10 little swollen digits

These days, the swollen legs and the backaches don't bother me as much as my 10 little swollen digits - I wake up every morning to the humming of pain in my swollen fingers and palm (I removed my wedding band long time ago) and it's so bad that:

1. I cannot clench my hand into a fist - it's way to painful to even curl the fingers towards the palm
2. I cannot grip the door knob - any application of pressure hurts
3. I can't wash my hair using my fingers since I cannot curl them - I use my palms to rub the shampoo in
4. Gripping the toothbrush to do the deed is a painful affair to - so now I resolve to just gargle in the mornings with mouthwash and to thoroughly brush my teeth before I sleep (no more in between Milo!)

I tried doing some research as to how to reduce the pain and the swelling and some of which I came across were - soaking the hands (whatever apply to the feet should apply to the hands right?) in warm water (with added bath salts), massage (yoohooo hubby do you read this??), and placing the hands above the head (I tried, but how long can I hold it up? Not unless i handcuff myself!). Even typing on the keyboard is getting bothersome, but it is still manageable for now. However, using a pen or pencil to write, it's still a pretty painful affair.

In fact, I even noticed that the swollen areas on my feet, even if it's not swollen when touched, any slight pressure applied hurts too. I missed my foot massage this week and I hope I won't miss it the coming week! I really need the massages to keep my digits and limbs working with little pain/ ache as much as possible until the little one pops up!

In the meanwhile, I guess the soaking in warm water with added bath salt should be the best option for now - I only have a few more weeks to go ...

Our Birth Plan!

(Created from www.birthplan.com)

Our wishes for Childbirth
Due Date: 19 April 2007
Patient of Dr Y
Scheduled to deliver at Thomas Medical Centre.

Feb 21, 2007

Dear Dr Y and the staff of TMC

We have considered carefully the various options and procedures for childbirth, and we have arrived at the following decisions. Thank you for your help in advance!

Sincerely,

Labour

1. I wish to be able to move around and change position at will throughout labor.
2. I will be bringing my own music to play during labor.
3. I would like the lights in the room to be kept low during my labor.
4. I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.
5. I would like to be given ice chips and milo drink during the first stage of labour
   

Monitoring

1. I do not want an internal monitor unless My baby has shown some sign of distress.
2. I wish to have continuous fetal monitoring
   

Labour Augmentation/Induction

1. If labour needs to be induced, we prefer to opt for C-section (LA)
   

Anesthesia/Pain Medication

1. I may wish to consider to have a standard epidural

Cesarean

1. If a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to be fully informed and to participate in the decision-making process.
2. I would like My husband present at all times if My baby requires a Cesarean delivery.
3. I wish to have an epidural for anesthesia
4. If My baby is not in distress, My baby should be given to me immediately after birth.
   

Episiotomy

1. I would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely required for the baby's safety.
2. I would appreciate guidance in when to push and when to stop pushing so the perineum can stretch.
3. I would prefer an episiotomy rather than a tear.
4. I would like a local anesthetic to repair a tear or an episiotomy.
   

Delivery

1. I would like My husband and/or nurses to support me and my legs as necessary during the pushing stage.
2. Even if I am fully dilated, and assuming My baby is not in distress, I would like to try to wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning the pushing phase.
3. I would appreciate having the room lights turned low for the actual delivery.
4. I would like to have My baby placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.
   

Immediately After Delivery

1. I would like to have My husband cut the cord.
2. I do not want a routine injection of pitocin after the delivery to aid in expelling the placenta.
3. I would like to donate the umbilical cord blood if possible.
   

Postpartum

1. Unless required for health reasons, I do not wish to be separated from My baby.
2. I would like to have My baby 'room in' after I have had some time to recover.
3. I would like My baby with me during the day but in the nursery at night.

Breastfeeding

1. I plan to breastfeed My baby and would like to begin nursing very shortly after birth.
2. Unless medically necessary, I do not wish to have any bottles given to My baby (including glucose water or plain water).
3. I do not want My baby to be given a pacifier.
4. If I am unable to breastfeed after delivery for whatever reason and my baby is hungry, please feed my baby formula milk with a cup

*End*

State of the Hospital Bag

Let's take a look at how ready I am to dash off to the hospital if the baby decides to come early:

1. Hospital Notes - none (probably won't be doing one)
2. Birth Plan - in progress!
3. Nightgowns (Preferably the type you can unbutton in front of easy breastfeeding) - checked!
4. Maternity bras - checked!
5. Bra pads - checked!
6. Maternity sanitary pads - checked!
7. Small plastic bags for soiled stuff (personal hygiene) - to note
8. Bedroom Slippers - er I only have one side, the other side is still MIA :P
9. Nipple Cream - checked!
10. Dark coloured towel - checked!
11. Comfortable briefs or disposable underwear -checked!
12. Clothes for when leaving the hospital - to note
13. Favourite toiletries - checked! (except for toothbrush and toothpaste though ...)

8 out of 12 items isn't all too bad I guess - but I'm still working 1 item, and the other 3 items can be easily resolved, so I guess I am almost ready! Now to remember for the other 2 lists ;P when I get down to it ...

Things to do

1. Complete packing the hospital bag - ok this is a must do! hubby's friend just gave birth today and they had not packed their hospital bag yet (was due for C-section on the coming monday)
2. To clean out the maid's room and get in new furniture for her - time to go shopping at Ikea!
3. To clean out the nursery room and put up the cutesy pictures I bought - note to self: buy glue and frame for the pooh's jigsaw puzzle
4. To disassemble cot and reassemble cot when nursery is cleaned out
5. Buy furniture for nursery - mainly drawers and changing pad (white!) - Ikea too!
6. To complete birth plan - to include some other minor details that I think should not be left to my hubby in case I get conked out on the epidural
7. Wash and sort out hand-me-downs baby clothes - 80% done! Soaked the whites and pastels and managed to get most of the stains out, left the other 20% coloured clothings to wash, will try to do so by this weekend
8. Clean out closet and donate old clothes to Salvation Army - must remember to be "cruel" to my clothes and if the hubby's still not doing it, to clean out his clothes anyway
9. Clean out expired stuff in fridge and around the house - should I wait for the maid to do this? ;P
10. Scan baby's pictures - before the hubby says,"But you kept them right?"
11. *ermmmmm*

What was that again?

With the advancing of the pregnancy, my memory is getting progressively worse.

For example, at the annual poker game organised by my gf, I could scarely remembered what was my covered card, even though I had just looked at it barely 1 second ago. In the end, I had to look at the card constantly to make sure I got the card correct. *tsk*

Not to mention, I am failing to remember my various bosses names (yes, how bad can it get!) and I could only point to the room and say "that one!" and someone else fills in the blank for me. I am so worried now that I will forget to do something *ack* and then it comes back to haunt me BIG TIME ... for eg, "bad girl! no bonus for you! no pay rise for you!" *argh* So far I'm still ok, I have colleagues to remind me what I need to get done, but even with the constant reminder and my taped-up "to do list", I still feel very insecure. I guess I'll just have to scribble down when the "reminders" suddenly flash across my eyes - if I am fast enough that is, I might just hold the pen over the paper and wonder "what was that again?"

I'm told it will get worse, and it'll last for several months after the baby pops out even - it doesn't help that I have poor memory skills to begin with ... I should start getting finger tags soon, since I'll probably forget why I tied my fingers with a ribbon in the first place!

The personality of the baby

Strange but I'm beginning to discern a few personality traits of of the little missy ...

1. She's a sleepy head like me - can sleep and sleep ... she seldom kicks me at night, and she's usually awake for short spurts during the day time
2. She doesn't like meetings - she kicks non-stop whenever I'm engaged in a meeting (serious!)
3. She doesn't like to entertain people - only as and when she pleases!

She's sticking her feet right up in my ribs again!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Happy CNY! Baby sorta spent the first CNY quietly - she's hardly fidgeting except for a bout of suspected hiccups this evening (rhythmic "blips" continously for 2 minutes or so).

She's probably tired since I didn't have a good rest last night - hubby complained about me snoring and I complained about him snoring, Iwas half asleep throughout the entire night and was continously awoken by the pain on my hips (can't sleep on the left, can't sleep on the right!). After this morning visits, we came straight home and slept for a solid 2 hours! Then we made our way out again for more visits. Tomorrow is a quiet day, not much activities/ visits planned, so it would be a good day to rest at home.

She's moving alright - she stuck her feet/ legs up on my sides again and I felt her shifting a bit but she's just not vigrously actively kicking (which she always does when I am in a meeting).

2 more months to go - and she's out ... I'm excited yet scared at the same time ... of the childbirth, of the days ahead when I have to cradle her, feed her, bathe her - am I up to it?

Updates ... We're in Week 31!

1) I've gained about 4kg since my last visit *GASP* now I weigh in at 68kg so my total weight gain is now almost 9 kg! *ack*

2) Baby's gained 700 another grams, making her now 1.8kg. Dr Y says she's in a VERY good size (I assume for natural birth)

3) My glucose intolerance tests results are negative so I'm clear of gestational diabetes! *hooray*

4) Her head already quite "down" so unlikely to turn anymore (sideways or beech) - meaning she'll probably engage in the correct position for natural birth

5) Brought along the birth plan which I completed in less than 20 minutes *strut* Thanks to my Sis-in-law copy she did up for her birth and I found this website: http://birthplan.com/ I wasn't really sure about all the options, but I could remember some of the stuff from my SIL's BP and so I click on those that matter to me, some iffy ones and showed them to Dr Y. So we had a quick discussion what is possible and what is not, as well as those iffy ones that I asked him to explain, for eg, what is pitocin? So now at least I have a better idea, I can finalise the birth plan.

6) I wanted a picture of baby too, but she wasn't in a good mood. Her face is pressing against the side so we can't see what's her expression, so I wanted a picture of her hands or feet. Anyway didn't get a decent view, so we settled for the side view instead.

7) We remembered in time to ask him about booking the delivery hospital - so we settled for TMC single bed. Hopefully we will be able to get the renovated rooms when she's ready to see the world.

I'll see Dr Y in 3 weeks time again - hopefully I won't gain too much weight since there'll be plenty of CNY goodies to munch on. He did tell me to lay off as much as possible the Macs meal but it's one of the easiest food to lay my hands on. *sigh* Oh, and the swollen pig trotters of mine is here to stay till baby is out. *double sigh*

A tight fit and other random thoughts

I think it must be getting to be a tight fit for my girl, since she's in the habit of sticking her limbs at my sides. Unless it gets too uncomfortable, I'll let her have her way, since she needs the space to stretch a little. I can't see any fist or the foot sticking out like a print on my side, so it's a guessing game for now.

Some random thoughts:
1) I heard over the radio "I want you back, I want you back back" and I thought of my "wild" days ... I don't know why, but the image of my friend, Kenny (who happens to be a father of 2 kiddos now!), dancing away on the table top in Wong Sans (already defunct) flashed across my eyes so vividly. Then I thought, "What's my little girl going to be like when she's 25?" Then followed by, "Argh! I don't think I want to know!"

2) Am I going to be like my mum??????

3) Can I count on my hubby to play with her? I'm horrid at playing with kids - I just don't know how to amuse them! masak masak time will probably be the most tiring for me!

4) Would she grow up to be my little helper when it's baking time? Would she share my interest in reading and baking? Not collecting Swarovski stuff is fine with me - it is expensive enough as it is to have a collector! I just hope she won't get addicted to Warcraft :P

5) What is she going to be like when she's in her pre-teens and teens? I think this is probably the most scary bit =( boys problems, girlfriends problems, this 2 issues are enough to turn my hair white ...

*sigh*

Just another day ...

Woke up with backache and swollen hands/ fingers again ... but at least it's a Saturday and I can wallow in self-misery while snuggling under the blanket and extend the ZzzZzz hours. I still woke up earlier than my hubby who was basically almost dead to the world - fiddled with my orchids and pieceing some pieces of the Pooh's jigsaw puzzle. He had to go to work today and so we went for a quick breakfast at Macs then I dropped him off at work since I had a lunch appointment.

On the way back, I popped by Sunset Way to get some fishes (since all the others expired) and thankfully the nearest carpark had parking spaces available. In total, I spent $50, bought some fake plants (since real plants never last more than 2 weeks and in case the fishes wants to produce offsprings), 11 swordtails, 3 albino catfishes and 3 sucker fishes. Hopefully, tomorrow I won't see any floating bodies, I had dumped in 150ml of bio-starter liquid as well as 100ml of 5-in-1 water conditioner on Friday night.

Lunch was ok - saved for some young lady who doesn't know the meaning of being gracious to a pregnant lady, but it's ok. What goes round comes round :) Had fun catching up with ex-colleagues and my hubby graciously agreed to come down to town and to drive us back (traffic was horrendous and I horned no less than 20 times on the way to lunch - blamed it on the hormones?)

We came back and took a nap (in air con comfort since my bedroom windows faces the west). Then we headed out for dinner with the couple we travelled with to Japan. Dinner was DELICIOUS since basically I called the shots - had black pepper crab, druken herbal prawns, marmite chicken and fried rice with salted fish. It was a great excuse to make a trip down to G7 aka Sinma Restuarant (at Geylang Lorong 3) since the couple stayed nearby. After that, we went to their place to pick up some baby stuff - about 6 to 7 bags in total! So we would have to sort it out after CNY, hopefully the baby doesn't decide she wants to come out early!

I came back and potter a bit more around my plants - went downstairs and got myself a sprig of money plant (the hubby refuses to engage in "illegal" activities). It's now sitting in a pot of soil and I hope it will survive!

My orchids are growing lots of flowers shoots and I do hope they open in time for CNY - then the couplet on my main door would really ring true!

迎 花
春 开
接 富
福 贵

I'm 30 weeks? Wow!

How time flies, baby's just turned the big 3 0 inside me ... and I didn't even realise I'm so far in my pregnancy (10 weeks to go if she decides to come on the EDD).

Panicking? You bet ... I haven't pack the room meant for the nursery! I haven't cleared out the room for the maid! I haven't even pack my hospital bag *argh* I haven't even decided on the birth plan yet! OOOPS!

The only thing I've completed is .... washed the covers for the sofa ;P

Ouch!

Not any contractions, but rather my left hip. It's has been giving me problems since the day before and last night was so bad I couldn't walk unassisted. Tried to apply heat pack and got the Hubby to do some massage, but it was still quite bad. This morning I rested in bed but I'm still hobbling around ... Probably a nerve got stuck at the wrong place!

Talking about contractions, I just purchased raspberry leaf tea from MomsInMind and I was warned not to take too much initally - else I will be experiencing strong contractions before I'm due for delivery! It's suppose to help during the childbirth so hopefully I won't have to endure 12 hours of labour. We toured the labour wards at TMC on sunday (after watching all the delivery videos - while not as bloody as I imagined, but I was still pretty scared!) and was told we could bring in our own heating pads as well as CDs, etc etc etc ... I'll make another list for the labour ward ;)

The number of things to bring seems to be increasing hehe ...

Spring cleaning and other what nots for CNY

It's the time for spring cleaning - I've yet to packed up the mess in the house, but I've managed to nag the hubby to finally take down the Christmas tree. Yesterday was baking day - first I baked a cake for Phoebe's first birthday (wasn't fair that she doesn't get her 1st birthday celebrations when Rascal did!) then proceeded to make sugi cookies with my sister (her kids helped too).

It was fun, while I cannot do a lot of things easily, like squatting or bending down, but the measuring of ingredients, frying of the almonds and doing up the cookie balls (the sifting of flour was covered by my sister-in-law and brother and the mixing of the cookie dough was delicately handled by my sister) was still relatively ok for me. At least I get to taste the good old flavours of yesterday - flavours of CNY when I was a kid! We accidentally halved the raising agent as we forgot we were doubling the recipe, but all in all, still a crunchy cookie with yummy almond bits!

Then yesterday I decided to "overhaul" the water feature - I had bought a new pump but never put it to use and my "fortune pot" is just wasting away in the algae. So I got the hubby to help, pumped out the smelly water and pour in new water. All in all, the water feature looked a lot cleaner, neater (since I fixed up the new pump and placed the pot properly but my fishes couldn't take the trauma and all, as in ALL, of them just expired. *sigh* This means I have to do another water change and get new fishes ... I was quite sad since these fishes had been with me for more than 2 years (although I was never as attached to them as to my goldfishes). Either my pails were dirty somehow, or the shifting of my "Fisherman Jiang" were not very good to the fishes :P

So now, we are left with packing the stuff in the house (junk junk junk everywhere) and to hang up some of the pictures we have gotten (and picked up from the dustbin - probably dumped by my neighbout but it was a picture I had been eyeing from Ikea for sometime!), cleaning up the bedrooms to get ready for the maid and the baby ... I better settle all these before the 7% GST apply!

Yay! No more needles for the day!

I'm proud to say that I survived the "ordeal". I didn't hurl although my body was 2 minds about it. Scratching the skin of the lemon definitely helped. The whiff of fresh lemons sent my stomach the other way and the occasional lick of the lemon flesh (I took tiny nibbles on the flesh ;P) helped me to endure the 2 hour ordeal.

In between, reading magazines helped to pass time a lot faster, and looking at food pictures or thinking of what food to eat after that (I was dreaming of tom yum soup) helped to distract my stomach and my mind from the vile liquid in my stomach.

The drawing of blood - well, second time was the most painful since she took from the same vein. The third one was more painful than the first, but probably because I was so terse - I couldn't wait for it to be over.

So when she said I could go, I was so relieved - I was all smiles to the receptionists. Yes, and I hurried down to Thai Express and ordered my Tom Yum soup!

Blood and needles and yucky sugar solution

Here I am again, at the clinic doing the glucose intolerance test.

This time, I came armed with a whole lemon, that in the event they refuse to suck the lemon, at least I can scratch the skin and breathe in the lemony smell.

So far so good, the lady who is drawing my blood (different from last week) is more professional. She has no hesitation in poking the needle in and actually, it's not as bad as last week. It's actually bearable.

Anyway, she allowed me to lick the lemon (I brought my table knife ;P) so it's a lot more bearable - at least I can use a combination of smell and taste to control the urge to hurl.

My dearest hubby just bought a pastry from Delifrance (his breakfast) and asked "Do you want any?" then "Oh, you cannot!" Ya, thanks a lot dear :P

15 more minutes to my next urine test and then blood test. I'll update again.

Maternity Clothing in Singapore

I have some hand me downs but 1) my sister was so slim (her full term belly = my 6th month belly) 2) my SIL had loan hers to others so I had to wait a little while more to get some clothing from her - so I ended up doing some shopping for maternity clothes (although my sister bought me some new pieces too - I guess, any excuses for shopping ... have you ever been on the Victoria's Secrets website? It's very addictive ... and they accept credit cards from Singapore).

I decided initally to buy some from GAP but after the WORST ever service I encountered, I returned the order, borne return postage as long as I didn't have anything to do with them anymore. And till now, they still have not refunded the credit charges yet. This service from GAP deserve one full posting by itself - if I can bring myself to rant and rave over their lousy servive again.

In the end, I bought some of my maternity clothing from ... VICTORIA'S SECRETS! They were having sale so I bought the babydoll tees, and some tee-shirt bras (my favourite). Some purchases (like the dress) were so-so but generally the babydoll tees were a good buy. The idea was that I could still wear the clothes for normal wear after I've *slimmed* down after pregnancy.

I also purchased my maternity pants - 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of cordroy (?) pants and 1 pair of yoga pants from OldNavy Maternity. I also bought some tee shirt maternity blouses for work and some camis. Generally I consider my buy from OldNavy as the best - because I saw similar stuff sold in a local shops with the pricing doubled (this considering I include shipping costs for my per piece purchase from OldNavy.

Recently, I went shopping again (at Suntec), for CNY clothes and I spent about $400 :P so what did I buy?

The first shop I ventured into was Spring Maternity. Their jeans look like a good buy at $79.90 but I already have mine so I'm good. The rest of the clothes - er ... I thought look pretty blah ... maybe I was looking for brighter colour clothings.

1 dress $79.90 (which is really a maternity dress - you can't use it after the pregnancy as a normal dress)
1 pair of capri pants $39.90

Then I walked a bit more (looking for the loo) and I chanced upon Perfect Mum. Well, this shop looks like a local outfit (meaning more like Far East Plaza kinda shop) so anyway went in to take a look. The sales staff is superb at sales, so while I didn't buy everything they recommended, I came away with

1 dress $79.90 or $89.90 (which I can double as a evening dress or cocktail dress after I return to my normal size) 10% discount
1 black capri pants $39.90 10% discount
1 white capri pants $59.90 10% discount
2 tube tops cum nursing tops (PINK!!! YAY!!!!!!) $39.90 each or $49.90 each (which if I leave the nursing *hole* intact I still can wear as a normal casual top) 10% discount
1 pack of maternity undies (my current undies are getting *tight*) $36.90 no discount
1 strapless nursing bra $25 I think (with 50% discount already)

The Hubby ranted and raved for a while after I came home with the purchases - unfortunately that's the problem with maternity wear in Singapore - expensive investment for such a short period of time (I have slightly more then 2 months to go). The only good thing is really, I try to pick pieces I can wear after the pregnancy as normal wear (I think it will take a LOONNNNGGGG while before I ever get to slim down). Oh the capri pants is all the V front with adjustable straps, meaning all I need is to make it tighter if I want to wear post pregnancy, but it's a comfortable fit - I dun have to worry about the "rubber band" constriction during the last stage of pregnancy.

Don't buy on impulse, just make sure it's not overtly expensive if you are constrained by a budget and do look for pieces that can be worn post maternity.

URL for online maternity shopping site: www.oldnavy.com (only accept US credit cards, else make use of the VPOST concierge services) (only US$5 shipping to any US destination! I use VPOST USA shipping services to Singapore)

URL for online addictive shopping site: www.victoriassecret.com (look out for sales period - best time to pick pieces on sales or take adv of the offer of up to 30% discount or free shipping to any US destination. I use VPOST USA shipping)

Perfect Mum and Spring Maternity (and other shops) is located at Suntec City Mall - 3rd level, just round the corner from Toy R Us.

Ante-nantal Class No 2.

This class was more squeamish than the first - they showed a video on a various types of pain relief. Needless to say, the epidural looks like the most painful pain relief to be administered.

Laughing gas (Entanox I think) looks the simpliest, since it's just inhaling gas at the start of each contractions. The pain relief is of course a lot less than being administered the epidural.

The class also covered some more exercises which we had difficulty in grasping the concepts initally, but after a while, the hubbies were "trained" to helped their wives to do the exercies correctly.

One of the MOST IMPORTANT lessons learnt was how the baby will look like after being delivered. Apparently he or she will be darkish in colour as well as covered in white stuff. The instructor gave us the warning ahead of what to expect, in case we freak out when the baby is placed on us (for bonding). Next week, we will have a glimpse since we will be watching the video on birthing *groan*

Apparently I'll be the perfect candidate for epidural since I have such low threshold of pain - So C or N? *argh*

Suffering pain for nothing =(

We made our way down to the clinic this morning - me, hungry and thristy, and dreading the immediate future.

First thing they asked for was a sample of my urine, to which thankfully my bladder cooperated. I thought I had emptied my bladder as much as I could at home, but I guess my late night (before 12 midnight) binging on water/ soup helped a little.

Then as usual, my veins are kind of missing in action, so they could only choose one of the vein which was slightly more obvious. Yes, it was painful as usual, so I guess it's not a matter of skills, it's just too bad for me that the veins willing to present itself are the ones which will cause me more pain.

The sugar solution, which they had kindly added a little more water for me, tasted like very bad lime cordial. They won't let me suck or add my lemon, so I had to just drink it as it is. I had a total of 4 small cups, and I took almost 15 minutes to finish it. This is considering that I was already very thristy. Barely after I had finished the second cup, my head started throbbing. By the third cup, I was feeling queasy. Anyway, I managed to finish the 4th cup and rested in the room. I had the urge to hurl but got my hubby to pat my back, so I burped instead.

Alas, but all in vain. Just 20 minutes to go before they draw my blood again, I hurled out at least 1 cup of the solution. So the test had to be cancelled for today and to be done another day.

*sigh*

Hospital/ Labour Bag Checklist

Since I'm waiting for my herbal soup to cool down, I might as well post up the checklist of items to pack for the labour/ hospital bag (as long promised):

1. Hospital Notes
2. Birth Plan
3. Nightgowns (preferably the type you can unbutton in front of easy breastfeeding)
4. Maternity bras
5. Bra pad
6. Maternity sanitary pads
7. Small plastic bags for soiled stuff (personal hygiene)
8. Bedroom Slippers
9. Nipple Cream
10. Dark coloured towel
11. Comfortable briefs or disposable underwear
12. Clothes for when leaving the hospital
13. Favourite tioletries

For your partner:

1. Coins - lots of them for the vending machines
2. Camera, storage card/ laptop plus charger (film too if you are not on digital yet)
3. Handphones plus charger (if any)
4. Videocam plus charger (if any)
5. Change of clothes (if bunking in)
6. SHAVER (no scratchy chins allowed!)
7. Reading materials

For your baby (if the hospital is not providing any):

1. Baby Vests
2. Scratch mitts and booties (about 3 pairs each)
3. Wrapping blanket
4. Disposable diapers or nappies
5. Preferred baby tioletries (if you are insisting on organic products)

I think I've gotten most of the items above - just need to sort them out, washed them with the baby laundry detergent and then pack it nicely into a bag or two.

I'm almost there!

Why some names don't make it to my list

1) Deborah - reminds me of Nicholas Tse's mother (Patrick Tse's ex wife)
2) Megan - My friend's child's name
3) Jewel - as above
4) Jade - as above
5) Clara - as above
6) Natalie - as above
7) Esther - as above
8) Beatrice - Why would you want to leave you kid's future happiness in some cruel kid's hand? She's never live it down as "Beat rice! Beat the rice!"
9) Angelique - Thanks to a timely reminder of a child's cruelty, "Angel Lick Me!"
10) Ruth - Wruff wruff!

I'll update more when I can remember ... sometimes it's a child's cruelty that scares me the most.

The looming doom of the needles

I have this glucose test tomorrow - not sure of the actual test name - but it's suppose to test if I have gestational diabetes.

I am to stop all food and water by 12 midnight, make my way to the clinic tomorrow at 9 plus then (if I am not wrong) 1) take my blood, and drink the sugary solution 2) wait for 1 hour, take blood again 3) wait for another hour, take blood again. All with no other food or drink inbetween. I have a problem too, when I get a sugar high, my head splits apart in the form of a migraine. So the clinic says to remind them to give me a little more water. I am also bringing a sliced lemon, to suck on. I doubt I want to have the sugary taste lingering in my mouth for 2 hours.

It's the needles that's making me quake in my flats. I hate needles, I hate having my blood drawn, I HATE PAIN, period. I just hope I don't scream down his entire clinic.

:~(

Chinese name for my girl

This is the Chinese name I like ...

赖恺宁 lai4 kai3 ning2

恺 for happy
宁 for serenity

Why I like this name - Most of all, I want her to be happy in life. Serenity is important too, given my fiery temper so hopefully she can counter my stubborn streak with her serenity.

Hopefully my choice has the correct number of strokes, etc etc. Will ask one master to see if the name is suitable for her.

The characters should be not be too difficult to write too, since I already have problems trying to write my hubby's surname!

Er, say that again?

I was talking to a gf today and out of curiosity, asked her how she would pronounce the name "Keira".

Surprisingly, it was quite similar to my pronounciation, it would be "Key-Air-Ra".

Why? I happened to come across this forum thread discussing this very question and to be honest, I widened my eyes a little. You can access it here.

As my gf puts it, it is a problem when choosing a name for your child. You want it to be unique but you would want it to be easily pronounciable by others. She faced it herself, since most of us had difficulty in pronouncing her son's name "Liam". Most of the time, it sounded like the Hokkien word for "Sticky". However, she found a good way to help people like me remember how to pronounce it - the second half of "Wil-liam". I was like "Geez, that's easy!" I just hope I can remember it!

Someone also told me, a colleague of hers named her child as "Phoebe" but pronounced it as "Foe-Bee" until someone corrected her.

So that's lesson number 1 for me, so "Keira" is out. It's just too much work to debate how your child's name should be pronounced.

What's in a name?

What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

Shakespeare

Ok, serving up the names in the family...

1 Alissa
2 Anjanette
3 Anna
4 Anne
5 Carol
6 Cecilia
7 Chloe
8 Denise
9 Diane
10 Elena
11 Elisabeth
12 Elizabeth
13 Emily
14 Grace
15 June
16 Margaret
17 Maureen
18 Melissa
19 Nichole
20 Olivia
21 Paula
22 Phoebe
23 Victoria

I'm sure there's more but I cannot remember at this point. I'll add on if I recall them.

So a list of possible names I've made out (I'm quite settled on the Chinese name already):

1 Alexis
2 Ashley
3 Charlotte
4 Charmaine
5 Emma
6 Ida
7 Isabelle
8 Kaydee
9 Kaylee
10 Keira

Somebody help me?

Ante-natal Class No 1

Just attended our first lesson on Sunday at TMC - quite happy actually because they taught the hubbies how to give back and leg massages to the wives. I should have went for the class earlier!

In the class, there were other ladies indulging in Coke like me (I don't feel so bad now but the instructed said we need to aviod all carbonated drinks) and there were some asking about eating sashimi and drinking alcohol. I'm just glad I'm already gone for my holiday in Japan and my obgyn gave me quite a leeway in my choice of food/ drinks. Oh and I'm not that late too, some ladies are about as advanced as me, so I don't feel so "slow".

We had 1 free Avent milk bottle (with some Avent brochures but I already bought my Avent electric milk pump and some milk bottles) so now i have a total of 6 Avent bottles. I really need to get down and sort out my baby stuff - I'm getting a bit overwhelmed already. My sis-in-law (hubby's side) asked if we need to borrow anything, but frankly speaking, as usual, I have no clue.

Oh ya, need to pack the hospital bag *argh* Now I'm just pre-occupied with the baby name - I made out a list of names in the family and I'm looking at 23 names (including my MS). Quite a list to filter out *sigh* I'll post up the names after this.

Pre-natal massage - HmMmmmM

Managed to get some time off from work today and rushed down for my first pre-natal massage ever.

To be honest, I was really looking forward to this since I'm really quite tired out this whole week (been having nightmares about work and for some strange reasons, dreaming about having to feed 3 doggies).

The place isn't too far off from the office, and thank goodness it wasn't raining, plus traffic at that hour was still quite bearable. Took me only 15 minutes to reach there, so I was in fact even early for my appointment.

The place is in a kinda strange location, in an industrial building and the entrance is in the carpark itself! But the place inside is nicely decorated and cosy, so it is quite a plus point.

The massage was about 60 minutes long and it was GOOD. I fell asleep and even snored :P As usual, after the massage, the sales talk begun. My hubby would be so proud of me, I actually resisted buying any packages. Anyway, it doesn't make sense. They won't do pre-natal massages for beyond 8 months and I'm going to be in my 7th month soon (I just found out - I thought I was still in my 6 months, so I am officially in my 3rd trimester!).

Besides I had some grouses about the place, which are: 1) The massage bed is so HARD that my hips hurt while lying on it - I even had difficulty turning to my sides because it's actually painful to do so. This could be solved if they had a mattress padding or some sort, but I doubt they had any. They said the bed was probably too new - so new that I could feel the board under? 2) The massage starts from the feet up, and they didn't even wipe down the feet or offer a basin of water to wash in. Not that I really mind, but if my feet is really hot and sweaty, I'll be really quite unhappy.

Still, for the massage alone, I may still make another trip down, just hopefully they won't try to sell me some packages. I came away much more relaxed and my tight shoulder muscles loosen. The back doesn't hurt as much either - I think I will have a really good sleep tonight! ;)

Baby's weighing in by the kg now!

Baby's currently in her 27th week, weighing in at 1.1kg. Me? I gained ... let me count, 64.2kg - 62.9kg that works out to be 1.3kg. Not to bad, in all, I've gained *erm* 64.2kg - 59.8kg = 4.4kg? My maths is really bad so if it's wrong, do tell me so ;P

Dr Y says baby's weight is of the "normal size" and my weight gain is ok. However, he did say baby will gain weight more quickly from now. I panicked a little and asked, "How much? 4 kg at delivery?" He laughed and said if anything beyond 3.5kg, he'll ask me to do a C section. That set me thinking a bit ...

Then we discussed a bit on the birthing bit, and I told him I'll try natural (he nodded and said,"Good.") but if I had to be induced it's confirmed C for me. He went, "Ah ... but we won't know if you need to be induced." So I said, "Ya precisely, so if I had to be, I definitely want C!" As usual, we will discussed that at a later date. Then he asked about the choice of hospital. So I told him we had already signed up for the TMC FBI thingy plus completed tour BUT ... I had visited my colleague who just gave birth in Mt A and I did a site visit of the tiolet. I told him, based on the tiolet alone, I'm so tempted to pick Mt A. I think Dr Y is probably wondering what a weird patient he has, but anyway he said, "the tiolet is not the only one that's old, have you seen the labour ward?" We replied we've looked at the place so we know it has not been renovated yet. We also talked about the nicely renovated rooms which is not likely going to be given to us, since it's upon request and they will try to acceed to the request if possible (sounds like a hotel upgrade). I think he's really pro Mt A for whatever reason. However, he did say the single bed is very popular too so it can be quite hard to get it. Sometimes they convert a double room to a single room because they cannot cope with the demand for a single room.

Frankly speaking for TMC, if I am paying the same amount of $$ for the renovated and unrenovated rooms, so why can't I have a choice? So another plan that has become unstuck and back to the musing board.

Oh and the hubby complained that I never discuss with him about going for natural now and the change of mind in hospital. Well, I'm blogging it my dear, and if you are too busy to read this, what makes you think you won't be too busy to listen to my musings? =)

Before I forget, WE FINALLY HAVE THE FIRST PICTURE OF THE BABY!!!! Dr Y asked, "Oh none at all? Not even the 1st trimester?" We chorused, "NO!!!" I'll post it up later when hubby has gotten around to taking a picture for me.

The discomfort of a very comfortable baby

I'm not sure how she's curled up in me but it's sure uncomfortable for me. It has been like this for the past few days and it's simply not fun to stand or walk.

My colleagues have told me to coax her gently by talking to her and rubbing my belly. I've tried the method - I guess it only works if she's awake and not zzZzzzZ away.

For now, I just hope the discomfort doesn't increase. Tomorrow it's the routine visit to Dr Y and We'll see how she's lying (I suspect sideways!) and how much she has grown. Frankly speaking, I feel I have lost weight, even my double chin looks smaller - all this despite my Coke chugging habit/ craving.

My appetite has also changed - I tend to prefer soupy stuff now. All the fried and spicy stuff is giving me heartburn *sob* and if I take something really heavy for lunch, I'll prob burp out sometime at 7 or 8 in the evening. To begin with, I already have a weak disgestive system.

What I am looking forward to though, is my first pre-natal massage. I called up after seeing an advert in the magazine and for 50 minutes of massage, I pay $48 (applicable only for 1st timer). Sounds like a good deal and a good way to relax (I can snore my way through a 50 min foot massage too!). I guess it's time to pamper myself a little, before the harsh reality of sleeplessness sets in.

Only 3 months to go ... I'll panic over the weekend and stress my hubby too, if I'm in the mood. I'm actually planning to go and get a facial done on Saturday *wink*

The N word or C word?

Wondering why I suddenly had a change of mind again? to consider Natural Birth, since I was so strongly advocating for C Section.

Well, partly it had to do with a family conversation with my sister and my sister-in-law (sil for short). My sis had to go through C section because she had a low lying placenta. However, she encouraged me to go for natural because after the op, it's when all the pain starts and plus having to carry a urine bag around. The way she describe how the urine bag is attached is pretty gross! Then my sil said, actually I should try for natural first, but if it's not possible, then go for C section. I recalled reading somewhere that some mothers want to go alnatural but because of some complications, they had to under C section and they were so devastated by it. Hmmm, makes sense actually. So I guess I will try natural birthing, but will opt for C section (I wonder if I will jump at the offer at the slightest excuse) if need be. I know for sure, if I had to be induced for labour for whatever reason, then I'm going for C section.

Anyway I'm due to see Dr Y this Thurs and we'll see what happens. For all I know, after having to do the blood glucose test, I'll be screaming my head off and refusing to think about natural birth again. It could well go back to square one!

After all, we can plan for everything, but not everything will turn out as planned.

And oh er, baby is in her 26th week, or I have about 3 months to go before the EDD. It's starting to scare me a little :P I still have yet to find a maid and a confinement lady *argh*

are you going to give birth soon?

That's it - first I get people commenting that I am carrying twins, then not 1 but 2 shop sales assistant got very worried and asked me "Are you going to give birth soon?"

 

I got a bit crossed but i replied humourously, "I hope not! I'm not due till 3 months later!" Then I patted my tummy and go, "Not now ok?"

 

Then as usual they all went, "But you are so big already!" Yes I know, but I'm not about to snap back "Yes, about 99 other people told me so already!" I just smile.

 

Apparently I take after my mother, who was according to the legend, as huge as me when she was carrying her first child, my eldest sister, June. So I got this part of the genetic heritage right but none of my sisters had pig trotters feet like me! *sob* Maybe I should find out what else happened in the legend - for example, if she had a 25 hour labour period, no way am I going to consider natural birth!

 

Talking about that, I am now considering natural birth again - still without epidural if possible, but I have no idea. All the best plans can be scuttled if the little one in me doesn't cooperate or my body refuses to respond to my needs. So ... I guess back to the drawing board - we can have plan A, B C or even D if necessary, since things always don't go as planned. It's getting hard to turn in bed now, it actually hurts to sleep on my back! So I am beginning to feel the urgency and the pending arrival of the little one. I hope I don't go into the panic mode anytime soon.

The Big Foot

Not the Abominable Snowman's feet, but mine =(

I hadn't realise how BIG it had swell up to until I was waddling down the stairs on my way home. My feet felt "funny" so I look a look and I was so horrified. It's so swollen even flexing my toes felt strange. I had never seen it so huge before and I guess it's off to bed early for me and resting with my feet up on a cushion, as much as I dislike doing that. Probably need to persuade my hubby to give a foot massage and hopefully I'll get around to going to Traquility Cove to get a proper foot massage.

I guess it means I would have time to read up on the checklist for the hospital bag. Tomorrow's the last day of Robinson's preview sale so hopefully I can get something worthwhile. Just hope my feet won't be as swollen else I will have difficulty moving around.

Prioritising my Priorities

I know I should be getting ready for items in my nursery and my hospital bag - I already have the checklist from TMC as well as one from MotherCare. But, I seriously haven't look at it yet.

My part time maid is a lot more organised than me - she made me put all my baby stuff together so I can take stock as and when I need to and she organised them in piles - clothing, disposables stuff and "equipment". So next thing is once I've gathered the necessary clothing, it's time to wash them before packing them into the bag. I did some shopping for mittens and socks, but that's about it :P

I'll post up the list once I've actually gone through it.

So what have I done so far? Er, hehe I've actually shortlisted the company I am going to order my baby full month's cakes from. I know it's VERY VERY early, but it's something positive for me to focus on other than the scary thought of giving birth. I've more or less decided on www.sweetestmoments.com.sg - I like the packaging and the pricing is quite reasonable. Plus I am a FBI card holder hehehe.

The weakest link - the bladder

It hadn't happen for sometime already, but since I've forgotten repeatedly to do the exercise, I guess I was looking for trouble =(

 

So what is the "it" that I'm referring to? It's the leakage of the bladder when I sneeze or cough or even have the urge to hurl. Today was particularly bad since I was in the office when I choked on a pineapple tart. Needless to say, I had some floor cleaning to do, just lucky that no one noticed where the drops of liquid came from (it happened along the corridor *sigh*).

 

Anyway back to exercising or wearing maxi pads to work =(

Restless baby ...

She isn't kicking hard but she's just restless it seems, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. I just hope she doesn't get this restless when she grows bigger in the 3rd trimester!

Went down to TMC and signed up for the FBI (1st born incentives) and antenatal class. The FBI membership came with a goodie bag and I've yet to rummage through what's in it. After that, I wanted to go for my foot massage too (right foot starting to swell again) but we have a huge pile of laundry waiting for us at home, so let's not waste the sun while it shines brightly I guess.

I ordered this Pregnany Belly Salve, in place of the jojoba oil I've been using on my tummy. I thought it might be less messy but let's see how good it is. It's suppose to be organic too, which may be a good idea since my thighs are still prone to rashes.

showing off the belly

Today I finally had the chance to go swimming and since I didn't buy any maternity swinwear, I had the perfect excuse to wear my bikini! I only wore it once when I was at Bintan and never quite had the courage to proudly flaunt my fats at the pool.

Lucky that my bikini fit! My bust seems a bit overwhelming for the top, but it managed to cover the vital parts perfectly and without exposing to much of the fair skin.

However, the pool was COLD ... and I took more than 15 minutes to finally accept the cold, but nevertheless, was still COLD. I didn't really swim, since I was having tummy twitches which made it quite hard to swim. So I made my hubby walk across the pool while I hung from his shoulders. It was still quite nice, since floating in the pool made me forget how clumsy I am become for a while. But *sigh* once I had to get out of the pool, I felt like an elephant =( Basking in the sun for 5 minutes while waiting for my hubby to complete his "exercise" made me feel quite good though.

There was a baby boy "swimming" in the pool with his parents, and he must have enjoyed himself. He was giggling and laughing when I went into the pool, and by the time I was basking in the sun, he was fast asleep on his father's shoulder (well wrapped in a towel).

The swim was a good break from the "spring cleaning" we were doing. Actually we were just trying to relocate the computers to another section of the house but it's quite a major exercise, considering that I'm not helping with the shifting of the furniture. I could only helped to pack the barang and relocate them to another corner. Now, I am just staring at the pile on the floor. It's suppose to be an weekend to rest and to catch up with some office work, but it's more like a rampage through the china store and now having to pick up all the pieces.

*yawn* I think I'll take a quick nap first before continuing with the cleanup operation.

baby's a belly drumming!

Yup! I finally felt her moving in my tummy! My suspicions are right - it is her who is making my tummy go "bump"! I thought it was my funny breathing (my lungs are starting to complain about the lack of space) but it shouldn't make my belly button go "bump" suddenly. I was too busy at work to really take note anyway, so last night I put my hands on my bulge and talked to her. She responded with 3 bumps and she sullenly refused to entertain my hubby who came into the room later.

Then in the middle of the night, I was awoken by my hubby who couldn't sleep. So I told him, "Ok you can put your hands on my tummy and see if she will entertain you." She did! She responded with a series of 7 rapid bumps then she stopped. She's probably wanting her sleep too! I just hope she won't be too active in the night during the last trimester! There's no pain involved, in fact I would say I didn't feel any sensation unless I put my hands on my tummy. I'll probably be more aware later on but right now, it's a really a undescribable feeling. I'll say it's making me feel more like a mum-to-be, something a lot more tangible and real ;)

Oh no! Is it PUPPP???

PUPPP stands for Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy. It's basically a rash that only afflicts 1% of the pregnant women. While not harmful to mother and baby, it's aparently very annoying. Just read the description in She Said/ He Said - it's enough to scare me for every red dot that appears on my skin.

I have a patch of rashes on my right thigh, it's not the usual welts but raised bumps that look like pimples and my left thigh is starting to have some too. While I suspect it could be due to dry skin (but I've been rubbing it with some cream or oil every night!) but I'm monitoring it and see if it spreads. So far the itch is still controllable, so I don't really think it's PUPPP (which incidentally suppose to start sometime in the last trimester or so).

I'm just wringing my hands but it could well be brought on by stress as well - I remember my scalp breaking out in pimple like rashes everytime I am stressed over work or studies.

I thought I felt my tummy going "bump!" today when I was lying in bed this morning - I didn't really feel anything but since my hands were on my tummy, I felt the movement! Was baby trying to play with mummy? OoOoo coochi coochi!

Update on the leg cramps

For those fellow sufferers, the "stretching" exercise I do before sleep really helps! So whatever position I'm sleeping in, I really don't get cramps anymore.

So the best tip for how to prevent leg cramps during pregnancy, get your partner to help to push to feet down and up, about 10 sets and count to 5 for every up and every down. So far it works for me!

And if you are thinking about foot reflexology, do try this lady at Tranquility Cove (at Thomson Plaza). Ask for Lisa and tell her you are preggie and if you experiencing leg cramps or water retention. By the way, they only do it if you are over 5 months - so endure if you still have some way to go before hitting the 5th month mark. Pamper your feet!

Christmas Galore!

Christmas was well, Christmas. Only had 2 last minute gifts to buy but was promptly solved within 30 minutes. Not much wrapping to do as this year I opted to use gift bags instead. I had purchased or gathered my stock of Christmas gifts by late November, so we could afford not to panic last minute and wringe our hands in buying the "perfect gifts" at the 23rd hour. As usual, the "hard" choices are for the men - I mean how many pens, belts, wallets do they need? This year we "tried" to solve it by trying to buy useful gifts like namecard holders (Tangs has some pretty nice ones!) but in the end, we gave up and just grabbed whatever was available for "men" at body shop.

The rest, the kids were the easiest, just that I keep changing my mind what to give them (so end up I had excess presents which I could use for someone else' kids birthdays). I managed to get hold of this really nice looking jewellery box at a decent price and that was for my mum. Perfect in that sense she can keep all the pieces we had bought for her over the years! The rest, well, I'll just shop according to whatever insipration hits me. Afterall I'm preggie, and I really don't enjoy shopping as a past time.

As for the gifts we got, some were stuff I really wanted (like towels - don't ask me why I am 'craving' for new towels) and the 'super nanny' book which someone thoughtfully gave my hubby! We also got the "what to expect" book for the first year - I should just ask my hubby to memorise those 2 books! Usual items like chocolates, clothes, and unusual items LED ear digger (which had my hubby raving over and asking me to dig his ears in the midding of the night!).

As for what I got from hubby? I purchased a pendant for myself (on his behalf) and at the same time, purchased a ring with an embedded diamond for him. He has been saying he wants a diamond ring ever since he got me the almost 1/2 carat diamond ring, so I thought what better excuse to buy myself another pendant I fancy (not expensive - less than $100!) and to keep him happy? After all he gets a diamond ring! But guess what, he was still raving non stop about the ear digger - so I asked him, "does that mean before I offered to clean your ears, you had been deprived of this pleasure for your entire life??"

Anyway baby had an early start to Christmas too! We now have 1 baby tee shirt courtesy of Dumex (I think) and a bib from Mamil (I think too) from the goodie bag they gave out during the TMC tour. My friend also bought a muslim receiving blanket for her!

My hubby was "nice enough" to agree to let me spend $100 on the Sharity food hampers. I didn't really get to go shopping so I had no chance to drop some money into the salvation army's can. But soon enough, when I can twist his arm to clear some of his old clothes (as in piece he cannot fit into but are BRAND NEW), hopefully they will go to someone who really needs them and not hoard them for the sake of hoarding ;P

Site visit for choice #1 completed

Made a trip to TMC on Saturday and I was quite disappointed. The nicely renovated 4th floor is not the maternity ward. The maternity wards are not scheduled to be renovated until sometime next year or so.

Apparently they had too many maternity patients hence they cannot afford to renovate the maternity wards yet. DUH! Whoever did the planning ought to be shot - because maternity patients make up the bulk of your patients, shouldn't you think of them first?!?!!?!? So we become lower priority so they can milk all the cash they can. The un-renovated floor is quite BAD ... the double room is dingy and dark, something I HATE. The tiolet? *sigh* Lousy is hardly the word to describe it. Anyway I asked, so could we request for the 4th floor rooms, not because it's only nicer, the rooms are MUCH brighter - something that is very important to me. They say they will try to accede to requests so I guess, that's depending on luck then. Can you imagine, being in pain and trying to deal with motherhood in a dark dingy room? As if we don't have to deal with enough factors to trigger off any post-partum depression. I may sound a bit extreme, but you are holding your bundle of your joy in your arms, but the room is not brightly lit enough for you to enjoy the imagined glow of sunray around her head. You are in pain and you have to use a run down tiolet. It's enough to make me want to consider other places with nicer tiolets and brighter rooms. I'll just pay more.

The nicest room with the nicest tiolets are of couse the VIP Suite - It's really very nice, like a hotel suite! Going at $700 plus a day and not being packaged in their delivery packages, the final bill can be quite substantial! Should I work my charms on my hubby? Or should I just hope I can strike some 4D or Toto prizes that are big enough to cover the bills?

Apart from the miserable unrenovated rooms, I do like the nurses at TMC and I like the fact their carpark offers valet services, in comparison to other hospitals I've come across. Ah well, I guess I still have TIME to decide right?

I'll sleep on for now and fret about signing up for the antenatal classes first.

Baby's 540 grams!

Went for the appointment with Dr Y yesterday and first thing he remarked, "Oh you look quite good! Not as tired as before!" Of course, with all the vomitting and frequent peeing in the night all behind me now, I am doing very well. The holiday I had was fantastic, with good food, good wine, my favourite - DisneySea and good company!

 

I am eating very well now, basically I can eat my usual stuff and no cravings for strange stuff or things I always dislike - other than Coke. I also like watermelon and watermelon juice A LOT (my TCM says it's ok to take watermelon!).

 

I told Dr Y about the leg cramps and he instructed my hubby to help me stretch my legs before I sleep every night *YIPEEE* Great excuse to request for a massage at the same time haha! He did remind me to take my calcium tablets or drink 2 full glasses of milk each day and he was almost pleading with me to take my iron supplements. He said my blood count is a bit on the low side and I would really need to take the iron supplement at least once a day or once every alternate day. Oh well, no escaping anymore I guess so my routine should be changed to:

 

Morning

2 cups of fresh milk

2 X fish oil capsules

2 X ginseng/ cordycep capsules

 

Night

1 X iron capsule

2 X fish oil capsules

2 X ginseng/ cordycep capsules

a swig of my multi vits syrup

 

I know it's not a lot of things to take but I keep forgetting and my hubby _doesn't_ bother to remind me either (you read this!?!?!?).

 

So how's my baby girl doing? She's good, very active, although I still _cannot_ really feel her kicking (I take it positively because otherwise I'll be yelping away in public), and she has shifted her position - her head is now at the lower part of my uterus. If that is really the case, this girl is a head banger based on the minor pangs I felt!

 

She now weighs in at 540grams, a middle weight. Her size is normal (yes still normal, I forgot to ask what would then be the expected size at delivery) and her tummy is a really cute round thingy - like a ball! I actually laughed when I saw her tummy. Dr Y was saying, the rounder, the bigger/ heavier the baby. Anyway at this stage, how we know her weight? They measure the size of her tummy (cross section) as well as the length of her thigh bone, and viola, they arrive at the weight.

 

Then I brought up the subject of Caesarian birth and Dr Y was asking "Are you really sure? Don't you even want to try?" So I told him all the horror stories I've heard and read: 1) about the cervix not being able to dilate - have to go for caesarian eventually 2) even if the cervix can dilate but not enough, there will be cervix tear and they need to sew me up. He went, "Yeah, that's true, but are you sure you really don't want to try? Anyway we still have 3.5 months to decide the delivery method so we can always discuss later!"

 

If I really want to try for natural birth (if I even have the guts for it!) then I should be starting on the yoga plus pelvic floor exercises real soon *sigh*

 

And oh, we forgot to ask for the baby's picture and Dr Y forgot to print out for us =( To date we still have no pictures of baby at all!

 

 

 

 

And the cramps are on!

Not exactly the most pleasant feeling - I wake up in the middle of the night trying to grab my hubby's arms to squeeze while trying not to scream in pain - Yes the leg cramps have started!

 

It would typically start from the left leg for about 20 to 30 seconds then move on to the right leg for another 20 to 30 seconds - meanwhile I'll be grabbing my hubby's arms and going " Cramps! Cramps! OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

 

Last night was particularly bad: 3 times. Twice with both legs and once only the left leg but doubling the time and intensity of pain. So much so that my left leg's calf muscles are still sore and achy.

 

Medically speaking, cramps occur due to lack of body salt - but it doesn't explain why pregnant ladies have leg cramps.

 

Among the sites I've surfed and the "facts" gleaned from them, the typical reasons are 1) due to additional body weight the legs have to carry around 2) sleeping position affects the bloodflow to the legs (so it's a very rude sort of wake-up call to adjust sleeping position?) 3) no idea why.

 

The best solution for the above? Sleep on the sides, not the back, and the best position really is on the left because it allows the maximum/ optimal blood circulation for the body. Oh why on sides, you ask? Apparently, by sleeping on the back, the uterus (with the baby and water bag and the lot) may compress some major veins for blood circulation, hence it is NOT good to do so. Strangely though, as much as I try to sleep on my sides now, I usually find myself sleeping on my back (most comfortable position for now even though I am usually a side sleeper).

 

So I guess I will have to spend money on the foot reflexology - not that I mind, really, it's really a good excuse to help relieve my swollen legs and it lets me have a really good night worth of sleep!

Ok - EDD reminder

Got around to create a baby ticker from a site that has pretty nifty checklists for various events - hospital bag and nursery room were 2 specific ones I was looking at.

Anyway, here's the ticker



Hopefully nearer to the expected date that I SHOULD be ready, I can start panicky in a slightly more timely and organised way.

List of Things to do

1) Go on site visit of the hospitals - decide which one to do delivery in

2) Start looking for a stroller and baby car seat - as a set if possible

3) Comfortable nightgowns in case the hospital don't provide them

4) Stock up on diapers, diaper cream, diaper wipes and if possible, diaper changing table

5) BOTTLES! TEATS! Breast pump possibly and nursing pads

6) Hospital bag for delivery - search for items to put inside

 

Ready! Get Set! .... er so soon?

I've been fending off queries by well meaning friends - are you ready? have you bought the stuff? have you decided where to deliver? have you????

It's more stressful than anything else, because at this stage 1) I'm still coming to terms that I'm going to give birth to a baby sometime next year 2) my EDD still SEEMS so far off 3) besides I still have 1 more month than the rest to gather my thoughts and plan.

Anyhow, I've started sms-ing with my swollen digits (yes, water retention) to relatives and friends and ask them if they have anything to lend to me for the coming arrival. Very often, they will ask what I need? My reply is always the same, "What do I need?" Really, I think they should have guidebooks on these things - "How to prepare for the arrival of a baby for new parents and surviving the ordeal."

I been asking my hubby to ask his friend, but in the end, I asked him myself and thankfully his wife agreed to help me out. I told him I really have no idea what I need - I only know I can get 1 baby cot, some baby clothes and that's about it? I have a baby sling coming courtesy of a free gift and I am supposed to buy a stroller with a deatchable car seat.

The only thing I'm certain of, I am opting for a Caesarian birth. Why? Pain has a few effects on me - 1) I just go limp 2) I throw up 3)I won't cooperate so the best thing is just to knock me out with GA so that the docs and nurses just do whatever they need to do with my FULL cooperation and I wake up in pain but all the blood and gore is over.

Anyhow, I still have TIME, lots of it at this current moment, to think about it all the preparation and birth plan stuff. Just let me enjoy my festive meals and holidays without killing my grey matter for now.

Nap attack!

As popularised by Garfield, nap attacks are an very convenient way to describe the sudden wave of yawns and the urge to sleep.

I hadn't had the nap attacks for quite a while but it has recently returned again. For example, we had a mini party for my hubby's colleagues on Friday evening - was to be a BBQ but well you know the weather, so it's frantic cooking - microwave, oven and the stovetop. By the time I gave up, I was so HOT and I was quite worried about baby geting overheated. It was maybe 9plus? then I started yawning. By 11pm I was quite dead to the world - just leave my hubby to do the minimal cleanup and thankful that my part-time maid requested to switch to come on Saturday morning instead of Sunday morning.

Then Saturday evening, we had another gathering for my hubby, this time his ex classmates. Wasn't so bad since it's pot luck and all I made was potato salad. So we were chatting and eating around the table. We were fussing over his classmate baby, a very adorable 3 month old girl. Then by 10pm I told my hubby I wanted to rest (started to yawn my head off) and I snuck into the bedroom. Before long, I was snoring (I knew because I woke myself up with my snores) and I slept throughout till this morning 9am.

And now? It's going to be 10pm and I'm starting to yawn my head off. Ok it's really bedtime for me. I can hardly keep my eyes open. I just hope I don't get the nap attacks during work tomorrow! Otherwise I'll be a zombie starting blankly at the piles of papers on my desk.

Oh oh! I almost forgot. I went to see my TCM and she declared my baby was growing well and all the vital signs are healthy. How do I feel? Great! I also bought bird nests to cook and my first attempt is pretty decent. Just not as good as what I used to eat at my mum's place. Practise practise practise (good excuse eh)!

Green eye monster rearing its ugly head

I'm not particularly a possessive person, not an insecure one.

 

However, with the hormones raging and the bloating of the bump and feet starts, insecurity and emotionally neediness starts to creep in. My hubby may be changing boss and it's going to be a female one. I've seen her picture and she's quite pretty - I would say a few years older than us both at most. So i asked him, "Aren't you worried I may get jealous?" He looked surprised and asked "Why? She's married and she even remembers who you are?" "Well, you know, they always show on TV and movies, happily married people can have affairs with colleagues and superiors too!" HE LAUGHED and exclaimed," You watch too much TV!" *GRRRRR*

 

*sigh* But I'm growing bigger by the day, my feet and ankles look like pig trotters and I look haggard most of the times - would he get sick of me and look to some greener pastures? I guess the temptation is always out there and I should be trusting him - but like I said, with the hormones raging and the percieved ugliness factor of pregnancy sets in (I'm definitely not some glam mum to be), it's hard to feel on top of the world and confident.

 

Well I must say I'm not totally at fault - he's not giving me enough attention or TLC. Like I was telling someone, the baby will probably be closer to my dogs than him!

Big Foot and other what nots

As the bump grows bigger and my feet increase in shoe size (just went up by 2 sizes to 38), the reality begins to sink in. A few months later I'll be having to feed, burp, bath and change diapers a screaming baby *cringe* and I'll still be waddling around in my maternity clothes. It's kinda scary actually - what did I get myself into?!?!

 

I just went to get new bras, now I'm 38/ 85B - still B cup just that my girth has expanded quite a bit and it's quite a pain to wear my usual ones. Underwear er, no change, since the bikini strings one still fits quite ok and accomodates my bump.

 

The other day, I got 5 pairs of new shoes/ slippers - 2 pairs of slip on flats with RUBBER SOLES, 1 pair of semi sporty looking one with RUBBER SOLES, 1 pair of low heels (1.5 inches) of slip on shoes for dinners (wedding dinners a ringing) (I can't fit inot my usual ones, tight and I can't walk on 3 inches anymore) and 1 pair of slippers with nice thick soles. Why slippers? Er the last pair i have to flip flop around in is partially chewed up, so I'm not sure how long the straps will hold. Your Tevas asked my hubby? Already long incinerated - shows how much he remembers about me asking to buy a new pair of Tevas as replacement.

 

In addition I went shopping for more tops! Actually just 4 tops which I can use for working since most of the others that I have is strappy or strapeless - I don't have that many strapless bras I can use! Then I got my first maternity dress! I may get more because this morning I had difficulty in putting on my maternity pants - though very unlikely because pants are a lot more comfortable to move around in.

 

So how many weeks is the baby in now? I've kinda lost count - I'm not really keeping count anymore. I just know the EDD and I'm still trying to swallow all my supplements - fish oil (the burps stink), calcium (yucks), iron (keep forgetting), folic acid (er missing?), multi vitamin syrup (easy, just take a swig from the bottle every morning) and the ginseng/ cordyceps pills (prescribed by the TCM for the first trimester but I only got around to taking it now because I simply cannot swallow any pills/ tablets then). I'm supposed to cut down on my Coke/ Pepsi with salt cravings, and similarly my lust for watermelon fruit or watermelon juice - I guess in everything, moderation is the key.

 

My mum is worried though - I can't seem to feel the baby kicking or moving but I did read that fat people (me, that is) usually have a harder time feeling it. So the guessing game is still on, is it the baby or is it not. Let see how big the baby has grown on my Japanese food binge for 1.5 weeks - I think I'm due for an appointment with Dr Y next week. 

Did I mention that I seem to be missing some part of my brains too? Starting to be super forgetful.

So the baby has a mind of its own ...

OK the baby wins ... during breakfast i felt very lethargic and very tired ... so we decided to stay in the hotel room to rest today ... didn't venture out except to get lunch and to get my fav dessert ... ah well ... I guess if baby needs me to rest and take it easy, I have to ... afterall we are kinda sharing 1 body now ...

The growing bump

Week: 20

 

It's scary that the bump (hat is the entire tummy area including the baby) is growing so rapidly and so HUGE ... my hubby keeps scaring me that it's because the baby is a huge one ... so far the doctor has said that the baby is growing at the normal rate normal size (remind me to ask him what he means by NORMAL).

 

It could be also water retention but localised at the tummy area is that possible? Everything else seems normal, just that I've been eating quite a quite bit over the last few days andthe double chin seems to be filling out a little bit more *sigh* Still I'm glad to be enjoying my food ... and not suffering from indigestion or whatever.

 

Anyway, it's time to go out soon and enjoy the sights (yes, I'm on a well deserved holiday!) with the baby in tow (or rather inside me). I hope baby shares the same taste in food as me!

 

 

 

 

Being emotional again

I had to drop off my 2 miniature schnauzers at my mum's place last night, as I am preparing to go for my trip. We had yet to do the packing and plus all the last minute errands to run, we decided to drop them off 1 day ahead of schedule so that we won't forget to bring along all their necessities to my mum's place.

 

Then we were preparing to leave, the puppy realised that we were going off without them! The older dog were happily fussing around his favourite people inside the house. So she started whining and as we moved off, she ran alongside the fence. I felt so bad leaving her behind! Yes, I almost cried but still, the number of folks to fuss over them while we were gone is aplenty. I consoled myself that she's just going to miss us for that little while. However, that moment she dashed out of the gate when she saw that we were preparing to leave made me felt like I was abandoning her!

 

I miss being woken up by their whines this morning and no dogs to fuss around when I got up to bathe and do the routine morning stuff. I miss having her sneaking up and snuggle up to my feet when we are fast asleep and I miss having her put her head on my lap and giving me the pitiful look when I order her off the bed.

 

I think motherhood is going to be a tough road ahead!

*ouch* is that the baby?

The baby is somewhere near to my belly button now. Dr Y pointed out yesterday the areas which could be the baby kicking and the areas not. At least now I'm making a much more educated guess when and where is the baby kicking.

 

How does it feel? Er ... I am not sure how to describe it ... little twitches felt from the inside? I've seen how she's moving and kicking away during the scans, but I've not really felt anything then. However, since now I know where's her head positioned and her butts and legs are, I guess I can blame it on her *hehe*

 

It feels ... a little strange but nice *smile* It's a very gentle reminder to me that I should remember to coo and pat my belly once in a while, instead of focusing on the tasks at hand.

The morning has broken and the wait is over!

Today I went for the detailed scan and it's confirmed a girl! So let's all bring out the pink poms poms and I can start planning her first month celebrations decor already!

 

The lady today was very quiet and I almost fell asleep while she was doing the scan. We had to ask what is this and what is that before she explains. Definitely prefer the other lady who was much faster and interactive.

 

After the 1 hour scan was done, we had a quick lunch then we headed for our appointment with Dr Y. Then he announced that they just faxed him the results that very morning (i saw the timestamp - while we were doing the scan) and we are clear! Baby is ok and she weighs currently 300grams.

 

The word is "relief" and I guess I can sleep much better tonight :)

Giving thanks for

So what do I have to give thanks for this Thanksgiving?

1. A hubby who has gradually grown more willing and accomodating to my needs - emotionally and physically

2. Despite all the scares we had, baby is still very actively kicking in me

3. Supportive family, friends and colleagues (for those in the know)

4. A new diamond ring [we got it at 50% discount - which while bigger than my engagment/ proposal ring, is CHEAPER... then again, we didn't spend much on the proposal ring anyway - remember this, diamonds are pretty worthless once you have bought them, they have almost zero investment value, which unless you have a rare and extremely huge one (in hundreds of carat)!]

5. A nice obgyn, who is accomodating to quite a hysterical patient

6. My 2 loving pets who adores me, despite my changing apperance

7. The fallout with GAP.com, which allowed me to buy nicer and cheaper maternity clothes at OldNavy.com (which incidentally fits pretty well and comfortable to wear)

8. Enough money, which well, you look at it, it's never really enough, but I'm glad for a stable income, a roof over my head and a tiny savings account, which is growing very slowly

9. The ability to eat about anything I used to eat without having to purge at the smell of cooking or preparation

10. God

My first thanksgiving feast

Hubby and I decided to indulge in a bit of feasting when we chanced upon the Marriot's Christmas brochure. We were trying to decide between the Thanksgiving and Christmas buffet, but the deciding factor was quite obvious. The Thanksgiving buffet was supposed to offer yummy dishes that I can eat - baby shelled lobster and cajun lamb, versus fresh oyster which I love.

Ah well - such is the little sacrifices I have to make for the little one inside me.

Anyway, ours was the post Thanksgiving buffet, since we went on the Saturday lunch buffet (Thanksgiving was on thursday - every last thursday of November). We did a little shopping and managed to get gifts for 2 male members for the family, achieving a 90% completion rate for the Christmas present buying! Then we strolled over to the hotel lobby, got our seats and waited for the buffet to start. To my lovely surprised, the waitress gave me a cushion for my back! I was so impressed! She came by a few times to check on us, and obviously she's a familiar face to the guest of hotel since she took trouble to greet quite a number of them although she wasn't serving their table. Just because of her service, it made the dining experience a truly wonderful one for me. Her name is Maidusrah I think, I was trying to stare at her name tag, but my eyesight is not as good as it used to be ;P

Anyway back to the buffet - the baby lobster and the cajun lamb was definitely missing *sigh* In it's place is cold prawns and roast beef. I think I ate about 12 to 16 prawns, very happily, since I didn't get any of the usual allergic reactions! I had 1 slice of the roast beef, which they kindly browned it for me (it was very pink) and it was simply delicious. The rest of the food - pretty decent fare, plus the usual great desserts they have. The cauliflower and corn soup (cream of) was a letdown though - bland and tasteless. Overall, a very satisfying lunch, accompanied by the BEST service I had in a LOOOONNNGGG while. Certainly the money paid for the buffet was well spent, since most of the time I hardly think I ate enough or the service gotten was worth the price. Maybe being pregnant isn't all that sucky afterall!

Er, just how much I ate? Enough not to eat dinner, and not to go to bed hungry ;P

Dollar and the peace of mind

I couldn't take it. I called up the clinic again today and bugged them. I said I would had expected the rapid results be given since no one asked us if we wanted it. Since I was going back for a detailed scan, to me know how much I had to top up for the rapid results. I just don't want to wait anymore!

They said they will get back to me, so I'm still *waiting* and *waiting* and *waiting*

*argh*

Hubby's QuoteS of the Day

My hubby never fails to amaze me.

Hubby's Quote 1: Upon learning that the baby is now learning to swallow

"Why is the baby drinking it's own urine??!?"

Hubby's Quote 2: After a thoughtful pause during lunch

"Will the baby doing big business in there too?"

I wonder what will he come up with next when I tell him about the "cheesy" covering the baby now *ponder*

And the wait is on ...

Apparently Dr Y didn't order a rapid results for us... Got my hubby to call them this morning and they said they will remind the medical centre when we go for a detailed scan next week.

If Dr Y only asked for the full report, that will take up to 3 weeks before the results are given.
I'm going to binge on nutella soon - I'm starting to get really stressed over this *argh*

The agony in waiting ... *sigh*

To wish upon a star ...

Can you hear me
all the way up there
when I whisper to you softly
my hopes, my dreams, my wishes?

Can you see me
in your blinding light
when I sit under the dark skies
in solitude, in sadness, in pain?

Can you feel what I feel
in your burning heat
when my heart starts to crack
into pieces, into fragments, into slivers?

One hope, one wish, one dream to grant
One heart, one soul waits
in tears, in solitude, and ...
in vain?

the wait ...

I'm still waiting for the results of the amniocentesis. It's getting on my nerves. On the brochure, it was stated that a rapid test results will be available within 3 to 4 days. It's almost a week (today is the 6th day since the procedure) since and there's no news at all.

In this case, it's not no news is good news. I just want to know and get over with.

Fatigue, Vomitting and Cramps

Geez, I think I am really finally beginning to feel the effects of the amniocentesis. I've been so tired for the past 1 day, that I'm sleeping close to 14 hours a day now. I guess that my body is also feeling the effects of the increased hormones - been puking quite a bit, something that I hadn't been doing for almost close to 1 month! The lower abdomen is still very tight, so movements, stretching is quite a pain literally, and trying to find a position to sleep comfortably can be quite frustrating.

We did go to Ikea yesterday, we went early at 10 plus and wow, it's simply great because all the crowds probably moved to the Tampines Ikea (well kinda bad for the one at Alexandra then). We didn't have to queue to get into the carpark, didn't have to circle to find a lot, and we could stroll into the cafe, get our food and then pick almost any seats we wanted. By the time we were finally done with our brunch, the crowds were coming into the cafe - based on "excuse me is the table taken?" and the snaking queue to get the food.

We went downstairs and got some Christmas wrapping paper, bags and some other knick knacks - forgot to get some christmas ornaments I was eyeing though =( All in all, it was really very exhausting for me. I did remember the nurse telling me no shopping for the 3 days, but it's the 4th day and I did rest quite a bit in bed already! By the time we reach home, I was walking mini steps S-L-O-W-L-Y. And I almost had to crawl to bed, I was that tired! So now I know why 3 days of MC plus the weekend to recover - one lesson learnt!

Now, I just want to get over the vomitting part, still a few more days before I complete the course of medication *sigh*

New news about amniocentesis

Baby: Week 18

I was reading off the MSNBC website about this model who died from some infection due to aneroxia (*gasp* she weighed only 40kg at 1.72m) when this article headline caught my attention: "Amniocentesis doesn't raise miscarriage rate"

The full article is available at: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15755732/

Does it make me feel better? Slightly, at least not so pessimistic. Not to say I'm recovering fast and well - a sneeze and a cough brought on excruciating pain in my abdomen. It's like having really very tight muscles and then force to stretch it suddenly. All I was doing was doing deep breathing in the corpse position to try to fall asleep. Hmmm, the only good thing was, I didn't wet the bed ;P

Hubby's Quote of the Day

When told that the fluid drawn is the "baby's urine" (the amniotic fluid), he turned and asked me,"why is the baby swimming in urine?"

the ZzZZz monster ...

is not around. Yup, I actually am having difficulty trying to sleep.

I can't sleep on my left side, my hips hurt. I tried switching to the other side, no luck, both sides ache too. Sleep on my back? *sigh* same old thing.

Hubby is happily snoring away - despite him proclaiming he's not sleepy when I shooed him to bed past midnight, he begun his deep breathing ritual shortly hitting the pillow. Yes, his snorts and restless limbs syndrome kicked in shortly too.

So what am I doing? other than indulging the doggies a little more time out of their sleeping area (they are banished to sleep in the kitchen till we sort out the ticks problem - just applied Frontline Top Spot on them this evening), I am wondering what to do. Should I play warcraft (or will the violence upset the baby?) or should I play some online games (b-o-r-i-n-g) or, or, I don't know - a glass of pepsi (just had the urge) with a sprinkling of salt soothe my thrist a little but I'm craving for even more iced water. How am I going to rid of my cough!

Oh well, I guess I should just practise my deep breathing techniques in the corpse position - that might help. Afterall, I did fall asleep during the yoga class doing that ;P

Taking things slowly and guessing baby's gender

Must remember this piece of advice ... the nurses cautioned me to walk slowly, no shopping, no housework that involves heavy stuff ... so walking is a pain, not because it's painful, but I have to remember to do it S-L-O-W-L-Y ...

I feel slightly better today, enough to venture downstairs for some morning breeze, but there's this constant nagging "pinching" sensation at my side to remind me to take it easy.

Oh ya, anyway remember the 75% girl thingy? I was already commenting to my husband previously, based on the shape of my belly, it's quite likely to be a girl. The women at my mum's household, on hearing that everything taste sweet to me (including savoury food) said it's very likely to be a girl. My sister claims my nose was growing bigger, so it could be a girl! *sigh* Seems like all the "mythical" ways of knowing whether it is a boy or a girl are all pretty accurate in my case. Yes, I also looked at the "ancient" calendar of predicting gender based on the mother's age and the month of conception, and it says "GIRL" too. So once the test results are out, I guess they can all use me as a poster girl as "See! I told you so!" *sigh*

The surge of the raving hormones - maybe?

I'm sure you all have read somewhere or had pregnant girlfriends telling you, how hormones make them an emotional wreck at times.

I even remembered this incident about this girlfriend, who intead of arguing, cried after her hubby chided her during a mahjong game (which apparently he does it often enough).

Me? I'm not sure ... I was crying in the car today, while listening to a song. It's not like I never heard it before, it's not like I never listen to the lyrics before (lyrics are important part of what makes a good song) but as I listened to the song, my nose just got stuffed up and tears started rolling down my face. Maybe, it had to do with I had to go through today so I shouldn't blame it on the hormones.

What song was it? Well, I'm sure you have heard of this before too:

Artist: Collin Raye
Song: If You Get There Before I Do

Lyrics

I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said boy you might not understand
But a long, long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none But I love your grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter And this is what it said

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you, love me

I read those words just hours before my grandma past away
In the door way of a church
Where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my 15 years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you, love me
Between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you, love me

Just a pin prick

It's true - that's how I would describe the pain of doing the amniocentesis test.

So, ya, I survived it, and according to the conversations Dr Y and the nurses were having (my eyes were closely shut and hands tightly clenched under my chin), apparently the baby is very kaypoh ... the 75% she actually reached out for the needle with her hands! Ya 75% because the baby kept curling up in a ball and refused to open the legs ...

I won't say it was totally painless - when the fluid was being drawn out, I could feel some discomfort like minor cramping ... after the whole ordeal was over, while I was resting at the waiting area, I could feel some contractions and minor pings of pain here and here.

So now, the real ordeal is 1) waiting for the results to be out 2) finding out if any complications arising from this procedure

So ... we can hope for the best, and leave God the rest.

What if ...

What if
The sky decide to rain on our hopes
There’s no turning back

What if
The world turns its back on us
There’s no going forth

What if
You take away my dreams
There’s no hoping for us anymore

What if
You leave us behind to mourn
There’s no stopping our tears

What if
You leave only a sliver of memories
There’s nothing left for us to grasp

Only darkness and fear
only coldness and silence

What if
only us
without you

Butterflies in the Tummy

No ... unfortunately it's not the flutters of feeling the first few movements the baby is making ... rather that's how worried and scared I am for tomorrow's procedure ...

I have almost zero tolerance for pain and the idea of a needle poking through my flash, fats and into the uterus is scaring the hell outta me. Reading those medical websites didn't really help - they did say most women report discomfort and pinching rather than pain, but the list of complications
1) infection
2) if the clincian didn't manage to draw enough fluid the first round, they have to do it again!!!!
3) if blood got into the fluid, the results may be compromised - I think it just simply meant that they have to try drawing the fluid 1 more time!
4) the risk of miscarriage
is more than enough to fill my mind with lots of "what ifs"

I also read somewhere some women say it's was a terrible and horrible and painful experience (some nasty person commented if they can't even bear with this pain, what about labour - to that nasty person "SOD YOU!")

I can't seek any comfort in all this knowledge - it's just driving me nuts.

I can only seek solace that
1) my friends and siblings will be praying for me and my baby
2) I get to send my hubby to the dentist next week as a form of revenge - since I can't possibly stick a needle into his stomach
3) God is my comforter and giver of peace

A bolt from the blue skies

Baby: Week 17

Sometimes, when everything seems to be going fine, God likes to remind us that we are still humans. His way of a gentle reminder? By sending a bolt right across the blue skies.

No, I'm not resentful towards God. Just that sometimes, when things go well, I tend to push God towards the least of priorities. I should count my blessings, despite all the scares I had, my baby is still firmly sucking nutrients off the placenta via me. I know of my friends who weren't so lucky with their first or even second pregnancy. So what I was throwing up almost non-stop on days and I couldn't take in any food nor fluids? Compared to those who had to be hospitalised and to be put on the drip, mine is considered a mild case.

So what was this reminder about? I did a blood test last week and since there was no calls from the clinic, I assumed all was well. Until, two nights I saw I had 2 missed called from the clinic. Strange, I thought to myself, did they want to change my appointment or something? I was uneasy enough not to be able to sleep till 4am that night. Next morning, I called the clinic as soon as it was opened. Well, I was unlucky that I got their worst receptionist - she's just an auntie working part time to earn a living so her personal skills are absolutely the worst. The message I got from her was that the test results came back, it was positive for Down Syndrome but negative for the rest. Great way to put it I guess, short and straight to the point. In a way, I am glad that I was on medical leave that day, so my office didn't had to witness me breaking down.

I cried for the next few hours - my sister called me from USA, my best friend called me and they both said will pray for me. I couldn't get my hubby since it was 3 am his time, and despite his claims for being a light sleeper, he snores his way through the loudest claps of thunder. Then finally my elder sister texted me a message and said, it's ok, it's normal. She reminded me that it was positive in her case too, but her kids turned out just fine (I swore that the younger one makes up senseless tuneless sounds to hum to irritate me!).

I collected myself enough to call the clinic to ask for more details so they took down my questions to pass to Dr Y. He called later, during his lunch time, so I asked him, what was the percentage like. Mine was 1 in 94. Was there any other alternative than doing the amniocentesis test? No, because this test is the most accurate. What is the risk of miscarriage for doing this test? It's 0.3% to 0.4%. Was it very painful? The pain was in pushing the needle through my flesh to get to the amnio fluid in the uterus and I need to keep still for 1 to 2 minutes. He was kind enough to tell me that to think about it, and to let them know again if I wanted to go ahead with the test.

That afternoon, I finally managed to get my hubby and I told him about it. I did compare with my elder sis, her was 1 in 40 (more than double the chances compares to mine) and we mulled over it for a little while. He thinks we should go ahead (of course, I bear all the pain!) to make sure.

I had to see my GP later for my illness - was nursing a throbbing headache earlier so I didn't go earlier since I was driving myself. After the small talk about my flu was over, I asked him about the amniocentesis test and the positive marker. He said he couldn't remember the odds but he reminded me the most important question to address here is that, if the baby has really down syndrome, what would we do? If we do not mind, then we do not need to do the test. However, if we do mind, then we need to do the test to have the peace of mind. He also said that although the test did carry the risk of miscarriages, but it is very minimal.

I went over to visit this client of mine who is stationed nearby, she's 7 to 8 months pregnant and it's her second pregnancy. I am actually glad she spotted me while I was making my way to the GP. Although I wasn't really in the mood to socialising, but I tend to gravitate towards pregnant ladies at this point, because they can feel what I feel right now. I told her about the test results and she said another colleague of hers was also in the same situation. She did go ahead with the amniocentesis test and it turned out alright. That colleague of hers (whom I actually know as well since I used to service this particular chain of outlets) was going to give birth in February!. Wow! Is the government sure we are really short on babies? Then a customer came in so I waved byebye and left. She was so sweet, she called me later and told me not to worry, and to take care.

Last but not least, my gf in oz, tried calling me but we ended up chatting on MSN. I am thankful that I had my siblings and friends, even my GP and my ex-client to comfort me.

In ways unknown to us, God works to remind us we are not alone in our troubles too, despite a gentle reminder that just how vulnerable we all are.