4 months and more ...

In case you are wondering about Ian, he's doing fine.

He's very, very cute now and he can laugh out loud! He loves to stick out his tongue too, and it makes him doubly cute. He may be starting to teeth soon too. When I stroke his face, his mouth will follow my fingers and try to chomp on it. He still doesn't have much hair, but it's OK. It will probably be like V's, slow to grow but when it gets down to it, he will have lots of hair!

He's already 4 months plus and I've started him on solids. He has tried rice cereal and sweet potatoes. He will be starting on banana soon. How do I know he is ready for solids? You should see the way his eyes follow the spoon when we eat ... he gives that "I am hungry, feed me!" look when he watches us having our meals. The other day, I brought out his bowl of cereal to him. His face immediately lighted up, gave me a BIG smile and stuck out his tongue happily. When I was feeding him, he fought with me for the spoon! He grabbed it so tightly that I couldn't pull it away, and eventually I had to peel his fingers off it! I'll post the pictures when I get down to downloading it from my handphone and camera.

Today he took a really lovely picture with his sister, just too bad my handphone camera suck big time, and the picture quality is soso. I'll try to fix it up before posting here.

Yes, it is possible to love kids equally, but differently =)

There is not better time than now ...

What prompted this thought?

2 remarks that my mummy friend's hubby and another mummy friend made ...

this hubby of my mummy friend - it's the first time we actually had a chat ... I was having a late breakfast with another daddy friend, when I spotted him and invited him to join us. Our girls were in the same dancing class, so the respective spouses were accompanying them for the class, while the other halves were somewhere having a break and time to themselves.

Anyway, this hubby of my mummy friend, let's call him A. We were talking about our kids, about the physical traits that they inherited from us, when he mentioned about kids who were bad and then turned good and vice versa. I thought about how I felt about teenagers before, and I still shudder at the thought of my kids turning into pre-teens. But maybe he is right, kids who are bad, can still turn out alright later.

Another mummy friend shared that she overheard this conversation - one girl asked her friends to keep quiet because she was talking to her f*bleep*ing mother. Will my girl think of me in the same way 10 years down the road?

Tonight, I snuggled up to my girl and told her I love her. I also asked if I could hug her to sleep. She as usual, shook her head. I kinda whined to her, "but you hadn't let me hug you to sleep for a long time." She thought about it for a little while then nodded her head, and opened her arms to hug me. I got to cuddle her a little then she turned away to sleep. She did snuggled to me a few times later, it seems like she was making an effort.

No matter what my girl may think of me, no matter how she may turn out, she is still my girl. I love her, and there is no better time than now to tell her that and to hold her in my arms.

so what's happening?

I haven't been updating this blog for some time ...

I've returned to work 4 weeks ago so it has been a busy time trying to adjust back to working life, work environment and seeing less of my 2 babies.

V is coping well with it so far. She has enough friends and attention from her teachers in childcare so she's OK if she sees a little less of me. At least she didn't throw a tantrum like she did when I first returned to work when she was 3 months old. *phew* just yesterday, I was on medical leave (thanks to the flu virus - yes it's making yet another round!) and so she came home while I was resting. My bedroom door was opened so I could hear what's going on outside in the living area. I heard her saying, distinctively, "Allo A gor gor, where are you?" I burst out laughing from my room and I asked her "where is A gor gor?" She just gave an embarassed laugh and a cheeky grin.

I don't have a picture of A but he's this boy in her CC class - about 1.5 months older than her. The cute thing is, he's also tanned like her with curly locks. More than once, I have mistaken him for her at the first glance. These 2 kids are also v close, that usually play together, and they nap together with the older kids (she is attached to her cousin and him, to the teacher) while their peers sleep in a room downstairs.

V also tells me she has friends in school, and name some names. Her speech as improved tremedously, but it's no where near to her classmate YJ's skills. That girl can converse in PROPER whole sentences!

As for Ian, he's a really delightful baby. He is really very cheery and responds with a beautiful smile. I can safely say, I have developed feelings for him! Is it possible to love my children equally? I am not sure, but I do love them in their own special ways. I try to spend more time with him, since my time is mostly spent with V and the breast pump - but i don't often succeed. Weekends are my only time to catch up with sleep, so if he's awake I'll play with him a little. If he's sleeping, I'll usually miss his playtime since I nap for 2 to 3 hours!

I feel guilty, that I didn't latch on as much and now, he doesn't want to latch on anymore. I also wonder if the pump is taking time away from him, when I could have spent the time nursing him, instead of worrying about engorgement and not enough supply. I have to keep reminding myself, to spend more time with Ian. This stage will pass really quickly and I will never want to miss it. If only I could strike TOTO first prize *haiz*

My little charmer ...

who probably make all the aunty fans swoon with his smile ... another korean star in the making? *hee*

And it comes round again ...

Yes that flu bug is making another round in this family ...

First, V came down with a cough and cold, then it hit the Hubby. He didn't see the doctor until a few days later (he tried to see the doctor on the second day but the queue was too long - I did offer to bring him to a night clinic but he doesn't seem to remember it. Problem with asking him to see doctor or to do some things can be quite difficult - I don't want to be seen pushy or naggy and sometimes it erupts into tiffs, but how do I emphasize on the health of the kids and the family without grating on his nerves?). Now poor #2 is down with a really bad case of the virus and you can hear his wheeze/ chesty cough. He went to see the PD on Wed (developed a wheeze and cough on Tuesday) and now he's back on the nebulizer after I brought him to see another PD on Sat as it seems to have gotten progressively worse. I just hope V doesn't catch another round from #2. Hubby still has not recovered and I'll probably drag him to see another doctor if he's still coughing badly tomorrow. Sometimes I guess I just have to bite the bullet.

I'm almost pumping exclusively now - 99.99%. This morning though, I tried to bf him, and after a few yelps of pain (he bit me!) he was doing well on the breasts. I have to remember to make more time for him though ... V takes up so much of my time, I seldom have time to even hold or cuddle him. I need to practise more too (I really do think I am hopeless at BFing) since we have plans for a year end trip and it would be so much easier to latch him on than to use the bottles (not bringing the helpers or 1/2 the house). I am crossing my fingers and toes that it will go well. It's my first trip overseas (Sentosa dunch count) since I had V with the kids.

Daiso, daiso, i love you ...

Daiso, I love you! (probably much to the dismay of my hubby - not in terms of love, but in terms of $$$ i spend there)

I went there earlier, intending to get some gift boxes to house the cookies I baked for my girl's teacher but I ended up with gift bags instead - they look so girly and sweet!!!! I picked up something else too for my girl - they have these sticker books for $2 - peel the stickers and stick on the scenes, great to keep her occupied when she is fidgety in the car :P

Previously I went and grab some $80 worth of stuff (that's 40 items since each item is $2) and among them, i got 2 acrylic rectangular container which is now my cookie bar mould! I used it for my butter cookies and they were just the right size. They have graters, whisks and what nots that is perfect to add on to my ever expanding (but gaining dust) collection of kitchen gadgets. I buy my pets' toys and plants pots too, plus all the cute and wide ranging of stationery they have. I have been eyeing the bowls and plates they have too, but much to my hubby's relief, I have been RESTRAINING myself with much reluctance. Too bad my Ikea's dining set is still very much intact and they show no signs of being retired anytime soon.

They also have lots of Hello Kitty, Sanrio and toys for kids too. I bought this shape sorter from there some time back, and it came with 10 or more different shapes ... my girl is still playing with it now was it's a good investment - hopefully it's still intact for boy boy when he comes of age too :P

They even carry cosmetics and hardware - i got my concealer and pilers from there too ...

The stuff is so wide ranging and cool, it's a no brainer why i would spend at least an hour in there! BTW, i am the type who hates window shopping :P

help has arrived!

The second helper arrived yesterday and so far so good. My boy knows my cousin has left and that someone new is here so he is putting the second helper through a series of tests ... mainly she has to talk to him so he can coo back. He can smile when he wants to, and sometimes when I chit chat with him or he see his sister, he will smile. Occasionally he will giggle too, and I find it so highly amusing, especially when he does it after he has left his half digested milk on someone's shoulder.

#1 is still sick, and slightly feverish plus her cough doesn't seem to go away. So I off-ed her bedtime milk which may be why she takes such a long time to sleep (hungry) but milk (FM or BM) worsens the cough, so my poor gal just have to be hungry a little. #2 has a slight temperature too, so we are still observing.

With the additional help and that the hubby is at home too, I managed to churn out 3 batches of cookies. 2 batches of butter cookies, one original flavour (which my hubby prefer), the other is irish cream coffee flavoured (which I prefer) and 1 batch of oat shortbread. Personally I think my first recipe is good enough to be called a shortbread. The oat shortbread recipe which I took from a recipebook was somewhat oily. I am sure if I tweak on the original butter cookie recipe I have, the oat butter cookie would have been better - less oily and just the "melt in the mouth". I couldn't find my small kenwood mixer (think I left it at my mum's place) so I took out my brand new Braun food processor (I bought it as an excuse - on behalf of my hubby', a present for our wedding anniversary in a month's time) and worked with it. It wasn't too bad, but it's definitely not cut out for cookie dough work. It would have been great for something in a batter form, but nonetheless, the texture of my cookies turned out great too. I would say on par with my kenwood mixer.

#2 has turned 2 months old and I did take some pictures. Just that I've just gotten my new PC and the only time I get to logon is 1) bedtime - when I'm on my bed 2) pumping milk - I've set up a temporary station at my pump armchair with the old powerbook - so I haven't been able to download the pictures from my HP or my camera. He's now 6kg - I'm happy with his progress so far. The only thing that upsets me is that he tends to be colicky, and his tummy has lots of wind ... We can only try to massage his tummy as often as we can or cuddle him to sleep (with his tummy on my tummy) to soothe his discomfort. Otherwise, he is a happy baby. V is also very loving towards her brother, and often we have to stop her enthusiastic acts of love towards #2, especially now she is coughing quite badly. More often than not, she gets so upset when we tell her not to go so close to her didi that she bursts out crying. So we let her pat him a little and then bring her away to play her toys or do some colouring. V is of course upset when she sees me carrying him at times, but she would only display acts of unhappiness when she is sleepy or hungry. I'm not complaining about their relationship and how V is handling it. I think she is coping a lot better than I am, and I am very proud of her. Now, if I could only get serious about her potty training - I lost steam after she peed in the cardbox house I made for her and I had to throw it away.

Sleeping angels ... not

Remember I blogged earlier about how my girl will sleep in funny positions and how sometimes she snuggle up to the hubby? I couldn't resist taking some pictures, in fact, I'll probably want to take one picture a night!

Enjoy! *hehehe*

"Papa, my armpit pang or not?"

"Yes, very pang, until I fainted liao!"

"Papa, make space for me!!!"

"But ... I'm falling off the bed already!"

"He's my Papa. don't you dare to lay a finger on him! Mine mine!!!"

"...(happy)..."

The search continues and T2 starts!

We're been looking for helper #2 for sometime now, and so far no success. What I have encountered is pushy agents who insist that their girls are great and I need to give them a chance other than a cursory nod.

Well, would you employ someone who scratches her nose before answering you? Think Bill Clinton. Not only that, they all claim to be competent in infant care, and then when you see them carrying my boy, it's just simply not right. How do I compare? I had a chance to interview a indonesian transfer maid, and she had no issue in carrying my boy or changing the diapers, even though her last assignment was to care for the elderly for over 1 year. Compared that to few filipino transfer maids I had gone through, who were married with kids, she was 10 times better! The only problem is, I have 2 dogs, and she's uncomfortable with dogs. *sigh* So ... the search goes on and I know which agents to avoid.

V is sort of starting her T2 ... she is starting to throw tantrums at her cousins and starting to hit or kick out at us. Everything is "I want it now, I need it now". Unfortunately for her, I will say "no" and stick to it. If she continues her "need it now" tantrum, I just turn away and ignore her. Earlier, she hit the hubby, and I made her stand by the crib until she says sorry. Unfortunately for us, she's just as stubborn as me, and she refused to do so, even being made to stand at the spot for over 10 minutes. She was also sleepy (didn't sleep the entire day) so in the end, I told her she cannot hit us and she should say sorry (she still refused). I gave her a hug after the talking to and gave her milk. She was OK enough to smile after that and gave her daddy good night kisses and hugs (still no apology). She's also at a very sensitive stage, where when people say she is a naughty girl (especially her cousins or us), she would be hurt and come to us to say "Baby good girl" (referring to herself). So, we have to find out why, and then explain to her that she has to be gentle or that she has to share her toys with her cousins or that she cannot insist on grabbing the toys/ food. Just that, at this stage, sharing to them is a one way traffic as one mummy accurately puts it. We just have to work on it and be consistent with our messages.

V is very very sweet to her little brother though. The other day we were leaving the bedroom to have our dinner, when she suddenly stopped by her brother (he was sleeping in the rocker) and then lifted up one of his hands. Before I could stopped her, she kissed his hand and said "sayang didi". Other times, she would go to the person carrying Valentino and then kissed his head/ pat his head gently. I can't ask for more, really. I'll just have to pick my battles and remember that she's still a toddler - she cannot be expected to behave or listen to my instructions all the time.

I'm also trying plan my return to work - hopefully I'll be successful in getting helper #2 soon so that I won't need to worry about the 2 Vs and homefront when I need to get back to stressing over work.

Oh yeah, and I need to start taking picture of the 2 Vs soon and get my replacement PC soon.

Stretched ... beyond unimaginable limits

For those who think I am enjoying life at home, you are so so so wrong ...

After V was cooped up at home for 2 weeks with her cough and was better, she was sent back to childcare while we struggled at home with #2 and the nebulizer. Today we had to bring #2 back for a review, and I decided to bring V along, because her cough wasn't getting better and she was still vomitting her dinner/ last feed at night. On Tue night, when the helper was struggling with #2, I was helping out with the household chores, doing the laundry and washing the kitchen floor. The hubby shouted for help and I ran into bedroom, only to see V vomitting on the bed. Poor girl, she had vomit on her legs and her arms, but she wasn't crying her eyes out, so it made things easier. We said goodbye to yet another box of tissue, and moped up the vomit with her soiled blankie. We then swopped with the helper, hubby took care of #2, the helper cleaned up the bed (change sheets and pillow cases) while I cleaned up V. I decided then, something is not right with V's cough, despite the end of the antibiotics and the use of the medication.

So for the review today, V is wheezing, and whatever virus she has (could have gotten from #2) is now in her lungs, and she has to take a brand new set of medicine, including another type of antibiotics. I was so ... tired ... but I just hope whatever she has now, will be cleared up with the new batch of medicine. We have to keep an eye on #2, even though he's good now, because now he has green poop!

I've been surviving on 3 hours of sleep for the past 2 nights, not because I am busy playing computer games, but I simply can't sleep. I was wide awake from 2 to 5am last night (started pumping at 1am) and despite the relaxation CD, I was just listening out to the baby monitor for any cries from #2. I'm still wide awake now, and hopefully the hot cocoa will help me to sleep better.

So ... V is stuck with us yet another day at home and I really hope she doesn't get bored to tears (and please, I really cannot take another round of "It's Barney!" *argh*).

It's Barney Time and more

1. V was stuck at home for 2 weeks due to her cough - we literally watch her Barney DVDs (sent by my sis from US) multiple times, so much so she can tell what's the next scene and sing part of the songs. In fact, she can sing about 5 songs from the Barney CD in the car and only she is allowed to sing, she has banned us from joining in. At bedtime, she wants us to sing the "Barney song" which is the one that goes "I love you, you love we, we're a happy family ...." Yes, I am SICK of Barney, so when she went back to school this week, I was pouncing on the chance to watch all the recorded shows (thankfully there's the hub station)! In case you are wondering, I am surviving on a diet of 1) Naruto 2) Leverage 3) CSI (LV & NY) and 4) House (Seasons 3 & 5)

However, I must admit there is a positive thing about Barney. I always tell V "be careful" when she is doing notti things like climbing up the chairs or standing on stools. The DVD that we watched happen to have a section on "be careful" and I pounced on it to reinforce the idea of being careful. So sometimes when I tell her to be careful and she ignores me, I will just repeat the message "remember Barney says you have to be careful too?" She will turn and just smile at me but I think the message got through.

2. #2 is recovering, but he has to use the nebulizer to take his medication. Hopefully he recovers soon. He is coughing out lots of phlegm now and his breathing is still patchy at times when the mucus is stuck at the back of this throat. His breathing scares me at times, so if he makes a noise, I will go and check on him. He is quite funny now, he stares at us as if he recognises us. The other day, he was giggling to himself while sleeping on my lap. Yes, he's been smiling too, mostly in contentment after feeding or a nice bath. He did coo once or twice but not much of that. His hair is growing fast too!!!

3. Broke - after paying for the confinement nanny, the chinese herbs, etc etc, my poor dog Rascal has to go for an op too - that set me back another 1.5K so yes, I am broke. Not to mention all the PD bills and Pampers we had to buy because #2 had very bad diaper rash.

4. I'm addicted to Post Oats with Strawberry - i didn't like the honeyed ones because it had coconut in it and I hate that. I am waiting to try Oats with Almond next. Well, I was told it helps with the milk supply, let down and lost of weight, so I wanted to try it. Someone said 400 to 500ml of milk is possible at 1 go so I am just persisting to see if my reservoir could hold that much milk too :P So, on with the oats!

Random Thoughts/ Musings

1. Sleeping

My hubby had been very surprised by my sleeping habits since we had #1. Basically, from a heavy duty sleeper who requires a MINIMUM of 8 hours of sleep plus a minimum of 30 minutes of light dozing in bed before I finally wake up, it was an eye opener to him that I could survive on 4 hours of sleep daily when I had to pump.

Now, our sleeping habits are totally reversed. He's the heavy duty sleeper (however, he can survive on less than 8 hours of sleep, just that once he's sleeping, he's totally knocked out) and I'm the light sleeper. I get awaken even by lightning (yup, NOT thunder), and the slightest turn or cough by #1 sets me on "eyes wide open" mode. Now that I'm pumping for #2 at night at 4 hours interval (not direct latch - hear me out!), it gives me a little more than 6 hours of interrupted sleep. Basically I finish feeding at 9 to 10pm, I will get to sleep by 11:30pm (after 30 minutes of sleep inducing music and provided #1 doesn't wake up from her sleep for cuddling), then I will wake up at 1:30am to pump. It takes 30 minutes to finish pumping, but I will take another 2 hours to fall asleep (listening to the snore symphony isn't exactly going to induce me to sleep) and then I'll wake up again at 5am to pump or direct latch, if the timing coincides with the feed time. By 7am I'm wide awake (if I get to fall asleep by 6am) as hubby has to go to work and #1 has to wake up for milk feed and going to CC. Afternoon I get to nap another 1 hour or so. Direct latching at night gives me less than 4 hours of sleep, since he will wake every 2 to 3 hours for a feed, and it takes 30 mins for a feed, and another 1 hour to fall asleep. With this pump/ latch arrangement, I feel slightly better, since I have a bit more of sleep.

The upside about not being able to sleep though, I get to watch how #1 and the hubby sleeps. #1 rearranges her sleeping position every 30 minutes, and if I'm lucky, I'll get her head butts and the hubby is the unlucky one with her feet on his face/ head (not that he is aware though). Occasionally I'll watch how they slowly rearrange their sleeping positions to share a pillow or how she snuggles up to the space at the neck. Occasionally I have been surprised by #1 when she comes charging at me with her arms wide stretched (eyes closed) and then hug me to sleep. It somehow makes it slightly more worthwhile to lose some sleep!

2. Obsession with Milk

Strange thing about this time round, I'm only slightly obsessed with how much milk I have/ can pump out. As long as there's enough in the fridge for #2's 2 night feed and some extra for #1, I'm happy. I'll worry about the pump and store in fridge/ freezer when it comes to the time to go back to work. Also, I'm a PIS convert. My goodness, it's so much easier than a single electric pump. For extra $$ invested in a PIS is well worth the time and sleep saved! For me, it's money saved because I borrowed the PIS motor from a friend and I got brand new parts (including tubing) which came up to about $100 or so.

3. Eating

I've spent over $2K on chinese herbs, and since the 12th day of the confinement, I'm been having on a nightly basis (rotating): chicken with dom, chicken with martell, chicken with danggui, chicken with dong chong cao and chicken with pao shen (wild). All this is in addition to the soups I have for dinner, which includes black bean with pork ribs soup, chicken with dang gui and chicken with ginseng. Thankfully I'm not putting on a lot of weight yet - it just helps me to replenish my energy and "qi" according to the confinement lady. This time round, the cooking is much more suited to my taste buds (different CL) so I'm eating a bit more happily. At least now I am aware where I can get good chinese herbs and not being ripped off, and I am diligently trying to commit to memory some of the recipes (but given my brains, I'll forget in a day or 2). The CL also gave me some recipes which are suitable for the hubby (not everything I take is suitable for him!). The CL also made "ngoh hiang" yesterday which I was happily gobbling down ... it's a treat since a) I'm not allowed to eat outside food b) most of the confinement food is ginger/ garlic based.

4. Multi-Tasking

Yesterday, being a mummy to 2 kids gave a whole new meaning to multi-tasking. I was feeding #2 when #1 came in wailing (sleepy and hungry = super cranky) so I got the maid to scoop rice and add the pigeon instant food. She refused for anyone to feed her but me, so with one hand crading #2 head, the other hand was used to scoop rice to feed her (the poor confinement lady had to hold the bowl for me). #1's down with a cough so she's been home for the past 2 days, and this is the 3rd day running. Almost every day, she looks out from the bedroom and points to the swimming pool. It's just too bad she's been coughing badly and the weather is not favourable for her to swim (too windy or raining). Hopefully she recovers soon so I can bring her to the wading pool soon. For swimming, she has to make a date with the hubby :P She's also a bit cranky since she doesn't have playmates and frankly speaking, bored at home. But she's still very sweet, she was helping the maid to change the bedsheets earlier and helping me to do small tasks.

I'm not sure if I could love 2 kids equally, but #1 definitely is more loved as of now. We will see how #2 fares when he turns 2 in 2 years time!

Pictures of the latest addition -Ian

He ain't heavy, he's my brother ...

We had expected some fits or outburst of jealousy from Vanessa, especially since she did not see us or Valentino for the few days we were in hospital. Surprisingly, her reaction was very benign, and her first reaction upon seeing her baby brother was "Sayang didi" and she stroke his head.

For the past 2 weeks, Vanessa has been very good - she will kiss and sayang him, and she doesn't get jealous when I had to feed him. In fact, she is now used to me disappearing from the bed in the middle of the night, and in my absence, she will just snuggle up to the hubby (much to his delight I guess). She also told the hubby "don't disturb mummy" when he walked in to asked me some stuff while I was feeding Valentino.

I guess I was apprehensive about "introducing" the baby to Vanessa, since she was used to him being in my "tummy". She was quite loving while he was inside, kissing and hugging my tummy - but we had no idea how she would react once the "competition" is introduced. Plus the fact she's now 2 plus, she's supposedly in her terrible 2s, so I was wondering if it would be a lethal combination. All the worrying came to naught, since Vanessa is such a sweet natured girl, and so loving towards her little brother.

I can only say, Thank you Lord.

Birth of Baby Valentino and more ...

The birth story of Baby Valentino:

1. Woke up at 4:30am to get ready for admissions to the hospital

2. We reached the hospital at 5:25am and went to do the check in.

3. Completed the admissions process in about 20 minutes (gosh, so much documents to sign!)

4. Checked-in to my room - only to find out the admissions office gave us the wrong room (I suspected as much since there was no curtains in the room!)

5. They moved us to the correct room, which was just next to the nursery!

6. Rested for a while, then they came in to prepare me for the op. I spent quite a long time in the loo, think I was quite constipated!

7. Got wheeled to the OT - they parked my bed outside the OT and I fell asleep while waiting.

8. They finally came and wheeled me to the door of the OT, the obgyn and hubby was around to, so we were chit chatting a bit. Surprisingly, I'm not nervous! I supposed, having gone through it once, I more or less know what to expect, so I'm not too worried about what's going to happen in the OT.

9. Finally the anaesthetist arrived (he was late for #1 too!) and they wheeled me into the OT. The pain from the various needles and injections were bearable - since I wasn't nervous, so the anticipation of pain did not magnify the pain at all. At best, the pain was comparable to a big bad ant bite. I did squeeze the nurse arm for reassurance - yes I am a scardy cat at heart when it comes to pain :P

10. This time though, I was very wide awake for the op. I did ask for something to make me sleepy, but it didn't work even they gave me 2 to 3 doses! End up I was listening in to their private conversations (doc to nurse/ doc to doc) and I did chit chat with my hubby too (though I think he was pretty busy looking at the op). This time I did feel some pressure on my tummy area, but definitely no pulling, poking, digging or other sensations that would make me imagine what they were doing to me then. So it was pretty OK.

11. Baby Valentino has arrived with a loud wail! Took some pics and then baby was weighed in at 2.955kg. Hubby said he opened his eyes when he was being weighed.

12. I patiently waited for the obgyn to finish doing his stitching, then I remarked that some of his patients were joking he does embroidery at home to practise his stitching. One of the nurses remarked that some of the docs actually do cross-stitching and their handiworks are excellent!

13. Me bad, I shouldn't have asked for the sleepy medicine ... It made me quite woozy after the op, and with the room spinning when I opened my eyes (I can't even bear to watch TV), I ended up puking a bit ... but by the end of the 6th hour, I couldn't take it, since I was puking on an empty stomach (which to me makes it worse), I secretly took a cup of milo. Truthfully, it made me feel better since it warmed me up and my stomach is not running on empty tank. With the sleepy medicine, I was basically sleeping throughout the day, except to breastfeed and to drink some water. It was quite a good rest, and good excuse too - the nurses caught on to the milo drink and my hubby were "honest" enough to admit I had a few sips of milo. So basically they were kicking up a big fuss over it. Anyway, they didn't say much to me later, since I had stopped puking by then :P

14. Had my official milo drink for dinner - how pathetic ...

15. Had my first official meal in 24 hours - chicken porridge for breakfast!

16. Engorgement set in - PAIN PAIN PAIN *cry* They ran out of cabbage leaves too, so I had to call my mum's place for special delivery.

17. Baby Valentino has mild jaundice so he went for photo therapy - he didn't like it a bit!

18. I was OK-ed to go home and Baby Valentino was OK-ed to go home too, so we got discharged on Tuesday!

19. This mummy was panicky since Baby Valentino hasn't peed since he came back and he was hot! Realised that he may be "overheated" so we quickly wiped him down and changed him ... and then I breastfed him with my rock hard breasts (yes still engorged) but he finally peed. I was out of cabbage leaves so I grabbed all the ice packs (from Royce chocolates!) from the freezer and popped into my bra. 4 on each side ... the relief was indescribable.

20. The confinement nanny called - she's in Singapore even though she was due to arrive only the next morning. I begged her to come over then and there (at 10pm at night) as she was staying at her relative's place. I told her I cannot handle it and Baby Valentino was running a mild temperature. She was nice enough to oblige, and she arrived by 11pm. By then, I had just managed to finish feeding Baby Valentino, put Vanessa to bed, and grabbed a quick dinner. I cannot express my sense of relief ... and she was really very efficient ... she checked on Baby Valentino and arranged her stuff, so she can be ready when Baby Valentino wakes up late for night feeds. In fact, it was so warmed that night she OK-ed my request to on the aircon (I was worried that he may overheat again) and I guess the best surprise for me was that, she was not only pro breast feeding, she was also able to help baby latch on properly and to massage my rock hard breasts!

21. I'm still partially engorged, but it's much better now. After the 2 days of agony, at least most of the ducts have been cleared for the right side, and we are now working on the left side. It's still painful, but at least I see some progress. I was really ready to throw in the towel, because it was really unbearable this round ... hopefully, all the blocked ducts can be cleared by this week, so that my breasts won't be so engorged. I'm also waiting for my medela parts to arrive, so I can start pumping to relieve some of the pressure. I am using my Avent manual pump too, but after using the PISA once, I will want to use the electric dual pump only!

22. We still cannot decide on a name for Baby Valentino *argh*

To be updated ... How Vanessa is taking to her little brother...

Baby Valentino has arrived!

I'm too tired to post - check out the hubby's post & pic at: http://zitseng.com/archives/2133#more-2133

No, and we haven't quite decided what to name him yet. So yes, Valentino is still in the running.

Mummy's little helper

V is a very sweet girl, and she helps me out in little ways that make her so endearing ...

She will help to pull me up from a sitting position - every little bit helps at this stage! The other day, she helped to dress me, no kidding! She held out my undies like how I hold it out to her when I dress her - I can't help but laugh when she insist on holding on to my undies. She can massage a little, so she will just gently squish my shoulders in her little hands when I asked her to.

Recently, she's also talking a lot more and also learning how to SWEET TALK too. She has started telling us "Daddy come (when he picks her up at the CC), baby (referring to herself) happy". She'll do the same for me ... it helps because it makes the day so much sweeter, even if I had a tiring day.

I've started talking to her about the pending hospital stay and telling her she will have to stay with my sister. She listens and nods and repeats after me. So hopefully, she does understand what I  am telling her, and she won't be too upset when she has to stay with my sister while I'm staying in the hospital.

Quick Update:

on V #1

Her first chinese words - bu yao! haiz ... why why why!! her first word is no for english, mm aoil in cantonese and now bu yao in chinese ... faint ah!

She also surprised me today ... she went swimming with papa today and i went down to provide greet and meet service when they finish ... she told me "l* y* e*" i was like ... wah ... u can say ur name in chinese! i asked papa if he was the one who taught her, he said no ...

on V #2

He's sitting on some nerves that basically makes my legs go numb and crampy ... I'm also suffering from loose stools from the course of antibotics ... it's really not very comfy ... i think we have more or less decided on Valentino's name. I will just give my hubby 2 choices for the chinese and then let him make the final call for his english name.

OK got to go ... tummy's a rumbling again!

self praise is no praise!

Went to see Dr FY last week to check on Valentino's week 35 progress - he gained 1 kg over 3 weeks, so my durian diet did work. My guess is that he will be at the same weight as V when she was born, which I thought was a decent weight, so I'm not too worried, as long as he's active it's good.

When we were doing the ultrascan, Dr FY remarked that my previous C-section scar was very neat and well hidden. I retorted "Wah! Praising yourself???" He went "No lah, the real test is when you wear bikini and no one can see the scar" I replied "Yes lah, your skills very good, everyone praising your stitches very nice and neat, the nicest they have seen. Besides now wear bikini, my tummy so big, also cannot see anything!" Dr FY ".... *haiz*"

Anyway, it's true, his skills at stitching is very good. If you recall that embarassing incident that I had to pay the GP $20 to verify that it was indeed my C-section scar, and no 2 flaps of skin glued together by the remnants of the bandage glue, that should indicate how good his stitching is :P

Lazy Saturday ...

We had an early start to this weekend ... had dinner early (before 7pm no less!) and we managed to make our way down to Takashimaya for some shopping. It was pretty jammed on the roads, and when we reach Taka, it was about 8pm, still plenty of time to shop since our "agenda" were pretty short.

1) i wanted to get durians! Yes, craving for it again, but the stock wasn't too good, so i just choose one of the cheaper options and make do with it. FYI, i get my durians from the Cold Storage at Taka, in case you are wondering. I am not about to wander to Geylang and get "chop carrot head" for nothing since I am not good at choosing durians.

2) our Panasonic TV finally died after 5 years of faithful service. Unfortunately, while it was still under warranty, the factory no longer produces the parts required for the repair and we were offered a small sum of compensation for us to get a new TV. So that's the hubby's job, so he went shopping at Best Denki. Oddly, while we were there, I liked this lower end (and supposedly not so good) Toshiba LCD TV compared to the Sharp one my hubby was looking at. I look left, look right, up and down, and still, I am not convinced the Sharp model is better (even if both were playing blu-ray HD stuff). Anyway, I'll let the hubby choose since technology stuff is supposed to be his forte. My girl did pick a TV when we asked her, but unless we are the sole winner of the TOTO top prize or the top prize in Big Sweep, there's no way we can afford it. That TV she picked cost over $100,000. Yes, it's one of those super duper huge screen TV (no idea of the measurements). Anyway, what we are willing to pay is only 1/100 of that price of that TV so i guess, so bad for her. Besides our place is too small to house it!

3) I did make my way to the Barbie fair at the B2 exhibition square - i was hoping to find some nice shoes for V again. I managed to get 3 really nice shoes, 1 sandal and 1 sport for V and 1 pair of sport one for my niece. All at $15 each and plus a 10% discount. It was a real steal! This time round though, I didn't pick anyway because the sizes were wrong and nothing caught my fancy. My guess is, we got all the nice ones already! There were other nice ones too, but I will need to pay an additional $4 for the box to house it, so for the cheapskate me - I'll pass. Basically those shoes in the bin are cheaper.

Came home and V was still active. She was quite funny. She had her dinner at 6:30pm and she had her milk (240ml / 8 oz) at 7:30pm. She was sitting next to me and she was pouting - i cannot describe her expression, but it was hilarious. She was basically trying to manja me, and she was pouting, sulking, and acting "I'm so poor thing". Anyway she nodded yes when I asked her if she wanted her milk, so that's the 1st bottle for the night. When we reached home after shopping, we gave her another bottle at 9:30pm. Yup, she cleaned it out all right. Sometimes I do wonder if her tummy is big enough to house all these food/ milk - but since she's not vomitting or complaining about indigestion or tummy pain, it should be ok. As long as everything is in moderation! Oh ya, she doesn't get snacks like biscuits or sweets when I'm at home (unless I'm really feeling generous) so I'm quite OK with her eating more during her meals/ milk intake.

When she finally was in lala land, it was bedtime for me (wanted to do some stuff but was too tired after 2 days of pain). Ended up I couldn't sleep because I couldn't sleep on either side - my hips were hurting too badly. I think eventually I fell asleep on my back :P I had been having difficulty in walking for the past 2 days as my tailbone hurts - basically i just limp at work. My legs are also feeling numb, so i gave a call to the obgyn office and they said that Valentino is resting against some of my nerves, hence the pain and numbness. This morning, I gently pat my tummy and told Valentino to shift a bit because I was in pain, and I think he cooperated! At least now I can walk without pain, although I still have slight numbness at the back of my thighs, but it was manageable.

We woke up early because V woke up early. We fed her morning milk feed (300ml if you are wondering) and then got the helper to shower her and give her breakfast. She even went for a morning walk with the dogs while we were trying to catch some early morning laze-in-bed sleep. I finally got up at 8am (1 hour extra from the usual weekday) and then nudge the hubby out of bed. I wanted to bring V out for breakfast since I won't really have the chance come Valentino. We ventured to HV, got her usual egg and kaya toast - while the hubby was having his haircut, we made a move to the shopping centre, which to my disappointment, the store selling children's clothes were closed. So we ended up at Cold Storage again, and this time, something else caught my fancy. They were shucking oysters for demo/ sale. The oysters look so fresh and plump, i was so taken by it, that i forked out $20 for a pack of 6, got them to shell it for me, and then we had it at home. My only regret was that I didn't start eating before my hubby, else I would had 4 and he 2, and not 3 each. The oysters were unbelievably good, probably the best I had in a long time. They were not too salty, the flesh was plump and juicy, and the taste of really fresh oysters. I should have tried the oyster when they offered and I'll had forked over $40 for 2 packs!!

Now it's barely past noon, and we are in bed again, both V and the hubby in lala land again ... afternoon will be "reserved" for house decorating again, since I need to rearrange some of the furniture in the house. So we shall see how much I can get done before I pop ... hopefully everything will be nice and tidy and neat and ready when Valentino arrives!

Panic Mode

Yes, seriously. I just realised I have 4 weeks to go -

I have not packed the hospital bag yet

I have not gotten the house in order yet, especially the new lighting's and furniture

I have not start handing over my work yet! my boss probably hit the panic button too!

I have not set up the cot for #2

I have not prepared stuff for #2

I am just not ready!

Amidst all the panic and unreadiness, I also realised how different my pregnancy with #2 is compared to #1. If you recalled, I had induced high BP, that in the end, I had to deliver V early. Today, just the very opposite happen - I was talking to a colleague when I suddenly felt giddy (a bit like blacking out) and felt like puking too. So I sat down and was OK. But by the time I reach my seat, I was feeling so bad I asked my hubby to send me to see the doctor. Thankfully the queue at the doctor was short and my regular doctor was in. My BP was a miserable 90/60. That explains the giddiness, but I wondered what prompted the sudden drop. Anyway I was given some oral re hydration sachets, and it tasted so bad, i poured the entire cup away. I made my hubby buy 100+ instead, and it taste so much better! I did call up my gynae clinic and told them about my BP. So they called back and ask me to eat more red meat! So i put another call to the hubby and asked him to buy some beef to cook for dinner as well.

It was probably one of the best dinner I had in a long time - my ma jie simply makes superb beef - be it in steaks, minute steaks or stir fry. It's not the usual western style, but the taste of it, makes me lick the plate CLEAN! Anyway I'll be having the same thing again tomorrow and I certainly look forward to it!

I just hope #2 will be as good as V, my sweetiepie. She was upset today because I scolded her a few times, I raised my voiced a few times, I smacked her once - so she was crying for a good 20 minutes, before I calmed her down by sharing the storybook with her, and slowly winding her down for bed. She's now fast asleep next to me, without much fuss today. Poor girl, she must be wondering why she's getting a lot more from me these days (I scold her for sucking her fingers too :P) I must remember to be a nicer mummy ;P I just hope she won't feel abandon with #2 out ... Time to read Super Nanny!

For the love of Valentino ...

I am very very very very tempted to name #2 Valentino ... just for the sheer yumminess of the chocolate and rum cake I got from Perle ... Perle is the Pastry Boutique of Ristorante da Valentino, an italian restaurant in SIngapore which I have yet to discover. I discover Perle when they were having a booth at the "I love Italy" (I think) at Takashimaya B2 food area.

We bought the cake on Friday, which we never got around to eating it till Tuesday, since Monday was my actual birthday. We were either too busy or too tired, so in the end, just before bedtime on Tuesday, we cut the cake and had some of it. It was SO GOOD, it was difficult to stop, but we had to, since V was still having a very bad cough (she was happily chomping on the cake too). The next time we got around to finishing the cake was this morning! Technically the cake's cut sides was left exposed in the fridge, only covered by its cardboard box housing. I was expecting a chocolate biscuit this morning but no ... it was as delicious and moist as we first ate it!

Now, I hope to eat at the restaurant before Valentino pops and more of that lovely yummy chocolate cake before my diet gets restricted ... they have a very lovely biscotti type biscuit too, which is very addictive, you cannot stop at a few ... just thankfully I'm off coffee with the pregnancy, else I think I will wiped out the entire pack with my regular cuppa!

For photos, erm, I'm waiting for the hubby to upload hahahaha ... i'll post the link once he gets around to it ...

For Valentino and Perla, just go to www.valentino.sg

hmmm ....

Long, long time ago,

I secretly hoped and dreamt that

my beloved toys would come to life and played with me,

oh what fun we could have!

Once upon a time,

i dreamt that I was the princess in the castle,

and a prince would come and sweep me off the feet,

and then we lived happily ever after.

Once, not too far in the distant past,

i began to understand, the hopes and dreams i had,

more often than not, are flawed and doomed to begin with,

and whatever will be, will be.

Que Sera Sera,

how very simple the song, how very true the simple words,

now i sing it for my girl, with tears in my heart.

It is really going to be Valentino?

That's the latest question people seems to be asking me.

No, I don't know. I haven't really think about it yet and it's 5 weeks to go before Valentino pops out.

I haven't pack my hospital bag, definitely not gotten around to 'remodeling' the house, set up the bedroom for #2 nor #1, redefine the dining and study area.

The good thing is that the new helper has cleaned up the house, packed a majority of the place and it's much cleaner and neater now. And we just spent a bomb today - we got ourselves a rainbow. Yes I know I am a sucker, but really, after seeing that amount of dirt/ dust being sucked out, I resolved that this rainbow is really going to be USED. I've already told the helper to use it at least once a week to clean the house, instead of mopping the floor. I feel better than now my bed is a lot cleaner, and my pillows will be cleaned, and the stuff toys will be cleaned too.

I'll lug to my mum's house and clean up the bedroom V uses when she's there too. I am willing to bet the bed we rest on is as dirty, if not dirter, than my one at home!

teething issues ... last round i hope!

V has been teething for the past 2 months or so ... her second molars are pushing out, top and bottom. So basically it means she has sporadic tantrums and clingy-ness. The latest episode has been playing out over the past 2 to 3 days ... doesn't want anyone but mummy to bathe/ shower, mummy to feed, mummy to do this, mummy to do that ... i'm on medical leave but out of the few days I'm given, only today I had a relatively better time, since I had a 90 min pre-natal massage for my stiff and sore joints ... i slept in late today and V was whining non-stop since she woke up. she woke up extra early at 6:30am and she looked for daddy first (since daddy was missing in action last night due to OT). Then she refused to let him near him, shooing him away. Then barely a few minutes later, she wanted her milk, and only I was allowed to hold the bottle.

I feel asleep shortly (I stuffed a pillow under the bottle) and basically slept through the din. I only woke up when she landed on top of my head, crying "mama" non stop. I helped to remove her diaper since it felt leaky already - usually at this stage, she would calm down and follow her daddy to the potty to do her various morning routine (wee wee, brush teeth, mm mm and then pom pom). I could hear her crying for me non stop on the way to the tiolet ... then i fell asleep yet again *shows how tired i am!* Later my helper told me she refused to do anything, and kept crying for me. she even refused to shower/ bathe!

The moment V saw me walking out of the bedroom, she zoomed into me and started her "mama" routine again. I had to get the helper to offer her chocolate muffin for breakfast before I had some peace and ZZZzzzz. When i finally had energy to drag myself off the bed, V was in a better mood but still in a "no no no" mood. She finally showered with me but poor thing, she slipped a little (i was holding her hand) and hit her head on the wall. Off the wailing siren went again. She was OK within 30 seconds though, then had to coax her to get dressed. Left the helper to do it while I went to get dressed myself. We drove to my mum's place (my cousin was coming to help look after/ play with her and I was more than happy to take up the offer!) and on the way, she fell asleep at 11am! all that crying must have left her exhausted hahahaha

Anyway, once she saw my cousin, she stuck to him like glue and I was happy to be left alone to rest (that's what the doc ordered!) and to pay some attention to my dogs (currently housed at my mum's place) - did some stress relieving therapy too ... snipping off the knots I found on my Phoebe - she now looks like a fake poodle!

Just hope tomorrow V will be in a better mood! I need time for Valentino and to start planning for the minor renovations before it's TOO LATE!

Update on Valentino

He's lying low, in fact, quite low at 32 weeks. We can't even see his face now =(

he's now 1.7 to 1.8kg, about 500 to 600 grams heavier than the last visit. I'm not doing too good, I'm losing weight in fact.

My gynae asked me to walk more and I was like "allo! do you know how much i walk a day at work!!!!" in the end, he gave me medical leave to rest - fatigue and i'm not doing too well at the stress/ emotional level.

It doesn't help that medical leave sometimes = no leave when people wants their own job to be done first. it's even worse when they have NO EQ. so basically I just grit my teeth and hold my tongue, before i say something really nasty and just do what I can. and it's even worse when way up up up up there the "guru" is ... how should i put it ... living with the head in the clouds.

I just hold on to the nicer thoughts to get me through work. Like, someone gave me a small box of chocolates in appreciation of my help ... tt's really sweet so ya, I'm keeping the box after I finish up the chocolates to remind myself, there are people who appreciate me, and what I do is important, even though I am not important.

A literally bloody Mother's Day

Just a short post ... V fell and hurt herself during the Mother's Day celebration with my family ... blood was literally spewing from her mouth ... took about 15 minutes, lots of wet wipes (she doesn't want my bloodied hands to touch her) and lots of ice chips to calm her down ...

When she was willing to show me her mouth, her gums on top were a bloody mess =( ... my sis-in-law asked me to apply manuka honey as it has antiseptic properties, so we went off after lunch to pick up a bottle. V doesn't like the taste of it, she shuddered after I applied on her gums! She's a strange kid ... only likes water and especially ICE, but shunning other sweet drinks ... she loves chocolates and sweets though ...

I hope she gets better soon =( this mummy heart super pain.

The story of Valentino ...

I realised I haven't really been talking much about Valentino, and I'll be 31 or 32 weeks tomorrow!

How time really flies ... V is already 2 years old and counting, and we'll be meeting Valentino in a few weeks time. Perhaps it's time for panic since we're not quite ready at the homefront!

Anyway, i'll just post Valentino's story for prosperity's sake, and sorry to bore you if you have heard this before, or if i even blogged about this before (honestly I cannot remember!).

The first person to discover Valentino was on the way is actually Vanessa. One day she just patted me on my tummy and went "Baby!" i was skeptical since i just tested a few days ago and it was negative. She was even the first one who said it would be a "didi" (little brother). My hubby think it's just a lucky guess since she probably can't say "mei mei" (little sister).

Having Valentino is a whole different ballgame from having Vanessa. The only thing in common was the cramps, but even for Vanessa, bed rest and taking the hormone pills worked. For Valentino, it went beyond the bed rest and hormone pills. I had to have jabs every alternate days and it wasn't an easy time for me since i had just changed job too. The cramps only stopped past 12 weeks, and then *sigh*, the migraines and vertigo issues started ... I had to see a neurologist and thankfully, after 4 weeks or so, the problems went again. Even then, I was still sensitive to loud noises and bright lights, which triggered off headaches. Thankfully my BP was OK and is still OK. No swollen legs to date, and no carpal wrists syndrome too. It may helped that I start my pre-natal massage early, once I hit 4 months mark ... right now, I'm trying to have the massage once a week - it helps me to relieve the body aches and to drain the tensions from my body too. Else my shoulders get all frozen up and my legs twitchy, not to mention i get leg cramps too!

Am i excited to meet Valentino in a few weeks time? Yes and No ... I guess I want to meet the one that's been pounding on my tummy from inside out for the past few months (i did mention i felt movements as early as 12 to 14 weeks right?) but I'm also worried how Vanessa will take to Valentino and if I can cope with 2 kiddos ... i'm worried about neglecting either one of them (well Valentino is seriously neglected now!) but ... i'll deal with it when it comes ...

I can't quit my job at this time, but I may well ask to work part-time ... not just for the kids but also for my emotional and mental health ... it's been very stressful at work lately and i'm really drained out ... and I am starting to feel somewhat depressed so it's not a good sign ...

Oh for mother's day, my hubby gave me a herbal spine warmer, which can be heated up in the microwave. That's probably one of the most thoughful gifts he has given to me ... I guess he's tired of having to massage my back!!!! hehe ...

relief and a little break

My new helper came in a few days ago ... We were busy at work so we couldn't pick her up earlier before evening time. Her first job was so clean up my bedroom! and we dash through the chores, since we have to pick up V later at my mum's place. I had to warn her not to be shocked by the state of my place. Now i am glad to say it doesn't look like a pig sty anymore.

Today was on MC, GP said i was prob suffering from fatigue given the stiffness of my neck and shoulder. he was quite funny, he prescribed me "massages. if your hubby can't do it for you, you go and pay someone to do it for you lah". so i did, i went after a nice yummy breakfast at Crystal Jade (i was starving by the time i finished seeing the GP). I walked into this shop and got myself a foot massage and a shoulder rub. i felt so much better! but i had to clear some work when i came back and i managed to get a short nap before i was awakened by calls from the office. *sigh* then it was time to shower and pick up V from CC.

ok more packing and cleaning up tomorrow. I have to get ready for Valentino! time to zzzZzzZz

Green Goo and the other viruses in the air ...

Brought V back to the PD after discussion with the staff since the nose swab shows a particular nasty bacteria breeding away and he wanted to make sure that the tiny red dot at the back of her throat was nothing to be alarmed of (other than that was the 3rd "it may be something to do with HFMD"). I still have some antibiotics at home, unused since we stop giving her the nightly antibiotics feed for the Grade 2 VUR, so it saved me some money, since I could use it.

V came back and she told me "I want to see doctor!" I really think she likes the PD, just that her medical coverage no longer covers the cost of seeing a PD past 2, so the cost of seeing him will go up. I intend to use the same PD for number 2, because this PD is really very good, and he really takes time to explain and listen to our concerns (no matter how ridiculous it may seem).

Anyway a quick update on #2 (let's call him Valentino) before I forget again. The last visit with Valentino at 29 weeks, I gained 200g and he, a whooping 700g. With my craving for durians (once I start eating, I can't stop!!!!), I hope my weight gain would not spiral out of control, and Valentino would still gain weight at the normal track. As it is, I am already having difficulty in walking at times, and all his movements are felt keenly. If he gets much bigger than the normal growth track, I think I will have to lie in bed!!! This said, he's still shy, refusing to let us see his face during the scans.

Now, the other virus that is hot in the news ... what else, the swine flu. Attended a 2 hour meeting this morning with almost 1 hour spent on swine flu. My mgr has it worse, she has to attend twice a day for updates. I'm not sure if it's going to go into Red alert anytime, but Orange alert is scary - although the place where we had dinner was PACKED. I guess no more outings to crowded and air conditioned places, so I better stock up my freezer tomorrow :P I have slightly more reasons to be scared I guess, since I do deal with people who work in the HC industry. I just hope no one does anything stupid or inconsiderate, but you know what, I am not too hopeful, given what some of these parents do even when their kids are down with contagious stuff like HFMD (they bring them out because the kids are bored!). I can only remind V and the hubby to always wash their hands with soap.

my major milestonE

Ya, mine, and probably the main milestone I see I have achieved for the past few weeks.

I actually survived without a domestic helper for almost 1 month!!!!

It's a amazing feat to me, knowing me :P We have managed to keep V clean and bedsheets changed every week. The floor is relatively clean and the toilets too.

Just that the house is in a utter mess, but frankly speaking, I think it's only slightly messier than before my last DH left.

So why is it a milestone to me? Because I feel EMPOWERED! I had expected that I would probably just cry myself to sleep, feel helpless and useless. Vanessa came through much better than me - she's not as difficult to care for than I had expected. No doubt my siblings chip in to help, and it helps a lot since V adores them and does listen to them. At the same time, I wonder if they are spoiling her, but I know I can discipline her without much problem, so that's another big plus to to yours truly! I'm still surviving caring for her at night, although my skin and my eye bags are showing the signs of lack of sleep. I'm learning a few tricks to get her to follow her daddy in the morning (so I can have some time to do my own stuff, shower and change for work) and getting her to sleep is not as hard as it would be. It helps she's more vocal now, so I know what she wants and is trying to say. Best of all, she can be reasoned with since she understands what I am saying. I have also managed to cut her nails in the partial dark (I have night blindness and bad astig, so the combination is really not ideal) and get her to let me clean her nose (she's having really yucky green stuff in her nose) willingly.

I feel more confident as a mother, and I guess, that's the best present a mummy can hope for, other than the "I love you mummy!" (which I was trying to get her to say today heheehhe).

Major milestones ...

to me at least ...

1) V can officially button her own clothes! (Although it's more like 1 button out of the four on the front)

2) V has officially said "sorry" to me without prompting! (she upset the lid that I had put her cup of water on it, spilling the water in the process - I was like "V!!!" she went "sorry!")

3) V can buckle her own shoes (although I never knew it was such a big deal until one of her play school teacher remarked on it)

4) V can take one of my handphones, switches it to camera mode and tells me to "smile!"

5) V can do a simple 5 piece puzzle by herself (a picture of an eggplant). I was busy so I left her with a box of new puzzles which I dismantled for her, came back about 10 to 15 mins later and she was like "baby make! baby make! - she was obviously proud of her achievement, but I think this mummy is even prouder!

5) The other day, I was sitting down when I felt some pangs of pain on my abdomen (I had spent the hour earlier mopping the floor and cleaning the tiolets), so I went "pain pain pain!" and make some groaning noises. She quickly came over and hug my tummy. She said "sayang" and kissed my tummy. Needless to say, I almost cried!

Brought her to see her PD today as she was having this nasty runny nose that would be wet, green and slimy and then dried, green and yucky, plus her eyes were tearing quite a bit. She did her "look I am so cute" routine, and she cooperated with the PD. Needless to say the PD was charmed by her. She then went outside and did the same routine with the ladies outside. It's not surprising whenever I call the clinic and said I am V's mummy, and they will remember which kid's mummy!

Surviving another weekend

We survived another week and weekend without a maid but I had help from my cousin and aunt. They came over to help clean up and iron some of the clothes, so for that I am extremely grateful since I utterly am hopeless at housework. We did our share too, changing the bedsheets and doing the laundry (1 thing that I am undoubtedly good at!). V was in a not so cooperative mood, I think she knows it's Sunday, so it's back to the CC routine tomorrow.

She's out with her daddy now, and I'm taking a short break. I am starting to have difficulty in bending down and squatting, which is required when I'm showering or bathing her. She knows that mummy's temper is getting shorter, especially when she refuses to cooperate when wearing her diapers, but as usual, still testing what limits she can push. The other day I just sternly told her off when she refused her milk (she asked for it), she pretended to select another cushion and quickly laid down on the floor. She finished the bottle of milk too, all 240ml of it. She can chug down 330ml at 1 go and that quite scares me!

I'm relishing the attention she lavishes on me though, especially when she wants to sleep, and she wants me to cuddle her or to cradle her on my lap. it's not easy with my protruding tummy, but we'll make do. She knows that #2 in the tummy, and she will tell my aunts about the baby in my tummy, which I thought was quite cute. Whether she's in her T2s already or not, it doesn't really matter. We are spending time together, and that's what really matters.

Photo Shoot - Celebrating V's 2nd Birthday!

OK, please note I paid $$$$ for the shoot, so this is not some paid advertising by the photographer. If you are interested in the photographer, please go to www.tomato.sg. Their rates and works are published on their website.

Updates updates and updates

1) My chocolate cake and muffins turn out GREAT! I'll be making them in near future, and I definitely want to try new variation, since both worked as great base recipes (then again, how wrong can you get with betty crocker's instant cake mix - just don't try other brands!).

2) V had a HFMD scare - had low grade fever, mild diarrhoea and a blister on her tongue. I was stuck with her at home for 2 days, we can't go out and she can't spend her energy. It was the toughest 2 days I ever had spent with her! Anyway, it was a scare and *phew* she could go back to CC and I returned to work. Needless to say, I was buried at work the moment I returned but thankfully my siblings and cousins were around to entertain her even though I returned late.

3) Amidst all that drama of HFMD, V turned 2! Yup, my sweet princess is now officially into her terrible twos. Just trying to get her diaper-ed and dressed up every morning is a chore, I estimate we spend a good 1 hour coaxing her to get dressed! She's been running a mild grade fever for the past few days, not sure if it's flu (running nose) but I have to watch out for any signs of HFMD since the CC gave out a letter on 9th saying that 2 kids from the CC came down
with HFMD.

4) Spend over 1K at our southern island of our island for a 3D 2 N stay. It went surprisingly well, V took to the room immediately, unlike the way she fussed and wanted out from the other 5 star hotel we spent 1 night on our sunny island. Speaking of sunny, yes, it was sunny, but come 3 to 4pm, the dark clouds loomed and yes, lo and behold, our ever faithful thunderstorms never ceases to amaze us. We did managed to go to the Underwater World on the first day, and exited into this terrible thunderstorm. We were all slightly wet, thanks to the massive crowds and not very effective shelters. We went to the Dolphin Lagoon on the second day (apparently 1 ticket gets us admitted to both underwater world and dolphin lagoon) and I got suckered into paying $15 for an "interactive" session - basically pat the dolphin, smile at the camera and we get 1 photo as souvenir. When we get around to getting a new scanner (my beloved CX5900 epson died on me just after I got 1 whole batch of new inks!), I'll post up a pic, or I'll link if my hubby has any on his blog later :P)

5) In the absence of the helper, I'm now the main caregiver at home. Let just say I'm more "maternal" than ever. I spent a good 30 minutes trying to "dig out" the mucus stuck in her nose (green, prob need to see her PD if it gets worse) and cutting her fingernails. I can't tell you how proud I am of my achievement. Perhaps I should consider working part-time once #2 comes out out, but I think I need to settle my work comittments first. We also decided not to renew the contract of our helper after her 2 year contract has expired for various reasons and we are now looking for a new helper. Wish us luck to finding a good helper who loves V and #2!

6) Last but not least, we went for a photo shoot to "celebrate" V's birthday and it was really really good! I'll post up some of my favourite photos in the next post.

Baking!

It's one of those days that I feel the intense itch to bake ... I have bought Nigella Express almost 1 year ago and I still have not baked anything from the recipes, so I decided "Just do it!"

For the inaugural recipe from Nigella express, it's the banana butterscotch muffin, which of course, as usual I'll tweak the recipe somewhat.

I've melted butter in place of vegetable oil, used chocolate chips in place of butterscotch chips and replaced 50g flour with 50g quick cook oats.

The results? no idea, it's still in the oven and I'm not too hopeful. The mixture was thick and clumpy. I always thought muffin batter/ mixture was much more liquidy than this :P anyway we'll know tomorrow.

Meanwhile, my chocolate banana nutella chocolate cake is done, but it's still cooling away. It's made with Betty Crocker Chocolate Fudge cake mix, with some changes as usual. Milk replacing water, and melted butter replacing oil (you can tell I really dislike using oil in my baking) and for my own variation, added 3 mashed up bananas, 1 big dollop of nutella into the mix, 1 big dollop of nutella in the middle of the cake with semi sweet chocolate chips, and then topping up with more batter and more chocolate chips. I sure hope it's good :P

Photo (1)

This was taken at the Singapore Zoo last week!

Yet another milestone ...

V is progressing at an astonishing rate ...

Today she uttered the phrase "I want apple" to me, and I was very happy. Just the other day, I was asking her to help me to look for my bag, she went "find mama bag". Today she saw Mr Bean on TV and she went "ah bean!"

She can say "aeroplane sky" but won't say her own name (after all aeroplane and Vanessa are both 3 syllabus words). I guess it's a matter of time ...

We went for a photo shoot today and she was basically "so thrilled" by the photographers she was busy smiling for them (and she doesn't do it for us!). I sure hope she has some great shots so we can print an album for the grandparents to coo at her pictures (she's turning 2 next week).

Terrible Twos?

V is changing her habits like lightning and often I am caught offguard.

1) She now starts her protest from home, refusing to sit in the carseat and crying on the way to CC. She used to start her protest the moment she steps into CC.

2) This morning my hubby dropped her off at the CC, she started clinging on to him, her mouth all downturned ready to start wailing. She did wail as I could hear her cries from outside. When the hubby returned to the car, I asked him and he complained that V did cry, but not for him. She wanted the teacher to carry outside for a walk! *rofl*

3) She is on a milk strike - she only had her usual feed at 7am and throughout the whole day refused milk. She had her nutella bread i packed for her, 2 portions of morning tea and 2 portions of lunch (she asked for more each time she finished her food), then when she reached home at 4pm, wanted rice (she can say 'rice') so they hurriedly cooked for her, she finished 1 and the half bowl of rice. When I came back at 7pm, she was eating again, from my sister's plate (she wiped out 90% of my sister's portion who is a small eater). Then when my hubby came back, she again ate a few spoons of rice from his plate. All this excluding the fact that she already had helpings from her cousins' dinner plate earlier before we reached home. I sure hope she takes her milk tonight! I mean, yes, she drinks quite a fair bit of milk 240ml (8 oz) 4 to 5 times a day but to suddenly drop a few feeds, I am worried if she is getting enough nutrients etc etc etc.

4) She is starting to "streak" again. Last night after I finished bathing her, she refused to put on her clothes and basically streaked in circles around me. *haiz*

Last Trip to the Zoo ...

Well, that's because our family annual membership to the zoo will expire end of the month, and given our schedules, this was the last week we could make it to the Zoo.

My hubby complains about it, that I spend the $$ on the membership, then never go for it, and then make frequent trips at last minute to utilise it. He is just as guilty as me, since he never did quite want to go for any outings on the weekends (he wants to sleep in late till 9 plus). Anyway, we did chalk up enough visits to make it worthwhile, and today, we managed to catch one of the animal feedings. It cost us $23 - $5 for the plate of 4/ 5 sticks of veggies and $18 for the photo they took of us. I am waiting for the hubby to download the pictures so I can convienently link it - I forgot to bring my camera today, or rather I seem to have misplaced it :P

The reason is obvious enough why I'm not renewing the membership (#2 will be popping out in a few months time) but I wonder if V will miss her visits to the zoo. She does complain about the smell, eg when we visit the primates or the zebras, but she seems happy to see the animals (especially when waving bye bye to them). If she does miss her visits to the zoo, then will she blame #2 for it? *sigh* Perhaps I should reconsider when #2 is out.

Off to school!

In the short span of 2 weeks, so much as happened.

1. Vanessa started child care on 2 March. She was happy as a lark, so much so until I felt so useless as a mummy. Everyone praised her, including the principal, the teachers and my fellow mummies. She stayed for 1/2 day, from 8:00am to 1;30pm. She dutifully finished her all her milk, the tea, the lunch given. So much so even her teacher was "astounded" and asked if they should remove the milk feed before her lunch. I told her "no" because V has a mind of her own, and if she doesn't want to eat/ drink, she won't eat or drink. To see her in her uniform, see my hubby's posting here

2. So the following monday, we tried letting her nap and then I picked her up at 4pm, after they had their afternoon tea when they wake up from their nap. She was still very good, the teachers praised her again, that even though she didn't nap for long, she laid on the mattress and didn't fuss.

3. The childcare had an outing to a farm! So I went with her, it was quite fun, she seems to enjoy herself, even petting the rabbit! The teacher was kind enough to help me carry her when I was out of breadth, or rather, tired from trying to catch fishes from the "longkang"! I only caught 1 (so miserable) when I saw the other parents hauling loads into their kids' pails. Anyway, the place was kind enough to top up extra fishes when we all went home, and they are all now happily settling into my water feature (just nice, since all my guppies died).

4. Then .... the crying started, she would cling on, refuse to go to the teacher as per normal. So much so that even the teacher was shocked (since she was so happy to follow them in the first week). Well, it's not better although I was secretly happy for a while. So it's still half day for her at the child care, until she settles. It got so bad on Friday then I cried along with her too!

5. Next week will be bad because I will be very busy at work and I am not sure if I could even have time for lunch, what's more to go and pick her up. How bad, last week I had no time for water and pee break. My phone has lots of missed calls that I couldn't even finish calling everyone back. I could only complete my emails and email enquiries. I dread the coming Monday, but I rather be done with it then to grind my teeth in stress. If anything, I'm more worried about how V is going to cope with child care next week.

6. She had a small birthday party today, it was fun and I think she had fun too. Although she wasn't feeling too good, but she went on to participate in the activities and she even blew out her own candle without any help! Yes, this is a real proud mummy!!!!!! Then ... *haiz* she came down with fever, 39.2! She's now "labelled" with fever coolpatch - one on her forehead and one on the nape of her neck, and with the medication, it seems better. I will have to check her temperature later again to make sure it's not shooting up again. I guess she will be missing her cousins' birthday celebrations tomorrow and school for the coming monday, but let's see how fast she recovers. She's on a growth spurt now, asking for 240ml every 4 hours, on top of her solid meals.

7. Speaking of meals, Takashimaya is having their baby fair and I walloped her usual Pigeon food - I'm $200 dollars poorer, but well, it's quite a fair bit of savings! 20% plus 10%! And she had $6 worth of porridge earlier :P As long as she's eating (with the fever) I'm not complaining.

8. Oh she went for her MMR jab finally. She's now 13.2kg and 84cm tall (I think). It's getting tougher to carry her but she's easier to manage, as in I'll carry her for a short while, she will walk a little way when I asked her to, and then carry her again. She seldom struggles when I carry her (thankfully) so it's not so bad.

9. She's still kissing my tummy on and off, and addresses herself as "mei mei"/ "baby" (in relation to her cousins) and occasionally as "jie jie". We are trying to break the habit of calling her "baby", but really, it's quite difficult :P But I am sure it would be as bad as in my case of my SIL, who were called "baby" by my FIL well into her adulthood :P

10. My birthday wish for my girl? To be always happy and contented. There's a long list more of what I would wish for, but for now, I guess it would suffice.