back to the same old routine ...

It's sad ... #2 looks at me forlornly when I return from work ... as usual we get to spend less than 15 minutes together, before I get distracted by dinner, family member and V. By the time we reach home, it's time for me to pump and for Ian to sleep.

By the time I finish pumping, it's time for V to sleep.

By the time she sleeps, it's time for me to sleep.

When I wake up, it's time to pump, then shower then go to work. Ian would have been dressed and had his cereal. All we get is another 3 minutes walk to the car, and he holds my finger during the car ride to my mum's place. Then he gets dropped off, again, with a sad look on his face, and I'm off to work to drop V. Today was better, she didn't cry, but was still upset.

On the way to work, it's small talk with the hubby, more often than not, it's silence. Then it's work, work and work. Even though we both work for the same organisation, we had only lunch together 3 times! Yes, it's true! We don't even chat during or SMS during office hours because we don't have the time. Then it's time to knock off work ... and the same cycle starts again ...

Sad? Yes, when I don't get to spend much time with my kids, especially #2. The government encourages us to have 3 or more , if we could. The answer is cannot. I'm already struggling with my finances with 2 kids, double income and a guilty complex. 3? I think I'll be so eaten with guilt that I'll be in depression!