Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sugi cookies

We made sugi cookies today and then to my horror, I realised I made a mistake in my sugi recipe posted previously in my other blog (I just corrected it).

Anyway thankfully I had 1 kg of almonds to rescue the dough (I accidentally forgot to halved the oil in the recipe), so anyway, here's the corrected version for prosperity! I'll be making another batch, partly to retest the recipe, and partly because I decided I want pink colour sugi biscuits this year!

Sugi Cookies

Ingredients A
600g plain flour
200g icing sugar
¾ teaspoon salt
1 ½ teaspoon baking soda (You can add 1 teaspoon instead if you dislike the taste of baking soda)
1 teaspoon baking powder

Ingredients B
3/4 rice bowls/ 250ml Corn Oil

Ingredients C
1 egg yolk plus 1 egg lightly beaten with 4 drops of egg yellow food colouring
Method
1. Sift ingredients A together 3 times (VERY IMPORTANT).

2. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture, pour oil into the center. Mix well into a crumbly dough. Let the dough rest in the mixing bowl for 30 minutes to 1 hour, covered with a wet towel.

3. Divide and roll into balls. Poke the center with the sharper end of a chopstick. Brush with egg wash. Baked at 150°C for 30 minutes (Preheat Oven for at least 20 minutes before baking).

If the cookies taste floury, it means the cookie is under cooked.

Optional:
Add 200g almonds – toasted/ dry fry in a work till fragrant and coarsely grounded the almonds when cooled. Add a bit more oil if dough is too dry. Additional sugar is not required.

V says ...

Papa: next time Papa bring didi out with V to go gai gai ok?

V: Papa carry didi OK? V walk because didi cannot walk. So Papa carry didi, then V walk OK? V must hold Papa's hand, otherwise people take baby (referring to herself) away. Then Papa have to buy a new baby and V have to buy a new Papa.

*standing ovation by mummy*

da pump

As we celebrate #2's 7 month (and I did that by bringing him to the PD, duh), it means also that I have been bf-ing (well, pumping) for 7 months too.

He now weighs in at a hefty 9kg. I would think he is at 90th percentile or so, but I am too lazy to check.

I'm glad he is doing well, so at least I feel that my efforts have not gone to waste. The money invested in a medela dual pump (although 2nd hand) has not gone to waste :P

I am thankful my CL this time was so pro-bfing, so it made life a lot LESS stressful.

I'm not sure if I could continue until 9 months (as I did for V) but I'll just do what I can. It's demoralising that the amount I pump seems to be getting less and less, esp the right side is not very cooperative. I end up pumping for 1.5 hours with a dual pump - same amt of time I used to spend on the single pump.

#2, mummy will try her best ok? love ya, and mummy is falling in love with you more and more with each passing day.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

grumpy, and counting to 2 ...

#2 is grumpy today, very grumpy in fact. He didn't hew me today - he just looked in another direction or through me when I was trying to get his attention. I figured the reason much later in the evening - because I didn't bring him out :P

This morning V accompanied me to Phoon Huat (argh I am so upset, I lost my privilege card and they don't issue any replacements anymore!!!!) to buy stuff for tomorrow's bakefest and we came back much later (although it was supposed to be a go-buy-and-come-back trip). We went to my mum's place because I had a tummy ache and her place was the nearest. So the toilet trip became a lunch trip for V and myself (she had her porridge and her uncle to fed her) and I also dropped off the baking stuff, so that I didn't have to lug them along. Then I made a trip to the petrol station to top up the gas... and to get more ang pow packets.

*side announcement*
Ok mummies, the best place to get ang pow packets is from SPC. The packets are the big type, which means you don't have to fold the notes, and they are of good quality paper - study and colourfast. Not only that, you don't have to spend $50 in order to exchange for 1 misery pack (hear that you cheapskate shopping centres/ supermarkets) - just ask nicely and they will gladly give you more than some (OK the aunty mode kicks in - I swiped 10 packs since they have 6 or 7 packets per pack). Get them while you can, and pick up some abalone from them too ... their pricing is actually very competitive!

Then on the way back, I had to pick up lunch for the hubby - V was sleeping in the car, so I parked (managed to get a lot that was pretty near), left the engine running, and I ran to the shop, ordered, shove $10 to them and asked them to please bring it out to me as my girl was sleeping in the car. So I waited on the pavement watching the car, grab the change and lunch pack with much thanks, and dashed back to the car. Thankfully V was still fast asleep.

Reached home, and I was getting my pump stuff ready when #2 woke up. He didn't even greet me with a smile as he usually did. He looked really grumpy. *sigh*

On the way to the FIL's place, only did he start to smile and make his conversational noises. Hmmm ... OK so I guessed he misses his daily car rides :P On the way home, he was sleepy and wanted to be carry. Against the law (see what mummies do for their kids!), I took him out from the car seat and carried him. But still, he fussed until I starting singing. Almost immediately, he kept quiet.

There are 2 songs I found that he would actually quieten down to listen - Doe a deer and a hymn. The latter was the thing that finally made him sleep after he cried non-stop for 30 mins during our transit in Narita. For him, I didn't really have a song for him, unlike V. I sang to V "baa baa black sheep" most of the times when she was inside me. V sang that as a first song :P

I could only think of the times I sang the hymn to V, particularly one short local trip before #2 was born - so perhaps, he was listening too.

When the babies would sleep in my arms after fussing, this particular moment always reaffirmed my ability as a mother. I do not have a lot of confidence as a mother, especially when they are younger, since they cannot really express themselves (or I cannot understand their needs). So it's always nice that I can manage some basic stuff other than playtime.

*****************

V can count to 10 and she is trying to count to 20. However, sometimes I really wonder if she really understands the concept of numbers. Today, I know for sure, V is definitely there and I should have more faith in her. She is probably a lot more smarter than I am!

On the way to the FIL's place, she found 2 sweets, so she was happily saying she has 2 purple sweets and then, "one for me, one for my mummy, one for ... my papa don't have. one for me, one for my mummy and none for my papa!"

CNY is round the corner and so is V day!

Is it going to be a really romatic CNY this year since V day and CNY 1st day all falls on the same day ...

for me, it's CNY first, romance can come later, if I have the time for it.

I'll be stressed leading up to that day ...

1) having enough new notes for ang pows
2) getting new clothes for boy boy - V has no issues
3) ensuring I don't put on some more weight, else I can't fit into my clothes
4) baking, baking and more baking - sugi cookies, chocolate cookies and chocolate cornflakes. maybe I'll attempt kueh lapis next year :P

I haven't had the time to worry about spring cleaning ... whatever!

It's unfortunate that major festive seasons (CNY and Christmas for me) and the public hols here always sync with my work peak periods. Little wonder why I start shopping as early as post Christmas sales the year before :P


Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm a lucky mummy ...

Recently I posted about V playing "hide and kiss" with me ... today's is about #2.

Not so much as he kisses me, but the fact he wants me to carry him.

Now, you are probably be thinking - of cuz a kid wants his mummy to carry him! ah, but see, I'm not that kind of mummy (not v good with new borns) and he's mostly with my family/ helpers while I am at work. At night he doesn't sleep with me, and most of the time, I'm with V at home.

Recently, I notice that when he spots me, he will either grunt or squeal, start kicking and his hand outstretched to me, leaning in my directly. And .. he will shoot me looks if I just stand and not move towards him.

Yesterday we were all napping in the same room, V, #2 and me (I took urgent leave since they had to see the doctor for 1 reason or other). #2 woke up and starting fussing. I buried my face into the pillow (I was really very tired) but the fussing didn't stop. I looked up, and #2 was STARING AT ME UNHAPPILY from the arms of the helper. In the end, I had to get up and carry him. Then he stopped fussing immediately. When I brought him out of the room, the helper followed and he protested, thinking the helper wanted to carry him.

We did a "test" - helper 1 offered to carry him, he looked at her, turned away and cling on to me. My majie offered to carry him, again, he looked at her, looked at me, looked at her, turned away again and pulled my hair! He must be thinking - notti mummy! pull your hair!

He is also happy just to sit on my lap and observe the surroundings, when someone could be carrying him around, and playing with him.

Yes, the trip certainly helped our bonding and I look forward to the KM classes each sunday - my time with him =)

Monday, January 18, 2010

history of ...

england, and it's kings and queens to be exact.

For the past few days, I am obsessed with reading on wikipedia, the lives of the kings and queens ... I cannot remember where I started from, but possibly 2 or 3 monarchs before Queen Elizabeth (I). I always remembered her for the movie "Elizabeth".

well, what did I learn? Being a mother, the thing that stood out to me, is the loss of their children. Through miscarriages, still births, and their passing before their parents ... it's so heart wrenching.

Even though V has been quite naughty lately, throwing tantrums and such, she's also my angel, hugging me and giving me her kisses and love unconditionally. #2 is just as sweet, giving his utmost adoring smile when he sees me, and holding on to me tightly, not wanting to let go.

I was just telling my friend and the hubby I want #3 and their response was similar "where got time!"

Well, time is what we make of it. Yes, we still have 24 hours a day, and I'll be hard pressed for time, between work, family obligations and 3 kids. I won't have as much time to spend with each of them, but love can only grow, not diminish. It's not love shared between 2 or 3 kids, it's love MULTIPLIED by 2 or 3 times.

If I was asked this 5 years ago, and my reply would be I'll won't even have 1 kid. It just shows how wrong I was, and I'll gladly admit it =)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

air kisses and potty training

We had been toying with the idea of potty training V for some time - why I said toying was because we weren't too serious about carrying it out. I wasn't keen to potty train her before #2 came along was I didn't want to do extra work, in case she regresses when #2 arrive.

Now that #2 has arrived, and they are getting along well, it's time for me to think about it seriously. So, we are doing it in baby steps.

1) she gets home for CC and goes diaperless till before we goes home. This will be pushed to diaperless until she reaches home.

2) Weekends at home, will be diaperless (unless she naps). We will put on diapers when we go out. This is partly due to my disdain for dirty toilets. I CAN'T do it - the smell along makes me want to throw up. Many a times, I have rushed home just to do my business, both small and big, because I CANNOT and WILL NOT use the toilets available outside.

So far, so good, except 1 minor hiccup. We notice that she put will put her hand on her but when she wants to pee, and this is our visual clue. Other times, if she is willing, she will tell us that she wants to go to the toilet. The only hiccup was in my bedroom, she was playing when she suddenly went "pee pee, floor wet wet". After next week, I'll tell the teachers she's is in midst of being potty trained, so hopefully the teachers will encourage her.

I always blow airkisses to V, with a loud "muaking" sound. Some times, she does the same to me - she will peek through the door, and whoever sees the other party first, will blow the kiss first. This morning, she came to the bedroom door, peek and then "MUAK" and then ran off. This happened a few times until the door was wide open (I was pumping). Since she had no where to hide, she would dash across to the other side of the room, turning and "muaking" at the same time. I lost count of the times she ran zigzag outside of the bedroom. She was giggling away non-stop. Me? I was delirious. I mean, how many mummies are as lucky as me?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Making Bread ... sun dried tomatoes that is ...

I'm waiting for my bread to be finished baking, but looking at the time, it's another 45 minutes so I decide to call it a day and just go sleep. Hopefully it's edible and my girl will enjoy it for breakfast (it's sundried tomato bread with parmesan cheese, garlic and italian herbs). The great thing about this particular recipe is that I seem to have found a recipe site that allows me to make bread without it overflowing. It's the kenwood bread machine recipe site! It gives me the basic measurements for the recipe I want to try, and based on my research, I just a little of extra ingredients. So far, based on what I have seen through the window, it looks good :P but looks can be deceiving right? the verdict will be out in a few hours time anyway.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

back to the same old routine ...

It's sad ... #2 looks at me forlornly when I return from work ... as usual we get to spend less than 15 minutes together, before I get distracted by dinner, family member and V. By the time we reach home, it's time for me to pump and for Ian to sleep.

By the time I finish pumping, it's time for V to sleep.

By the time she sleeps, it's time for me to sleep.

When I wake up, it's time to pump, then shower then go to work. Ian would have been dressed and had his cereal. All we get is another 3 minutes walk to the car, and he holds my finger during the car ride to my mum's place. Then he gets dropped off, again, with a sad look on his face, and I'm off to work to drop V. Today was better, she didn't cry, but was still upset.

On the way to work, it's small talk with the hubby, more often than not, it's silence. Then it's work, work and work. Even though we both work for the same organisation, we had only lunch together 3 times! Yes, it's true! We don't even chat during or SMS during office hours because we don't have the time. Then it's time to knock off work ... and the same cycle starts again ...

Sad? Yes, when I don't get to spend much time with my kids, especially #2. The government encourages us to have 3 or more , if we could. The answer is cannot. I'm already struggling with my finances with 2 kids, double income and a guilty complex. 3? I think I'll be so eaten with guilt that I'll be in depression!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Shocker of the day

If you recalled, a few days earlier, I posted about #2 drinking 160ml of milk and that he is challenging V to the title of Milk King/ Queen?

Well, he beats her hands down - he is officially crowned the Milk King. He just finished 200ml of milk at 1 shot today. No, he didn't regurgitate any bit at all...

Yes, I am still shocked and stressed - I cannot possibly produce so much milk in a day for him!!! Gone were the days when I could produce 5 bottles of milk (averaging 150ml each) within a span of 12 hours! If I am lucky, I could produce 4 bottles max ...

Ah well, he's taking well to mix feed (BM plus FM) and besides he is very happy to be eating solids ... so ... I shouldn't be stressed out ... just enjoy him as it is, and produce whatever I can for his needs. I may not be able to provide BM for 12 months, but I'll just do what I can ...

Friday, January 08, 2010

TGIF!

I'm really thankful for the weekend ... This has been one exhausting week, and I only worked for 4 days! And it's not even our peak season yet ... age is really getting to me ...

V finally conked off, after me as usual. These days she is sleepy before 8pm, I can tell from her eyes and her eye bags (shadows at the corner of her eyes) are showing. I guess she is still having issues in childcare, thus not really sleeping as well as before. She is just resisting the "call" to sleep, since we return from work by 7 plus, and she wants attention from her daddy. She doesn't want to stay in the bedroom - always wanting to go outside. She doesn't want to go school - always wanting to go "somewhere". *sigh* my poor girl, wondering if she feel "separated" since now she has to go back to "school", #2 gets to stay at my mum's place, and her cousin is now off to primary school. She certainly doesn't take well to changes, and it's something we have to remember.

Poor #2 is also neglected, since I return home exhausted from work and I look foward to sleeping after washing up. I brought him to my bedroom after I showered (he was still awake) and we played a little while with V and the hub. He was quite happy, smiling and kicking but he was also sleepy. It was a good 15 minute still - before he starting whining. I had planned to bring him in to sleep with us for the weekend but I'm worried - I'm quite tired and I am not be as alert as usual. What if I crush him accidentally? The backup plan would be to sleep with him on V's bed, since she insist on sleeping on our bed. I'll see how it goes when I'm done with my pump ...

I'm planning to bake the crumb top cinnamon coffee cake this weekend - I think I'm obsessed enough with it, so I'll just go ahead with it. Otherwise it's worse than craving for stuff when I was pregnant (I got my durian fix pretty easily :P).

Oh yes, and to get the berry scone recipe from my BIL ... mmmmm

Thursday, January 07, 2010

New Decade New Resolutions?

I desperately want to win this contest, so I can get a blog makeover - hopefully I can finally get around to merging my 2 blogs together.

So what will be my new year resolutions?

I don't want to make resolutions like clearing up my house and desk, because I'll never get down to it. I end up having piles of stuff on it, after I shortly clear up the space anyway.

I want ... I want ...
1) spend more time with my kids - they are growing up so fast and yet, I spend most of my time at work or in front of the computer. How? Draw up a proper schedule so I know what I want to do together with them at what time.
2) spend more time with my oven - I desperately want to bake, bake and bake. How? Plan for 1 particular item to bake per weekend, research and then settle on 1 recipe to try.
3) spend more time with my camera - another long lost passion. I am sure I can take better pictures than my lackluster attempts for the past few years.
4) spend more time being a wife - I need to remember I am a wife to someone too, other than being a mother of 2 kids. Relationship = garden. You reap with you plant, and your results depend on what kind of efforts and care you put into it.

so here it is ... you can try your luck too =)




How to enter?

(you have to complete all of the following -except the 4 that is optional-)

  1. Subscribe to the Blog via RSS or email!
  2. Post about this contest on your blog using the banner below, and LINKING to this post with the guidelines.
  3. Come back here and leave me comment with a link to your post, and tell me what is/was your New Year’s resolution for 2010!!
  4. If you use Twitter, retweet about this Contest in Twitter to get twice the chances (and remember to leave me your twitter username in the comment)!!
  5. Only 1 comment per person, so make sure you put all the info in your comment. I will delete the extra comments and asign you all numbers for the shuffle once it closes

Deadline to enter:

January 20th, 2010 (specially extended because of the holidays). At midnight of the 20th, at GMT+1 (norwegian midnight) I will close the comments on this post.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Plans for the weekend

It's 3 more days to the weekend and I have decided I need to kick start my lethargy.

1. Bake something!!!! Ok on the topmost of my mind, is this crumble top cinnamon coffee cake. Had one in hawaii, bought from Costco and it was SO GOOD. Unfortunately, the ants got the remaining half so we didn't finish the whole yummy cake. I want to bake the same cake and eat it!

2. Start cooking food for Ian. I used to make my food for Vanessa and I think I should do the same for Ian. The cost of baby food is increasing ($2.30 for 1 jar - I could have bought loads of carrots for it!) and I think Ian should have the lovingly cooked food by me, like Vanessa did.

3. Do something about my hair!

4. Bring Ian out with Vanessa by ourselves.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

At the end of the day ...

I came back, and I conked off by 9pm.

This time I was feeling giddy, so I had the perfect excuse to lie down and ... well ... I fell asleep - before V fell asleep again.

Just managed to wake up, and trying to force myself to keep awake, so that I can complete my pump.

Jetlag? Unable to adjust back to Singapore time? No idea, I just want the bed, and I want it baddddddd.

*yawn* even researching for recipes is not helping ... argh ...

down down down ...

my mood is Unhappy face

why? cuz my milk ss is down down down ... I had thought I would have problem in Hawaii, but I had enough milk for him then, just not enough for him now =(

i could pump over a litre a week ago, now? barely 800ml.

this is so depressing.

doesn't help that I'm going back to work today - let's cross fingers I didn't leave out things before I left and that my colleagues did what they were supposed to do, without pointing back at me "she didn't tell me"

i'm still having difficulty in adjusting back to the time here. I conked off before 8pm last nite (2am in hawaii) - woke up at 12 midnite to pump (6am in hawaii). in fact, i was hankering for bed by 5pm (11pm in hawaii).

let me strike toto or singapore big sweep first prize with no co-winners can? i promise to do my bit for the community too! just no loans to friends - lky was right: once u lend $$, u are no longer friends.

hopefully my mood will improved today - but it's not a good start, looking at the miserly 250ml i just pumped out *cry*

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Trip to Hawaii - Part III

Hanuma Bay (I think) - see the lovely waters ... *sigh*

People fishing on the rocks - could be hunks but I'm not that sure!

Vanessa with her daddy again ... look at the horizon behind them - no wonder people think that water will fall off the edge in olden times ... it's simply beautiful - v few ships out there and you just look out to the endless sea and sky ...


Ian doing his commentary "and over there, we have the hanuma bay, and we have a lovely hill behind us"



"if you look that way ladies and gentlemen, you will see why people say the ocean is blue. Look at the horizon where the sky and sea meet"



Trip to Hawaii - Part II

Vanessa standing on the world famous Waikiki beach! Despite all the sun tanning lotion, the water is NON greasy, PERFECTLY CLEAR ... and the sand is wonderfully fine and soft!!!


With her papa, busy with playing sand.

Showing off her loot of sand.



Outside the Cheesecake Factory - Food was delicious, but you must save space of their cheesecake - it's so good I can eat 3 slices on my own!!!! Didi sitting in the double stroller with the sister Vanessa trying to "buuchi" didi (tickle i think).



However, didi is more interested in nibbling the sling :P



Trip to Hawaii - Part I

Vanessa having her breakfast at Changi Airport Terminal 1 - Killiney Kopitiam. Eating her fav "egg egg" at an ungodly hour of 6:30am or so (for me at least). I woke up at 3am to pump, so that we can reach the airport by 5:00am.


Stepping on the carpet - going to board the plane!!!


Vanessa's children meal by JAL on route to Hawaii. Let's just say I wish I had a Children's Meal too. The food is so much yummier! She's in her Pooh and Tigger PJ's after she vomitted upon landing in Narita. The turbulence during the last 30 mins before landing was really bad - she vomitted quietly - everything out in 3 big gushes and then promptly fell asleep. We spent 20 mins cleaning her up and Ian was crying non-stop until I changed his diapers. Then we left the plane with Vanessa and Ian pacified.

Grandma, my sister and the 2 kids waiting at the boarding area to get onto the plane to Oahu. Thank God for my sister - I probably would have quit and flew on the next flight back home. Ian was quite difficult during the 2 flights and we were all exhausted from taking care of him. I managed to get a room at the airport, so I could shower Vanessa (she was basically covered in vomit) but she refused to change out of her PJs! Ah well, at least she's not sticky with vomit!


Our limo - which is a 15 seater! It had an LED starry mirror roof - looked kinda sleazy actually! Reminds me of the limos I see on CSI Las Vegas hehehe.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Jetlag and porridge

Ok, I am getting old. I cannot sleep as much as I used to (like 14 hours at 1 stretch). After my pump at midnight, I loitered in the kitchen. I finally ate dinner (I went to sleep at 5 ish pm with V) at 1am - had a cup of walnut meal drink (taste like hup tow wu), a cup of K's cereal and a bowl of rice with bittergourd/ spare ribs. V also skipped dinner and slept throughout. That pump I did, only had enough milk for slightly more than 2 feeds. The helper rushed out shortly after I placed the milk into the fridge, so guessing there was a serious shortage of breastmilk, I took out about 480ml of frozen breastmilk to thaw. #2's appetite is shocking. One night I fed him about 125ml of milk and another 125ml of water before he finally settled in. My guess is, he's taking 160ml or more now. If it means a longer stretch in between feeds, and his stomach can take it, it's good news - he may now sleep through the night! Time to retire the 125ml bottles and take out the 260ml bottles. He is seriously challenging V to the milk king/queen title!

I then settled to watch some TV - History channel if you must know, about the fall of the Berlin wall. It was interesting enough to make me glued to it till 3am. Came back into the bedroom, but was out within 5 minutes. #2 was crying still, so I went over, waited till he finished the feed (and wanted more as usual) but I took him, patted him and he fell asleep promptly. I then brought him back to sleep with us - something we hadn't done so since he was 1 month old. We managed to squeeze everyone into the bed - a very tight squeeze but it worked out anyway. He woke up a few times, to complain about the lack of space and the warmth, but he settled back to sleep quickly. The last round, he had a major fart session and woke up V too. I brought him out and passed him to the helper, who was waiting with a big bottle of milk ;P I wasn't so sure he wanted milk, his pattern has all changed but anyway, I let the helper dealt with it. I then proceeded to cook porridge - pei dan chok for breakfast. I knew the hubby like it and I didn't mind porridge - it helps to settle the stomach after travelling. For V, I used the fish and veggies steamed for her dinner last night to make a separate pot of porridge. By the time I was done, I found V playing quietly by herself on the bed! I think she was probably awake since #2 woke up and she was probably just playing by herself for the past 1 hour. I woke up the hubby to feed her milk, and then it's time to pump!

#1 and #2 are in the living room, playing and the hubby is probably helping himself to the porridge :P I made a cup of Mother's Tea and hopefully that will help to kickstart the milk SS again. *sigh*

Family Reunion

I can't adjust back to Singapore time! Ya, now I am wide awake, because it's morning over at Hawaii now! I would be probably either trying to settle #2 or pumping milk, missing the gorgeous sunrise once again, at this time. Thankfully in my room, there's a mirror placed just right so that I could watch the sunrise in the mirror's reflection.

I missed a lot of things ... I missed going on trips at my own whims and fancy, I missed doing what I want and what I like during the trips, and I missing having my own time to "stone out" when watching the skies/ sceneries. But ... I would missed my babies if they don't come along too, so I guess the "what I want to do" bit will just have to wait a little till the kiddos get older.

In anycase, this wasn't a "holiday trip" per se. I hadn't seen my younger sister for about 5 years, since I got married. I had never met her 2 kids, which were born in the same years as mine too. So when she moved to Hawaii, I grabbed the chance to make the trip. The timing was about right - I should be able to clear some leave during this December (I needed to then anyway, otherwise I would have forfeited my annual leave) and next May/ June, I would be busy at work.

The trip would be a lot easier than flying all the way to New York, or so I thought! And this trip turned out to be one massive family trip. In total, 3 families and my mum (13 pax including children) flew in to Hawaii. 13 pax also squeezed into a 4 bedroom vacation rental house, while another 4 pax put up at a service apt as they flew in later. It was chaotic but like old times, when 6 of us used to sleep in 1 bedroom when we were kids. My brother in law cooked most of the times (the one based in Hawaii) and I want his recipes for his cranberry sauce, his scones and belgian waffles! Even V liked his ginger fried rice, which I initally doubted that she would eat it (spicy from the ginger).

We didn't really had the "time" time to catch up since we were all respectively busy with our kids and doing the necessary touristy stuff. It was good to see my sister and her family - the 5 year gap didn't really matter, we just picked up where we left from, and I am so glad she didn't picked up a fako american accent. That would probably have killed me! I am also amazed at her ability to survive as a SAHM with 2 young kids and with no family or social network for support. I'll probably have packed and gone home long time ago!

Now, I am eagerly waiting for their trip to Singapore in a few months time. Hopefully they can stay for 2 months or so, and it would be a good time for the kids to catch up! Now my sister's daugher wants to come here so that she can play with the "other gecko hunters".

Yeah!

Friday, January 01, 2010

SAHM 101

I survived my crash course of taking care of the kids for 2 weeks without the help of maids (but lots of family and hubby's help). For the first time, I had to clean, bath, feed, and put him to bed myself - I barely survived, but I am proud to say i did a pretty good job with a serious lack of sleep.

On the flight, I almost died, but with the help of my sister and BIL, boy boy was finally subdued and calm down, and left the plane with 1 big smile. On the first night, my goodness, he cried for 3 hours straight, not to mention the fussing of 3 hours before that. Again, thanks to the hubby. sister and BIL. Initially I didn't dare to bathe him myself, but eventually I did, and it wasn't as bad as I thought.

As the days flew, it got easier to gauge his needs and one of the nights, he was so happy that he was giggling and kicking non stop for 30 minutes. In the end, I swaddled him, he cried, I put him on my shoulder and he promptly fell asleep.

I didn't get to do much sightseeing and shopping, but I am glad for the chance to bond with him. V was a fantastic sister, telling him "Didi, shhhh, oi oi, don't cry". Even when the kids sleep on the bed together, for some strange reasons, they gravitate towards each other, and one of the days, V was napping next to #2, holding his hand.

On the flight back, the first leg was manageable, but stressful. #2 was screaming for close to 1 hour during the transit. However, he conked off the moment we settled into the plane back to Singapore and he slept almost throughout the flight, give take a few moments of fussing. When we depart the plane and on the way back home, he was a good good boy! He never cried or fuss at all. The helpers were happy to see the kids, but #2 woke up at 4:30am and wanted to play WAHAHA ... he only went back to sleep at 9am this morning. I think he missed his Jumparoo too ... he was cackling like mad when he was jumping in it. I think he grew taller or heavier, becuz his heel can now touch the floor, instead of just his toes!

If I get around to it, I'll post some pics =)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Doing the prep work ...

We had to make a trip to the mall to get a luggage bag - I abandoned the idea of bringing #2 along since I am quite tired and I didn't get a chance to nap this weekend yet. We waited till the 2nd hand stroller was delivered (bought it off ebay) and then we went to one of the "mega" malls in the neighbouring areas.

We had lunch first since I was already quite hungry. Hubby suggested Aijisen and I had no objections since I was in the mood for soupy stuff and I like that place anyway. PARENTS ALERT! We ordered our lunch and decided to get 2 set meals plus 1 kid meal for V. SURPRISE!!!! The kid's meal comes free with 2 set meals! It meant that we had to forgo the discount if we pay by a certain card, but the kid's meal was worth more that the discount so we happily forgot the card discount. Although V didn't eat the fried ebi that comes with the set, we exchanged that with her from the side side (fried fish) that the hubby ordered. To my "surprise", he didn't order the fried fish with the intention to share with V, and he "whined" when I was exchanging the items from their plates. Well, no surprise here, I ignored him.

After lunch, we were looking at some stuff at the Timberland outlet and then saw a queue ... and kids were eating candy floss. Hubby and V only saw the pink Christmas tree and they headed toward that while I plonk myself in the queue. They finally figured out that I was missing somewhere and then saw me queueing ... It took a while, there was about 12 kids ahead of us and the lady dishing out the candy floss had to clean and add more sugar from time to time. Finally it was our turn! V let the hubby carry her because this short mummy couldn't carry her high enough to see what was going on in the cauldron. Candy floss is BAD for kids, but once in a purple moon wouldn't hurt. She licked it a few times while us, the parents, were fighting to get a bite out of it (she wouldn't let us!). The last I saw it, V had floss on her face and the hubby was happily licking the stick (I went somewhere to get some stuff). So guess who is the kid after all :P

Originally we wanted to pick up a Samsonite from the outlet shop, but we looked at the price and changed our minds. V was kicking up such a fuss because she was sleepy (wanted me to carry her) but I needed to make a trip to the loo ... on the way to the loo, I passed by Winter Time (where the old factory outlet was based) and saw that they had some luggage bag within our budget so SMSed the hubby to come over. In the end, we bought this "bird shit green" bag (it isn't all that bad) which cost us over $100, and a wooly hat for V (she finally perked up seeing the hat and was running around happily and letting her daddy carry her) and #2. I also picked up one woollen sweater for #2 (which cost 1/2 the price of the luggage bag!!!!) since I don't really have much warm clothing for him.

V is very much in her "spiteful" stage now. She no longer wants mummy to carry her out of the car, etc etc, and she would even smack my hand away when I want to hold her hand. She does get disciplined when she starts stamping feet, throwing tantrums or hitting at us, but generally I will stay away if she prefers the daddy. It's fine with me and she will get the message that throwing tantrums do not help. If she's jealous that I spend time with #2, that's perfectly normal, and I will give her some time to grow out of it.

End of the day, hmmm, well, she still wants me to carry her when she is sleepy right? =)

Friday, December 11, 2009

sweet memories are made of these ...











counting down to ... a holiday of *stress*?

We will be flying off in about a week's time and I'm getting stressed up over it. We have yet to pack, plan the trip and my biggest stress factor, I'll be taking care of #2 myself - without the help of the maids.

Some people applaud my sheer bravery in bringing both kids with us on a long haul trip - it's about 16 hours excluding the stopovers. Bravery or sheer stupidity ... i don't know but I can't bear to leave either kid behind and I cannot afford to pay for the maid to accompany us on the trip ... so there ... well just try it out right? and I hope the other passengers won't line up to strangle me.

Well, I know it's a holiday, and yet I cannot fully enjoy myself running around painting the town red, but it's would be a good time for me to bond with boy boy ... he's a lot more expressive now - showing his displeasure by pushing us or turning away ... and he has learnt to ignore me by looking away if I come back late from work ... i truly look forward to our bonding time and I supposed I just have to learnt how to manage the stress ... i just hope #2 doesn't suffer in anyway!

V recently performed in her childcare centre end of the year concert, and it was quite funny to see her, because she was one of the least expressive one - didn't really want to "shake her booty" and with a perpetual scowl on her face ... but she went through her parts and she was the only one who did the actions in accordance to the music (the rest were a little too ahead) ... and after the concert is _over_, she now starts to sing the song in the car ... and other songs too ... 6 months ago I worry about her not really speaking, and now, she can negotiate and put 2 and 2 together ...

She was also whining about playing this "mango puzzle" and we, for the longest time, just ignore her because we don't have any puzzles that has a picture of a mango! We assumed she was just making it up or just wanted some other puzzles ... then one find day, my ultra slow brain finally figured out what she wanted ... "you want zingo is it?!?" and she nodded slowly ... she must be thinking "finally! what took them so LONG to figure out what is mango puzzle!" So she is happily playing with the daddy on her bed now ... the daddy is happy too, since he gets kisses by giving up his tiles to her, and she would pat his face and promise to find the next tile for him ...

We also recently (just the 3 of us) took some pictures ... V was in a FOUL mood so there was hardly any shots of her... didi had this "gong gong" look about him which I just adore ... will post up later =)

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Makeup by mummy dearest

V will be having her school concert this coming Saturday and the rehearsal was today. I read the instructions for parents and duly followed it.

We woke up extra early so that we could get V to eat enough to get her through the rehearsal if necessary and that I have some time to put on makeup for her. She was very cooperative when I was putting on the makeup for her (who knew she was such a vainpot :P) but she kept eating the lipstick. Ah well ... Daddy dearest took a pic for her but I have no idea where he kept it ... I'll post up a link when he uploads to his webby.

Then when we reach the school, they told us the kids would be going out to play first, have their shower, then go for the rehearsal *argh* All my efforts wasted. I wasn't the only parent who misunderstood their instructions - next time I will check with them verbally first!!!

Ian was on the sideline, staring at his sister ... haha ... he looked so cute. These days, he will give me the "grumpy" look when he sees me after work. He will only cheer up a little after I cuddle him. Yes, he can be quite vocal or he can move his body enough to indicate he wants me to carry him. V is a little jealous, and she's sticking to Daddy dearest like glue now. Well, it's good for me because it gives me breathing space. Good for Daddy too, since he used to complain that V doesn't want him around!

I also started Ian on FM today, 1 scoop to mix with BM, in preparation for the trip. I just hope I know how to take care of him! I am quite apprehensive, but hopefully, I can remember what I used to do with V when she was at the same age!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

too much "talking"

I sometimes think I have a really overactive mind, like a runaway train ...

case in point:

I was lying in bed, for some reason, drafting an angry statement in my head to the hub (which I assumed did not drink his soup, and left it cold on the table yet again), "Why? Do you want to wait till the lizards crap in your soup?"

Then immediately, my focus shifted, to some memories stored in some lost vault - long, long, long time ago, some 10 to 30 years ago, at my parents' old place, we used to sit at this big round table for meals. This table was, and still is central in our lives, so much so, it is now at the new place. My brother had it restored and now 3 generations of the family is eating at the same table, same as the few decades ago. If I am not wrong, the table is 50 years old? *brain alert - flood. OK I'll talk about this later*

*argh* my brain shifted focus again. My final project for my masters was a proposal for a online shop for this teak furniture shop. My focus shifted because I remember they did furniture restoration/ repair other than building new furniture for sale at their workshop. Ok FOCUS!!!

Incidentally, talking about focus (I might as well get it out here before I lose focus on my original point again), I had attended this course on clarity of decision making (or something) and part of the course, we had this thingy that we slip on to our finger, told to think about something, and then other people got to witness your brain amazing ability to focus on the "something" - by measuring some brainwaves, I supposed.

Back to the table. Each of us had an assigned seat, which was never mentioned, but we just took our usual seats so much, it became "MY SEAT" inscribed in our minds. Anyway, there was these 2 to 3 seats, under the light, was prone to young lizards testing their courage/ pranks. Why I say this? Well, more often than not (by the way, these 2 to 3 seats are also the seats we do our homework on, since they offer the best lighting for our poor myopic eyes), we get baby/ young lizards falling off the lights and landing on our backs/ heads. Someone had lizard crapped into their soup before, etc etc.

And now since we are talking about those lizards, I always think they are a bit suicidal. I had killed lizards unknowingly, more times than I would considered it as coincidental. See, along this path I had to get out of the kitchen to the hall, there was this spot where, here in Singapore roads, considered it as a high accident spot (they used to put some skull signage or something??). This spot, I had stepped on at least 10 lizards, squashing them flat in the middle, leaving them to flounder to death eventually. This is the spot, where lizards dare each other to dash across to the other side when I walk by. Perhaps, we should ask "Why did the lizard cross the road?" The answer would be to me "Because they had a suicidal dare - to see who would become the next roadkill."

And this kitchen, was the "heart" of the house, which was some 4 to 5m by 2m rectangular size space, where it was also a pathway from the bedrooms to the living/ dining/ TV area. Which was strange, considering the size of the house. Now, my kitchen rival that kitchen is terms of size, except my place is much smaller than our old house.

I also remembered some kitchen incidents (trying to cook apples = cooked chopsticks in the end and breaking the first thermos flask, etc) but I shall not dwell on it here. I want to write about something that happens in my old house as sure as the monsoon season in Singapore, the "flooding that happens once every 50 years". Before the widening of the canal along 6th ave, once we have heavy rain, it's likely that 1) our place would be flooded (YES THE HOUSE) and 2) the traffic function outside the old NIE, would also flood for sure (OK, A & W just popped up!). We had flood waters in our place up to knee deep MORE than once, and that poor carpet, was soaked through many times. Things got worse when our neighbour had rebuilt their place (reminds of fireworks!), the drain got blocked and even just normal thunderstorm, our place was likely to get water in too. That big round table, and the few sideboards, are still standing in the new place, in good conditions. Yes, they may have been revanished and repaired, but could you imagine your Ikea table/ sideboards, taking that kind of abuse and still remaining in 1 piece after 50 years?

And about that A & W, we loved that place. It was us kids, our very special place. It's the only A & W over a drain (well canal). It even had an attap hut look, with the dried leaves (I don't know what they are called) over the roof. I remembered we used to go for the waffles, then they had to widen the canal, and it's gone for ever.

With that widening of canal, all the fun we had at the flood waters at the traffic junction was gone too. We used to wade out, waist deep, and trying to control the toy power boat. It was quite useless since the current was too strong for the puny motor. Strange too, how "unscared" we were then, of any insects, worms, and yucky stuff that could be floating in the water. I guess those car motorists would be cursing at this memory, since it means a lot of them would have stalled and needed major repairs (the engines would had been flooded). I don't particularly recall the cleaning up of the roads after that, but like my sister used to say, my brains store practically irrelevant information that pops out once in a while. She was and still is astonished at the "funny" things I remembered, considering her memory is like an elephant.

OK, last thing I will talk about is the fireworks (I am nearing to the end of my pump session). Long time ago, before my neighbours' plot of land was developed (one had a tennis court, one had a big lovely garden, whose slope was just opposite our place), we used to climb up onto the stairs or the slope to watch fireworks on national day. It was before the high rise buildings in the area and then, the fireworks were much higher in the sky. We could lie on the grass slope and watch the fireworks. These days, I just watch them on TV, and it's really not the same anymore. It's kinda sad, but that slope and stairs have since gave way to tall towering concrete walls, which clearly show "get out of my property" stance by the new neighbours.

OOps, if you know who Tracy Huang is, she used to be my neighbour too :P

So what is the original point of my post? Given the liberty to run its thoughts wild, my brain is a train wreck, all over the place. You just can't keep your eye on any focal point since it's just as "bad" as over the entire train wreck.

Still, I smile at the little joys I had when I had a kid, even not knowing how dangerous it was then (flood waters) or how lucky we were (lying on a grass slope to watch fireworks).

making full use of the bread machine

i have this bread machine, which i got from carrefour about 1 year back, but i finally took it out to use it.

and i have been having fun churning out breads - simple ones, just dump in ingredients and then look at it in the morning.

I've tried Hokkaido milk bread, simple white bread, banana & raisin & cinnamon bread, cinnamon and raisin sweet bread and some bread which I just "guessed" the weight of the ingredients. needless to say, some of the products are disastrous. but i at least have 3 working recipes now, and they turn out great, as long as I resist the temptation to keep using the french bread settings. I know the rapid rise setting is a gone case for me - i can't get any decent bread out of that setting even if i heat up all my ingredients before hand.

well, why make bread when i can buy it off the shelf? It's home made, no preservatives, and I get to see V enjoying it.


Friday, November 20, 2009

Happy Monthday #2

Allo my baby boy *kisses kisses* You are 5 month old today! How time flies ... mummy is missing out on so many of your milestones, but thank you for letting me witness for your few flips and enjoying your first solids with me.

I love you *hugs hugs*

Cuddles and Snuggles

It has been a terrible week - kids are sick, hub's sick and I'm sick and we are busy at work too. So it is mentally, emotionally and physically draining. The most telling sign that I have a serious lack of sleep other than my eye bags, is that my eyes are suffering from dryness, so much so I have difficulty in focusing when I read or look at things. Other than that, my milk ss is starting to dip so I am really looking forward to stoning out and sleeping in for the weekend.

On Tuesday, V for some strange reasons, complained about her mouth pain which eventually became teeth pain. She cried almost non stop since she reached home and that almost drove me up the wall. She refused dinner, water and milk, since her mouth "pain" and went to bed on a empty stomach. She woke up at 3am and happily announced "no more teeth pain already!" and wanted her 'nuk nuk'. So had to warm up her milk, feed her and entertain her a bit before I conk out. Her coughing almost meant a near sleepless night for me. Needless to say, I didn't have a chance to spend with #2 at all.

Wednesday, it was a total blur. I think I spent less than 5 mins with #2 but mostly with V since she was crying. She went to bed sulking and angry with me because I took away my HP from her. I woke up in the middle of the night to realise her diaper leaked so woke up the hub, changed her and put some towels to soak up and to cover the damp parts. Yes, we went back to sleep, on top of the towels.

Thursday, V decidedly was in a much better mood. I managed to spend about 10 to 15 mins with both kids together, and #2 was so happy that he was giggling away. Initially, he looked at me me forlornly, nary a smile. He watched me have my dinner and was in a slightly better mood after that. He loved to be bounced (but not too much for him since it's bedtime!) and he seemed to be having fun just having his sister and mummy around him. I felt so guilty when I was cuddling him, what kind of parent am I - he's sick yet I don't have time to spend with him. I'm thankful he enjoyed the attention from me, even if it is limited and has to be shared with his sister. I'm thankful also he's such a smiley baby, and it gives another meaning to "you light up my life". V was a cheerful baby too, but she was a REAL petty/ fierce one - I remember how angry she was with me with I first went back to work, but #2 was good - he didn't throw a tantrum at me! Come to think about it, the common temperaments that they do share as babies - smiley, fierce and relatively impatient.

Friday - well, one hour into Friday now, I'm just thinking that I have done something really good/ right to have these 2 wonderful kids. I'm also learning to count my blessings again, and not to dwell too much on negative stuff.

Oh, and V did a "dance" for me to Wonder Girls' "Nobody". Nope, no video, since my hp was used to play the song. That kinda made up for the crying bit for the past 2 days ...

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Drawing blood ...

for the first time in my bf-ing/ bm expressing, i bled.

i had this plugged duct for weeks and i was trying to suction out the blockage with a syringe (no needles) and then suddenly, i am looking at a red-fluid filled syringe.

needless to say, i freaked out. i do have a slight phobia of blood. thankfully as i cleaned up, no more bleeding and i continued pumping - no pink milk for my kiddos ;P

Monday, November 16, 2009

10 little kisses ...

V was in a generous mood today ...

First she woke up this morning in a very good mood, allowing the hubby to cuddle her (most of the times she would push him away). Then she wanted him for company, following him around and wanting him to carry (stark contrast to weekdays).

Then this evening, she had a super long nap, and translated to a near midnight ruckus before she finally fell asleep. In fact, I fell asleep even before she did.

Before she slept tonight, she was in a mood to play. The hubby wasn't really in the mood, so the usual "cow, horse, bunny and puppy" became 1) a cow too sick to moo and to be milked 2) a sick horse that cannot be rode 3) a poor bunny that could lie on the side only and 4) a puppy that wasn't willing to be tickled. Needless to say, it wasn't fun for V at all, and she immediately complained. The hubby hit on the idea of entertaining her with something they both like - sudoku on his HP and she gets to press on his touch screen. She only enjoyed it for a little while :P

Then ... the hubby accidentally scratched my finger, so V stroked my finger and kissed it. Then it became "poor mummy's/ daddy's face hurts, can sayang?" She gently stroked the face and the planted 10 kisses on our faces each! wow!!!! It's been a long time since she was so generous with kisses!

She knows it's Sunday so it's work day tomorrow. She didn't want to sleep and keep wanting to go out of the bedroom ... in fact, she even teared ... in the end, I had to hug her and cuddle her, telling her that her daddy will bring her out tomorrow (the hubby went out of the bedroom to do his stuff) and after much rolling, whining and hugging, she finally fell asleep. *phew* I guess because the hubby didn't really enact his usual animals, the routine that I had painstakingly built over for the past few days have been broken.

Don't complain to me again if she doesn't want to play with you next time, OK? Remember, you reap what you sow.

Friday, November 13, 2009

"tio, bor?"

Direct translation = "correct, no?"

At least, that's what my limited grasp of Hokkien understands it to be.

I've been trying to teach V some Mandarin and Cantonese and she understands some of it, since the oldies in my family side will talk to her with that. The hubby is from the Khek dialect group, but he cannot speak the dialect at all, so there isn't anything he could teach her that I couldn't, or so I thought.

Then this morning, he was getting her to sit in her car seat and they had some exchange of conversation, and then suddenly I heard "tio, bor?" I looked up and asked, "did you just say '"tio, bor?"' to her???" The hubby looked surprised and then he processed the fact that he just spoke Hokkien to her. I can't speak Hokkien at all, so we never converse in Hokkien at all. I guess the brotherhood at the recent IPT sessions have awoken the sleeping "Hokkien peng" in the hubby ;P

The helpers also recently told me V seems to understand some Tagalog too, without them teaching her.

Hmm, maybe if only I could get her to learn some French and Japanese too ...


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A happy wheezer and some ...

#2 is sick again ... he started coughing on Friday and by Saturday, he was wheezing slightly, so I started him on the nebulizer. Then, on the way to work yesterday, he was wheezing quite badly and he seems to be panting. I had originally planned to bring him to the PD in the afternoon but I got alarmed and immediately decided to bring him to see the PD right then.

Wanted to save some time and see another PD within the same clinic, but my lucky stars were shining on me. The regular PD came in early so I switched Q and got to see him fairly quickly (within 45 mins). #2 was so cute ... he was lying on the examination table, wheezing away but smiling away happily at the PD. The PD said "You have a happy wheezer!" I was baffled but he proceeded to explain that it's a term used for people who seem healthy and strong (big sized was mentioned I think) with sensitive airways. I didn't check which growth percentile my boy is in, but I'm very sure it's at 75th or so. Ah well, just as well I have my nebulizer machine :P We will have to go back for a review tomorrow (or rather today) and we will see how it goes. He seems to be wheezing just as badly, but my helper tells me otherwise. He's spitting out a lot of phelgm but I can hear him wheezing away *sigh* He hasn't given me a happy smile today yet =(

And some ... the darnest things kids can do :P

I was asking my helper for my christmas wrappers (yes I start very early :P) when #1 gestured for us to stop and said "wait!". She ran into our bedroom and came out with something. She thrust her hands outwards and said "your wrappers!" We looked at her hands and burst out laughing - she was holding on to my disposable breast pads!!!!! well, technically she isn't wrong, is she? :P

Some things to make me worry about V turning into a teen ... the principal of the CC that V goes to told me that one of her classmates woke up from his nap and started looking for V. He cried "where is my V!" The principal couldn't believe her ears and asked him to repeat. He said "where is my V?" "Your V?" "Yes, my V!" Well, in anycase, this was the boy whose name my girl was repeating to herself sometime ago. Since her CC is church based, I had assumed that she was repeating some of the words she learnt in school. Now I know better, it's her classmate's name!!! And her favourite partner in crime saved one of his bread for her the other morning (she was late) ... *hmmm* Did I mention how the older boys like to play with her too?

and homefront, helper is sick, hubby is coughing, V is starting to cough and I can feel like phelgm built-up in my throat *sigh*

Sunday, November 08, 2009

yet another weekend fly by ...

Time really flies, especially if it's the weekend.


And my 90 min massage and 2 hour nap on Saturday made it fly especially faster ... to feel guilty when I am catching up on much needed rest is not a good thing ;P


I try to make additional effort to play with Ian during the weekends and leave V to the hubby. I think V has enough attention from me during the weekdays since she sleeps with us, but apparently not. I figured this out when she was insistent on having me to drive. I think she's jealous that I sit with Ian during the car trips. Still, she is doing well with Ian around, and I'm proud how the 2 kids take to each other (for now at least!).


Did I mention my new PC runs on Vista and how much I hate it? Makes it even harder to blog.


Anyway, I'll leave you an old picture of Ian .. one that is a good representation of his smile!


Monday, November 02, 2009

4 months and more ...

In case you are wondering about Ian, he's doing fine.

He's very, very cute now and he can laugh out loud! He loves to stick out his tongue too, and it makes him doubly cute. He may be starting to teeth soon too. When I stroke his face, his mouth will follow my fingers and try to chomp on it. He still doesn't have much hair, but it's OK. It will probably be like V's, slow to grow but when it gets down to it, he will have lots of hair!

He's already 4 months plus and I've started him on solids. He has tried rice cereal and sweet potatoes. He will be starting on banana soon. How do I know he is ready for solids? You should see the way his eyes follow the spoon when we eat ... he gives that "I am hungry, feed me!" look when he watches us having our meals. The other day, I brought out his bowl of cereal to him. His face immediately lighted up, gave me a BIG smile and stuck out his tongue happily. When I was feeding him, he fought with me for the spoon! He grabbed it so tightly that I couldn't pull it away, and eventually I had to peel his fingers off it! I'll post the pictures when I get down to downloading it from my handphone and camera.

Today he took a really lovely picture with his sister, just too bad my handphone camera suck big time, and the picture quality is soso. I'll try to fix it up before posting here.

Yes, it is possible to love kids equally, but differently =)


There is not better time than now ...

What prompted this thought?

2 remarks that my mummy friend's hubby and another mummy friend made ...

this hubby of my mummy friend - it's the first time we actually had a chat ... I was having a late breakfast with another daddy friend, when I spotted him and invited him to join us. Our girls were in the same dancing class, so the respective spouses were accompanying them for the class, while the other halves were somewhere having a break and time to themselves.

Anyway, this hubby of my mummy friend, let's call him A. We were talking about our kids, about the physical traits that they inherited from us, when he mentioned about kids who were bad and then turned good and vice versa. I thought about how I felt about teenagers before, and I still shudder at the thought of my kids turning into pre-teens. But maybe he is right, kids who are bad, can still turn out alright later.

Another mummy friend shared that she overheard this conversation - one girl asked her friends to keep quiet because she was talking to her f*bleep*ing mother. Will my girl think of me in the same way 10 years down the road?

Tonight, I snuggled up to my girl and told her I love her. I also asked if I could hug her to sleep. She as usual, shook her head. I kinda whined to her, "but you hadn't let me hug you to sleep for a long time." She thought about it for a little while then nodded her head, and opened her arms to hug me. I got to cuddle her a little then she turned away to sleep. She did snuggled to me a few times later, it seems like she was making an effort.

No matter what my girl may think of me, no matter how she may turn out, she is still my girl. I love her, and there is no better time than now to tell her that and to hold her in my arms.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

so what's happening?

I haven't been updating this blog for some time ...

I've returned to work 4 weeks ago so it has been a busy time trying to adjust back to working life, work environment and seeing less of my 2 babies.

V is coping well with it so far. She has enough friends and attention from her teachers in childcare so she's OK if she sees a little less of me. At least she didn't throw a tantrum like she did when I first returned to work when she was 3 months old. *phew* just yesterday, I was on medical leave (thanks to the flu virus - yes it's making yet another round!) and so she came home while I was resting. My bedroom door was opened so I could hear what's going on outside in the living area. I heard her saying, distinctively, "Allo A gor gor, where are you?" I burst out laughing from my room and I asked her "where is A gor gor?" She just gave an embarassed laugh and a cheeky grin.

I don't have a picture of A but he's this boy in her CC class - about 1.5 months older than her. The cute thing is, he's also tanned like her with curly locks. More than once, I have mistaken him for her at the first glance. These 2 kids are also v close, that usually play together, and they nap together with the older kids (she is attached to her cousin and him, to the teacher) while their peers sleep in a room downstairs.

V also tells me she has friends in school, and name some names. Her speech as improved tremedously, but it's no where near to her classmate YJ's skills. That girl can converse in PROPER whole sentences!

As for Ian, he's a really delightful baby. He is really very cheery and responds with a beautiful smile. I can safely say, I have developed feelings for him! Is it possible to love my children equally? I am not sure, but I do love them in their own special ways. I try to spend more time with him, since my time is mostly spent with V and the breast pump - but i don't often succeed. Weekends are my only time to catch up with sleep, so if he's awake I'll play with him a little. If he's sleeping, I'll usually miss his playtime since I nap for 2 to 3 hours!

I feel guilty, that I didn't latch on as much and now, he doesn't want to latch on anymore. I also wonder if the pump is taking time away from him, when I could have spent the time nursing him, instead of worrying about engorgement and not enough supply. I have to keep reminding myself, to spend more time with Ian. This stage will pass really quickly and I will never want to miss it. If only I could strike TOTO first prize *haiz*

My little charmer ...


who probably make all the aunty fans swoon with his smile ... another korean star in the making? *hee*


Sunday, September 06, 2009

And it comes round again ...

Yes that flu bug is making another round in this family ...

First, V came down with a cough and cold, then it hit the Hubby. He didn't see the doctor until a few days later (he tried to see the doctor on the second day but the queue was too long - I did offer to bring him to a night clinic but he doesn't seem to remember it. Problem with asking him to see doctor or to do some things can be quite difficult - I don't want to be seen pushy or naggy and sometimes it erupts into tiffs, but how do I emphasize on the health of the kids and the family without grating on his nerves?). Now poor #2 is down with a really bad case of the virus and you can hear his wheeze/ chesty cough. He went to see the PD on Wed (developed a wheeze and cough on Tuesday) and now he's back on the nebulizer after I brought him to see another PD on Sat as it seems to have gotten progressively worse. I just hope V doesn't catch another round from #2. Hubby still has not recovered and I'll probably drag him to see another doctor if he's still coughing badly tomorrow. Sometimes I guess I just have to bite the bullet.

I'm almost pumping exclusively now - 99.99%. This morning though, I tried to bf him, and after a few yelps of pain (he bit me!) he was doing well on the breasts. I have to remember to make more time for him though ... V takes up so much of my time, I seldom have time to even hold or cuddle him. I need to practise more too (I really do think I am hopeless at BFing) since we have plans for a year end trip and it would be so much easier to latch him on than to use the bottles (not bringing the helpers or 1/2 the house). I am crossing my fingers and toes that it will go well. It's my first trip overseas (Sentosa dunch count) since I had V with the kids.