Sunday, April 22, 2007

Obligations ...

One thing I dislike about is having "well meaning" visitors that wants to comes to my place to visit. They will setup a time with my mother and then my mother will just announce.

So when I get frustrated, they say "Oh, it's not nice to turn them down since they come with well meaning, and they say they hadn't seen you in a long time". My grandaunt, ok, never mind, because she's such an old lady, so I won't mind giving in to her.

On the other hand, this other person, after the huge fuss I kicked up the last time, my mother again gave me the above reasons. I said no and I refused to entertain this "family friend". She hadn't seen me in years, so what difference does it make anyway? My mother called for back up and got someone to call me, and this time, basically I yelled down the phone. I don't mind if they want to come another time, or call first to check with me. I dislike it when they arrange it, I said no, and they try to change my mind by saying not nice. My retort? I never agreed for that person to visit in the first place. Besides, how on earth am I suppose to rest if they say come at 2pm, and often reach at 3pm, and if I had to pump milk, they won't be happy since I'm not outside to entertain them. It's a no-win situation, and I might as well just put a stop to it since they just add to my stress and BP. It's like giving an inch, and they want a foot. I have limited my family visits to just weekends and my mother's to alternate days - I cannot cope with the constant well-meaning "intrusions" since I need to start dealing with motherhood and grapple it well before my confinement lady returns home and I return to work.

Perhaps my temper is getting worse, but it doesn't help if they cannot respect my rights as a mother and my home as my place. Call me stubborn too, if you want, but I'm tired and all I want is a little peace in my own home.


MommytoMeia said...

Hugz can understand how u feel, so I always have this 'rule', NO VISITORS for the first 2 or 3 wks . I know it gets kinda crazy n at times old folks, wanting to be nice n all, they give their two cents worth, which actually can be quite frustrating at times.

muminthemaking said...

ya, wait till they all give you contradicting advice. The last time I threw a mega hissy fit, i had one coming after the other - one said to rest, one said to get up and walk more (i just settled in for a rest), the other again come in and say should sit to rest. It was all within 10 minutes of each other and I was so annoyed!

I already had to deal with the CL and the maid who thinks formula milk is the best milk in the world. Allo, she's getting chubby cheeks too even though she's on BM! My Cl though, very fast, can read my face and will agree with me once I disagree with her views. At least I can get some things done my way sometimes ;P

Meihua said...

100% agreed. i need my own bonding time too.

Anonymous said...

from readin a couple of posts.. seems like yer CL is a good face-reader.. read baby's face, read yer face.. when she's not being a CL, does she read fortunes? :p

lol.. anyways.. sorry i'm so late in comin on to wish u congratulations! :) i'll read all the other posts.. though i have a couple of thoughts such as 'you perfectionist' and your obsession with vol.

fwiw, i think yer both doin a great job!


muminthemaking said...

good question, but you asked a little too late - she just left yesterday!

*sigh* i sure do hope so that I'm doing an ok job!