Vanessa is upset ...

with us picking her up late from my mum's house.

Today I left work slightly late as I had the urgent need to pump ;P so by the time we reach my mum's place it was 7 plus. She was asleep but she was frowning!

My maid said she started fussing by 4pm and she told baby that mummy and daddy are still working so to be a good girl and sleep first. She did! And then, she woke up at 6pm and when she realise no signs of daddy and mummy, she threw a tantrum apparently and wailed angrily. So my maid had to pacify her and put her in the sling, then she went back to sleep.

We quickly finished our dinner, and she did wake up briefly to peek at her daddy who was carrying her. I guess that was good enough for her and then she continued to dream about milk bottles in dreamland. On the way back, she woke up and stare at me throughout the journey home, not making any noise.

We had a small window of time to play with her as it was nearing her next feed - she's sleepy but getting hungry so she's just contented to be carried. For a short while, she chatted with us, making her baby noises, then she got cranky and started to bully her daddy. So I got the maid to check her diapers while I went to warm up her milk. After her feed, she's now fast asleep and I hope she doesn't wake up at 3 am and refuse to sleep till 6am!. She does it from time to time, and it's quite tiring for my maid. Thankfully I'm on 1/2 day leave tomorrow, so if she does that, I can take over in the afternoon and let my maid rest a bit. I'll probably tuck in early tomorrow too - been surviving on 4 to 5 hours of sleep during workdays and it's getting to me. Hmmmm ... never quite expect myself to survive on such little sleep, afterall I'm well known to need my 8 hours of beauty sleep, else I'll turn into a sulky beast hehehehe

Sing a song of teddy bear ...

Teddy bear, teddy bear, run upstairs.
Teddy bear. teddy bear, say your prayers,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn off the lights,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, say good night.

We've been playing this nursery rhymes CD for her and this song is stuck in my head for today (previously was hot cross bun something).

As usual, in the evening she's tired but she kept her eyes wide open. We did make good use of the time by talking to her and playing with her for a little while. She was quite happy, smiling away at her precious daddy. She also reserved a smile for me when I kissed her (yup, my heart melted like a piece of butter on a heated pan).

After the fun, she was contented to let me carry her and sing to her. I was (and still is) very tired and I could really only remember the song above so I sang to her like a broken record, just repeating that 4 lines. She was SO contented, she even allowed me to sit down (normally she wants me to walk around). After a while, without me realising it, she dozed off quietly. The feeling is ... so sweet that I let her continue to sleep in my arms for the hour, until I really had to make a trip to the loo.

The time spent with her now seems so urgent. Why? Since I have returned to work, I hardly get to look at her, smell her, cuddle her, kiss her ... it's a moment to be savoured, but one that passes too quickly ...

Truly it's Father's Day

hehehe... what a Happy Father's Day my girl presented to my hubby today (in addition to the brand new daddy's baby couture sling diaper bag, a Tatty Bear holding a cloth greeting card, and a photo frame of her in it - courtesy of mummy's bank)!

The maid and I went to do marketing and I had to run errands as well, so he was left alone with the baby for about 2 hours. When we came back, he reported that baby was crying and she pooped so much until her clothes were stained as well. So he singlehandedly cleaned her up and changed her! Not only that, when we were back, I egged him to bathe the girl - he promised to do so yesterday. Well he did (with the maid guiding him), and I think it boosted his confidence further!

It's truly a father's day celebration, since he did almost all of what a father should do (not just celebrating the fact he's the father). I'm sure Vanessa is proud of her daddy passing the challenges she posed with flying colours!

My girl learns how to play II

I managed to film a short clip when she first started learning how to play with the toys on the bar. Most importantly to me, it captured her smiling so sweetly!

Sweet memories are made of these ...

From a mother's view, one of the sweetest sight must be of her baby asleep in her arms.

I finally managed to take a picture of her sleeping in my arms, after numerous attempts (thank goodness for digital cameras!) and I got a few which left me relatively satisfied (but not quite a replica of my view).

It won't be long before she ditches her mum for her friends, but for now, let me savour the moment and a photo to remember this moment by.

A baby comes in between Rascal and Phoebe

Pretty babe!

Some friends gave us some very pretty and very frilly dress for our girl when she turned 1 month old. We just took it out recently and decided that we should let her wear it before she outgrows them!

Today we had a lunch appointment with one of our friends and so she got dressed in one of the frilly dresses. We also had this gift of a headband, so we decided to let her wear it just for the fun of it - or rather my own amusement.

I did had a good laugh when we put it on - just see her expression!

Anyway there will be an opportunity for her to dress up again for tomorrow's family lunch - we're celebrating Father's Day!

Conversation between a mother and her little girl

Little girl: *smiles* Yay!
Mother: Ooo cutie pie!
Little girl: *gurgles* Oooocha!
Mother: Oooocha too!
Little girl: *give a little laugh* *kicks her legs* *stares at her mother happily*
Mother: Goochi gooochi!
Little girl: Yay!
....

You get the idea. Anyway, this is my conversation with my girl this morning, and the longest we ever had to date - about 10 minutes!

Needless to say, she had me bowled over and now I am ready to grovel at her feet - any time, any day.

Finally I get to bake! Butter Cookies!

I hadn't baked in the longest time, the last "adventure" being my annual Christmas cakes last December.

Before I returned to the daily grind of work, I decided I MUST bake something.

Usually, given that I had the urge to bake, I'll normally choose to bake a cake, since I find it a whole lot easier than cookies. However, since I was pouring over my 3 ingredient cookbook, I found this recipe which seem simple enough so lure me back to the cookie baking business.

The ingredients that were called for:
1 cup Butter (I used SCS salted butter)
2/3 cup lightly packed soft brown sugar (The recipe originally called for golden granulated sugar)
2 and 2/3 cup Plain Flour
Plus Demera Sugar to roll the cookie dough in (I added some edible red glitter too)

I also added 2 teaspoon vanilla essence and some red food colouring (I wanted pink cookies! but they turned out peachy colour :P)

The method? Oh so simple!

1. Heat the oven to 160 degree Celsius.
2. Cream butter and sugar together till fluffy. Add Vanilla essence and beat a little more.
3. Stir in flour and mix into a soft dough (non sticky!).
4. Tear a piece of baking paper and shape the dough into a long roll on it. You can have it round or square or rectangle.
5. On one side of the baking paper, sprinkle a thick layer of demera sugar.
6. Coat the dough with the sugar. Wrapped with the baking paper when done.
7. Put into the fridge to chill for at least 30 mins (I put mine overnight).
8. Unwrap the dough and cut into slices. Place on baking sheet (I put a layer of baking paper on top) at least an inch apart. The cookie will still expand somewhat.
9. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or till golden brown (depends on how big your cookies are).
10. Tadah! Lovely with coffee, tea or just on its own!

Enjoy!

My disaster for this bake? I lost one of the paddle for my mixer so I couldn't cream the butter and sugar with my mixer =( I had to cream with a wooden spoon which I hadn't done so since *count count* GEEZ! 20 years ago! Anyway thankfully the cookies turned out fantastic!

Heartache of a mother

I resumed work on Tuesday as planned and sent my girl to my mum's house early in the morning with my maid. She seems to enjoy the fuss from my mum and after settling her stuff (including the bouncer), we left for work.

Work was a blur - I had a hard time trying to recall what I did before I went on maternity leave and picking up from there. I still have the boxes of files to clear - must do it before the end of next week! I have 2 pictures of my girl - one on my shelf, the other just next to my computer. When I look at her picture, I have this warm fuzzy feeling but also missing her terribly.

Pumping at work was not quite pleasant - felt very self conscious even though I had my own room. I couldn't have any letdown so it was so tedious trying to clear my breasts. Didn't have much - about 150ml , 50ml short of my usual pump. Anyway, I wasn't too worried since I had cart the entire frozen stock over to my mum's place so my girl will have enough BM for now.

At the end of the day, my hubby made the effort to knock off on time so we "zoomed" home to find my girl crying. So we went to wash our hands and as usual, she coo-ed to her father and fell asleep in his arms. I took over from him after I had finished my dinner and she opened her eyes a little and then dozed off. Then she opened her eyes again, this time wide open and she saw that it wasn't her daddy, she wailed loudly! So ended up my hubby carried her while eating his dinner. Later my maid carried her and she was awake - I held her hand and she made a very angry noise and pulled her hand away! *sigh* She didn't want me near her, and same thing happened when we reach home. So I just pumped and went to bed early.

Next morning, I woke up and baby was awake already. So I went to sayang her and again she refused to let me touch her! I was so upset but I had to pump, so I left her with the maid. While pumping in my room, I wept because I was so upset by her rejection. Then my hubby entered with her asleep in his arms, asking if I wanted to nurse since she may be hungry. I complained and said she is bullying me - you know what this little baby did? SHE SMILED IN HER SLEEP! *argh* I can't believe it!

Anyway, I did try to nurse her and she allowed me to, without any fuss. In fact, she even fell asleep on my breast, so I eased her in between my legs (she was sleeping on my pillow) with her head resting on top of my knee. I had to continue pumping since she fed briefly on that breast before falling asleep. Halfway through, she moved and wriggled her way towards my tummy so that her head is facing my tummy and her body closer to my tummy. After all she put me through, she makes up to me by snuggling up to me. Ya, I am willing to be "ill-treated" by her anytime, as long as she makes it up to me.

This morning? She was so smiley to me and was willing to let me carry her without any protest, even falling asleep without fussing. I almost couldn't bear to go to work ... When I returned from work this afternoon, she woke up to welcome me home! She smiled and coo-ed a little to me (not as much as she does to her daddy though!) and snuggled in my arms and fell asleep again.

*sigh* ...

Till tomorrow comes ...

I'll start work tomorrow and today was spent ferrying things to my mum's house and trying to figure out what else we need to bring over.

My girl is still unused to the place but she's doing ok. We've managed to cart the frozen BM over, as well as most of the things she need to use. I've tried ordering the diapers for delivery for somehow they are uncontactable today. I guess I'll just have to try again tomorrow.

I've yet to finish packing my wardrobe, things I can still fit in to wear to work. I also need to make sure I have all my pump equipment packed to go, which means I'm dependent on my Avent tonight and for the first pump tomorrow, and thereafter until it's the weekend :P I'm bring my Ameda pumps and leaving it at my workplace.

Feeling very apprehensive ... not sure if I can cope at work since I'm handling a new portfolio, or if my pumping is disruptive. I can only hope for the best ....

Pavlov's conditioning

Went to my mum's house today for lunch and upon arrival, it's my girl's feeding time.

 

So I helped to make the bottle of FM and when I turned around to pass to my maid, my girl started smiling happily as she focused on the bottle. She even licked her lips!!!!!! She sure knows where her milk is coming from!

 

Maybe I should just video this as an exercise of the classic Pavlov's conditioning!

Mornings should be made of these ...

Note: Emotional motherly stuff again

Yesterday morning I woke up and went to get my pump gear from the kitchen. At the same time, the maid was going to the fridge to get a bottle of milk for my girl. So she asked if I wanted to breastfeed. Baby had last taken her milk about 4 hours ago and so I hesitated. I didn't want her to cry blue murder at my breast if the milk wasn't coming out fast enough. Anyway I took up the challenge and carried her into my room - notified the hubby so that he would be on hand to help me to burp baby.

So we started feeding - she was still sleepy but she licked a little before proceeding to latch on. She would start and stop, and in the intervals lick a bit again before latching on. She had enough from one side after she start crying a little and doing the merlion act. The hubby carried her a little and burped her while I adjust to switch her to the other breast. She latched on quickly this time and after a few minutes, fell asleep with her mouth opened. I raised her head up a bit so it would be easier for her to burp and I continued to watch her sleeping. After a while I got pretty tired too, so I gingerly eased myself lower and adjusting for her to be sleeping on my lap. I held her hand so I would know when she moves and we both napped together. She was asleep for 1.5 hours on my lap! I guess the position was very comfortable and comforting to her - she was sleeping on her side and her body was sort of wrapped around mine.

I am not sure how to describe the feeling I had while watching her, but it's a really nice one. Nay, I didn't cry - but I did think if every morning could start like this, it would be so nice... so utterly blissful ...

New photos of Vanessa

Probably the last batch I'm "free" to update and upload for some time ... I'm returning to work on Tuesday and I'm printing her pictures to bring to office so I can see her sweet sweet smile in front of me. But most of all, I'll miss her sweet sweet smell ...

My girl learns how to play!

... with the toys hanging from the bouncer bar!

Today we were busy packing up and cleaning out the kitchen and my girl wanted some attention. So I put her on the bouncer and took her hand to hit the toy with the rattler. She looks rather amused but just continued to stared at me. I guess she wanted me to play with her so I played with her a little while and then left her in the bouncer while we cleaned the kitchen (keeping a watchful eye on her). After 10 minutes later, she got bored and cried for attention, so we coo-ed and patted her to sleep.

Later on, after she had her milk, she didn't want to sleep - but we haven't had lunch and were hungry (it was close to 3pm). So the maid put on the bouncer and left the "car seat motion simulator" on (which basically just the bouncer vibrating like a very gentle massage chair). So we were tucking into our lunch (instant noodles) and my maid said, "Look! She's playing with the toy!" True enough, she was using her hand to hit the toy (the one I was playing with earlier). I was so elated - but sad at the same time. My girl is learning things so quickly, and she's doing so many things for the first time on her own. Once I start working again, I'll miss so many of these little "first"s.

I know it's no big deal to some - for me, it is. Every time she does something new and I don't get to share it with her, I feel an stab of envy and regret, "Why wasn't I there to witness it?" She's was no piece of cake (conceiving her and carrying her in my womb to birth), so I treasure every surprises she has in store for me.

She has shown me that I have patience I never knew I had, and for that, my 2 dogs should be very thankful to her.

My princess is now 2 months old!

How times flies. She's now 2 months old, can smile, can laugh, can frown, and pout too!

She's also learning how to bully her dad, as well to manja him by making "I'm so poor thing" mini cries when he's carrying her in the evening.

When the sun sets ...

and Vanessa can tell that her day is coming close to an end. So she fusses because it's no more playtime!

At laest I believe so... I remember that my nephew used to fuss at 7pm, because that's when his mum returns home and he knows it's that time of the day by 1) setting of the sun = the sky is turning dark 2) the theme song from the HK drama "Kinship" ...

So is it the same for Vanessa? I think so ...

Do you know she can laugh already? Sometimes I am so jealous of my maid, when my girl smiles and laughs with her ... but in a way, it makes returning to work easier. I do hope she will miss me (or at least snuggling up to my chest) but not so much that she will wail the house down. I don't think she knows who is her mummy, but I do hope she can recognise me soon ... I'm trying to use the sign language to indicate "Mummy" and "Milk" - so I hope it's something she can learn to communicate.

Today she indicate she wanted more BM by pulling at my breast when I thought she was done already. She put her fist on my breast and tried to push towards her 3 times! I was quite impressed - I suppose all babies can do that but it's the first time I realise she is really growing VERY fast and learning a lot of things too *sigh* and I'll be starting work soon =(

Today is the day ... Baby bathtime!

No, not that my girl never had a bath before, just that today is the very first time I bathe her myself! Of course with guidance from the maid - all that bathing lessons from the pre-natal and after birth lessons simply cannot be recalled once I'm holding the baby in my hands and with her staring at me with her eyes wide open.


When I started undressing her, she started smiling - she does really enjoy her bathtime! I also cleaned her since she had pooped and then wrapped her in her bathing cloth.


She did protest a bit intially, when I was washing her face. She's probably saying,"Hurry up! I wana get into the water NOW!!!". Her protest grew louder when I was washing her hair and she promptly smiled when she was put into the water. I couldn't quite support her with my left hand while trying to wash her with the washcloth. So I switched sides since the FP bathtub I bought had a feature to help better support infants *phew* After that, it was a breeze!


It wasn't as difficult as I thought, but she's getting bigger and heavier, making it slightly hard to hold her and wrap her with the towel after I'm done.


Anyway, this is her after her bathtime. She does look very pleased and I'm very happy she enjoyed her bathtime with me!

If you are wondering which bathtub we bought, this is the one:

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2011&e=detail&selcat=bgpty&pid=35265