could be due to reflux and a MCUG test will probably be ordered, I got super confused - I had assume reflux = reflux after feeding, and I couldn't see the connection.

Then during the followup appointment, my PD (who was on leave last week) explained that some 30% of babies who have UTI before their first birthday are likely to be having vesicoureteric reflux.

What is vesicoureteric reflux?

Vesicoureteral reflux (VUR) is the condition in which urine travels backward from the bladder toward the kidney and may affect one or both ureters.

In most children, reflux is a birth defect and is caused by an abnormal attachment between the ureter and bladder with a short, ineffective flap valve. In some children, an infrequent urination pattern may cause reflux to occur.

When the "flap valve" malfunctions and allows urine to flow backward, bacteria from the bladder easily enters the kidney. A child with reflux is more likely to develop a kidney infection (pyelonephritis) that can cause kidney damage. More severe reflux is associated with greater kidney damage. When urine backflow is more severe, the ureters and kidneys become large and distorted. Although reflux can have these serious medical consequences, it is a "silent" abnormality, that is, reflux does not cause pain, discomfort or problems with urination.

Please refer to here for more information.

There are 5 grades to this - Grade 1 to 3 are usually not so serious, and can be treated with a long term daily dosage of anit-biotics for a few years, before the valves mature on their own. For Grade 4 & 5, it usually means a surgery to repair the valves are required.

The horror story was related by my PD, who told us why he would recommend us to do the MCUG test to rule out the above, or if present, to "fix" it.

He had to attend to an emergency case in which this boy almost drowned and they managed to save him. However, they noted his recovery was somewhat slow and he wasn't responding as well as they had expected. His blood pressure was a shocking 180+ over 100+ and they concluded he had a stroke. A brain scan revealed that it was so and they had to check for the cause of the high blood pressure. They subsequently found that the boy had 1 damage kidney and the other kidney was beyond repair.

He had grade 5 vesicoureteric reflux and it wasn't detected - he had frequent UTIs and the parents just bought anti-biotics off the black market and self-medicate. As a result, their boy almost died and today half of his body is still paralysed.

Scary? You betcha.

So what's this MCUG test? (Source is here)

Micturating Cystourethrogram (MCUG)
or 'Wee Wee Test'

This test is done to give us information about your bladder. This is the bag inside the body where urine from the kidneys is stored until it is emptied out when you go to the toilet.

The test involves passing a small tube into the bladder. The x-ray contrast, which is used to take pictures of the bladder, is run in through this tube.

After the x-ray nurse/doctor has washed between your legs/ s/he will insert a small tube, called a catheter, into the bladder. A local anaesthetic jelly is used to lubricate the catheter, which is held in place with a piece of sticky tape.

The doctor or radiographer will run warm x-ray contrast through the tube and into the bladder. After a short while when the bladder is full your child will pass urine around the tube and the tube will slide out. X-ray pictures are taken while the bladder fills up and during emptying.


Parent Points
The test takes about 30 minutes. Your child will be given a warm liquid, (X-ray contrast) via a tube into the bladder. This is done to show the bladder and urethra (its outlet tube), and to see if urine goes backwards from the bladder (reflux), or if there is a blockage.

I just feel so uncomfortable about the test - I probably need more time to recover from the "trauma" than my girl. Anyway we need to let the PD know if we want the test in 5 weeks time. I'll prob take a few days off just to make sure she is OK. *sigh*

And now it's my turn ...

to fall sick. I am now nursing a sore throat and a slight fever - so basically am stuffing myself with water and herbal drinks. It's not that bad except I feel a bit off balance (head feels heavy on the left side only). It's as if my body is telling me - ok you don't want blocked ducts? then fine, in exchange i give you this fever and sore throat... in exchange for pumping for 2 hours and still end up in agony, well, it seems like a fair exchange!

She slept very well on Friday night, either that or I was too conked out to hear her little whines on and off. I only woke up once or twice to switch her to another pillow (presumeably it was getting too warm for her) and pat her to sleep. We both enjoy 5 1/2 hours of very minimally interrupted sleep, so needless so say, she woke up beaming.

Last night with my fever and increasingly painful throat, I gave up the idea and so I had uninterrupted sleep for 7 hours in a stretch. Woke up with a tight throat (not to mention very sore) but the pump session must still go on. Surprisingly I finished in 30 minutes time (total 240ml - been a long while since I hit this volume) and I could enjoy my girl a little then I headed back to bed. Next thing I know, it's almost noon time already!

Hopefully tomorrow we won't have to wait too long to see the PD. If I feel better, I will head back to work since I can vividly imagine the pile of emails waiting to be answered. Hopefully after next week, I could take a day off to rest a little and spend some time with my cutiepie.

The Cheeky Girl

My girl is getting ever so cheeky.

To all IT professionals, my girl is just the one for you. Today we were having a little conversation (she's in a super good mood this morning after zzZzz-ing away for 5.5 hours with me) when she suddenly uttered this phrase "HELLO WORLD". I was bowled over ... of course it wasn't the exact words, but her sounds were so close to it (more like "ah-wo-were")! I guessed she is her daddy's daughter after all - like father like daughter!

She's also very smart - she keeps tracks who's been spending time with her and who has to do payback. She picked on her daddy today ... she gave him her sweetest smiles and gurgle at him for a little while then she started it .... "AIRRRRRRRRRR" she started complaining (basically ordering him to stand up and walk around) so I caught her cue and told the hubby she wanted to be on the shoulder ... well she wasn't quite satisfied with that position and continued her "AIRRRRRRRR" on and off to get him moving around! Then I walked past them and asked "You bullying papa is it?" She poke her second finger upwards and gave me a cheeky grin. Then, she promptly went "AIRRRRRRRR' again *rofl*

She has also mastered the basic techniques of grasping items - last night she was dozing off and sucking on her pacifier. Her hand slowly crept up to her face and then started fiddling with her pacifier. Suddenly she just drew out the pacifier with a flourish *TADAH* (with her arm flinging to the side) Now she is practising to putting in and out out her mouth her pacifier.

She also enjoys doing sit-ups now (not interested in flipping anymore!) so I will hold her hands and she pulls herself up a little then I'll further pull her into a sitting position ... she seems to enjoy this new "play time" haha ... she seems very pleased with herself for a moment and then proceed to lick my hands!

Hmmmm ... well worth the lack of sleep and the frustration of dealing with block ducts (yup they are still plaguing me) ... especially when I get to take a deep whiff of her head when I reach home ....

A teething problem ... resolved for now ...

Sometimes, a mother really has to trust her gut instincts ...

My girl temperature went over 38 degrees and I decided to bring her in to the PD - just to rule out viral infection, flu or even UTI.

Went in at 9:15am and I was no. 23 on the list ;P anyway my PD was on leave and so we saw his colleague instead. We were quite lucky - we saw her at about 10:30am or so ... and after I explained my concerns, she did a check on my girl - her gums, etc etc etc and she agreed with me there doesn't seem to be any obvious cause (no she's not teething!) so to do a urine test, and if it's negative for UTI, we will do a blood test to rule out dengue fever.

So we had a bag taped to her groin, and then the nurse said to hold her upright or sitting down. *grr* it should be try to hold her facing downwards! She did pee quite fast but most of it leaked to the diapers and we had this teeny weeny bit of urine just enough to do the strip test and the lab test. Otherwise we would have to hang around for another hour or so!

Anyway the strip test confirmed it's UTI - so she's given antibotics to take in addition to the panadol syrup which we are giving already ...

by the time we reach home it was almost 2pm, and I had to rush to pump while the maid took care of Vanessa ... then it was to the computer to clear some work... by the time I finished, it was time to go out to do a bit of grocery shopping for dinner.

Exhausted? You bet - after finish cooking dinner, I pumped again and just as I was about to shower, the hubby called. No cab, no bus, no nothing. To complicate things, my handphones didn't ring or recieve any SMS. Lucky we had a house phone! So I drove to his office and pick him up - came back had dinner and my long deserved shower. I conked out promptly by 10pm.

This morning I woke up at 4am to pump. By the time I ended, it was 6am and I was in the shower, trying my darnest to clear this extremely stubborn plugged duct. Eventually I surrendered and cleared up the stuff. Then I went to check on my girl, she just fell asleep after her feed, so I took over from my maid and my sweetie pie slept nicely in my arms, then on my chest ... we both had a nice nap together ... when she woke up, she was in a super good mood! Best of all, her fever was gone. What a relief ...

Work was busy - we had a meeting in the morning but I left early so I could pump. Nope, the duct is EXTREMELY stubborn. I rushed home after work, gobbled down my dinner while my girl was entertaining my family (extremely friendly today) and then rushed home. Eventually I did managed to clear the duct, but only while in the shower (the hot towel method never really work for me, the next best thing was just to stand in the hot shower and trying to clear with the syringe at the same time).

Now it's 10pm, and yes it's bed time for me soon. Will need to get up at 3am to pump again ... my timing is so super messed up =(

Oh, my poor little baby ...

A teething problem ...

My sweetie pie is running a low temperature since Thursday ... I thought so, but no one seem to believe me until I waved to them the thermometer with the temp reading. It's not very high ... 37.9 degree was the highest but it was enough to make her a bit cranky ... So we've been observing and giving her a dose of panadol now and then when it goes up ...

We called the PD's office this morning and asked if we should bring her down or just to a GP. They said she's most likely teething!

I peered at her gums, but I don't seem to detect any swollen gums ... her appetite is definitely off, so we have reduced her feed to 125ml and she's still not finishing it.

Last night she was sleeping with me, and she got up at 11pm for her feed - I got the maid to send her back to my room when she's done and although she "whined" a little in her sleep (a little patting and cooing and carrying didn't hurt) and we had a good night sleep till 6am! I got quite a shock too ... because my last pump was at 8pm. I had to carry her over to the maid, and it hurt so badly. I had to do a dual pump too, I couldn't take the "want to burst anytime" feeling. I'm not going to risk that tonight, so I'll have a quick pump again at 12 midnight (last pump was at 9pm) then I'll cuddle her over to my bed ...

It's not easy, since I'm already lacking sleep during the workdays ... but I wouldn't want to miss kissing my girl's hands and hugging her to sleep ... especially when she's growing so fast ... teething already!

Flipping Good Times!

Yay! She can do it as she has demonstrated to her proud parents!!!

Vanessa's First Foods - Purple Goo!

Vanessa's taking to solids very well =) Her first food - purple sweet potatoes! Yummy!

*grrrr*

1) My crazy neighbour is singing in his "operatic" voice again - it irritates the hell out of me cuz he thinks he's so damn good when he is not! Can you imagine, he singing in full blast, when he walks around the area at 9 plus PM - this is noise pollution!

2) Been trying to upload my girl's videos to YouTube but no go ... it just won't work! Just connecting, connecting, connecting .... *ARGHHHHH*

3) I'm sleepy, cranky, and I am waiting for 11 pm so I can have my last pump, scoop up my gal and zoom to dreamland!

Anyway just a pic of her to satisfy your cravings ...

Spending $$ again ...

Let me see ...

I just bought off the web (Bulk Purchases from a Forum)
1. 4 slings (for me, my sil and my sis) (Average $30 per sling)
2. Baby cubes - to store the minute quantities of the home prepared food (see here) ($8 per tray)
3. 2 Aromatherapy pillows for my gal to sleep better ($14 per pillow)
4. Some organic baby products (California Baby products and Gaia products) ($$$$$$ :P)

The baby cubes will be very useful when I need to batch process the next food item for my girl - will be much less messy than my ice tray and then it won't have to compete for "space" with my ice cubes ... and I like the Gaia Skin Soothing Lotion (smells so niceeee). Am trying California baby for the first time - so hopefully my girl likes it =)

Baby food

In case you are wondering which book I'm reading - it's this:



Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron







Some reviews did complain that since the author is a vegetarian, she is bias against feeding children meat. So decide for yourself.

I like it for the fact that I can make my own baby food, which would otherwise be available commercially (Gerber's, etc). With all the food scares recently, really, I rather spend a little time to make the food for her, than to buy it readily off the shelves.

Flip-a-baby

She was trying to flipped earlier this evening (for me) and she did a flip so beautifully with her elbows tucked in correctly to support her when she's on her tummy. She was so pleased with herself - she went "yay! yay! yay!" and smiled happily.

Too bad I didn't capture it with my camera ...

Vanessa is 4 months old!

Wow, it's been more than 2 weeks since I last blog and Vanessa is already 4 months old (and 1 day).

I've been really busy at work - trying to complete my work on time and scheduling my pump sessions in between and flying home early enough to catch her before she sleeps.

This isn't going to be in chronological order of events - I'll just ramble off the events as I remember it:

Flip-Over:

1. Last sunday (29th July), she did her first-assisted flip over. I held her leg and after much huff and puff, she managed to flip over.
2. On friday morning (3rd August), she proudly demostrated to her parents her first flip by herself without any assistance (the maid claims she did twice by herself on the day before but since I didn't see it, it didn't quite count!).

Bonding with Vanessa:

1. Last friday the office had a function so she arrived just before dinner time at the hotel to 'check in for the night'. Since I was pumping and it was way past her feedtime (she didn't want to feed though), so I nursed her for a shortwhile and then asked the maid to bottlefeed. She didn't want to! For the very first time, she rejected the bottle for my breasts! In fact, after she returned to my arms, she rooted so I let her suckle until she was contented - it made me turned up for the dinner so late that I only managed to grab a plate of food before the hotel staff eagerly pounced to clear up the buffet table. Even if they had cleared the buffet by the time I arrive, I wouldn't had mind.
2. Also, she slept with me on the bed, so I tended to her until it was 4am, and I passed her to my maid as I still had some meetings to attend to in the morning.
3. On Saturday, the hubby got relegated to sleep on the floor. Not because of some domestic dispute but so that Vanessa can sleep comfortably on the bed. She woke up a few times, but I managed to put her back to sleep - which included me sleeping in a sitting position with her sleeping on my chest. I managed to last till about 3am, then she wanted her feed so I handed her back to my maid. I was supposed to go back to get her but I conked out for the rest of the night ;P
4. Last night, I was quite worried because she basically almost slept the entire Friday away. By the time I brought her into my room (after pumping), it was 11pm and her feed was suppose to be at 12 midnight. Anyway, she ZzZZzZ-ed till 1 am then complained. So I carried her over to the maid, prepared the formula feed and went back to nap for 30 minutes while she was fed. This time, I set the alarm for ring in 30 minutes time, so I went over to fetch her back to sleep. She slept quite well, except a few times when she woke up fussing. I guessed correctly she wanted to burp, so she went back to dreamland happily after she was burped. By the time we woke up next, it was 6am! Anyway we changed her nappy (no poo poo even though she gassed me quite a few times earlier) then I brought her back to bed and I got my pump gear ready. Then I turned to look at her, she was holding her new comforter and smiling so sweetly at me. So I got the hubby up, shifted her to the centre of the bed, so that he could play with her.
5. Tonight we shall see how she will sleep. I noticed that whenever she has something new - new mattress, cot, bumper, pillow, comforter, whatever, she sleeps very well in it (like breaking in the item!).

Her first solids:

1. Er, not quite yet. I've been reading the super baby food book given by my Sis-in-law and it seems like the choices of first solids are: banana, avocado, sweet potato and commercial rice cereal.
2. I managed to hunt down organic sweet potatoes (4 small ones that cost $4!), steamed it, pureed it, strained it and it's now sitting in my fridge / freezer. I have 2 portions for tomorrow and Monday morning - 1 teaspoon each, and we shall see how she takes to it. I have a feeding spoon somewhere, so just need to dig for it.
3. No pictures of it since it's just purple mush (we do have purple sweet potatoes, just like there's blue potato and blue corn).

Bad Mummy!:

1. Went home later by an hour or so one day after work, and she was already fast asleep when I reached. So I started on my dinner, then she stirred a little (she was asleep in the sling) so the maid walked over with her. She opened her eyes and looked at me. I smiled at her but she just glared at me and closed her eyes. I knew I was in for it!
2. Next morning, I got it from her. She was very happy to have her Daddy carrying her (bias! he was even later than me!) but the moment she saw me she started making unhappy noises. Usually she's quite happy to lie next to me and watch me pump for a little while. That morning, the moment she was put on the pillow next to me, she complained immediately and basically was quiet once she wasn't near me! Geez ... OK I got the message out and clear!
3. So that day, I knocked off just 15 minutes late and then zoomed home ... I reached home and she was just fussing to sleep. The moment she saw me she stopped and she didn't complain about me carrying her. She allowed me to carry her for almost 30 minutes without any complaints! She didn't sleep but seem to be enjoying my presence. After that, she even entertained my Aunt a little while more, then she slept. The morning after, back to normal, she smiled at me again and we continued our morning ritual. *sigh*

I'll post up the pictures and videos once I get around to downloading it.

*gasp*

My girl is in a hurry to grow ... she just cleaned out 160ml (that's 5.5 oz)! and her last feed was only 145ml 2 hours ago!

At the rate she is going, my milk supply is hardly going to be enough for her! I just took out 1 pack of my FBM and starting thawing it. The only good thing is that each of my FBM is 160ml - so it makes it easy to defrost and to bottle each time.

I am still gaping at the empty bottle ....

Other than eating, sleeping and crying ...

Vanessa is enjoying a brand new hobby ... dancing! and oh, she's officially starting on the 140ml feed ;P

Growing too fast ...

Vanessa is faring quite well after her jab. other than being a little cranky due to the heat, she only had a slight temperature twice.

She also had 2 patches of rashes, but since I couldn't lay my hands on the Avent "Magic Cream", I bought Gaia Soothing Skin Lotion instead, and it worked very well - 1 patch is gone and the other seems to be healing very well.

She also upped her quota - chugging down 145ml of milk once, to our disbelief. She had 125ml and then cried for more ... so I gingerly poured another 40ml for her to take and she had 20ml and promptly spat out the teat. For now, she seems to hover between 110ml to 125ml - when she starts to drain the 125ml dry, that's when all the Avent 125ml bottles goes into storage (I have 7 of them) and the 260ml comes into play.

She's also preferring to sleep on her tummy and last night, she only woke up twice for milk (from 10pm to 7am) which is quite a feat since she will usually wake up at 10pm, 1am & 4am before her next feed 7am. I just hope she will start sleeping through the night soon!

For the last week, I didn't have much time to spend with her - when she's awake, I'm pumping milk or fast asleep. When I'm awake. she's fast asleep. I had been ZzzZZzzZ away by 9 pm almost every night - just very exhausted from work and the lack of sleep. My pump cycle had to adjust accordingly if I couldn't wake up at 11pm to pump - waking up at 4 am to pump instead and then trying to grab another hour of sleep before it's time to wake up for work. Thankfully there's the weekend to do a little catching up on, but it's just too short.

I'm planning to buy a mattress so that I can sleep on the floor with her during the weekends. She's beginning to want to flip, so I guess it's safer for us to sleep on the floor instead.

I'm also planning to go for the next family photoshoot by end of the month, before she outgrows the "Me" tee I bought her. I bought some other clothes for her - sizing 12 to 18 months but I doubt she can fit in at that age! So We've been clearing out the smaller clothes and digging out all the clothes we thought she will take ages to fit in (how very wrong!) and packing her wardrobe accordingly.

At 3 months and 2 days old ...

My little sweetheart is now weighing in at 6.3kg and has grown to 62cm long/ tall. Wow, so I wasn't wrong when I said she was growing by leaps and bound!

The PD gave her a clean bill of health and progress, as the parents, we are happy and relieved. She also took in 2 jabs of vaccine and recieved another orally. How is she doing? Sluggish and tired and not taking in much milk, but so far no fever yet. She seems to be ok, but will have to keep an eye on her. I've taken leave for tomorrow to watch over her, so hopefully everything goes well *fingers crossed*

Vanessa is 3 months old!

How time flies, she's already 3 months old and she's grown so much - exactly by how much I'll find out this coming Thursday when we bring her for her next jab.

I'm now busy with work - the pace is picking up and I'm trying to cope with the flow. I still have so many new things to pick up and I hope I can do a good job. Not a matter concerning rice bowl, but the personal satisfaction of having done well in my job. Which brings me to my other full-time "job" as a mummy.

How am I faring? I think so far so good - I've learnt not to get upset when she cries. I'll let her cry it out while trying to soothe her, compared to a few weeks back when I'll just break down. I've learnt new tricks to try to entertain her - old songs come trickling to my brain cells as I sing to her. I'm just glad she likes my singing, I am tone deaf by the way!

How is my girl faring? Oh, she's growing by leaps and bounds, and she amazes me with her vocab. On a few occasions, she has made sounds that are so appropriate that we cannot help but be amazed by her - just too bad for my hubby he missed it all.

Example 1, I was carrying her when my maid came to show me a ropeburn on her finger, telling me how my naughty dog jerked the leash when my tiny one said, "HAR?"

Example 2 (this one I'll probably remember it for life), my maid was carrying her and I said to her, "Mummy's at home because I'm not feeling well, but tommorrow Mummy has to go back to work the whole day ok?" Her response? "UH-OH!" I'm wondering if it's too many ICQ beeps on my PC when she was nestling in my tummy.

I'm so afraid I'll miss so many more of her little moments, but I'm sure she will reserve some very special ones for her mummy...

Vanessa is upset ...

with us picking her up late from my mum's house.

Today I left work slightly late as I had the urgent need to pump ;P so by the time we reach my mum's place it was 7 plus. She was asleep but she was frowning!

My maid said she started fussing by 4pm and she told baby that mummy and daddy are still working so to be a good girl and sleep first. She did! And then, she woke up at 6pm and when she realise no signs of daddy and mummy, she threw a tantrum apparently and wailed angrily. So my maid had to pacify her and put her in the sling, then she went back to sleep.

We quickly finished our dinner, and she did wake up briefly to peek at her daddy who was carrying her. I guess that was good enough for her and then she continued to dream about milk bottles in dreamland. On the way back, she woke up and stare at me throughout the journey home, not making any noise.

We had a small window of time to play with her as it was nearing her next feed - she's sleepy but getting hungry so she's just contented to be carried. For a short while, she chatted with us, making her baby noises, then she got cranky and started to bully her daddy. So I got the maid to check her diapers while I went to warm up her milk. After her feed, she's now fast asleep and I hope she doesn't wake up at 3 am and refuse to sleep till 6am!. She does it from time to time, and it's quite tiring for my maid. Thankfully I'm on 1/2 day leave tomorrow, so if she does that, I can take over in the afternoon and let my maid rest a bit. I'll probably tuck in early tomorrow too - been surviving on 4 to 5 hours of sleep during workdays and it's getting to me. Hmmmm ... never quite expect myself to survive on such little sleep, afterall I'm well known to need my 8 hours of beauty sleep, else I'll turn into a sulky beast hehehehe

Sing a song of teddy bear ...

Teddy bear, teddy bear, run upstairs.
Teddy bear. teddy bear, say your prayers,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn off the lights,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, say good night.

We've been playing this nursery rhymes CD for her and this song is stuck in my head for today (previously was hot cross bun something).

As usual, in the evening she's tired but she kept her eyes wide open. We did make good use of the time by talking to her and playing with her for a little while. She was quite happy, smiling away at her precious daddy. She also reserved a smile for me when I kissed her (yup, my heart melted like a piece of butter on a heated pan).

After the fun, she was contented to let me carry her and sing to her. I was (and still is) very tired and I could really only remember the song above so I sang to her like a broken record, just repeating that 4 lines. She was SO contented, she even allowed me to sit down (normally she wants me to walk around). After a while, without me realising it, she dozed off quietly. The feeling is ... so sweet that I let her continue to sleep in my arms for the hour, until I really had to make a trip to the loo.

The time spent with her now seems so urgent. Why? Since I have returned to work, I hardly get to look at her, smell her, cuddle her, kiss her ... it's a moment to be savoured, but one that passes too quickly ...