A bolt from the blue skies

Baby: Week 17

Sometimes, when everything seems to be going fine, God likes to remind us that we are still humans. His way of a gentle reminder? By sending a bolt right across the blue skies.

No, I'm not resentful towards God. Just that sometimes, when things go well, I tend to push God towards the least of priorities. I should count my blessings, despite all the scares I had, my baby is still firmly sucking nutrients off the placenta via me. I know of my friends who weren't so lucky with their first or even second pregnancy. So what I was throwing up almost non-stop on days and I couldn't take in any food nor fluids? Compared to those who had to be hospitalised and to be put on the drip, mine is considered a mild case.

So what was this reminder about? I did a blood test last week and since there was no calls from the clinic, I assumed all was well. Until, two nights I saw I had 2 missed called from the clinic. Strange, I thought to myself, did they want to change my appointment or something? I was uneasy enough not to be able to sleep till 4am that night. Next morning, I called the clinic as soon as it was opened. Well, I was unlucky that I got their worst receptionist - she's just an auntie working part time to earn a living so her personal skills are absolutely the worst. The message I got from her was that the test results came back, it was positive for Down Syndrome but negative for the rest. Great way to put it I guess, short and straight to the point. In a way, I am glad that I was on medical leave that day, so my office didn't had to witness me breaking down.

I cried for the next few hours - my sister called me from USA, my best friend called me and they both said will pray for me. I couldn't get my hubby since it was 3 am his time, and despite his claims for being a light sleeper, he snores his way through the loudest claps of thunder. Then finally my elder sister texted me a message and said, it's ok, it's normal. She reminded me that it was positive in her case too, but her kids turned out just fine (I swore that the younger one makes up senseless tuneless sounds to hum to irritate me!).

I collected myself enough to call the clinic to ask for more details so they took down my questions to pass to Dr Y. He called later, during his lunch time, so I asked him, what was the percentage like. Mine was 1 in 94. Was there any other alternative than doing the amniocentesis test? No, because this test is the most accurate. What is the risk of miscarriage for doing this test? It's 0.3% to 0.4%. Was it very painful? The pain was in pushing the needle through my flesh to get to the amnio fluid in the uterus and I need to keep still for 1 to 2 minutes. He was kind enough to tell me that to think about it, and to let them know again if I wanted to go ahead with the test.

That afternoon, I finally managed to get my hubby and I told him about it. I did compare with my elder sis, her was 1 in 40 (more than double the chances compares to mine) and we mulled over it for a little while. He thinks we should go ahead (of course, I bear all the pain!) to make sure.

I had to see my GP later for my illness - was nursing a throbbing headache earlier so I didn't go earlier since I was driving myself. After the small talk about my flu was over, I asked him about the amniocentesis test and the positive marker. He said he couldn't remember the odds but he reminded me the most important question to address here is that, if the baby has really down syndrome, what would we do? If we do not mind, then we do not need to do the test. However, if we do mind, then we need to do the test to have the peace of mind. He also said that although the test did carry the risk of miscarriages, but it is very minimal.

I went over to visit this client of mine who is stationed nearby, she's 7 to 8 months pregnant and it's her second pregnancy. I am actually glad she spotted me while I was making my way to the GP. Although I wasn't really in the mood to socialising, but I tend to gravitate towards pregnant ladies at this point, because they can feel what I feel right now. I told her about the test results and she said another colleague of hers was also in the same situation. She did go ahead with the amniocentesis test and it turned out alright. That colleague of hers (whom I actually know as well since I used to service this particular chain of outlets) was going to give birth in February!. Wow! Is the government sure we are really short on babies? Then a customer came in so I waved byebye and left. She was so sweet, she called me later and told me not to worry, and to take care.

Last but not least, my gf in oz, tried calling me but we ended up chatting on MSN. I am thankful that I had my siblings and friends, even my GP and my ex-client to comfort me.

In ways unknown to us, God works to remind us we are not alone in our troubles too, despite a gentle reminder that just how vulnerable we all are.