The very last few straws ...

that breaks the camel's back figuratively ...

 

I've been having blocked ducts and plugged ducts for the entire week - so imagine my pain and the frustration at spending 1/4 of the day pumping away just because a few ducts refuse to copperate.

 

I've even rushed down to my PD's office to beg for a few syringes because the usual haunt didn't have stock and the other place I bought is the wrong brand (trust me, the brand DOES matter). I've also been to a lactation consultant for help. Well, that solved 1 problem, but a few others blocked  ducts came up as well, and now I'm battling this really stubborn plugged ducts.

 

I'm just so tired from all these, that I am serious comtemplating to give up breastfeeding for good. My girl refuses to latch on now, she even pushes me away! I can only console myself that she's teething so she doesn't want to hurt me by treating my breasts as a teething tool.

 

I've tried all kinds of tools that I shall not mention here, and I've even tried using baby's oil to soften the "plugged duct" to no avail. I will probably visit another lactation consultant 1 more time and if it doesn't work, I'm throwing in the towel. I'm really too tired to go on. I want to spend time playing with my baby, not desperately trying to clear ducts.

 

I've been neglecting my sweethear due to the increased time in pumping, so much so that she complained loudly when she saw me. She was being carried by the daddy and she more than readily hopped into my arms when I offered to carry her. She quietened down immediately and slump on my shoulder. The feeling ... wonderfully sweet ... after being so ultra miserably tired and suffering from that constant pulsing pain in the chest.

 

Even my dogs complained about the lack of attention. The boy doggie yelped so loudly one morning behind my back (I was getting ready to go to work) that I thought my husband stepped on his paws accidentally. My hubby claimed that he didn't even touch him at all! All this while, the dog looked so sad, with the ears flattened down and the poor suffering paw hanging up in the air. So my hubby checked his paws and there was no cut. The dog got up, still with the poor suffering paw held up from the offending ground. I was thinking what's wrong with him when the girl doggie came bouncing in and immediately the pain in that paw was forgotten. HE WAS FAKING IT! My goodness ;P

 

Anyway back to the original topic - yes I'm considering to give it up for good. I've done my best and it's just too bad that one breast isn't cooperating at all. However, even though my girl doesn't want to latch on anymore, there's this lingering sadness ... whenever I think that I wouldn't be breastfeeding anymore ...