Almost back to ... normal

V is almost back to her 100% self.

Other than her porridge and biscuits, she was also allowed some fishball noodles. She was a bit grouchy on the way home, but it's late and we waited quite a while before the cab turned up (and before that, 10 minutes or more as I walked out to try to flag a cab down with no success).

She wants fishballs with rice tomorrow, so hopefully my mum can "cater" to her demands. She's acting like a little diva now, since she knows she will almost get her way (and mummy is not around to say no).

I'm quite exhausted since I have yet to fully recover from flu and work is quite busy, so I can't take a "break" and knock off early. Just waiting for the milk to hit a certain target (which I think I won't be able to hit tonight) before I go sleep.

My output is about 1000ml a day now but it only caters for about 80% for #2 intake. It's much better than when I was pumping for V. At the same stage, I had already given up pumping! I'm not sure how much longer I am going to do this - seems so endless and thankless sometimes.

#2 still seems slightly upset that I am not spending much time with him so I got to buck up ... Should I really try for #3?

kids' talk ... III

I removed discharge from V's eyes and showed her.

V: You take my bee sai and put on my eye?

The princess is home!

We decided to get her discharged this evening. She was off the drip at 3 plus and was eating fine (meaning no discomfort or vomitting). The PD came by earlier to see her and said she could go home if she was feeling OK. The strange thing was, V seemed a little reluctant to go home!

A typical conversation would arise when the hubby told her we were going back:

Papa: We are going home!

V: Cannot! Then got no one look after me!

Papa: But everyone is going home, you, me and mummy.

V: Cannot! I got this tube (pointing to the needle on her hand).

Papa: They will take it out before we go back, so should be OK lah.

V: Cannot!

Papa: Why cannot?

V: hmmmmmm .....

[ The whole conversation would repeat again when she was told that we were going back]

We stopped by my mum's place to pick up #2 and the helpers, and #2 was looking around for V when he heard her voice (he can't see her since he sits looking towards the back row and she sits in front). When we came home, we try to separate the kids but it was not quite possible since the 2 kids were just gravitating towards each other. It was quite touching to see #2 reach one to pinch his sister's face and talk to her in his baby lingo. V also "sayanged" him and try to hug him. Even as I allowed him to jump a little on my bed, he was frowning since his sister was sitting at the other end. V tried to explain to him that she couldn't jump with him, since she was eating her medicine (she was chewing a tablet at that time).

She probably won't go to school for monday and tuesday, but I can't take leave to look after her, as work during these 3 to 4 weeks tends to be a bit more time-sensitive. Let's see how it goes - I'm crossing fingers since the last week it wasn't all too "pretty".

Myth versus Truth

V has 2 "twirls" on her head, so usually the first thing people exclaim when they see that is "wow, must be very naughty right?"

No. She's not. In fact, she's the opposite.

She can be cheeky, she can throw tantrum, she can be unruly but truthfully - seldom.

She's mostly a smiley, happy child, and she's quite the obedient child too.

Like now, she's really, really, really very hungry - you can see from the way she waits for her porridge eagerly. She wants to drink it all down, if possible, yet she controls herself and let us feed her bit by bit. She will try to negotiate for more, but she will settle for what we tell her is appropriate.

At 3 years old, and she's not wailing down the entire hospital when she is hungry, tired and in pain - I can tell you, I'm grateful and thankful for V.

She makes my life as a mum so much easier.

I love you sweetie, please get well soon. Mummy misses sharing the bed with you (and your kicks as well).

update on my princess

Reached the hospital at about 9:30am and she was asleep. Hubby said she woke up shortly after I left and didn't sleep till 8 plus, in between which the PD (aka hr favourite doctor) came by to check on her and did the needle thingy for the drip (sorry forgot what it is called - super concussed since I have less than 5 hours of sleep since last night). Hubby said she was awake through out and NEVER CRY. wow... then again, it's her fav doc :P

I took over the hubby and he left about 10am. Shortly after that she woke up - my hopes of having a quick cat nap were dashed :P My poor girl was super hungry - she saw my lunch being served. She first asked if we were sharing lunch, so I replied no, since she's not allowed to eat. Then she announced "my tummy make noise!" oops, then she was "forced" to watch me eat since there was no other place I could eat the lunch. She asked what was the food that was being covered and scanned through all the dishes. She asked again about the soup and then she said "1 spoon for me?" Again, poor thing, I had to reply no, and then I told her her fav doc say she cannot eat yet. As usual, she will ask why, so I had to explain that her tummy is not feeling well, and any food now will make her feel worse, and that's why the doctor say she can only have food later.

We walked to the lift landing and then she asked me again "go down buy porridge for me to eat?" I almost burst out crying. I had to squat down and hug her and then tell her no again. She saw the tears welling in my eyes and decided to spare me, so she just smiled. We went down to "shop" at the pharmacy and that cheeky girl, tried to bargain for 2 stuff toys instead of 1. In the end, she settled for tigger and a barney jigsaw book (she didn't want to do colouring anymore and the barney CDs/ laptop were with the hubby). Some kind soul let us cut queue to pay since I was literally trying to stop her from winding the drip tubing around herself. The "hanger" was quite cumbersome too, lucky no one tripped over it!

We went back, played with the toys and did the puzzles for a while. I made her lie down to rest and she went into ZzZZz land for about 3 hours. I was awoken up barely 30 mins into ZzzZzland by the new neighbours consistent inconsiderateness. I'm sure they can hear that the door shuts with a loud bang, the most they could do is to gently close the door rather than letting it close by itself. Anyway, her "gong gong" also dropped by to visit her, so I couldn't fall back asleep after that.

Hubby arrived to take over the next shift since it's the next pump session for me. Thankfully the nurse also came by to announce that we can move into the single room *phew*. We settled V into the new room (all pink!) and then gave her 3 teaspoon of porridge. I added some water to dilute it so that it seems more that it looks :P She was so hungry, that when I told her I was leaving, all she did was to stare at the spoon in her bowl. In fact she attempted to take over the spoon! That was how hungry she was! We told her she had to eat slowly otherwise she will vomit, so she solemnly (and sadly) nodded and gave the spoon back to the hubby.

Now my #2 is looking at me solemnly - I can't carry him since I'm pumping. I'm worried about passing him all the germs too so I'll probably take a shower with a splash of dettol, play with him a little, nap for 1 hour, grab my dinner and then head to the hospital again.

TGIF .... NOT =(

V woke up suddenly at 2am and went "mummy mummy mummy". Thinking she had a nightmare, I tried to soothe her and assure that mummy was with her. I pulled her to lie next to me, but she sat up again and went "mummy mummy mummy". We didn't know what's wrong with her until the hubby deciphered it as "vomit vomit vomit". Of course we sprang into action immediately, turning on the lights and passing the dustbin to her.

Poor V, she vomited out her milk. I gave her some water but she said she still wanted to vomit. True enough, she hurled out a whole lot more of saliva and plus the water I gave her. I had some anti vomiting medicine so I gave her that too. But it didn't work, within 3 minutes it came out again. Shortly after she starting vomiting bile, and we decided to bring her to A & E immediately.

While waiting for instructions from the PD (we asked the staff to call), she vomited a few more times. She had to have a suppository inserted and I was too freaked out to go into the room with her. So the "brave" hubby went in with her and they came out OK. We were told to report back in 30 minutes time so they could check on her (we wanted to sit in another area with sofa). By the time the doctor was available to check on her, it was almost 1 hour since she was given the suppository (the doctor was busy stitching up some patient).

She was still vomiting about every 10 minutes or so, and we decided with the doctor's advice to admit her. The hubby thought that her vomiting interval was beginning to space out, but I thought it was safer just to admit her. Her vomiting was quite violent, and she would kicked her legs furiously when she was vomit the bile out. It must have been painful, and tiring to do it. She kept asking to go home but we couldn't since we had to wait for her review and I wasn't so keen since she was still throwing up.

True enough, while waiting for the papers to be done for the admission, V threw up 2 more times. We couldn't get a single room, so we had to share room with another patient. She threw up 1 more time and finally she was so tired she drifted off to sleep. She wanted water (it has been 4 hours since she first threw up) but the nurses advised against it. So we told her she has to wait till her favourite doctor comes before she could have some, and she was quite good - she didn't cry or fuss.

Now, we have to watch out for any vomiting or diarrhoea with #2 or anyone else in the family. After my pump (hence the ability to blog), I'll be going back to the hospital to check on my princess. Poor thing, it seems she may well miss having a birthday celebration in school this year, like last year when she was confined at home for suspected HFMD. *sigh*

TGIF!!!!!!!

I had never wanted a weekend as much as this week! Not that I was working very hard, but rather, it has been a rather crappy week. Monday was terrible, early in the morning. There wasn't even anytime to dwell on Monday Blues.

Came Tuesday night, I was feeling sick, thanks to the hubby who had the flu bug. I crashed on Wednesday - I was so groggy and dazed. My chest was so congested that it hurt. I thought it was drowsiness caused by the medication, so on Thursday morning, I stopped the medication totally. It didn't work, and I was still feeling the same - sleepy, hurting in the chest and neck area with a very heavy head, yet still felt very "floaty".

Then Friday came, I was OK enough to go to work, and well, yeah, to settle some issues. Thankfully my life wasn't made too miserable and I went home, a bit late, but still early enough to catch the setting sun. Had a quick dinner and then play bubbles with the kids. This is probably something they enjoy the most with me for now. #2 was happy enough to oblige me with his "eyes closed and open mouth" smile upon my request.

Came home, the 2 kids had a great time jumping on my bed. Finally it was bedtime for #2, and we waved him night night. He solemnly waved back too, with his version of "queen's wave". He's so funny!!!!! V also played some computer games with me and I heard her squealing happily with her daddy during the bedtime reading.

It's a good ending to a not so great week, but I'm looking forward to next week. Not for the long holiday, but V is turning 3 !!!!!

How time flies!!!!!

Kids' Talk ... II

At lunch today:

Papa: Baby you want set lunch?

V: No I don't want set lunch.

Papa: Ah, why you don't want set lunch? Then what you want?

V: I don't want set (sad) lunch, I want happy lunch.

Kids' talk ...

#2 was pulling #1's hair

Papa: No didi, you cannot do that, it's illegal.

V: No, papa, didi is not illegal (ille-GIRL), he is ille-BOY!

Tree Hugger

My #2 that is ... so I'm back to being his favourite tree!

I got some toys for him today and well, he seemed more interested in "illegal" items. He has licked the table, tried pulling the padding taped on to the armrest, and I supposed if we didn't stop him, something off the ground or just tasting the floor :P

He's crawling quite well now. He will see something that interests him, and then off he goes, crawling his leopard crawl (which looks like he's swimming freestyle on land) and he's fast too. Come to think of it, it's the lazy crawl since he doesn't even bother to lift up his butt and crawl on his knees. He's just using his arms to pull him along on his tummy! He can sit quite well too, which surprised me, since the last few times he was still quite wobbly.

My boy is growing up so fast ... too fast!!!! and speaking of which, V is turning 3 soon. Wow .... time flies huh ... barely one year ago I was wondering why she wasn't talking much and now she's asking "whys" non-stop and has that funny baby logic which is both amusing and logical in a sense.

Time to snuggle next to her ... and I must remember to cuddle #2 more ...

An angry boy

#2 is angry with me. I have learnt to recognise the "ignoring" traits of my kids when they are angry with someone. Usually when he sees me after work, he squeals and whines and cries until he gets my attention. Then he will grab me and hug me like a koala bear who has found his long-lost favourite tree.

Today, he looked at my water bottle, he looked at my bag, then he looked away. He looked at me with a "bored" face and then looked away again. *sigh*

I think I know the cause of it - I have been bringing #2 for kindermusic class and usually I do it with him. But for the past 3 times, for various reasons and my recent soreness in the chest area, I let my helper bring him for the class instead. So, while he enjoys the class, he knows something is not right and he's upset because I was not present.

OK, point noted, I will do the class with him from now on :P

And I need to spend more time cuddling him too ... *sigh*

Mastitis Day 3

This is the 3rd day since I had the inflammation/ infection.

It's slightly better, but there is still a reddish spot on the left side. The worst is the stubborn blockages - last night I spent almost 3 hours trying to clear one lump that was deep inside. In the end, I gave up and went to bed - it just simply would not budge!

This morning woke up early at 7am to try again - this time again with a hot towel. After 2 hours of pumping, massaging, prodding and silent swearing, it finally gave way. There is still another one nearer to my sternum, and that really is causing me "chest pains".

I think I will just have to call the aunty to come again today - yesterday she came and help to clear the blockages, but they fill up so fast and refuse to budge. I tried pumping 2 hours after she cleared for me and lo and behold, the lumps were back again.

It's depressing, it's discouraging. I can't take today's class with #2 because of all the various movements and carrying. It's so sad =(

I think I need some retail therapy to relieve some of the stress!

A Princess and a smile

I went to my sister bedroom to get V to go home and I saw her stomping around, with a blanket tied to her waist, same as A, my niece. I looked at V and she went "PRINCESS!" then proceed to walk around the room in her "train". It's funny, but I never knew my girl was so "ku niang". I have always seen her as a "tom boy" in the making since she's always not into dolls and dress up (hence all my hair clips are just going to waste). Then again, she has expressed her desire to put on blusher, lipstick, etc when she sees me doing it or my makeup paper bag. Most recently, is her request for pink nails. As long as her request is not too outrageous, I guess I'm OK with it.

And on the other hand, my little prince, is really practising his charm on us. This evening, he was screwing up his eyes and then opening his mouth when he sees me. We finally figured out it is his version of a "smile on demand". It was so funny! He occasionally will look at me with his almost closed eyes and with an ultra "duh" look on his face - but this was the first time, he does it with a opened mouth smile. He was more than happy to oblige us when we requested for more smiles, and despite the pain in the chest, I just wanted to hug and kiss him no matter what. He's so ... sweet. Girls should be careful of him :P

Mastitis, now?!?!

Ouch, a pain in the .... not the usual B, but the other B.

Ya, I got an infection on my left side. Which means, less milk for #2 =(

It started off with a slight soreness and swelling, so I thought "engorgement? but very unlikely" ... by last night, it was obvious it wasn't engorgement. It was painful to touch, but I couldn't quite pinpoint the inflamed duct. My right side was OK so that's how I knew I probably have mastitis.

I had it before, when V was 1 month old. That's how I know the warning signs - the tenderness, slight fever, painful to touch, and "warm" to touch (get more info here), except then I didn't know and by the time I seeked help, I was in agony.

This morning I "stripped" as much milk as possible before I went to see the doctor. This "stripping" remind me of this particular incident, recounted by James Herriot in one of this books. A cow had one of its 4 teats infected, and his advice to the owner was to massage and strip as much milk as possible, so as to get rid of the infected liquid inside that teat. Well, I do fell like a human cow most of the times when I am pumping, so I am taking James Herriot advice to heart. In fact, I texted my massage lady for help, and she spent almost 1 hour clearing the inflamed ducts. To my horror, for some strange reason, my right side was starting to display the same symptoms. To her credit, she managed to clear the inflamed ducts - I had multiple let downs, plus sudden jets of milk. I felt that the milk was so wasted, but I also knew I had a better chance of early recovery.

I am on antibiotics now, plus panadol since I am running a fever. I just hope this clears up fast, else I may just stop breastfeeding altogether. I am quite half-hearted about continuing to breastfeed, and with this inflammation, I feel like giving up.

I admire those mummies who lug their pumping gear to work each day, because I am already weary of the routine, and I'm nowhere near the 1 year mark.

And yes, it's find to feed #2 with the milk I pump out now. Most importantly, get medicine that is OK for breastfeeding mummies, and the more I pump, the more I "stripped", the faster I recover.

Don't wait to ask for help. It's OK to ask for help and to take medication even though you are breastfeeding. If in doubt if the medicine is really safe for your child, ask for help from your baby's PD.

Tips:

1) wear a comfortable bra (after the incident when I had V, I switched to wearing camisole bras available from MIM - Basic Cami-Bra here and I will stress that I only mostly use this bra even I had others as I didn't like the rest for some various reasons)

2) use something to cool the "hot spot" - I normally just insert an ice pack (like those that comes with Royce Chocolates) into my bra. Some recommend cabbage leaves, but I was too lazy to go out to buy it. Besides I cannot stand the smell of cabbage leaves, especially after they have been *cooked* by the heat.

3. Take Vit C to help fight/ recover from the infection (I take the same dosage if I am down with flu - 2000mg (2 X 1000mg fizzy tablet) with 700ml water

4. Get a breast massage if you can, from a massage lady who knows what she is doing.

5. REST.

6. Remember to breastfeed or pump as regularly as you can (I try to pump every 4 hours instead of every 8 hours). And try to massage the sore spots to help drain out the milk. Use of hot towels/ compress for the sore or lumpy areas.

midnight cravings

other than to eat ... I also had the crave to make something.

Long time ago, back in uni, when the whole bunch of us were irc-ing late at night to the wee hours, we had this gf who loved to bake in the middle of the night. I remember one particular incident when she suddenly announced she was making egg tarts ... i can only say most of us were left salivating on our keyboards =(

so last night, I decided to act on my "craving" and I made rainbow agar agar. The recipe I looked at was from Baking Mum's Multi-Colour Sago Jelly at http://bakingmum.blogspot.com/2006/10/multi-colour-sago-jelly.html

Needless to say again, I forgot something - I forgot to add salt and I added too much liquid!

I didn't bother to measure the agar agar powder since it came in a ready pack form, but looking at the instructions at the back of the packet, I should have remembered to reduce the liquid to 1 litre instead of adding the full 1.3 litre Baking Mum's recipe called for.

What I did and what I used:

Ingredients A:

250g pack of Kara Coconut cream

1 litre of water (should reduce to 700ml)

200g sugar

one bunch of pandan leaves, knotted (washed)

1 packet of redman agar agar powder

Throw everything together and bring to a boil. Stir to ensure the agar agar powder dissolves properly. When done, strain into a container.

Ingredients B:

Sago pearls (100g)

3 drops of colouring X the number of colours (I used pink, blue and yellow)

Rinse and wash sago pearl. Boil water (1.5 litre) and add pearls. Cooked till translucent. It's OK to have some white dots here and there. Remove from heat. Add cold water from running tap. Drain pearls under a running tap.

Divide into 3 portions into separate containers (according to the number of colours you use and big enough to hold agar mixture) and add the colouring. Mix well.

Divide the Agar mixture and add to the 3 separate containers holding the coloured sago. Pour the sago and agar mixture of 1 colour into the mold. Put in fridge for it to set slightly. Remove, and using a spoon, gently pour the 2nd colour sago and agar mixture unto the mold (pour on to the spoon, and not directly onto the 1st layer of agar. Repeat steps.

When properly set, remove from mold, cut and serve.

Pictures with my hubby, will get him to post up :P

Clicking together

My boy is definitely very different from his sister. He likes tongue clicking - he does it himself and he gets hyper amused when I do it to him. We both can just look at each other and do nothing but tongue clicking and he's entertained enough not to fuss. I don't really recall V doing that at this stage, or doing tongue clicking at all.

He'll just sit on my lap and start clicking his tongue while looking at me. I managed to capture a short video of him doing it, but it was really difficult. Once he saw my mobile, he starting trying to grab it (as a chew toy) so he wasn't in the least interested to perform his tongue clicking act.

V was also amused enough to try it, so occasionally all 3 of us would just lie on my bed and happily click our tongues. It's a messy affair though, with lots of loose spittle flying around, or in #2's case, just dribbling down his chin *ewwww*

Sleepng on the bed ...

We are still trying to get V to sleep on her own bed, and we have some success.

Well, 1) I pretend to vomit on her 2) Daddy carries her to her bed 3) she makes space for daddy to squeeze beside her 4) she falls asleep 5) Daddy climbs back to his own space (the 2 beds are just next to each other, just that our bed is a tad higher than hers).

The only problem is when she wakes up in the middle of the night, with no daddy next to her. Then she will cry for daddy, and if daddy is not available, mummy has to comfort her. Then when the daddy appears, she is so upset with him, she ignores him.

In the meanwhile, I am savouring my SPACE ... it hadn't felt so squeezy since when I was young and had to share 1 bedroom with 6 other family members.

But ... I do miss her snuggling up to me though ... and her unexpected hugs from time to time ... maybe when #2 is of the correct age range, we will change beds and just park 2 queen size mattress next to each other... hmmmm

tumble-a-rumble, rumble-a-tumble

My stomach feels like a washing machine which has been churning its washload for the past 72 hours non stop.

I can retain my food better now, but I have to be careful in case I go overboard in my semi-permanent hunger state. I have to be extremely selective in choice of food too - none of my favourite chilli. Liquids should be warm and taken SLOWLY, something I have difficulty in since I usually chug my liquids like in a water parade. I typically would drink about 700ml at one go, up to 1 litre if I am really thirsty, within a space of 2 minutes. I could sip slowly I guess, if my mind is focused on the task alone, but mostly, in this current "already-cheaper-faster-better" state, my brains are usually grappling with the multi requests at the same time (well, phone calls, queries from the colleagues, emails and pumping at the same time are typical).

I can feel the gas bubbling, giving me knots in the tummy. In fact, it's quite bloated to the extend that I look preggy again. But smack the tummy, it's as hollow as a drum. It's quite a sight to see me walking slowly, rubbing my tummy, and then suddenly doubling in pain. It's worse still if I had to move quickly evacuate the area, lest people start wondering where the gas leak is coming from. *groan*

merlion act II part II

doh ... did the merlion act again and now at 5am, my tummy is rumbling, for the lack of food. I am so hungry ... and I have to go slow on water intake too *sigh*

still feeling floaty so I guess I better be a good girl and see the doctor tomorrow. Don't want to risk spreading the bugs to everyone else around me.

This evening V served me the dustbin, she was a good girl, didn't dilly dally along the way ... and she was persuaded to sleep in her own bed again ... hopefully this will be the start of her sleeping in her own bed, which means I have more space, I won't get kicked in the back or head, or have her suddenly flopped on top of me, and least, her feet in my mouth. And then, in another few more months, #2 should be joining us =P space is a premium indeed.

merlion act II

I had been feeling queasy the entire day ... so much so I was so listless - since my hands were feeling numb (a sure sign of oncoming fever) and sleepyness (body trying to cope with the onslaught).

We were out at a friend's place for lunch, and after my stomach started sending subtle protest signals, I didn't finish my lunch and I am also glad I turned down the offer of coffee, although it smelt so WONDERFUL and that guy, can sure make serving coffee an art form.

Came home and I knocked out for about 2 hours plus, but it was only intermittent rest since V decided to be naughty and kept kicking my back when the daddy wasn't looking. She thought I didn't know but she got a dressing down from me later when I felt I was up to getting out of bed. Yes, she look extremely guilty and scared - this mummy is not one to be messed with! Hubby brought her out for dinner while I rested at home.

#2 was v funny - he seems to understand everything I tell him. Since I was running a slight fever, I told him when I saw him that I couldn't carry him. He went "AIYA!" (I'M NOT KIDDING) and made unhappy noises while looking at me. I told him "but mummy is not feeling well. when mummy is ok, I'll carry you ok?" He made loud unhappy noises while giving me sad looks. Later when he was playing on the mat, he made attempts to crawl towards me and he even tried to kiss my toes :P In the end, I carried him for a little while but avoided breathing on him or kissing him. This one sure knows how to steal my heart!

V wasn't feeling all that great too - after dinner she wanted to go to bed and wanted me to bring her in. In the end, she was playing my post-it stickies on the bed for a while before I turned off the lights. We explained to her that I wasn't feeling well, so she had to sleep on her own bed. She started tearing and whimpering. Well, the hubby managed to get her to sleep on her own bed, and he squeeze in next to her on the same bed on her request. I was worried that the bed would fall apart since it wasn't built to withstand an adult's weight!

Woke up to pump but I was having this funny dream (sub conscious) about vomiting, then I realised I might vomit! I sent a garbage SMS to the hubby (couldn't type properly) and a dustbin was kindly delivered to me. Within moments, I merlioned into the bin and the stench was awful - anyway it was the dinner. I retched a second time after the hubby had cleared the first lot and thoughtfully put another clean bag over the bin next to me. I was hugging it for dear life since my stomach was trying to clear the remains, so my stomach was contracting even more forcefully. I flopped back to bed and here I am now, 3am in the morning, doing da pump.

Even if I am not feeling well, #2 still needs mummy's milk, so I got to do what I got to do. That's the love and responsibility of a parent.