To the park, to the park, we go!

For the past 2 days, I've been trying to motivate myself to lose some weight, and to get out of the house!

So for the past mornings, we've been bringing Vanessa to visit the parks. We went to the Bukit Batok Nature Park yesterday morning (so near our palce yet we never venture there before ;P) and today, we went to the Botanica Gardens. We wanted to check out the Children's Garden but it's closed on Mondays.

[Food for thought - read only if you are interested in some bitchy musing:
Nope, we weren't the only parents who were met with locked gates. At least we realised it's closed on mondays, there were some folks who were still waiting patiently for the gates to open (it was close to 10am and the garden is opened at 8am - go figure). Not only that, I overheard some parents telling their kids to pray about it, that some other places would be opened for them to visit. Really, I don't think God would be very pleased to be an excuse for bad planning on the parent's part.]

I would say the Botanica Gardens was a much better workout - pushing the stroller up the Red Brick Path *pant* but we had fun ... Vanessa fell asleep while we were on the Red Brick Path, so we had a brunch break - had some food at the Les Amis Cafe. It was good, but the price was .... think $7.50 for 4 pancakes which were 10cm in diameter, and they added a little bit of strawberries to it. Nevertheless, it was yummy - I think I saw a strawberry buttermilk pancakes recipe somewhere.

I know Vanessa enjoyed the walks - she was kicking non-stop in her stroller! Just thinking which park to visit tomorrow!

If you are happy ...

When my girl is happy or pleased, she doesn't just show it with her usual sweet smile. She now happily waves her right leg in the air, or hang it over the stroller and kicks happily. Well, as long she doesn't kicks me, I'm happy!

Falling ill ...

First was my sweetheart, who had the runs 8 to 10 times day. As she didn't have any fever or any other symptoms, I decided to adopt the wait and see approach. When she had runs 4 times at night, we went straight to the PD and as I guessed correctly, the usual PD is on leave. Even the nurse concurred with me, it seems that Vanessa falls ill every time the PD goes on leave. Nothing unusual, only her intestines were rumbling. So we did the stool test just to eliminate the possibility of salmonella (the thingy that's been going around). The PD said it's probably just a viral infection (again) and of course, the guilt sets in once again since I've almost stopped breastfeeding (just a miserable 80ml of expressed breastmilk a day if I'm lucky).

Then the hubby came down with diarrhoea, vomitting and fever. He's down with gastric flu.

Then now I'm not feeling all the best either - tummy's feeling queasy, been visiting the loo but no loose stools. Been feeling the urge to hurl too (not a remote chance that I'm preggie) so I decided to skip dinner tonight. Finally got around to taking my mulit-vits, so forced every one to take a dose to prevent any further illness over this WONDERFUL FESTIVE SEASON. It's Christmas, for goodness sake, and the only chance I get to take leave and spend time at home before facing the onslaught of emails and phonecalls in January. It's unfortunate that it's also the festive season for the flu bug too. *sigh*

I want to enjoy my time off to sleep with my girl, not isolating her from me or the hubby just because we are sick. It's just so da*n ironical that we get to spend time at home, AWAY from her.

I survived!

on my helper's first day off.

My girl was very well behaved today, since I brought her shopping for a few hours at Takashimaya. We survived her poop fest, she slept on her daddy's shoulders twice without the need for a pacifier, she helped her daddy to choose the colour of a shirt, etc.

I thought it was really going to be REAL BAD, but surprisingly, she didn't wail for my helper - she only cried for her feed, and then cried because she was sleepy. She was quite happy with me feeding, bathing, changing, and patting her to sleep.

I think I passed the motherhood test =)

The sweetest of all ... Thy name is Revenge

Remember how I used to whine about my girl prefering the Daddy instead of the Mummy? How she coos at him and gives him the sweetest smile of all? How green-eyed I was when she happily dives into his arms?

It's MY time now ... now it's MUMMY'S TIME! And it is sweet, oh such sweet revenge with a vengeance.

My girl wants ME, and if she gets plucked out from my arms unwillingly, she will wriggle and squirm. And if I turn to leave both of them, out comes the "WAIL". Now she dives into my arms happily and gives me the sweetest smiles.

Oh, and she loves to secretly vomit on the Daddy ... which he doesn't realise until she's gurgling happily in my arms.

*sigh happily*

Feeling alive ...

It's been a long while I actually took a bus home (yes I know I'm pampered). Usually I'm drive, I get a lift or basically just hail a cab. Today the inspiration just struck me - I mean, it's a free ride to "almost" home anyway. Besides. the weather is simply lovely. So why not?

On the way back, I was doing the scene watching bit, then it suddenly struck me - Geez, how long has it been since I actually felt like an individual, that I feel alive and actually feel happy about it?

I was watching the trees and plants by the roadside swaying in the strong breeze, coupled by the beautiful golden hue of the sunset, and I realised what I have been missing, all this while, couped up in my office, my home, and even my marriage.

I actually miss the feeling of freedom, the scent of breeze, the rustling of the trees, the warmth of the sun. Too much time spent couped up in the office, too much time couped up at home, and too much time couped up in a relationship. It just wonderful to have a breather - a mere 5 minutes walk was all it took to make me HAPPY to be alive. And happy to strut back to the grind of work, home and marriage committments and ... into the arms of my sweetie pie :)

In one day ...

She's officially 8 months old and she has started playing with her saliva.

No, not the mad abstract artist who smears her saliva over the leather couch with her hands or feet (whichever that hasn't been restrained). She already did that a few weeks back.

She's doing the "let's blow bubbles (or rather saliva)" routine. She just STARTED it today only.

I'm glad I didn't miss it :)

Turning 8 ...

In 1 day time, my sweetiepie will be 8 months old.

How time really flies! I was looking at this beanie cushion she used to sleep on when she was 1 month old (the beanie cushion hugs around her from head to toe, so she's very cushy and secure). Now, probably it's just big enough to be her pillow ;P Too bad I don't have a before and after picture!

Her top 2 teeth is out, so she has now a total of 4 teeth.

She now wants to drink water from a cup, so she has her own pink hello kitty cup I got from Daiso for $2.

She's a lot more vocal now - if anyone walks out from the room she's in, she'll protest. Not because that person is her favourite, but because they are "going out" to the "FUN outside world".

She will protest too, when sometimes I am busy with my things and don't pay her attention. Or, when I stand in front of her but don't offer to carry her. She'll protest because she WANTS me.

Now, that's just sweet sweet motherhood.

The guilt and perils of motherhood

A brief summary of what has happened (strangely 2 of my previous post prior to this went missing)

1. She had a fever persistently over 2 days, and we had another scare when the urine dip stick came back positive for bacteria
2. She was on stronger antibotics since she was suspected to have UTI again
3. Fever came down and I thought I could do with a little break - so I went out for dinner with my colleagues and left baby with hubby and helper.
4. Came back at 10pm and her fever was above 39 (highest was 39.7). Worse still, she was vomitting (I heard her gacking).
5. Rang the PD emergency line, but not avail. The operator advised us to bring her in to the A & E.
6. I had a real bad tummy ache just then, so my hubby and helper rushed to A & E, while I did my business. Then hailed a cab and rushed down.
7. I ran through the door and my poor baby was staring at me forlornly from the consultation room. She wanted me! So I carried her while we waited in another consultation room (for fever patients only) we were ushered in.
8. Doc *hmmm* and decided she needs to be warded for observation and tests, since it's not a good sign that she's been running a fever for 3 days.
9. Tears rolled down while waiting for the room. No 1 bedder available! So I asked if we could have a 2 bedder that was unoccupied to convert into a 1 bedder. Managed to get one *phew*
10. After settling in, I went back with my hubby (helper with baby) to get all the stuff - baby's pillow, clothes, toys, food, tioletries, our clothes, tioletries, etc. Basically we had like 5 bags of stuff.
11. Reached the hospital at 2am. Helper was crying because baby was crying - the tubing for the drip was put in while we were away. Had to comfort both.
12. Settled in for the night - I slept with baby in the cot and my helper in the other bed.
13. Baby hated all the medicine, and by morning, as long as the door was opened, she would jumped and stare at whoever came into the room. If it's the nurse or doctor, she would start fussing. She would cry as long as they touched her.
14. It got REALLY bad. She refused to eat her food unless I ate some in front of her - including all her favourite jar food and biscuits!
15. The worst was when they had to inject the antibotics - the timer would be set for 20 minutes, and we had to try distract her - we ended up allowing her to chew on all the tags/ labels on the toys and blankie. It actually worked.
16. 2 night of sleeplessness! On the 2nd night, she was so fussy, I ended up letting her sleep on my chest, while I sat up. Another position had her sleeping on my tummy/ arms so I had to bend my knees to support her. My whole body was aching the next day!
17. Fever finally subsided to 37-ish so we finally could go home.
18. Concluded not UTI, not rota virus *phew*
19. Panicked again when she started having rashes all over her body - face, back. legs, etc.
20. Rang the PD again and they said it means she had a viral fever, which explained the other non-symptoms and the tiny red dots which appears once the fever subsides.

And all this while I am planning to stop breastfeeding - I've cut down to 2 pump sessions each time and the stress (including work stress) now means I am producing barely enough for 2 feeds a day.

How do I feel about trying to stop breastfeeding? Guilty.
How do I feel about enjoying a dinner with my colleagues? Guilty.
How do I feel about being a mother? Lousy.

*sigh*

Check out my Slide Show!

The Making of a Glamourous Princess

Hahaha I couldn't stop laughing at this picture when my brother sent it over. She's so FUNNY and cute.

Anyway this poor girl is down with chicken pox and this 2 coming weeks IS PEAK AT WORK FOR ME! *argh*

as promised!

New photos of my girl that is ....

Enjoy!

Isn't she the sweetest baby ... *cooochi coochi!*

out for lunch

Today was one of those rare days we ventured out for lunch with Vanessa without our helper. We managed fine and I managed to coax her to sleep (finally!) without a pacifier *strut* I wasn't going to risk her flinging her pacificer on the hapless crowds walking below the bridge! So we (or rather I) managed to eat my dessert in peace and chit chat with the other couple we were out with.

I wanted to do some grocery shopping after lunch but her sleepfest was cut short by the loud thunder *sigh* so we headed home instead. She was quite good on the way home - just drinking her milk and watching the rain pelt against the window. I don't think I could have managed if she was wailing her lungs out!

Thank you, sweetie ...

What a happy day!

Vanessa is sure in a good mood today ... she's been doing the "SUNSHINE BEAM!" the entire day, even now!

I guess some things helped : -

1. she had a nice, LONG sleep - from 10 pm last night till 7 am this morning. It helped that she was sleepy through both her feeds, and just went straight back to slumberland after she spat out the teat.

2. she had a yummy and nutricious breakfast, lovingly cooked by moi. I got up to cook millet porridge for her, even though I really wanted to crawl back to the bed and zZzzZzz. Added her favourite side dish, which was sweet potatoes - she didn't quite finish all, but my dogs sure lapped up every bit that was left!

3. she got to go shopping at her favourite place - Daiso! I was happy too, since I had been wanting to make a trip to Daiso for quite some time. Bought some foodstuff as well as Christmas-y stuff (couldn't quite resist it - they were making announcements about it!). Got a cute reindeer headband for her too - she simply loves it!

Happy? You bet ...

Oooo Vanessa is jealous!

Well, it sure feels good!

Kaitlyn is the latest addition to my family, and she's the third golden piglet for this year!
She was fast asleep in my arms (didn't want to sleep on the bed) and I was trying to entertain my baby (who was being carried by my helper) at the same time.

My sweetheart let loose her inner green eyed monster and decided that mummy was being mean to her. So, I became invisible to her and she deliberately ignored me. How can it be? Oh yes man!

For example, she would turn her head in various directions when being carried. So I called her from behind, and her head didn't turn but she look straight ahead, even for a few minutes!

Later when I showed her the baby, she tried to pull away my fingers. She even pouted at me! She did show her displeasure to me on the way home. Basically, I became invisible. She refused to look at me or if she did, she refused to smile at me.

Anyway I paid back my dues, she made me carry her for at least 1 hour while she happily zzzzzZZzzZzz-ed away.

Hell hath known no fury like a baby scorned ;P

Ooops I did it again!

hehe ... on purpose though - this must be the thoughts of my sweetheart.

I read somewhere that babies have an acute sense of smell, thus they can smell the source of milk even a few feet away. I think my girl is putting this sense to another use - something similar to what my doggies do, that is, marking her territory.

She seems to be very fond of leaving some vomit on my hubby - so we can see the remnants of avocado, pumpkin or milk curds on his tee shirt after he has carried her. This morning, she left a big patch on his bermudas. Last night, she left 1 patch on my left arm, 1 patch on my right arm and 1 patch on my left shoulder. And ... she does it with glee - you can almost see that "evil" in her cheeky grin.

Ah well, as long as I'm marked hers, I'm fine with it - better than her not claiming to be my daughter. Gimme more!

Psst: I finally managed to capture that 2 teeth sticking out from her gums - will post it once I've fiz the picture up. The new camera is really doing a fantastic job! I love it!

an Ode to Poppy

I remember how

tall and strong you are;

I remember how

you terrorize me;

I remember how

you left 2 bitemarks on my arm.

 

But ...

 

I remember how

obedient you can be;

I remember how

loving you can be;

I remember how

you just wanted to be petted.

 

RIP, Poppy.

Trouble never comes without an accomplice

It's one thing after the other.

L got diagnosed with cancer and has to return to Manila for treatment. That leaves Cheyne in a bind, where is he going to go? He cannot stay indefinitely in a kennel.

Poppy had breathing difficulties, and found to have a growth in his throat. He underwent surgery on Wednesday - that cost my brother $2K alone, not including the "hospital stay".

Now, Rascal has a stone in his bladder, which accounts for his bloody urine. He's scheduled for an operation this coming Monday, which will cost me about $1K.

Poor dogs, Poor us ... I just hope I can strike toto (first prize!!!!) this monday, then it would help to cover the cost of the treatment for all.

*sianz*

MCUG and all ...

We brought her down for the MCUG test today - poor thing, hungry and thristy... no food or water since 6am. Then they sedated her, which made her even more cranky since she's sleepy and hungry and thristy. The procedure was pretty fast - over in less than 30 minutes! My girl was apparently very cooperative - just did what she had to do and to get out.

Then she got her jab (the 6-in-1) by another PD since her regular one had to attend an emergency case. Too cut a long story short, she wasn't pleased with this PD at all.

Then at 9pm, the PD called with the results of the MCUG test. Good news, no operation needed. Bad news, she has Grade 2 VUR, which means her reflux reaches her kidneys. Well, at least we can manage her problem since we now know it. She would be on antibiotics for at least 1 year, and we'll see how it goes from there.

Just so very tired now ... I'll write more when I'm in the right frame of mind.

The very last few straws ...

that breaks the camel's back figuratively ...

 

I've been having blocked ducts and plugged ducts for the entire week - so imagine my pain and the frustration at spending 1/4 of the day pumping away just because a few ducts refuse to copperate.

 

I've even rushed down to my PD's office to beg for a few syringes because the usual haunt didn't have stock and the other place I bought is the wrong brand (trust me, the brand DOES matter). I've also been to a lactation consultant for help. Well, that solved 1 problem, but a few others blocked  ducts came up as well, and now I'm battling this really stubborn plugged ducts.

 

I'm just so tired from all these, that I am serious comtemplating to give up breastfeeding for good. My girl refuses to latch on now, she even pushes me away! I can only console myself that she's teething so she doesn't want to hurt me by treating my breasts as a teething tool.

 

I've tried all kinds of tools that I shall not mention here, and I've even tried using baby's oil to soften the "plugged duct" to no avail. I will probably visit another lactation consultant 1 more time and if it doesn't work, I'm throwing in the towel. I'm really too tired to go on. I want to spend time playing with my baby, not desperately trying to clear ducts.

 

I've been neglecting my sweethear due to the increased time in pumping, so much so that she complained loudly when she saw me. She was being carried by the daddy and she more than readily hopped into my arms when I offered to carry her. She quietened down immediately and slump on my shoulder. The feeling ... wonderfully sweet ... after being so ultra miserably tired and suffering from that constant pulsing pain in the chest.

 

Even my dogs complained about the lack of attention. The boy doggie yelped so loudly one morning behind my back (I was getting ready to go to work) that I thought my husband stepped on his paws accidentally. My hubby claimed that he didn't even touch him at all! All this while, the dog looked so sad, with the ears flattened down and the poor suffering paw hanging up in the air. So my hubby checked his paws and there was no cut. The dog got up, still with the poor suffering paw held up from the offending ground. I was thinking what's wrong with him when the girl doggie came bouncing in and immediately the pain in that paw was forgotten. HE WAS FAKING IT! My goodness ;P

 

Anyway back to the original topic - yes I'm considering to give it up for good. I've done my best and it's just too bad that one breast isn't cooperating at all. However, even though my girl doesn't want to latch on anymore, there's this lingering sadness ... whenever I think that I wouldn't be breastfeeding anymore ...
 

Pop goes the tooth!

Yup! My girl has officially "teethed" and has a tiny white enamel peeking out from her lower gum!

Wow, and she's not even 6 months old yet :P There goes my plan for relatching her on =(

In a short span of time ...

How my sweetheart has changed in a short span of time ... All I want to do is to hug her close and smell her hair, kiss her little fingers and coo to her ...

Who does Vanessa look like?

So I guess this settles it for now ...

A boost to the faltering ego

My ego and self-esteem as a mother have been suffering blows since I've been constantly compared to my helper and how my sweetheart prefers my helper over me. Super irritating but a huge blow to my confidence - so please remember not to do it to your friends or siblings. Unfortunately nothing I can do to shut some of these "well meaning" people up.

It doesn't help that my girl plays the invisible mummy game these days, looking everywhere but my direction. And to rub salt to the wound, she would coo to her daddy and gurgle sweetly at my family when they carry her or play with her.

Work's been tiring so sometimes I conk off once I reached home, so contact time with her is almost zero ...

 

Then ....

On Wednesday I think, she's already fast asleep and I'm tucking into my dinner (9 plus) when I heard her screaming away. I went into the room and my helper was trying to calm her down. We guessed she probably had a nightmare so she's crying very hard. I offered to carry her and pick her up from my helper's arms. The moment she was on my shoulder she stopped crying! I went "WOW" secretly to myself and after 1 min she was fast asleep. So I tucked her into her cot, and she never stirred.

Then I came home late one night again (Friday) and she was fussing away (hubby carrying her) so I took over. After a while she went limp but was still awake - so i guessed she was already sleepy. I carried her, gently swaying while watching TV and after 30 mins, she dozed off without a single compiaint! I sat down and carried her for another 20 mins before the call of the nature was directed to me.

 

On Tuesday night I decided to play peek-a-boo with her and she giggled every single time the cloth was taken away with a flourish ... My heart was a puddle after that :P

 

This afternoon I let her nap with me (the hubby was redesignated to the floor again) and she slept so nicely ... for almost 3 hours! She would stir occasionally, open her eyes, look at me, smile sweetly then her eyes are closed again.

 

Thankfully my girl remembers to give me a little break now and then ... and I feel so much better as a mother ... all the more ready to grovel to her every whim and fancy ...
 

Food Fest

Nay, not for me. I was just telling this friend that I had totally no motivation to make anything at all (to bake or to cook) when I realised that, I do!

Not the usual cakes, cookies, dishes from recipes books but just simply mushy stuff for my little sweetheart.

I've made sweet potatoes, pumpkin and banana for her so far - I have yet to get hold of avocados.

It's not that difficult, but just the preparatory work can be quite tedious. After steaming, it's mashing, then straining, then cubing, then freezing. I've finally gotten hold of a new steel strainer, so it should be much easier to strain the food than with my plastic one.

I also find myself reading the superbabyfood book and other internet sources on what else I can prepare for my girl. The coming weekend I probably will make apple and pear puree for her, maybe peach too if I can get hold of some good ones. The dearth of good avocados is just driving me nuts.

I will probably buy some rusk biscuits for her, if I cannot find a suitable recipe. It's just so much fun to make for someone who is excited about the mush being served.

However, just a tiny complaint - she's showing more attention to her dad again *grrr*

Vanessa is 5 months old

The days seem to be crawling - the mountains of work, the lack of sleep, and suddenly, Vanessa is 5 months old.

To mark her "monthday", she had pumpkin puree which she enjoyed. She also had a taste of my blackdate mooncake - she just plonk forward and gave it a wet kiss when I showed it to her. To further "celebrate" her growing up, she had her next 6-in-1 jab :P Previously, she didn't really cry when she had her jab but this time ... wow ... was she furious ...

The hubby reported that when she had her first jab, she cried to indicate it was painful. Then when she was jabbed a second time, she was furious! It's was like "I already told you it's painful! Why did you jab me a second time!" It took a while to soothe her and the poor darling had tears rolling down her cheeks.

She's now playing the "invisible mummy" game ... she will look left, look right, look up, look down, but just not at me. I am not sure why she is angry with me - but *sigh* I am doing the best I can. Now that work has return to the sane level (but I still have some difficulty in coping with the new portfolio since I'm still doing part of the old portfolio) I can "afford" to take my leave - I still have some 18 days for the rest of the year, so I guess I could take 1/2 day of leave each week so that I could hopefully spend a little bit more time with her (more often than not, I end up conking out the entire afternoon).

She's still just as cute - I could had never imagine my baby being so sweet and cuddly, and the warmth that oozes out from the pit of my heart - no wonder the hubby is jealous ;P

Anyway since now my peak of the peaks is over, I'll have a little more time blogging about her and hopefully, to post up some of her pics soon!

False Alarm

Yesterday morning my cutiepie started having a mild temperature of low 37... so we decided as a precaution, to give her a dose of the fever medication. I was worried ever since I knew about VUR and another case of UTI so fast = bad news.

I called home in the late morning to check on her fever and it seems to be going up. I then called and bugged the clinic since her fever was on the rise and if the last lab test showed her in the clear. Only upon my third call and my girl fever in the low 38 did they say to bring her down. *sigh* I was in the midst of pumping milk and well, that didn't do much good to my supply so I stopped trying to stress myself and then tried to rush home. In the car, to my horror, the empty fuel tank warning light was on and it means I have to make a stop to the petrol station! *argh*

I called back to my mum's house and luckily my mum was in. So She helped me to send my girl and helper to the clinic while I rushed to get the tank filled and then to the clinic. I grabbed the first parking lot I came across and then ran up the slope (can hear my pump gear in my bag making a lot of noise!). My mum arrived just before me so thankfully I wasn't too late.

I checked my girl's temperature and it's now 38.4 so we slap on the fever pack on her forehead. The clinic also give her a dose of the fever medication upon our request and the PD's OK so that helped a bit. As we had to get her urine tested, we have to tape this bag to her and while we were preparing for it, she peed! so our chance missed and she was refusing to drink water or milk, we were wondering how long we had to wait ...

Anyway, my girl was very good and within 45 minutes we had a bag nicely filled and then it was sent to the lab for testing. In the meantime, while waiting for the test results, we saw the PD and he confirm again - not teething and generally she seems ok. He said could be a few things such as fake measles or dengue - so to watch out for the various symptoms.

Later the hubby came to join us, and finally the results came back - not UTI *phew* but the PD did urge us to consider the MCUG test again just to elminate the possibility. So we dutifully booked a date for her MCUG test as well as a date for her to be back to do another round of urine test.

Thankfully her fever came down this late morning so we are still observing ... not sure what's wrong with her, but hopefully nothing is wrong ...

Being a mother ... is ... not easy ...

Not a wee problem

As some of you know by now, my girl came down with UTI.

What I had expected to be a routine followup turned into one of mother's nightmare.

Why? When the first PD called and explain that it could be due to reflux and a MCUG test will probably be ordered, I got super confused - I had assume reflux = reflux after feeding, and I couldn't see the connection.

Then during the followup appointment, my PD (who was on leave last week) explained that some 30% of babies who have UTI before their first birthday are likely to be having vesicoureteric reflux.

What is vesicoureteric reflux?

Vesicoureteral reflux (VUR) is the condition in which urine travels backward from the bladder toward the kidney and may affect one or both ureters.

In most children, reflux is a birth defect and is caused by an abnormal attachment between the ureter and bladder with a short, ineffective flap valve. In some children, an infrequent urination pattern may cause reflux to occur.

When the "flap valve" malfunctions and allows urine to flow backward, bacteria from the bladder easily enters the kidney. A child with reflux is more likely to develop a kidney infection (pyelonephritis) that can cause kidney damage. More severe reflux is associated with greater kidney damage. When urine backflow is more severe, the ureters and kidneys become large and distorted. Although reflux can have these serious medical consequences, it is a "silent" abnormality, that is, reflux does not cause pain, discomfort or problems with urination.

Please refer to here for more information.

There are 5 grades to this - Grade 1 to 3 are usually not so serious, and can be treated with a long term daily dosage of anit-biotics for a few years, before the valves mature on their own. For Grade 4 & 5, it usually means a surgery to repair the valves are required.

The horror story was related by my PD, who told us why he would recommend us to do the MCUG test to rule out the above, or if present, to "fix" it.

He had to attend to an emergency case in which this boy almost drowned and they managed to save him. However, they noted his recovery was somewhat slow and he wasn't responding as well as they had expected. His blood pressure was a shocking 180+ over 100+ and they concluded he had a stroke. A brain scan revealed that it was so and they had to check for the cause of the high blood pressure. They subsequently found that the boy had 1 damage kidney and the other kidney was beyond repair.

He had grade 5 vesicoureteric reflux and it wasn't detected - he had frequent UTIs and the parents just bought anti-biotics off the black market and self-medicate. As a result, their boy almost died and today half of his body is still paralysed.

Scary? You betcha.

So what's this MCUG test? (Source is here)

Micturating Cystourethrogram (MCUG)
or 'Wee Wee Test'

This test is done to give us information about your bladder. This is the bag inside the body where urine from the kidneys is stored until it is emptied out when you go to the toilet.

The test involves passing a small tube into the bladder. The x-ray contrast, which is used to take pictures of the bladder, is run in through this tube.

After the x-ray nurse/doctor has washed between your legs/ s/he will insert a small tube, called a catheter, into the bladder. A local anaesthetic jelly is used to lubricate the catheter, which is held in place with a piece of sticky tape.

The doctor or radiographer will run warm x-ray contrast through the tube and into the bladder. After a short while when the bladder is full your child will pass urine around the tube and the tube will slide out. X-ray pictures are taken while the bladder fills up and during emptying.


Parent Points
The test takes about 30 minutes. Your child will be given a warm liquid, (X-ray contrast) via a tube into the bladder. This is done to show the bladder and urethra (its outlet tube), and to see if urine goes backwards from the bladder (reflux), or if there is a blockage.

I just feel so uncomfortable about the test - I probably need more time to recover from the "trauma" than my girl. Anyway we need to let the PD know if we want the test in 5 weeks time. I'll prob take a few days off just to make sure she is OK. *sigh*

And now it's my turn ...

to fall sick. I am now nursing a sore throat and a slight fever - so basically am stuffing myself with water and herbal drinks. It's not that bad except I feel a bit off balance (head feels heavy on the left side only). It's as if my body is telling me - ok you don't want blocked ducts? then fine, in exchange i give you this fever and sore throat... in exchange for pumping for 2 hours and still end up in agony, well, it seems like a fair exchange!

She slept very well on Friday night, either that or I was too conked out to hear her little whines on and off. I only woke up once or twice to switch her to another pillow (presumeably it was getting too warm for her) and pat her to sleep. We both enjoy 5 1/2 hours of very minimally interrupted sleep, so needless so say, she woke up beaming.

Last night with my fever and increasingly painful throat, I gave up the idea and so I had uninterrupted sleep for 7 hours in a stretch. Woke up with a tight throat (not to mention very sore) but the pump session must still go on. Surprisingly I finished in 30 minutes time (total 240ml - been a long while since I hit this volume) and I could enjoy my girl a little then I headed back to bed. Next thing I know, it's almost noon time already!

Hopefully tomorrow we won't have to wait too long to see the PD. If I feel better, I will head back to work since I can vividly imagine the pile of emails waiting to be answered. Hopefully after next week, I could take a day off to rest a little and spend some time with my cutiepie.

The Cheeky Girl

My girl is getting ever so cheeky.

To all IT professionals, my girl is just the one for you. Today we were having a little conversation (she's in a super good mood this morning after zzZzz-ing away for 5.5 hours with me) when she suddenly uttered this phrase "HELLO WORLD". I was bowled over ... of course it wasn't the exact words, but her sounds were so close to it (more like "ah-wo-were")! I guessed she is her daddy's daughter after all - like father like daughter!

She's also very smart - she keeps tracks who's been spending time with her and who has to do payback. She picked on her daddy today ... she gave him her sweetest smiles and gurgle at him for a little while then she started it .... "AIRRRRRRRRRR" she started complaining (basically ordering him to stand up and walk around) so I caught her cue and told the hubby she wanted to be on the shoulder ... well she wasn't quite satisfied with that position and continued her "AIRRRRRRRR" on and off to get him moving around! Then I walked past them and asked "You bullying papa is it?" She poke her second finger upwards and gave me a cheeky grin. Then, she promptly went "AIRRRRRRRR' again *rofl*

She has also mastered the basic techniques of grasping items - last night she was dozing off and sucking on her pacifier. Her hand slowly crept up to her face and then started fiddling with her pacifier. Suddenly she just drew out the pacifier with a flourish *TADAH* (with her arm flinging to the side) Now she is practising to putting in and out out her mouth her pacifier.

She also enjoys doing sit-ups now (not interested in flipping anymore!) so I will hold her hands and she pulls herself up a little then I'll further pull her into a sitting position ... she seems to enjoy this new "play time" haha ... she seems very pleased with herself for a moment and then proceed to lick my hands!

Hmmmm ... well worth the lack of sleep and the frustration of dealing with block ducts (yup they are still plaguing me) ... especially when I get to take a deep whiff of her head when I reach home ....

A teething problem ... resolved for now ...

Sometimes, a mother really has to trust her gut instincts ...

My girl temperature went over 38 degrees and I decided to bring her in to the PD - just to rule out viral infection, flu or even UTI.

Went in at 9:15am and I was no. 23 on the list ;P anyway my PD was on leave and so we saw his colleague instead. We were quite lucky - we saw her at about 10:30am or so ... and after I explained my concerns, she did a check on my girl - her gums, etc etc etc and she agreed with me there doesn't seem to be any obvious cause (no she's not teething!) so to do a urine test, and if it's negative for UTI, we will do a blood test to rule out dengue fever.

So we had a bag taped to her groin, and then the nurse said to hold her upright or sitting down. *grr* it should be try to hold her facing downwards! She did pee quite fast but most of it leaked to the diapers and we had this teeny weeny bit of urine just enough to do the strip test and the lab test. Otherwise we would have to hang around for another hour or so!

Anyway the strip test confirmed it's UTI - so she's given antibotics to take in addition to the panadol syrup which we are giving already ...

by the time we reach home it was almost 2pm, and I had to rush to pump while the maid took care of Vanessa ... then it was to the computer to clear some work... by the time I finished, it was time to go out to do a bit of grocery shopping for dinner.

Exhausted? You bet - after finish cooking dinner, I pumped again and just as I was about to shower, the hubby called. No cab, no bus, no nothing. To complicate things, my handphones didn't ring or recieve any SMS. Lucky we had a house phone! So I drove to his office and pick him up - came back had dinner and my long deserved shower. I conked out promptly by 10pm.

This morning I woke up at 4am to pump. By the time I ended, it was 6am and I was in the shower, trying my darnest to clear this extremely stubborn plugged duct. Eventually I surrendered and cleared up the stuff. Then I went to check on my girl, she just fell asleep after her feed, so I took over from my maid and my sweetie pie slept nicely in my arms, then on my chest ... we both had a nice nap together ... when she woke up, she was in a super good mood! Best of all, her fever was gone. What a relief ...

Work was busy - we had a meeting in the morning but I left early so I could pump. Nope, the duct is EXTREMELY stubborn. I rushed home after work, gobbled down my dinner while my girl was entertaining my family (extremely friendly today) and then rushed home. Eventually I did managed to clear the duct, but only while in the shower (the hot towel method never really work for me, the next best thing was just to stand in the hot shower and trying to clear with the syringe at the same time).

Now it's 10pm, and yes it's bed time for me soon. Will need to get up at 3am to pump again ... my timing is so super messed up =(

Oh, my poor little baby ...

A teething problem ...

My sweetie pie is running a low temperature since Thursday ... I thought so, but no one seem to believe me until I waved to them the thermometer with the temp reading. It's not very high ... 37.9 degree was the highest but it was enough to make her a bit cranky ... So we've been observing and giving her a dose of panadol now and then when it goes up ...

We called the PD's office this morning and asked if we should bring her down or just to a GP. They said she's most likely teething!

I peered at her gums, but I don't seem to detect any swollen gums ... her appetite is definitely off, so we have reduced her feed to 125ml and she's still not finishing it.

Last night she was sleeping with me, and she got up at 11pm for her feed - I got the maid to send her back to my room when she's done and although she "whined" a little in her sleep (a little patting and cooing and carrying didn't hurt) and we had a good night sleep till 6am! I got quite a shock too ... because my last pump was at 8pm. I had to carry her over to the maid, and it hurt so badly. I had to do a dual pump too, I couldn't take the "want to burst anytime" feeling. I'm not going to risk that tonight, so I'll have a quick pump again at 12 midnight (last pump was at 9pm) then I'll cuddle her over to my bed ...

It's not easy, since I'm already lacking sleep during the workdays ... but I wouldn't want to miss kissing my girl's hands and hugging her to sleep ... especially when she's growing so fast ... teething already!

Flipping Good Times!

Yay! She can do it as she has demonstrated to her proud parents!!!

Vanessa's First Foods - Purple Goo!

Vanessa's taking to solids very well =) Her first food - purple sweet potatoes! Yummy!

*grrrr*

1) My crazy neighbour is singing in his "operatic" voice again - it irritates the hell out of me cuz he thinks he's so damn good when he is not! Can you imagine, he singing in full blast, when he walks around the area at 9 plus PM - this is noise pollution!

2) Been trying to upload my girl's videos to YouTube but no go ... it just won't work! Just connecting, connecting, connecting .... *ARGHHHHH*

3) I'm sleepy, cranky, and I am waiting for 11 pm so I can have my last pump, scoop up my gal and zoom to dreamland!

Anyway just a pic of her to satisfy your cravings ...

Spending $$ again ...

Let me see ...

I just bought off the web (Bulk Purchases from a Forum)
1. 4 slings (for me, my sil and my sis) (Average $30 per sling)
2. Baby cubes - to store the minute quantities of the home prepared food (see here) ($8 per tray)
3. 2 Aromatherapy pillows for my gal to sleep better ($14 per pillow)
4. Some organic baby products (California Baby products and Gaia products) ($$$$$$ :P)

The baby cubes will be very useful when I need to batch process the next food item for my girl - will be much less messy than my ice tray and then it won't have to compete for "space" with my ice cubes ... and I like the Gaia Skin Soothing Lotion (smells so niceeee). Am trying California baby for the first time - so hopefully my girl likes it =)

Baby food

In case you are wondering which book I'm reading - it's this:



Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron







Some reviews did complain that since the author is a vegetarian, she is bias against feeding children meat. So decide for yourself.

I like it for the fact that I can make my own baby food, which would otherwise be available commercially (Gerber's, etc). With all the food scares recently, really, I rather spend a little time to make the food for her, than to buy it readily off the shelves.

Flip-a-baby

She was trying to flipped earlier this evening (for me) and she did a flip so beautifully with her elbows tucked in correctly to support her when she's on her tummy. She was so pleased with herself - she went "yay! yay! yay!" and smiled happily.

Too bad I didn't capture it with my camera ...

Vanessa is 4 months old!

Wow, it's been more than 2 weeks since I last blog and Vanessa is already 4 months old (and 1 day).

I've been really busy at work - trying to complete my work on time and scheduling my pump sessions in between and flying home early enough to catch her before she sleeps.

This isn't going to be in chronological order of events - I'll just ramble off the events as I remember it:

Flip-Over:

1. Last sunday (29th July), she did her first-assisted flip over. I held her leg and after much huff and puff, she managed to flip over.
2. On friday morning (3rd August), she proudly demostrated to her parents her first flip by herself without any assistance (the maid claims she did twice by herself on the day before but since I didn't see it, it didn't quite count!).

Bonding with Vanessa:

1. Last friday the office had a function so she arrived just before dinner time at the hotel to 'check in for the night'. Since I was pumping and it was way past her feedtime (she didn't want to feed though), so I nursed her for a shortwhile and then asked the maid to bottlefeed. She didn't want to! For the very first time, she rejected the bottle for my breasts! In fact, after she returned to my arms, she rooted so I let her suckle until she was contented - it made me turned up for the dinner so late that I only managed to grab a plate of food before the hotel staff eagerly pounced to clear up the buffet table. Even if they had cleared the buffet by the time I arrive, I wouldn't had mind.
2. Also, she slept with me on the bed, so I tended to her until it was 4am, and I passed her to my maid as I still had some meetings to attend to in the morning.
3. On Saturday, the hubby got relegated to sleep on the floor. Not because of some domestic dispute but so that Vanessa can sleep comfortably on the bed. She woke up a few times, but I managed to put her back to sleep - which included me sleeping in a sitting position with her sleeping on my chest. I managed to last till about 3am, then she wanted her feed so I handed her back to my maid. I was supposed to go back to get her but I conked out for the rest of the night ;P
4. Last night, I was quite worried because she basically almost slept the entire Friday away. By the time I brought her into my room (after pumping), it was 11pm and her feed was suppose to be at 12 midnight. Anyway, she ZzZZzZ-ed till 1 am then complained. So I carried her over to the maid, prepared the formula feed and went back to nap for 30 minutes while she was fed. This time, I set the alarm for ring in 30 minutes time, so I went over to fetch her back to sleep. She slept quite well, except a few times when she woke up fussing. I guessed correctly she wanted to burp, so she went back to dreamland happily after she was burped. By the time we woke up next, it was 6am! Anyway we changed her nappy (no poo poo even though she gassed me quite a few times earlier) then I brought her back to bed and I got my pump gear ready. Then I turned to look at her, she was holding her new comforter and smiling so sweetly at me. So I got the hubby up, shifted her to the centre of the bed, so that he could play with her.
5. Tonight we shall see how she will sleep. I noticed that whenever she has something new - new mattress, cot, bumper, pillow, comforter, whatever, she sleeps very well in it (like breaking in the item!).

Her first solids:

1. Er, not quite yet. I've been reading the super baby food book given by my Sis-in-law and it seems like the choices of first solids are: banana, avocado, sweet potato and commercial rice cereal.
2. I managed to hunt down organic sweet potatoes (4 small ones that cost $4!), steamed it, pureed it, strained it and it's now sitting in my fridge / freezer. I have 2 portions for tomorrow and Monday morning - 1 teaspoon each, and we shall see how she takes to it. I have a feeding spoon somewhere, so just need to dig for it.
3. No pictures of it since it's just purple mush (we do have purple sweet potatoes, just like there's blue potato and blue corn).

Bad Mummy!:

1. Went home later by an hour or so one day after work, and she was already fast asleep when I reached. So I started on my dinner, then she stirred a little (she was asleep in the sling) so the maid walked over with her. She opened her eyes and looked at me. I smiled at her but she just glared at me and closed her eyes. I knew I was in for it!
2. Next morning, I got it from her. She was very happy to have her Daddy carrying her (bias! he was even later than me!) but the moment she saw me she started making unhappy noises. Usually she's quite happy to lie next to me and watch me pump for a little while. That morning, the moment she was put on the pillow next to me, she complained immediately and basically was quiet once she wasn't near me! Geez ... OK I got the message out and clear!
3. So that day, I knocked off just 15 minutes late and then zoomed home ... I reached home and she was just fussing to sleep. The moment she saw me she stopped and she didn't complain about me carrying her. She allowed me to carry her for almost 30 minutes without any complaints! She didn't sleep but seem to be enjoying my presence. After that, she even entertained my Aunt a little while more, then she slept. The morning after, back to normal, she smiled at me again and we continued our morning ritual. *sigh*

I'll post up the pictures and videos once I get around to downloading it.

*gasp*

My girl is in a hurry to grow ... she just cleaned out 160ml (that's 5.5 oz)! and her last feed was only 145ml 2 hours ago!

At the rate she is going, my milk supply is hardly going to be enough for her! I just took out 1 pack of my FBM and starting thawing it. The only good thing is that each of my FBM is 160ml - so it makes it easy to defrost and to bottle each time.

I am still gaping at the empty bottle ....

Other than eating, sleeping and crying ...

Vanessa is enjoying a brand new hobby ... dancing! and oh, she's officially starting on the 140ml feed ;P

Growing too fast ...

Vanessa is faring quite well after her jab. other than being a little cranky due to the heat, she only had a slight temperature twice.

She also had 2 patches of rashes, but since I couldn't lay my hands on the Avent "Magic Cream", I bought Gaia Soothing Skin Lotion instead, and it worked very well - 1 patch is gone and the other seems to be healing very well.

She also upped her quota - chugging down 145ml of milk once, to our disbelief. She had 125ml and then cried for more ... so I gingerly poured another 40ml for her to take and she had 20ml and promptly spat out the teat. For now, she seems to hover between 110ml to 125ml - when she starts to drain the 125ml dry, that's when all the Avent 125ml bottles goes into storage (I have 7 of them) and the 260ml comes into play.

She's also preferring to sleep on her tummy and last night, she only woke up twice for milk (from 10pm to 7am) which is quite a feat since she will usually wake up at 10pm, 1am & 4am before her next feed 7am. I just hope she will start sleeping through the night soon!

For the last week, I didn't have much time to spend with her - when she's awake, I'm pumping milk or fast asleep. When I'm awake. she's fast asleep. I had been ZzzZZzzZ away by 9 pm almost every night - just very exhausted from work and the lack of sleep. My pump cycle had to adjust accordingly if I couldn't wake up at 11pm to pump - waking up at 4 am to pump instead and then trying to grab another hour of sleep before it's time to wake up for work. Thankfully there's the weekend to do a little catching up on, but it's just too short.

I'm planning to buy a mattress so that I can sleep on the floor with her during the weekends. She's beginning to want to flip, so I guess it's safer for us to sleep on the floor instead.

I'm also planning to go for the next family photoshoot by end of the month, before she outgrows the "Me" tee I bought her. I bought some other clothes for her - sizing 12 to 18 months but I doubt she can fit in at that age! So We've been clearing out the smaller clothes and digging out all the clothes we thought she will take ages to fit in (how very wrong!) and packing her wardrobe accordingly.

At 3 months and 2 days old ...

My little sweetheart is now weighing in at 6.3kg and has grown to 62cm long/ tall. Wow, so I wasn't wrong when I said she was growing by leaps and bound!

The PD gave her a clean bill of health and progress, as the parents, we are happy and relieved. She also took in 2 jabs of vaccine and recieved another orally. How is she doing? Sluggish and tired and not taking in much milk, but so far no fever yet. She seems to be ok, but will have to keep an eye on her. I've taken leave for tomorrow to watch over her, so hopefully everything goes well *fingers crossed*

Vanessa is 3 months old!

How time flies, she's already 3 months old and she's grown so much - exactly by how much I'll find out this coming Thursday when we bring her for her next jab.

I'm now busy with work - the pace is picking up and I'm trying to cope with the flow. I still have so many new things to pick up and I hope I can do a good job. Not a matter concerning rice bowl, but the personal satisfaction of having done well in my job. Which brings me to my other full-time "job" as a mummy.

How am I faring? I think so far so good - I've learnt not to get upset when she cries. I'll let her cry it out while trying to soothe her, compared to a few weeks back when I'll just break down. I've learnt new tricks to try to entertain her - old songs come trickling to my brain cells as I sing to her. I'm just glad she likes my singing, I am tone deaf by the way!

How is my girl faring? Oh, she's growing by leaps and bounds, and she amazes me with her vocab. On a few occasions, she has made sounds that are so appropriate that we cannot help but be amazed by her - just too bad for my hubby he missed it all.

Example 1, I was carrying her when my maid came to show me a ropeburn on her finger, telling me how my naughty dog jerked the leash when my tiny one said, "HAR?"

Example 2 (this one I'll probably remember it for life), my maid was carrying her and I said to her, "Mummy's at home because I'm not feeling well, but tommorrow Mummy has to go back to work the whole day ok?" Her response? "UH-OH!" I'm wondering if it's too many ICQ beeps on my PC when she was nestling in my tummy.

I'm so afraid I'll miss so many more of her little moments, but I'm sure she will reserve some very special ones for her mummy...

Vanessa is upset ...

with us picking her up late from my mum's house.

Today I left work slightly late as I had the urgent need to pump ;P so by the time we reach my mum's place it was 7 plus. She was asleep but she was frowning!

My maid said she started fussing by 4pm and she told baby that mummy and daddy are still working so to be a good girl and sleep first. She did! And then, she woke up at 6pm and when she realise no signs of daddy and mummy, she threw a tantrum apparently and wailed angrily. So my maid had to pacify her and put her in the sling, then she went back to sleep.

We quickly finished our dinner, and she did wake up briefly to peek at her daddy who was carrying her. I guess that was good enough for her and then she continued to dream about milk bottles in dreamland. On the way back, she woke up and stare at me throughout the journey home, not making any noise.

We had a small window of time to play with her as it was nearing her next feed - she's sleepy but getting hungry so she's just contented to be carried. For a short while, she chatted with us, making her baby noises, then she got cranky and started to bully her daddy. So I got the maid to check her diapers while I went to warm up her milk. After her feed, she's now fast asleep and I hope she doesn't wake up at 3 am and refuse to sleep till 6am!. She does it from time to time, and it's quite tiring for my maid. Thankfully I'm on 1/2 day leave tomorrow, so if she does that, I can take over in the afternoon and let my maid rest a bit. I'll probably tuck in early tomorrow too - been surviving on 4 to 5 hours of sleep during workdays and it's getting to me. Hmmmm ... never quite expect myself to survive on such little sleep, afterall I'm well known to need my 8 hours of beauty sleep, else I'll turn into a sulky beast hehehehe

Sing a song of teddy bear ...

Teddy bear, teddy bear, run upstairs.
Teddy bear. teddy bear, say your prayers,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn off the lights,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, say good night.

We've been playing this nursery rhymes CD for her and this song is stuck in my head for today (previously was hot cross bun something).

As usual, in the evening she's tired but she kept her eyes wide open. We did make good use of the time by talking to her and playing with her for a little while. She was quite happy, smiling away at her precious daddy. She also reserved a smile for me when I kissed her (yup, my heart melted like a piece of butter on a heated pan).

After the fun, she was contented to let me carry her and sing to her. I was (and still is) very tired and I could really only remember the song above so I sang to her like a broken record, just repeating that 4 lines. She was SO contented, she even allowed me to sit down (normally she wants me to walk around). After a while, without me realising it, she dozed off quietly. The feeling is ... so sweet that I let her continue to sleep in my arms for the hour, until I really had to make a trip to the loo.

The time spent with her now seems so urgent. Why? Since I have returned to work, I hardly get to look at her, smell her, cuddle her, kiss her ... it's a moment to be savoured, but one that passes too quickly ...

Truly it's Father's Day

hehehe... what a Happy Father's Day my girl presented to my hubby today (in addition to the brand new daddy's baby couture sling diaper bag, a Tatty Bear holding a cloth greeting card, and a photo frame of her in it - courtesy of mummy's bank)!

The maid and I went to do marketing and I had to run errands as well, so he was left alone with the baby for about 2 hours. When we came back, he reported that baby was crying and she pooped so much until her clothes were stained as well. So he singlehandedly cleaned her up and changed her! Not only that, when we were back, I egged him to bathe the girl - he promised to do so yesterday. Well he did (with the maid guiding him), and I think it boosted his confidence further!

It's truly a father's day celebration, since he did almost all of what a father should do (not just celebrating the fact he's the father). I'm sure Vanessa is proud of her daddy passing the challenges she posed with flying colours!

My girl learns how to play II

I managed to film a short clip when she first started learning how to play with the toys on the bar. Most importantly to me, it captured her smiling so sweetly!

Sweet memories are made of these ...

From a mother's view, one of the sweetest sight must be of her baby asleep in her arms.

I finally managed to take a picture of her sleeping in my arms, after numerous attempts (thank goodness for digital cameras!) and I got a few which left me relatively satisfied (but not quite a replica of my view).

It won't be long before she ditches her mum for her friends, but for now, let me savour the moment and a photo to remember this moment by.

A baby comes in between Rascal and Phoebe

Pretty babe!

Some friends gave us some very pretty and very frilly dress for our girl when she turned 1 month old. We just took it out recently and decided that we should let her wear it before she outgrows them!

Today we had a lunch appointment with one of our friends and so she got dressed in one of the frilly dresses. We also had this gift of a headband, so we decided to let her wear it just for the fun of it - or rather my own amusement.

I did had a good laugh when we put it on - just see her expression!

Anyway there will be an opportunity for her to dress up again for tomorrow's family lunch - we're celebrating Father's Day!

Conversation between a mother and her little girl

Little girl: *smiles* Yay!
Mother: Ooo cutie pie!
Little girl: *gurgles* Oooocha!
Mother: Oooocha too!
Little girl: *give a little laugh* *kicks her legs* *stares at her mother happily*
Mother: Goochi gooochi!
Little girl: Yay!
....

You get the idea. Anyway, this is my conversation with my girl this morning, and the longest we ever had to date - about 10 minutes!

Needless to say, she had me bowled over and now I am ready to grovel at her feet - any time, any day.

Finally I get to bake! Butter Cookies!

I hadn't baked in the longest time, the last "adventure" being my annual Christmas cakes last December.

Before I returned to the daily grind of work, I decided I MUST bake something.

Usually, given that I had the urge to bake, I'll normally choose to bake a cake, since I find it a whole lot easier than cookies. However, since I was pouring over my 3 ingredient cookbook, I found this recipe which seem simple enough so lure me back to the cookie baking business.

The ingredients that were called for:
1 cup Butter (I used SCS salted butter)
2/3 cup lightly packed soft brown sugar (The recipe originally called for golden granulated sugar)
2 and 2/3 cup Plain Flour
Plus Demera Sugar to roll the cookie dough in (I added some edible red glitter too)

I also added 2 teaspoon vanilla essence and some red food colouring (I wanted pink cookies! but they turned out peachy colour :P)

The method? Oh so simple!

1. Heat the oven to 160 degree Celsius.
2. Cream butter and sugar together till fluffy. Add Vanilla essence and beat a little more.
3. Stir in flour and mix into a soft dough (non sticky!).
4. Tear a piece of baking paper and shape the dough into a long roll on it. You can have it round or square or rectangle.
5. On one side of the baking paper, sprinkle a thick layer of demera sugar.
6. Coat the dough with the sugar. Wrapped with the baking paper when done.
7. Put into the fridge to chill for at least 30 mins (I put mine overnight).
8. Unwrap the dough and cut into slices. Place on baking sheet (I put a layer of baking paper on top) at least an inch apart. The cookie will still expand somewhat.
9. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or till golden brown (depends on how big your cookies are).
10. Tadah! Lovely with coffee, tea or just on its own!

Enjoy!

My disaster for this bake? I lost one of the paddle for my mixer so I couldn't cream the butter and sugar with my mixer =( I had to cream with a wooden spoon which I hadn't done so since *count count* GEEZ! 20 years ago! Anyway thankfully the cookies turned out fantastic!

Heartache of a mother

I resumed work on Tuesday as planned and sent my girl to my mum's house early in the morning with my maid. She seems to enjoy the fuss from my mum and after settling her stuff (including the bouncer), we left for work.

Work was a blur - I had a hard time trying to recall what I did before I went on maternity leave and picking up from there. I still have the boxes of files to clear - must do it before the end of next week! I have 2 pictures of my girl - one on my shelf, the other just next to my computer. When I look at her picture, I have this warm fuzzy feeling but also missing her terribly.

Pumping at work was not quite pleasant - felt very self conscious even though I had my own room. I couldn't have any letdown so it was so tedious trying to clear my breasts. Didn't have much - about 150ml , 50ml short of my usual pump. Anyway, I wasn't too worried since I had cart the entire frozen stock over to my mum's place so my girl will have enough BM for now.

At the end of the day, my hubby made the effort to knock off on time so we "zoomed" home to find my girl crying. So we went to wash our hands and as usual, she coo-ed to her father and fell asleep in his arms. I took over from him after I had finished my dinner and she opened her eyes a little and then dozed off. Then she opened her eyes again, this time wide open and she saw that it wasn't her daddy, she wailed loudly! So ended up my hubby carried her while eating his dinner. Later my maid carried her and she was awake - I held her hand and she made a very angry noise and pulled her hand away! *sigh* She didn't want me near her, and same thing happened when we reach home. So I just pumped and went to bed early.

Next morning, I woke up and baby was awake already. So I went to sayang her and again she refused to let me touch her! I was so upset but I had to pump, so I left her with the maid. While pumping in my room, I wept because I was so upset by her rejection. Then my hubby entered with her asleep in his arms, asking if I wanted to nurse since she may be hungry. I complained and said she is bullying me - you know what this little baby did? SHE SMILED IN HER SLEEP! *argh* I can't believe it!

Anyway, I did try to nurse her and she allowed me to, without any fuss. In fact, she even fell asleep on my breast, so I eased her in between my legs (she was sleeping on my pillow) with her head resting on top of my knee. I had to continue pumping since she fed briefly on that breast before falling asleep. Halfway through, she moved and wriggled her way towards my tummy so that her head is facing my tummy and her body closer to my tummy. After all she put me through, she makes up to me by snuggling up to me. Ya, I am willing to be "ill-treated" by her anytime, as long as she makes it up to me.

This morning? She was so smiley to me and was willing to let me carry her without any protest, even falling asleep without fussing. I almost couldn't bear to go to work ... When I returned from work this afternoon, she woke up to welcome me home! She smiled and coo-ed a little to me (not as much as she does to her daddy though!) and snuggled in my arms and fell asleep again.

*sigh* ...

Till tomorrow comes ...

I'll start work tomorrow and today was spent ferrying things to my mum's house and trying to figure out what else we need to bring over.

My girl is still unused to the place but she's doing ok. We've managed to cart the frozen BM over, as well as most of the things she need to use. I've tried ordering the diapers for delivery for somehow they are uncontactable today. I guess I'll just have to try again tomorrow.

I've yet to finish packing my wardrobe, things I can still fit in to wear to work. I also need to make sure I have all my pump equipment packed to go, which means I'm dependent on my Avent tonight and for the first pump tomorrow, and thereafter until it's the weekend :P I'm bring my Ameda pumps and leaving it at my workplace.

Feeling very apprehensive ... not sure if I can cope at work since I'm handling a new portfolio, or if my pumping is disruptive. I can only hope for the best ....

Pavlov's conditioning

Went to my mum's house today for lunch and upon arrival, it's my girl's feeding time.

 

So I helped to make the bottle of FM and when I turned around to pass to my maid, my girl started smiling happily as she focused on the bottle. She even licked her lips!!!!!! She sure knows where her milk is coming from!

 

Maybe I should just video this as an exercise of the classic Pavlov's conditioning!

Mornings should be made of these ...

Note: Emotional motherly stuff again

Yesterday morning I woke up and went to get my pump gear from the kitchen. At the same time, the maid was going to the fridge to get a bottle of milk for my girl. So she asked if I wanted to breastfeed. Baby had last taken her milk about 4 hours ago and so I hesitated. I didn't want her to cry blue murder at my breast if the milk wasn't coming out fast enough. Anyway I took up the challenge and carried her into my room - notified the hubby so that he would be on hand to help me to burp baby.

So we started feeding - she was still sleepy but she licked a little before proceeding to latch on. She would start and stop, and in the intervals lick a bit again before latching on. She had enough from one side after she start crying a little and doing the merlion act. The hubby carried her a little and burped her while I adjust to switch her to the other breast. She latched on quickly this time and after a few minutes, fell asleep with her mouth opened. I raised her head up a bit so it would be easier for her to burp and I continued to watch her sleeping. After a while I got pretty tired too, so I gingerly eased myself lower and adjusting for her to be sleeping on my lap. I held her hand so I would know when she moves and we both napped together. She was asleep for 1.5 hours on my lap! I guess the position was very comfortable and comforting to her - she was sleeping on her side and her body was sort of wrapped around mine.

I am not sure how to describe the feeling I had while watching her, but it's a really nice one. Nay, I didn't cry - but I did think if every morning could start like this, it would be so nice... so utterly blissful ...

New photos of Vanessa

Probably the last batch I'm "free" to update and upload for some time ... I'm returning to work on Tuesday and I'm printing her pictures to bring to office so I can see her sweet sweet smile in front of me. But most of all, I'll miss her sweet sweet smell ...

My girl learns how to play!

... with the toys hanging from the bouncer bar!

Today we were busy packing up and cleaning out the kitchen and my girl wanted some attention. So I put her on the bouncer and took her hand to hit the toy with the rattler. She looks rather amused but just continued to stared at me. I guess she wanted me to play with her so I played with her a little while and then left her in the bouncer while we cleaned the kitchen (keeping a watchful eye on her). After 10 minutes later, she got bored and cried for attention, so we coo-ed and patted her to sleep.

Later on, after she had her milk, she didn't want to sleep - but we haven't had lunch and were hungry (it was close to 3pm). So the maid put on the bouncer and left the "car seat motion simulator" on (which basically just the bouncer vibrating like a very gentle massage chair). So we were tucking into our lunch (instant noodles) and my maid said, "Look! She's playing with the toy!" True enough, she was using her hand to hit the toy (the one I was playing with earlier). I was so elated - but sad at the same time. My girl is learning things so quickly, and she's doing so many things for the first time on her own. Once I start working again, I'll miss so many of these little "first"s.

I know it's no big deal to some - for me, it is. Every time she does something new and I don't get to share it with her, I feel an stab of envy and regret, "Why wasn't I there to witness it?" She's was no piece of cake (conceiving her and carrying her in my womb to birth), so I treasure every surprises she has in store for me.

She has shown me that I have patience I never knew I had, and for that, my 2 dogs should be very thankful to her.

My princess is now 2 months old!

How times flies. She's now 2 months old, can smile, can laugh, can frown, and pout too!

She's also learning how to bully her dad, as well to manja him by making "I'm so poor thing" mini cries when he's carrying her in the evening.

When the sun sets ...

and Vanessa can tell that her day is coming close to an end. So she fusses because it's no more playtime!

At laest I believe so... I remember that my nephew used to fuss at 7pm, because that's when his mum returns home and he knows it's that time of the day by 1) setting of the sun = the sky is turning dark 2) the theme song from the HK drama "Kinship" ...

So is it the same for Vanessa? I think so ...

Do you know she can laugh already? Sometimes I am so jealous of my maid, when my girl smiles and laughs with her ... but in a way, it makes returning to work easier. I do hope she will miss me (or at least snuggling up to my chest) but not so much that she will wail the house down. I don't think she knows who is her mummy, but I do hope she can recognise me soon ... I'm trying to use the sign language to indicate "Mummy" and "Milk" - so I hope it's something she can learn to communicate.

Today she indicate she wanted more BM by pulling at my breast when I thought she was done already. She put her fist on my breast and tried to push towards her 3 times! I was quite impressed - I suppose all babies can do that but it's the first time I realise she is really growing VERY fast and learning a lot of things too *sigh* and I'll be starting work soon =(

Today is the day ... Baby bathtime!

No, not that my girl never had a bath before, just that today is the very first time I bathe her myself! Of course with guidance from the maid - all that bathing lessons from the pre-natal and after birth lessons simply cannot be recalled once I'm holding the baby in my hands and with her staring at me with her eyes wide open.


When I started undressing her, she started smiling - she does really enjoy her bathtime! I also cleaned her since she had pooped and then wrapped her in her bathing cloth.


She did protest a bit intially, when I was washing her face. She's probably saying,"Hurry up! I wana get into the water NOW!!!". Her protest grew louder when I was washing her hair and she promptly smiled when she was put into the water. I couldn't quite support her with my left hand while trying to wash her with the washcloth. So I switched sides since the FP bathtub I bought had a feature to help better support infants *phew* After that, it was a breeze!


It wasn't as difficult as I thought, but she's getting bigger and heavier, making it slightly hard to hold her and wrap her with the towel after I'm done.


Anyway, this is her after her bathtime. She does look very pleased and I'm very happy she enjoyed her bathtime with me!

If you are wondering which bathtub we bought, this is the one:

http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2011&e=detail&selcat=bgpty&pid=35265

The agony of blocked ducts

It's the same one I had yesterday, which my girl kindly cleared for me this morning by latching on and patiently sucking for 19 minutes. Then the next round, it's blocked again! No matter how many rounds of pumping, hot towel massage, cold compress and latching on, it simply refused to go away and simply grew bigger, sorer and harder like a very angry pimple on a very oily face.

So I took my syringe and started to clear the nipple area, and then - my syringe broke!!!! I had to bear with the agony for another few hours, waiting for the hubby to return so we could go and buy a new syringe from the pharmacy. So we had our dinner, and I decided to have a quick pump first. I managed only to clear half of the lump, but still, it simply refuses to go away, despite my pleading and my massaging. The hubby reminded me that I should still have 1 spare syringe and he was right! He fetched it for me and I started the clearing and tested with a quick pump. Nope, so back to a second round of clearing and suddenly a stream just shot out! I quickly grab my pump and starting pumping again, and that lump was cleared within 2 minutes. What a sweet relief! Not to mention, that lump alone was containing 40ml of milk out of the 100ml I expressed during the session. I am NOT kidding.

I had just changed my bed sheet today, but it's worth it having my breast milk sprayed all over it as long as that duct is cleared! *phew*

psst: the syringe is without the needle, just the tube and the plug.

Outdated Mummy

Geez, I'm so outdated with so many things, for example, I didn't even know that Flickr is with Yahoo! now ... and I didn't even know how to use the tags/ photo URLs anymore. So ... I cheated :P

The other things I'm outdated on? Baby learning tools - I didn't even know how to search for baby flash cards! Anyway thanks to my sister, I've downloaded some and printed them. Now to buy a laminating machine in case my girl decides to chew on the card instead.

Went back to the office yesterday and I was shocked to see the reception area gone. Yup, they are doing renovations to the place and it has moved to another floor. Thank goodness my office still remains the same (that is, the mess) so that's some comfort in the familiarity.

My girl was generally docile for the first 20 minutes or so (she was sleeping) until she decided to show her girl power (no give face to mummy dearest) and decide to wail my office down *sigh* Tried patting, walking, nursing and to no avail. My colleagues helped and took over her for a little, she quieten down for 10 minutes then she started again. Found out in the end, her diapers were dirty and she wanted a change. So my sister helped and when she was finishing, Vanessa decided to sneeze and *poot* some stuff shot out and didn't quite land accurately within the diaper area ... you can imagine ;P anyway barely 20 minutes later she started crying again - this time, she just wanted to fart! So after that, she was all nice, sweet and calm. Took a ride home from my colleague and she went to sleep quietly. I'm not going out with her alone EVER again - not in the near future at least!

Suddenly, I feel so out of touch from the world out there ... but really, not that I mind. My girl is providing me with enough entertainment and stress every single day to keep me on my toes!

Funny Shots - Photo 1

I'm going to start a series of her funny poses, so look out for them!

Today's picture is ...

First Month Celebrations Cakes

The first month celebrations was well ... I survived with my breast inflamation. Other than that, the only thing worth mentioning really was the cakes we got.

The ones we got for the family members were ordered from http://www.sweetestmoments.com.sg/. The pricing was reasonable, the packaging was "Oh so cute!" and the stuff in it, YUMMILICIOUS! I know because we devoured the items from one of the boxes (and I kept the box as a keepsake!)

For our friends who came for the celebrations, we gave them cupcakes that we ordered from http://www.cupcake-momma.net/. I had a hard time choosing the designs! They were so pretty, petite, and delicious! *slurp*

So if you are planning for your baby's first month celebrations, do consider ordering from above. This is not some paid advert, but rather comments from a very satisfied customer!