First Month Celebrations Cakes

The first month celebrations was well ... I survived with my breast inflamation. Other than that, the only thing worth mentioning really was the cakes we got.

The ones we got for the family members were ordered from http://www.sweetestmoments.com.sg/. The pricing was reasonable, the packaging was "Oh so cute!" and the stuff in it, YUMMILICIOUS! I know because we devoured the items from one of the boxes (and I kept the box as a keepsake!)

For our friends who came for the celebrations, we gave them cupcakes that we ordered from http://www.cupcake-momma.net/. I had a hard time choosing the designs! They were so pretty, petite, and delicious! *slurp*

So if you are planning for your baby's first month celebrations, do consider ordering from above. This is not some paid advert, but rather comments from a very satisfied customer!

Tiny Weeny Hand

Babies' tiny hands never fail to amaze me ... so little, fragile and delicate and yet it has the strength of an adult when it comes to holding your finger.

So I've taken this to showcase one of the most fascinating aspects of my girl!

New pictures of Vanessa

Just got around to download the files from my camera and did some editing with Photoshop and Picasa =)

Here's my little princess (and also co-starring her pacifier!) ...

The Countdown Starts ...

Countdown to the day I start work has begun. Although I haven't quite decided to start work on June 5 or June 12, but it marks the pending end of my maternity leave anyway.

I know some mummies are eager to go back to work, but I'm not. She has grown quite a bit since birth and she's making all these funny faces and noises now. This morning, she was very smiley too. Besides, her cranky mood starts only at 6pm onwards and it will last till 10pm or so, if we are unable to pacify her in time.

What would I miss? Her smell, her smile, her funny "sign languages" and her angry "HMPH" when she gets awaken from her sleep for whatever reason (her own sneezing or Phoebe's sneezing), or even when the Hubby calls her a naughty girl. She latched on earlier and fell asleep in my laps, and continued sleeping even though I was using the noiser pump to express. I think this is something I would really miss most for mornings.

Anyway, I've started preparing for the D-Day, and I've bagged my 3 bag of BM in the freezer. It's a slow and painsaking process, since I cannot produce enough in a day to bag the excess, and I would have to have enough in the fridge (at least 5 bottles) for her daily feeds, before I take a gamble and store the milk from my pump sessions.

Ok, time to smell her again... I'm missing her scent already.

Drama Mama week

It has been another crazy week - 3 of my loved ones got into some health/ physical problems over the week, and I celebrated my birthday with a sweet, sweet cuddle from my baby.

My sister dozed off at the wheel while driving into her office car park. She drove into a tree, but luckily she wasn't hurt badly. She just had a very nasty shock and was still very angry at herself. It's probably due to the lack of sleep, but still, I worry for her. How long more can she last since she is only having a few hours of sleep each day?

Then her baby had difficulty in breathing a night later. Emily probably choked on her phlegm or reflux and they had to call for an ambulance. Emily only managed to break into a cry after the paramedics arrived, but still she had to be warded for observations. More things to worry for her family, I just hope Emily is doing better.

My ma-jie, blacked out at home the day after, and luckily, BEFORE the other family members went out. So they spend the day shuttling her to the doctors and X-ray, and I hope they were not grumbling about having to miss their shopping trip for that day.

Then for my birthday, the hubby made up for the boo boo on Mother's Day. He sent me flowers (a very nice touch) and left me a card on my keyboard. The card was very sweet, it's signed from Vanessa (using his left hand to write) and it's definitely a keeper. It will go into my girl's keepsake box. The hubby also brought me out for dinner, one of my favourite cuisine, Turkish food! Although not my favourite restaurant, but the food was quite good and they had different dishes from the usual haunt. Then we had yummy ice cream at Haagen Daaz *yum* and we promptly came home since I had to pump.

Then while I was finishing up my pump session, the girl was very irritable and was crying in short spurts. So I gave her my breast as a pacifier (she spit out her NUK pacificer earlier) and she latched on for a short while. Then she realised she wasn't hungry and detached herself while staring at me with her big eyes. So I gently rocked her on my laps and got the hubby to switch off the living room lights. She continued to stare at me for the next 10 minutes then promptly *ZzZZzz* 5 minutes later her arm was limp and I put her to bed and she continued to sleep for the next 2 hours. It's an accomplishment for me, and I think it was a really sweet present from her, re-affirming my abilities as a mother.

It has been a week of bad and good news, and I hope the weeks to come will only be of good news.

Baby at 6 weeks old ...

Vanessa went for her 6-in-1 jab on Wednesday and she was quite good - she didn't really cry much except to show her unhappiness at the cold alcohol swab. She also basically did some tricks to make the PD laugh, for example, faking a loud sneeze. She sneezed once, then went "AHHHHHHHHHHHH ... *mm* *zzz*".

We were also commenting on having 2 twirls on her head, which my PD said 2 out of his 4 kids (*gasp*) had them, and yes, they were the naughtier than the remaining 2.

She has gained 6.5cm in length since birth, but she looks she has gained a lot more length than she looks though =) Anyway she's gained some weight and length, she's now 5.06kg and 54.5cm long.

The poor girl developed a fever (38.0C) in the wee hours of Thursday morning, so we gave her 1ml of the medicine which she promptly spat out 1/2ml *sigh* Anyway, she did recovered pretty fast, although her appetite is affected. She's taking only 60ml per feed, not the usual 80ml. I will need to monitor her further to make sure she's OK.

Cutesy baby ...

It's one of those mother things, but bear with me, I did have a horrible time last week.

1) I've started playing classical music, the relaxing sort, to calm her down or to lull her to sleep. So far so good, it doesn't always work but it does work 70% of the time. The cutesy baby thing happened when I played the CD for the first time (Bedroom Adagios) - she was lying on her bouncer chair and when the music started playing, she did her mad conductor impression. Actually she was quite good! She was in sync with the music and waved them appropriately. Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching her doing that - it really made my day!

2) The other day I was carrying her, she was waving her arms around and she accidentally hit herself on the nose and her eye. She peered at me with one open eye while the other eye remained closed. I asked "Wah, you hit yourself for what? Pain or not?" In response, she raised her hand towards me, with her thumb and first index finger pressed together, the sign we used to indicate "a little bit". I couldn't help but laughed out loud.

3) We were discussing how to cook the fish for dinner and this girl, poked her index finger into her cheek! The maid and I had a good laugh about it.

4) I went to spend my Swarovski vouchers and I was pondering which piece to get - too many that I want to add to my collection! And this girl, did her best James Bond impression.

It's almost like she's making up for what she did to me during that horrible week *smile*

What a week ... final instalment

Saturday night - had a major lump in my right breast. Tried pumping and it didn't come out so I left it be. 3am another pumping session, so I tried using hot towel compress/ massage and still it couldn't come out. I broke down and after the following brief tantrum at the hubby, he went to get fresh supply of hot water and he helped me to do the breast massage. It was difficult for myself to do it because of the angle - the lump was located at the bottom on my right breast (exact mirror image of the left breast lump - so imagine my panicky thoughts that it might start another episode of infection). The thing is - IT WORKED!!!! So my hubby sat there and watched me pump it out - in case I have another meltdown again, and it was ok.

Sunday - had lumps on my upper left breast, but nothing a REALLY hot towel compress couldn't take care of. Actually at this stage, I'm already so immune to it. The problem was, baby was cranky, she rejected my breasts twice, didn't want me to carry and was wailing her lungs out - hubby carried and she promptly fell asleep. Later, the same thing, but I passed to the maid instead. I was so depressed, so extremely DEPRESSED. Of course, I had another meltdown and I started crying again *sigh*

Monday - didn't really carry baby much today - was pumping milk, cooking meals, clearing up the bedrooms and running errands. Then during dinner time, she wanted a feed but I only had 60ml in the bottle. So I BF instead and she took to it without much fuss. She fell asleep so I handed over to the hubby who had finished his dinner. She again of course did the merlion act, but the thing that had me laughing out loud was when I was trying to finish my dinner, my hubby came over to show me that the baby was still hungry. To illustrate, he used his knuckle to tease her mouth and she sucked at it HARD - just imagine like a very loud kiss. So I BF again, but this time on the other breast and she fell asleep after 10 minutes. She was so soundly asleep that I didn't dare to move her and I let her sleep on my lap for about 1 hour before I had to go to pee.

It had been a horrible week, but the ending was sweet. Somehow, it just makes it all worth while.

what a week ... and saturday continues ...

Saturday evening - discovered the second valve for my Ameda pump is also cracked. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Went to take down the backup, my Avent Isis Uno which I thankfully did not sell away. Just hope it works! *shake head*

What a week ... (cont'd)

Friday night - we discovered to our horror, when trying to print our girl's chinese name, her actual characters mean "a reflection of (a chemical compound)". I just want to scream my head off. I was so FREAKING PISSED!!!!!! The stupid &*$^%)@(&%@(*&#^ centre!

What's wrong with the given name?
1) the character 映 is pronounced is ying4, not ying3. They wrote it down as ying3. We discovered it because we were searching for it and nothing came as as ying3. So we inserted the character and it popped up as ying4. The dictionary does not list this character as having 2 variations, so it cannot be pronounced as ying3 or ying4. It has to be ying4.

2) The character 蒽 does not = to 恩. It is in fact a name of a chemical compound! And I distinctively remembered the lady at the centre saying, "see got 恩 in the name, as requested". I certainly didn't asked for my girl to be named as a reflection of any chemical compound!

Went to bed, really super super duper duper low morale - what kind of name have I given my daughter! And what's more, with our lousy chinese knowledge, how are we going to replace the name with the same sound but better meaning? The 恩 can remain, but the ying how? The only ying3 we can find is 影 which means shadow, not very particularly meaningful here either. *sigh*

Saturday - got up early to pump milk at 5, by the time I ended it, it was 7 plus. Why? Apparently one of the valve for the pump broke, and so it couldn't work. I was so frustrated I couldn't have any letdown and so the milk flow was VERY VERY VERY slow. Amount was decent though, slightly over 100ml. Went to look after the baby after that so the maid could do her other chores as well. After a while, I got the hubby to get up so I could take a rest. In the end, I made a call to my sister in USA to tell her about my week, and asking how she's coping since she'll be returning to work this coming week. I also complained to her about the name, and she went to fetch her chinese dictionary and so we were discussing about the names and options. My sister found the perfect ying3 for us, among the few choices we had, and so we picked that. I'm not going to count the number of strokes or ask any shifu to look at the name. I had enough of such crap. Her new name stays, and that's it. The parking situation at the ICA is a different matter - but eventually I got my parking lot, although I sweared a little at this "tai tai". So what if she's driving a BMW, her car is SO DIRTY. *hmph* Anyway, the other good news for the day is that the sore spot is less painful and not so swollen anymore. Thank God for small mercies. Note to self: Trust in God.

What a week ...

It's been nothing but stress, stress, stress and more stress.

Monday - the full month cakes arrived and I delivered some out. So basically travelled from the west to Serangoon then to Yio Chu Kang with a lunch break at Thomson Plaza, then to tiong bahru, back to the west and home sweet home. I was feeling a bit woozy and decided to rest. Then I figured it doesn't feel too right, and I also had a achy spot on my left breast. Turned out I had a mild fever which we attributed to the long journey today (I drove) and I went to bed late because I simply couldn't sleep.

Tuesday - the achy spot got bigger and more painful. I got a bit alarmed by the lumps in my breasts on both sides and that I wasn't experiencing any letdown at all. Pumping wasn't helping so I let baby latched on 3 times but the lumps didn't go away. Nothing much I could do anyway since we were doing Vanessa's full month celebrations that night. We still had to prepare the place and entertain some visitors who had to come early since they weren't able to make it later. The celebrations itself? It's another story to drive my BP up, but nevermind, it's OVER already. Thank goodness. After the celebrations, pumped milk, went to bed.

Wednesday - fever shot up to 39.5. Took panadol and didn't work. Tried called LCs for help, one said, "Please make an appointment for tomorrow morning, we are closing soon." The other, no response at all. In the end, we went to a GP who gave me antibotics. He said it's Mastitis and I'm like so super duper low morale. I also rang up Rose who came over to my place in the middle of the night and to help me to massage out the lumps in both breasts. She said the more stress I am, the less likely I am going to get rid of the lumps. So to rest more, drink more water and don't worry too much ... but how not too ... when ...

Thursday - my confinement nanny is leaving this morning, she left at 930am. I cried because I felt so helpless and clueless. Anyway I am still not helping much around the house, as I am still recuperating from the fever. Good news though, it's down to mid to low 37. The maid seems to be doing fine with the baby. Baby seems to be doing fine with the formula milk.

Friday (today) - second day with out the confinement nanny. I'm feeling better, so I could breastfeed baby, just that my left nipple is getting SORE. Right breast is doing ok. I just hope my left breast gets better soon - it's still quite red, sore and SWOLLEN.

I'm just tired - baby won't let me pat her to sleep though, so now it's my hubby and the maid who's doing the burping and the patting to sleep.

APGAR score

Vanessa scored 9 out of 10 in the APGAR test - actually we have no idea what the APGAR is all about.

Anyway today I was flipping through the book, ' What to Expect - the first year' and I saw the APGAR score table. So I showed to the hubby since I remember he asking about APGAR.

He asked what did baby score and I replied '9'.

His next question? "So which part did baby not get full marks for?"

I think I'll volunteer to deal with Vanessa's schoolwork when she gets older.

Journey of the Twin Peaks

It's been almost 4 weeks since I gave birth to Vanessa, and almost 4 weeks of breastfeeding and pumping.

Now that my supply is somewhat established, and I don't face a major problem having her latching on to my breasts, I feel that I have achieved a major milestone.

I don't look back at the first 2 weeks very fondly - since they were marked mostly with pain, sore nipples and having to deal with not just emotional and physical stress, but also battling with the need to balance for personal time and having to please family members.

I'm glad that my baby were of the "normal" weight/ size, hence I had that 3 day headstart for breastfeeding. I'm also glad that while she's not a very strong sucker, she latches on well enough for me to feel confident about breastfeeding her.

I do remember very vividly, the first few days in the hospital, when I tried TBF (total breastfeeding) - how much the hubby helped me, how Vanessa didn't stress me by not wailing her lungs out (in fact we were wondering if she's hungry since everytime she's wheeled into the room, she was happily sleeping!), and by the stroke of luck, we decided to stay one extra day since her jaundice level was still a bit high, and hence I had help on hand when I suffered the breasts engorgement.

Then the problem of having sufficient milk supply to feed the baby presented itself. I had already started pumping in the hospital after I bf, and the amounts were mearge. I could try pumping for 30 minutes, and all I could extract were a mere 5ml. At times when I could express 10ml to 20ml, the sense of accomplishment were immediately shot down since that particular nurse said "So little only, where got enough, she need at least 30ml!". So much for their PRO BF stand.

When I got home, again I was given the pressure to feed baby formula milk, since my amount were minute still. I have to express 3 times after bf to get a 40ml feed, and I was so tired from bf, pumping and then bf again. In the end, we did get a tin of formula milk, but I take pride in that we only gave her 1 feed of formula milk and the rest from my milk supply for her daily needs.

I guess it helped that I am so stubborn. The more they insist that baby doesn't have enough and that I can't produce enough milk, the MORE I want to prove them wrong. Of course, it also lead to other pains, like engorgement due to the prolonged pumping, blocked ducts since I was bent on producing enough milk by pumping and not latching on enough, but I would say, I think I'm working my way around the obstacles pretty ok. Not excellent, but I would give myself a pass grade. I may need to sacrifice my beauty sleep and some, but I have achieved sufficient milk supply for my girl currently.

I do not know if I will have enough in a month's time, or even tomorrow - but if I don't have enough, it's ok. There's always formula milk as a backup, and I can always to attain enough milk supply another day, somewhere down the road.

Of course there are always the overachievers, 300ml in 15 ml flat and only having given birth 2 weeks ago. There are also the underachievers, because they believed not in themselves, but others who told them they didn't have enough milk.

If you had asked me if I am going to plan for no. 2, in the first 2 weeks, I had flatly said NO. If motherhood is a natural thing, then why is it so hard to breastfeed our baby, when it is the most "natural" thing in motherhood?

If you ask me now, I may consider a no. 2 later on. Breastfeeding a child is not easy, but it can be done.

Oh, and my daily milk production is now + or - 40ml from 900ml ;P depending if I let baby latch on (I don't add those into my total) and whether I follow my pumping schedule strictly. And all done in a third of the time I used to express that 700/ 800ml of milk.

Thought of the day

I've been musing quite a fair bit, especially during pumping, since my hands are pretty occupied.

Then my mind wandered to this "recall" of a conversation with one of my gfs, who's married and not planning to have a kid yet. She was telling me about being reluctant to meet this other group of "babies crazy" mothers, since they will keep telling her how great it is to have kids and she MUST have kids NOW.

My thoughts on that? It's the same as facing relatives every CNY - "When are you getting married?" "How come you don't have a boyfriend yet?" "Oh your face has so much acne!" "When are you going to have a kid?". If you didn't like it yourself, please don't do it to others. If you have forgotten about how irritating it is, please remember that other people have OTHER priorities in life.

Since now I have my own child, how does the above apply?

A marriage is a contract between 2 persons, like it or not. For better or worse, the couple is suppose to stick through thick and thin, because of LOVE. If it doesn't work out for some reason, there's always the easy way out, which is just to walk out on the marriage.

Having a child, it is a totally different ballgame. You cannot just walk away from it. Even your body will react to having a child, like producing breast milk (for ladies that is).

If the baby cries, I cannot just walk away like in an argument with my hubby.

If the baby is hungry, I cannot say "Just wait a while, let me finish this TV programme first" or "Make yourself a milo first".

If the baby's diaper is wet or dirty, I cannot tell the baby to clean up after herself.

If the baby is tired and sleepy, I cannot just ask the baby to go to bed and tuck herself in.

If the baby is sick or feeling unwell, I cannot just remind the baby to see the doctor - I'll have to make an appointment with the PD and carry her in my arms till the PD is available to see us.

Having a child is the ultimate committment - not just physically, it's also mentally, emotionally and financially. I cannot just walk away from her and let her take care of herself.

Having a child is not for everyone - unless they are prepared for the worst roller coaster ride in the entire life.

Every cry, I'll jump, because I'm not sure what's wrong with her. I can deal if she's hungry or diaper's dirty, but not if all the above is checked and it's not the cause of her crying. Everything she throws up her milk, my heart aches, because I wonder if she's feeling unwell (although everyone says it's normal). She cannot vocalise her discomfort, although the confinement nanny says we can tell from her facial expressions and cries - it makes me wonder if I am really up to the job of being a mother.

But ...

every smile makes my heart melt,
every time she grasp my fingers I feel loved,
every time she latches on I feel comforted (despite the occasional yelps of pain),
every time I see her little fingers and toes I feel so fascinated ... and so much more ...

Only have a child because you and your partner wants to. It's not a toy, you cannot return or exchange it, and you are liable for it for life. Stop asking "When are you going to have a child?" or "Why don't you want to have a child?" End of it, it's not your own child - it's the couple's private decision. Each to their own, and in their own time.

A visit to the PD

Today brought baby down for a visit to the PD - was worried about her increasing regurgitation of milk and the occasional "phlegmy" stuff coming out with the milk.

The PD (Dr Tan) explained the difference between vomitting and regurgitation and what I need to look out for. Overall, he was very satisfied with her progress and the weight gain (apparently she gained 800g since she was discharged). About cutting the feeds to 80ml, he said it was correct, since she wasn't able to hold 100ml down.

So, I felt pretty happy and relieved, although she did do a "merlion" on me after her second bf session *sigh*

Drop by Drop ...

The bad thing about using twin pumps? I can't do much except to watch the drops of milk filling up the container.

With a single pump, I could 1) read a book/ magazine 2) play games on my handphone 3) SMS or call using my handphone 4) well whatever I can do with 1 free hand

The good thing? It's over in 15 minutes flat for both sides, especially when I'm tired and I just want to get it over and done with.

Baby latched on pretty well today for her 6pm feed, although *hmph* she was interested in playing rather than drinking. At least she didn't puke all over me today, and she was hungry within 1 hour again. Anyway, gave her a 40ml feed instead since I don't want her to puke later on. For reassurance, I got the confinement lady sitting next to me when I was breastfeeding, in case I couldn't handle her. It worked, since the confinement lady helped me to burp her in between nursing, and I wasn't so stressed.

HOWEVER, the thing that will be stressful is that the confinement lady will be gone in a week's time. Not sure if the maid and I can handle her, I'm sure I'll probably end up crying everyday. Alternatively, execute the backup plan, but we will need to see how it goes ...

Ameda Twin Pumps

They arrived this morning at 11:00am, in time for my 11:45am pump! Got it out, washed and steamed in the sterilizer, then brought into the room to do the setup and then got it to start pumping.

My verdict? It makes 1/3 the noise of the Avent isis uno electric pump, does the job in half the time and I didn't have to do too much work of massaging the breasts. It's well worth my $320 investment!

Now, just waiting for my milk production to really start revving up it's engine - oops, here I go obsessing about the volume again. Well, I just bough 25 milk storage freezer bags ;P I can't let them just lie around unused right?

Update on milk production for 23 april 2007

Ok I admit it, I'm obsessed. Even my confinement lady thinks so. She keeps trying to tell me it's ok to give formula milk but I think it's because baby is asking for a feed every 2 hours or so ;P

Anyway so far so good, seems to be on track. I pumped another 110ml after the massage so I'm happy that my production is on schedule. I'm even happier that my breasts doesn't have rocks in them.

Still waiting for my Ameda pumps though ...

To date:
6.30am - 200ml
10.30am - 110ml
1.15pm - 110ml
3.30pm - 80ml
6.00pm - breastfed, and she threw up over 20ml of milk! She realised eventually it wasn't the bottle, so she had to stop drinking on her own.
7.00pm - pumped 40ml out
10.00pm - 70ml (can feel some lumps in the right breast again *sigh*)
12 midnight - 70ml

Total for the day, including estimated 80ml for her 6pm feed, that's 760ml.

Not as great as 2 days before, where the total volume is 830ml, but it's ok. As long as I have enough to give to baby.

It's quite depressing to hear when people talking about pumping 300ml in 15 mins time - I can barely pump 100ml! But, I guess everyone has different production capabilities =(

Lesser of the 2 evils

Good news: My morning production went back to 200ml

Bad news: I'm way over pumping my breasts, that it's being overworked, leading to engorgement. It's hot, and the lumps are there and refused to move.

Solution? Pump every 2 hours, max 15 minutes each side. *sigh*

Other good news, MY AMEDA PUMPS ARE COMING TODAY! *phew* Let's hope it all works out for me.

Planning to let baby to latch on later tonight. I don't like feeding in the day cuz it's way too hot :P

Ok, going to play with baby for a little while then I'll pump. I had my breasts massaged this morning by Rose and it's so darn painful that I almost cried. But compared to the engorgement pain, this is a small price to pay. Hope my breasts doesn't get engorged anymore!

Milk production on the decline

Stress affects the production I guess ...

1) I had a blocked duct so I was in pain, I couldn't drain this big blob of milk - stress! In the end I had to play with baby (she refused to nurse since she just had her feed of 100ml then), then when I was relaxed enough, I tried again to pump. It worked! This teeny weeny stream shot out continuously for 1 minute or so, bringing relief

2) This morning, the milk production was down by half. I supposed I'm too stressed by trying to maintain a certain standard of volume - so I'm trying to take it easy. So much for the plans to freeze the excess EBM *sigh*

3) I'm still having blocked ducts problems or let down issues, so I've decided once and for all, to get the Ameda twin pumps - hopefully the imitation of baby suckling will help with the let down, and hence I would not have to deal with all the milk backed up somewhere (dammed would probably be the next best description), causing the pain.

Ok, time to take my fluids and back to bed. I'm way too far far behind my milk schedule today.

baby feeds ...

We cut her feed back to 80ml, I realised she's not taking very well to 100ml. She's reverting to 2 to 2.5 hour feeds becaused she throws up the excess.

The confinement lady and the maid concurred it was because she is not given enough formula milk. I had to control my temper and explain to the confinement lady 1) formula milk is harder to digest than breastmilk, so if she cannot even digest this, giving her 100ml of formula milk is not going to work 2) she's throwing up the excess probably because it is really too much for her?!!?!?

So we cut back 1 feed to 60ml to rest her little tummy, and we increased back to 80ml for the rest. So far she seems to be doing ok although she's reverting back to 2 hour feed. It's ok as long as she feed good (dones't feel the urge to hurl or any discomfort). It may also mean I have extra BM to freeze? I hope so!

Obligations ...

One thing I dislike about is having "well meaning" visitors that wants to comes to my place to visit. They will setup a time with my mother and then my mother will just announce.

So when I get frustrated, they say "Oh, it's not nice to turn them down since they come with well meaning, and they say they hadn't seen you in a long time". My grandaunt, ok, never mind, because she's such an old lady, so I won't mind giving in to her.

On the other hand, this other person, after the huge fuss I kicked up the last time, my mother again gave me the above reasons. I said no and I refused to entertain this "family friend". She hadn't seen me in years, so what difference does it make anyway? My mother called for back up and got someone to call me, and this time, basically I yelled down the phone. I don't mind if they want to come another time, or call first to check with me. I dislike it when they arrange it, I said no, and they try to change my mind by saying not nice. My retort? I never agreed for that person to visit in the first place. Besides, how on earth am I suppose to rest if they say come at 2pm, and often reach at 3pm, and if I had to pump milk, they won't be happy since I'm not outside to entertain them. It's a no-win situation, and I might as well just put a stop to it since they just add to my stress and BP. It's like giving an inch, and they want a foot. I have limited my family visits to just weekends and my mother's to alternate days - I cannot cope with the constant well-meaning "intrusions" since I need to start dealing with motherhood and grapple it well before my confinement lady returns home and I return to work.

Perhaps my temper is getting worse, but it doesn't help if they cannot respect my rights as a mother and my home as my place. Call me stubborn too, if you want, but I'm tired and all I want is a little peace in my own home.

Little miracles ...

One of the little miracles I count for the day is that she's still willing to latch on!

My hubby, the confinement lady and the maid were out to the market today and I watched the clock keenly. Since baby has reverted back to 80ml, her feeding times is cut to 2 hours interval.

Right on dot, my mother had to call at the time, she woke up, wailed and I had to picked her up, answer the call, and to reply I'll call back later (she will call at least 3 to 4 times unless someone picks up the phone - sometimes she doesn't get the idea that other people can be busy doing things). Baby fussed a little but started to cry louder so I tried breastfeeding and she latched on not quite immediately, but after a moment or two of hesitation. Well, it's still painful, since my areolas are still pretty sore from the contant pumping, and she chomps on quite hard.

How much did she take? I'm not sure, my guess is 30ml to 40ml, since she fell asleep promptly at the breast and didn't even given me a chance to switch sides. She started fussing about 1 hour later, but the rest were back, so the confinement lady gave her the bottle.

My 2 dogs also came home, and they are contented to lie at my feet. Rascal is a bit smarter, he waits till I've finished feeding and burping the baby, and while carrying the baby in one arm, he comes forward with his sad looking eyes - so he got his "sayanging". Phoebe the more impatient one, gave up and just slumped at my feet. They are now both sleeping under the computer table, after a restless night (they have to sleep in the kitchen now, but still on their beloved beds). Of course they are upset that they don't get to sleep on or under my bed, or even on the sofa, but we just have to make little adjustments until baby's a bigger and we are sure how the doggies will react to her. I just hope Phoebe will stop chewing on my wooden cabinets, stools, door frames and skirtings *sigh*

The Inhouse Cow

I've been breaking my personal records - of some sorts ...

Every morning, I mentally challenge myself - how much can I pump out? Well, this morning a new record was set - 240ml (I beat yesterday's record of 220ml).

Last night, I also set another new record - highest total volume of milk pumped for the day is now standing at 800ml (the previous record was 750ml).

Proud? Not really, since I'm more frantic about producing enough milk for her. I've checked her total consumption yesterday - 1000ml! Her per feed is now 100ml, and she's been wanting to drink every 2 to 4 hours. It helps slightly that we supplement with 1 formula feed per night, but that's all the help I'm willing to accept now. So pump I must, milk I have to produce ;P

Just hope that I have enough patience to hang in for the long term - I'm investing in a new pump :P Ameda twin engine, so hopefully I can pump more in LESS time ... the hourly pumps are just killing my back ...

The Birth Story of Vanessa

The long overdue birth story ;P

Monday 2nd April 2007

1. Went to see Dr Fong on Monday and he’s “not happy” with my BP and symptoms – asked me give birth asap – so convinced him I want C-section with L.A.
2. Consulted my mother on the “good days” and she says the best is the next day (Tuesday)

Tuesday 3rd April 2007

1. Went to get admitted at 3.30pm at TMC
2. After a series of "negotiations”, we managed to get the newly renovated rooms on the 6th floor maternity ward *YES!*
3. Got escorted to the room where they started prepping me for the C-section
4. Got wheeled to the operating theatre and “parked” outside the room
5. Waited for the doctors to turn up
6. Got wheeled inside the OT and got transferred to the operating table
7. The doctor to administer the epdiural is missing! But Dr Fong said he saw his car in the carpark, so he has to be somewhere.
8. Dr Chong, the missing doctor, turns up – he was held up in another case at the labour ward.
9. Got a jab before they inserted the drip needle
10. Got another jab before they did the epidural
11. Then they inserted the catheter
12. Starting to wooze – I don’t really remember much except that I snored occasionally
13. Heard a comment from Dr Fong, “WAH her stomach muscles are so strong, she do a lot of sit-ups is it?”
14. After operation commentary by my hubby – apparently the nurse and Dr Fong had problems tugging open my stomach. Dr Chong was trying to help to push the baby out as well, and he had to exert so much force until his arms were trembling
15. I heard the baby cry and then I think I snored again.
16. Baby was plonked unto my chest and she was crying non stop – I feebly patted her and tried to sayang her while trying not to drift back into slumberland.
17. After operation commentary by my hubby – baby stopped crying immediately once passed the doors of the OT
18. Everything else is blurred – I don’t remember much except the nurses doing the dressing on me and then waking up on my hospital bed

To BF or not to BF, that is the question ...

(If you are wondering, BF = BreastFeeding, not boyfriend or breakfast)

I've successfully bf-ed for my baby's 1st week, and halfway through the 2nd week, the baby's completely on the bottle while I expressed out the BM (BreastMilk).

Why? To keep my sanity I guess:
1) She'll nurse for 1 hour, then I'll pump for 30 minutes and 30 minutes later, she's hungry again.
2) The guilt that I don't seem to have enough (that's why she nurse for 1 hour) BM
3) The need for my personal time (even while pumping BM is good enough)

The arrangement so far is quite good - I'm less tired, I have time to enjoy my baby, without trying to fiddle with the breasts and nursing bra. Now, I can even plan to nurse her at 9pm feed (she's almost like clockwork - her feed is about every 3 hours) - as in let her have 70% of her usual amount and then I'll supply the rest.

I've 6 weeks more for this arrangement before I return back to work, and I have no idea what will happen then.

As long as baby's happy, I'm happy, she's healthy - I'm good. I don't have to be so anal-retentive about being the best or good or whatever mum, as long as I do the best I can, and I guess that is what matters.

One baby step at a time, even for a mother ...

Mother of all comical mistakes

Paid $21 to the GP to confirm that the flap of skin stuck together is ACTUALLY THE WOUND!

Thank goodness we never really try to seperate the skin ourselves, and thank goodness I insisted on seeing the GP.

I can't believe this ... how sotong can we get????

A need to pay a visit to the GP

*sigh* just when I thought everything's clear, I need to pay a visit to the GP.

Why? You know the dressing they use? They come with this incredible sticky glue, and because it is REALLY sticky, it's very difficult to clean off. Anyway they tried to clean off some of it at the hospital and I tried to clean off some at home - so far so good I thought.

Then, *drumroll* I had difficulty walking last night, and upon closer examination, to my horror, I had this flap of skin CLOSELY GLUED TOGETHER. So the pain comes from my skin trying to stretch but yet being bounded to each other. The hubby tried using nail polish remover to "dissolve" the glue, but unsuccessfully. So I managed to persuade him 1) I'm in PAIN/ DISCOMFORT 2) to bring me to see a doctor. Anyway, I probably have rashes already (the line feels quite lumpy) and I certainly don't want it to turn nasty.

Just hope the GP can help without causing too much pain to me :(

Breastfeeding 101

Finding a good pre-natal therapist who does body and breast massage is important. Trust me, the breast massage is VERY important, else you will suffer the same fate as me.

Since I missed out on the breast massage before giving birth, I had the good fortune to meet this lady therapist, Rose JUST 4 days before giving birth. I wanted to book for my post-natal treatment but she suggested I go down and try her pre-natal massage (apparently they do it right up to before birth! WHY I SUFFER ALL THE ACHES FOR NOTHING! If only I had known earlier *sob*). So I did, and she commented that I am bound to suffer from breast engorgement. She also said I could look for her for help if I cannot massage out the lumps (blockages) myself (she taught me the massage technique).

True enough, I had the nasty experience in TMC, so I came home, SMSed Rose, and managed to get her to come to my place for the massage. I had in all 3 sessions.

1st session was PAIN PAIN PAIN, but the lumps were partially gone by the next day, only left one big one on each side.

2nd session was PAIN PAIN PAIN, but the most of lumps were GONE by the next day, and she cleared some of the milk ducts for me.

By the 3rd session, my breasts are still sore, but my milk production shot up too. By how much? In total, since the last feed at 11pm last night, this morning, my milk production is 170ml on top of breastfeeding. Happy? You bet, and I was fretting that I wouldn't have enough milk for her! I'll pump more later after the feeds, so that I can top up the 170ml - just need another 70ml to make it for 3 feeds.

FYI also, I'm only breastfeeding from my right breast, since the left nipple is too sore to feed. Yes, I still have some left to express from the right breast after feeding. Funny thing though, the baby seems to know that I'm not feeding with the left breast so she keeps eyeing it. So I've been tricking her by first using the football hold, then the cradle (?) hold to feed and she seems quite satisfied so far, thankfully!

For a first time mother, who needed help with the feeding from the Hubby, the nurses and 6 pillows initially, I think I'm doing quite a decent job so far - although I still request help from the Hubby to burp her while changing positions or breasts sometimes. And thankfully, there is Rose to persuade the breasts to do their jobs too!

A peek at the sleepy beauty (in pink!)

A little preview to my princess ... :)

Who does the baby look like: Mummy Versus Daddy

1. Eyes: It's very obvious - she's got her daddy's eyes! Especially the hidden double eyelids!

2. Hair: It's also very obvious - she's got my hair! Dark, thick and slightly wavy.

3. Nose: Some says looks like mine, some says like her daddy's. I do agree her nostrils are like mine, but not sure about the shape though.

4. Lips: Most agreed she got my lips!

5. Ears: Probably one of the uncles/ aunts/ grandparents - we don't have her kind of earlobes!

6. Fingers/ Toes: Her daddy's - longish.

7. Legs: Her calves are like mine, not sure about the thighs though.

8. Skin tone: In between me and my hubby I believe - not as tanned as me, not as fair as her daddy.

Overall? 80% looks like me ;)

baby's umbrical cord...

It's has officially dropped off this morning!

The confinement lady says to sun it for a week, then put into an ang pow later with some talcum powder for safekeeping.

Not sure what to do with it later!

This too, shall pass ...

For the first time, since Baby Vanessa was born, I shed my first tears as a mother.

Not because I was love struck (FYI I didn't cry when she was placed on my chest immediately after the C-section), but because I was in sheer agony. Again, not from the pain after the C-section (in fact, I was so sleepy and hungry - I was quite upset that I wasn't allowed to eat or drink until the next morning 9am! Milo had never tasted so delicious before!). Then what?

Compared to all the pre-birth agony (which seems like a distant memory now), compared to having to be under the knife for the birth, this seem like the worst ever thing that could happen to a mother.

It's the breast engorgement - the pain, totally UNBELIEVABLE. The right breast had started swelling on Thursday night, followed shortly by the left breast. I thought I could deal with it, just massage a bit and it wouldn't be so bad. Came Friday afternoon, I was in such agony - both seem to be ON FIRE (hot hot hot) and so painful to touch. By Friday evening, I had to ask the nursery staff for help - I couldn't deal with it anymore.

The nurse, Grace, helped to me to the hot towel massage - it was so painful I actually cried. Basically I cried and I cried and I CRIED. That's how bad it was. The only good news was, I only had another 24 hours to go before the pain subsided (usually last 48 hours). It also helped that Vanessa was in her good sucking day (we realise she sucks well only on alternate days) so while I had to deal with the sore nipples, I was more relieved that she was helping to reduce the engorgement. This combination is, hmm, how should I put it ... Grace helped to put Vanessa to the breast, while I grabbed on to the Hubby for pain/ stress relief, and tears still rolled down my face. Later that night, another nurse had to helped me again, to do a hot towel massage before feeding Vanessa. My breasts then slept with cold cabbage leaves (how glam can motherhood be?) that night. By Saturday morning, the pain is tolerable.

My breasts are still lumpy now, but much better - the pain is manageable, and the breasts aren't at that "going to explode any moment" size anymore. I'm going to get help by asking a therapist to help do a breast massage - hopefully she can make it tomorrow!

Sore nipples? Desensitized already. Now, the next hurdle, to make sure I have enough milk to still be on total breast feeding for 9 more days.

Updating Birth Info - it's a girl!

EDD - 19-Apr-07
Actual DD - 03-Apr-07
Born at Wk - 37weeks and 5 days
Lt/Wt at birth - 48cm/3.04kg
Delivery mtd - C-sect wif Epi
Obgyn - Dr Fong Yang
Hospital - TMC
Name: Vanessa

If you strike toto or 4D, please remember to share some $$ with me ;)

Suviving the Motherhood Game

11:55pm 5th April 2007

We just carried baby Vanessa back to the nursery – I'm getting quite reluctant to part with her, since she sleeps like an angel after feeding. Did I mention she gives a cheeky satisfied smile when she gets picked up if she whines a little after her feed? She's so … cute! But enough gushing from a love struck mother of a newborn baby – motherhood is serious business.

Why? You hear about people saying that they are not ready to be a parent, I said the same thing – being emotionally and mentally prepared and capable to deal with a child.

How wrong I am – nothing ever could have prepared me for motherhood! It's has a STEEP learning cycle, expecting me to survive the balls (HUGE BIG ONES) thrown my way with a reduced (MUCH) and erratic sleep pattern.

How on earth could you be prepared for breastfeeding? All the demos and all the how-to-do-it videos can never prepare you for the fretting, the worrying, the pain, the soreness and the satisfaction. Contradictory? You bet – when the baby "chomps" on the nipple, you worry if you have enough milk, you wince from the soreness, you sigh for the little sleep you had (before they wheel her in for the next feed), then you have a inner glow of satisfaction when she lustily roots for your nipple and suck contentedly for the next hour or so. Especially she gives that cheeky satisfied smirk.

Not to mention that the first few days, worrying if I have milk and now, I worry about breast engorgement. I've never seen them so HUGE – it's painful too to touch, so now I'm dependent on baby Vanessa to help relieve some of the engorgement. I've tried pumping with my breast pump, so far I've like 5 ml of milk after 30 minutes of pumping (both breasts!). I'm proud that I've survived "Total Breast Feeding" so far – for how much longer, I have no idea but I'm getting used to the soreness/ pain.

I must say though, 80% of the credit goes to the Hubby – without him, I couldn't have done it on my own. The pain from the wound makes it relatively easier for me to feed her lying down, so he has been helping me to position her, holding her head correctly, while I desperately try to maneuver the nipple into the mouth. Fortunately too, she's quite a good rooter, so she "grabs" on pretty fast. He then helps to burp her while I gingerly flip to the other side to prepare her for the next round of feeding. Do all this on my own? Impossible! So Kudos to the Hubby!

Did I mention he has the football hold, the crossover hold, the whatever hold down pat? All I can manage is just the crossover hold!

Baby Vanessa is finally here!

I survived the scary terse moments before they insert the drip needle into my left hand as well as the part where they did the epidural for me.

It wasn't awful, but while waiting outside the operating theater without the Hubby, somehow all the emotions pent up inside me suddenly just demanded to be released. So out of the blue, while the nurse was briefing me, my tears started overflowing and while I wasn't hysterical, it was enough to alarmed the nurses. Although I'm sure they have seen lots of cases like mine, they were very nice to try to calm me down. Dr Y arrived later to find me curled up on my side, and he patted me on the shoulder and said," Nervous hah? Never mind, it will be ok, don't worry."

The rest of the scene, after being wheeled into the OT, was kinda of a blur to me - I guess the medicine that was injected to make me drowsy was enough to conk out my memory, even though the medicine was injected some 30 minutes later!

Anyway there was some OT drama, as related by the Hubby, but I'll save it for a later posting - the 2 main aims of this posting are:

1) I survived! The pain, the needles, the gore and the er, icky stuff about having a operation.
2) Baby Vanessa (yes, I got my way!) is doing fine and she's a sweet little baby (well she's mine, of course she's sweet!).

Look out for more later, but I'm not sure how I'll cope with the recovering wound (pain *ouch*) and having the baby at home. So I may not update immediately or with a really long post - I'll just do what I can.

I'll get the pics from the Hubby later and post it up.

Thank you for all the nice messages, SMS and presents!

The last report ...

Yup, that's right, the LAST report - baby's gonna come out tomorrow!

I wasn't feeling very good over the weekend - starting to have headaches and my sudden sensitivity to loud and sharp noises (even the Hubby's whistling grates on my nerves), so I thought, no harm going to see Dr Y today - anyway he did say to go and see him if I wasn't feeling very good. Besides, my BP isn't getting any lower - hovering 130/80 +++ even on medication, so hmmm, with the slight and occasional buzz behind my ears, I decided to take a risk on the 2 hours wait at his clinic just to make sure baby is still doing ok.

I reached there about 1 plus pm, did the usual stuff and since I had like 5 other patients before me (the best guess was a minimum of 1 hour wait), I decided to go shopping (how else to kill 1 hour other than to snore in the clinic, but the seats were not very comfortable for that ;P). Anyway I popped over to Tom & Stefanie and realise "oppps" I forgot to buy some stuff for the baby! So I got the following:

1) Cloth diapers plus liners (1 pack each)
2) Rubber changing mat
3) Cornstarch powder plus powder container

I think this should be sufficient although I did ponder if I should get the bolster and the pillow too! I guess I could get those later after giving birth ... so no hurry ...

So I slowly waddle back to the clinic, resisting the urge to step into Eu Ren Sen to buy more herbal stuff ;P .. boy, was it HOT today ... and the seats inside the clinic were full, so I sat outside and was yawning my head off (with lots of tears!). Finally I had a seat inside so it wasn't so bad, I had some nice cool air blowing on me!

Waited for another 30 minutes (about 3 to 4 more patients in front of me) and finally got to see Dr Y. Took out my records for BP and showed to him, and he said it's not very good - seemingly on the increase. Then I asked him about if I decided to have a C section (having second thoughts about natural birth) and he said that it was possible, but it would have to be really soon, by next week latest. Then he decided to check on baby's weight and guess what, she GAINED 600G! My goodness ... so she's weighing in now at 3.2kg and if it goes on, I would have to go for C section too anyway, because she would be too big for natural birth. He asked me to consider then, if I wanted to go ahead with the C section on wednesday, thursday or even friday. So I said I'll think about it and inform him later. He did tell me that any later, we should do a blood test to make sure that the BP is not affecting the rest of my organs. I told him I'll skip that anyway since it's only a few more days to 1 or 2 weeks.

Then I flipped through my notebook for the things I need to ask/ tell Dr Y (since I am SO forgetful these days) - Dr Y will settle the anesthesiologist, we are storing with Cordlife (the stemcells), and that I was experiencing slight headaches, and my sensitivity to loud and sharp noises. He promptly said that it wasn't good and I should do the C section tomorrow. Now it's my turn to be taken aback - tomorrow?!?!?!?!?!?!? He said YES since the symptoms are showing that my BP is affecting my other organs already - anyway I tried to bargain for a few more days and he said the earlier the better - because we never know when I'll throw a fit and put the baby in harm's way (this is despite me promising to take my medication on time!).

So I went out - called my mum and asked her to check which of the 4 days are better, Tuesday to Friday, and she came back with "Saturday". Dr Y refused and said that's too late, even if I took the whole week off and rest at home - "Too risky". *sigh* So I called my mum again, that it had to be Tuesday to Friday, and Saturday is out of the question. The final decision - Tuesday, which means tomorrow. The only final thing to confirm, 8am in the morning or in the afternoon?

This I left to the Hubby to decide, and we had a quick discussion (I already knew his answer anyway) on the way back to my office (he was so sweet to come and pick me up from the clinic). So I announced to my colleagues and I changed the sign on my door - they were surprised by the sudden announcement that I won't be in tomorrow but I guess it should be expected, since they were all betting that I would have to deliver before my planned maternity leave.

So ... I guess I'll post again after the baby pops out ... hopefully everything will go smoothly and I can endure the pain that comes with it!

I'm a very late bloomer *rofl*

I just discovered singaporemotherhood.com.sg's forum - all because I was surfing about my obgyn (saw this old pic of him, he has since put on quite a fair bit of weight *chuckle*).

I'm about to give birth and I just joined the thread on April MTB ... so how late can I get?

Although my hubby will be very thankful, since singaporemotherhood does have quite a fair bit of BP (bulk purchases) going on - it means I have less time to join the BP groups!

In that very short time that I've joined (less then 3 days), I've joined the BP groups for 1) Carter's bibs (OOO SO CUTEEEEEE - so cute that my sis even bought for her 4 yr old dotter ;P) 2) Bumbo seat - although baby's supposed to be 3 months old before sitting in it but I guess it's a good time to get it at a 20% discount NOW. The only thing I'm resisting is the baby shoes :P but it's getting harder, each thread that features such lovely pink shoes *argh*

Time to just stare at the baby books rather than at my computer screen!

Aching body ...

I went for pre-natal massage yesterday at Goldwellness and my body is aching today =(

Not the bad sort, but the feeling that all the knots and lumps are being all "dissolved". Yesterday, after the massage, I felt so much lighter already! The lady who did it for me, most probably the owner of the place, Rose, was telling me about the various "underlying" muscles that will be used during the birth and she needed to get those muscles to relax, so that they can "stretch" as required. So my butt is hurting like mad - probably put a heat pack later to soothe and to further relax the sore muscles.

I also booked my post-natal massage package - a series of 8 sessions at my place. I doubt the massages will be the soothing type, but anything to get my body back in shape quickly! I am not a rich nor celebrity mum, so 1) no slimming centres will want to sponsor me 2) I cannot afford a personal trainer to whip me back in shape (actually I doubt I would even opt for this!).

I'm seriously considering the option of having a C-section instead of having a natural birth. I'm scared - scared like a baby rabbit confronted by a hungry predator! Besides my BP is still relatively on the border line, although I've been a good girl and taking my medication regularly. Well, work related stress is another thing, but as it is, I'm already closing one eye and to remind my colleagues what to look out for (if they do encounter the same crap as I do).

Baby's Name

It's down to Ashley versus Vanessa now, with the consideration of Sara/ Sarah as well.

My colleague laughed and said that at the rate we mulling over the name, we may not even decide within 1 month of the baby's birth!

Decisions, decisions, decisions ... let me sleep on it and see if anything pops up as inspiration in my dreams tonight!

Report for 37th week

1. I gained weight! 600 grams but I guess it's to make up for all the losses I had over that past 2 week with the vomitting and diahorrea.

2. No report on baby's weight since Dr Y says baby wouldn't have gained much over 1 week.

3. Amniotic fluid? LOTS of it, so level is very high - again, he asked me to walk more to bring on the labour earlier.

4. He commented that since my BP is so high - a very scary 180/110 for the upper reading and a 175/95 for the lower reading, and my feet is so swollen, I could do a test to check on my kidney and liver. Since it involved drawing my blood (meaning pain), I declined - after all, it's just going to be a few weeks more right? As long as I am a good girl and remember to take my medicine. right? Dr Y laughed when I took out the remains of my BP medication, "Judging from the amount of medicine you have left, you must have forgotten to take your medication quite a number of times!" Which, er, *blush* is very true - I tend to missed out the slot in the afternoon ;P Anyway today the BP could be higher because I was fuming away at work for almost the entire day. Not sure why but I was quite easily agitated today.

5. As for no. 3, no, I need baby to wait till the maid is here! Which means I need to keep her happy and cushy for 2 more weeks at least!

6. Dr Y said I have to keep count of baby's movements - he seems quite surprised that we said he didn't instruct us on how to previously! Anyway, now I have to keep track of her movements every morning from 9 am. *sigh* I just hope I can remember to!

7. Did I mentioned that the 2nd maid we shortlisted is not coming? hopefully we will be THIRD TIME LUCKY ... we shortlisted the 3rd maid today and assuming MOM is not going to question why this is the 3rd application we submitted within like 1 month (and cancelling 2 others), we hopefully will really get the maid BEFORE baby decides to pop out.

I'm looking forward to 6th April! My maternity leave will start on 9th April, so hopefully I will get to enjoy some rest at home before all the diaper change and milk production starts!

Test Run No. 1

We had our first test run to TMC on Sunday - because I thought my water bag might have burst or leaked. I woke up at 5:38am on Sunday morning because I felt some trickle in between my legs - thing is, despite me being a heavy sleeper, I do wake up and visit the loo as often as my bladder needs me to. I did the smell test, amniotic fluid is supposed to have a sweetish smell as compared to urine, which well, smells like urine. What I had a whiff of was best described as carefree's scented panty liner, which I am not using. Anyway, as they all had drilled in during the pre-natal classes, I put on a big overnight pad, in case of futher trickle or the big burst ;P

This is the funny part - I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. So at 6 am in the morning, I was frantically trying to pack my hospital bag - until my hubby complained and asked me to go back to bed. Well, I did eventually, after gathering the basic stuff on the list (had to refer back to my previous posting!), and I conked off till almost 10 am! I checked the pad and it was dry, so anyway we decided to complete packing the hospital bag (ended up using my pink trolley overnight bag) and amazingly everything fitted in, including my hubby's change of clothes! Then we gave a call to Dr Y since we wasn't sure if it was really the water bag or my bladder couldn't wake me up, so he said to go down anyway for a check for just in case.

So we collected the doggies and deposited them at my mum's place enroute to TMC. So I waddle in and sheepishly told the admissions that I wasn't sure if my water bag had burst. So the lady kindly escorted me to the labour ward, and I got asked the same question 4 or 5 times, "do you have the doctor's letter?" I was quite baffled, and asked what letter they were referring to? In anycase, I don't have any and Dr Y did say that TMC will call him directly. So anyway, I had my FIRST ever cervix check and man, it was SO BLOODY PAINFUL! I'll never want to go through another and poor Dr Y is going to get lots of resistance from me! They strapped me up to the monitor (not sure what they are called) and asked me if I felt any contractions, to which I replied in negative.

Then, this midwife who was "watching" over me came back and exclaimed, "You just had a contraction! Did you feel anything?" Again, my reply in negative! She pointed out the monitor picked up that I had a contraction just then, and after a while we got the hang of the contraction thingy - it felt like the urge to go pass motion! The first few times were probably very mild contractions, hence I probably only felt discomfort, but everything was OVERSHADOWED by the after pains of the cervix check. They said it's probably reactive to the cervix check, but at least I know how a contraction is suppose to feel like! I just hope I won't mistake it for wanting to sit on the throne :P

Anyway, after 1 hour, they said I could go back and monitor the situation (I had fallen asleep in the meantime) since it's likely that water bag is still intact.

So what did we do? Went shopping - sorta, the Hubby had to pick up his phone from the repair shop and I picked up a scrapbook from SDU. On the way back, we also picked up the baby cot, and the dearest Hubby will fix it up after we clear out the nursery room tomorrow.

On a scale 1 to 10 for Operation Baby Vanessa, I would say we are around 7. Only problem is still the maid not having arrive and having to pack up both rooms - so hopefully I'll cmplete it by tomorrow.

I've submitted all the necessary forms to the HR today, and starting to complete my handover - I'll start my maternity leave by 9th April provided she doesn't decide to pop out early - just crossing my fingers really. Everyone's betting she's going to come soon, since the lightening is really really very obvious and my tummy is so low now. On a scale of 1 to 10 of how scared I am of the pending childbirth, I'll rank myself at 8 - very apprehensive, very nervous and just plain fearful of the pain =(

Nesting instinct?

Didin't really had the time to go down to the Baby's Fair at Taka today, just popped by to collect my annual gift from Swarovski and collected the 2007 prices/ product listings. Now I can plan what to use my $250 vouchers for :P

Anyway, I decided I had to get a pair of comfortable and non-slip shoes, and I bought a pair of Birkens ... and it's PINK ... of course the Hubby is complaining about buying excessive shoes as usual, but to me, as long as it's non-slip and comfortable for this last stage, it's worth it! Anyway it's adjustable, so when my swelling goes down, I can always tighten the straps.

Been thinking about packing up the house, and basically that's it. I bought groceries and cleaning products today (over $100 worth) - I guess it's time to throw out my mouldy sauces and what nots ;P in case my maid gets so horrified at what we use for cooking!

I plan to clean out the kitchen tomorrow, followed by the maid's room. Then when the maid arrives, it'll be cleaning out of the baby's room. I really hope baby will just happily continue to hiccup inside my belly till we are ready :P Oh ya, I need get around packing the hospital bag tomorrow!

Report for Week 36

1) My weight remained the same - 70.5kg

2) My little girl gained 200g to weigh in at 2.6kg now (I was worried she would gain another whopping 600g!)

3) My blood pressure, unfortunately, isn't doing as well - it shot up again. Yesterday it was averaging about 150/95. Tonight, it was dinging the alarm bells at 165/107. Since I wasn't aware of the complications of having HBP, Dr Fong did tell us that he's worried that I may have fits, and that would cut off the oxygen supply to the baby. OK, time to put a neon pink sticker to my "what to do if I'm in labour list" in office. SEND ME STRAIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL!

4) Water level in the water bag is still high, which he says is good. He did ask me to walk more to bring about an earlier labour, but I wasn't too keen, since walking up and down the stairs with my swollen feet is quite a painful affair.

5) We talked about labour pains again - since he was saying that I may need to be induced. So i happily said that would mean C-section! He asking why I wasn't keen on natural, so I replied I guessed it's the fear factor of pain. He said there's always epidural. Labour pain will be the MOST painful thing I ever experienced (OK, at least he's a lot more honest about the pain level here than the blood test), nothing compared to the monthly pains I experienced. Then again, that was probably the wrong thing to say to me, since I always feel faint from the pain! So I said, "Won't I then faint from the labour pains???" "Epidural" was his short and sweet answer.

6) We won't know if the baby will be coming early or late, but she's low, very very low.

7) Things to look out for over the next few days - persistent ringing in the ear, headache, blurring of vision, and something else ;P I cannot remember! That happens, to go down to his clinic for a visit.

8) Time to clean up my desk, move everything back into my room, and note down all the outstanding things to be done!

Hopefully my maid comes in by next weekend!

Preview of Week 34 Pregnant belly II

My girl is going to be a little piglet and since I had this cute happy piggy bank (courtesy of Suntec and my shopping), I thought it would make a great picture.

Anyway got the Hubby to take the shot I wanted, and here it is! I wish my little girl will be as happy as the piggy bank!

2 days to 36th week

Scary - I'm inching closer to the D day and I feel like I'm really inadequately prepared.

The maid issue is partially resolved - met up with the agent today and shortlisted 2 candidates. Let's see how it will work out - hopefully everything will turn out OK *cross fingers* If OK, I'll get the maid by next weekend and she can really help me to clean up the rooms!

I finally recieved my package from USA, containing some pressies for my baby from her baby cousin Emily. It got mis-sent to Osaka, hence the "long" wait. Going to wash it later then pack it into the drawer.

How am I feeling? Erm ... tired and irritated with my bowels/ stomach. I threw up my breakfast/lunch/dinner yesterday in 2 major sessions in the evening and my tummy was aching almost the entire night - all the gas and intestines churning away. This morning had a run, but thankfully that was it. Lunch I took some bee hoon and nothing came out. I took 3 kueh dadahs and 1 fishball later at 3pm (was too hungry) and thankfully it's retained. Came home and cooked instant noodles (100& Ramen) and it seems to be happily digested by my tummy. I just hope it stays that way - for now i'm just slowly pumping in water, to make up for all the water loss.

As for baby, she's busy hiccupping now - she's sluggish today, probably due to a sleepless night (all the rock music from my organs), but if she was restless, I didn't really notice since I'm quite a heavy sleeper when I'm dead beat. With irritated bowels and stomach acting like they did, I am just so exhausted - I'm just glad I didn't had to run to the loo today. I wonder how much weight I've lost and how much weight baby has gained over this last week. Not that my face looks any slimmer though =(

Countdown: 5 more weeks to go

Yup yup, to be exact I'm 35 and 1/2 weeks preggie now. So that's 4 and 1/2 weeks to go before full term *gasp* but she could come early by the 37th week, so that's really more like counting down to 2 weeks *GASP* and anymore than that is kind of bonus time to me.

Why? Obviously I'm not ready - the maid decided not to come last minute, so which means we have to do a search for a suitable maid. Hopefully we can get one to come in by end of next week. The rooms are still UNPACKED but at least I've already asked my part-time cleaning lady to help out sometime the week after to do massive packing.

My fallback plan? If the maid really can't come on time, then I'll just rely on the confinement lady, as well as my part-time cleaning lady. Just that, I won't have the maid in on time to learn some cooking and babysitting stuff from the confinement lady. I guess cooking is still OK, I can cook and teach a bit of that - just that I would prefer someone with experience or the know-how to look after the baby, since I'm a 1st time mother.

Ah well, just keep the fingers crossed then - I've come to a stage that I just want to finish up all my office work first, so that I can concentrate on the homefront. It's too distracting and tiring to be worrying on both ends.

Preview of the 34 week old pregnant belly

Yes, it's all mine. I finally got around to persuading the Hubby to take a few pictures of my tummy before "lightening" becomes too obvious (then the shape won't be as nice). Anyway, I was having so much fun playing with 1 picture using Adobe Photoshop, that I came out with the above. Truth is, these above are only a few of the variations I've cooked up. I'll probably print an A3 size picture later with some of the variations, like an pop artsy poster.

There's another picture I'm working on, but it's not as fun as the picture above. I guess I hadn't touch Adobe Photoshop for ages, and it's like discovering a new play thing when I was doing the above.

Some of my friends were "shocked" by how big I am, but truth is, I think the camera makes everything looks bigger (read "fatter"). Anyway in reality, I still have people who seem to be oblivious to my huge bump!

I'll post up the rest later.

P/S: I very free? Haha. nope, just that "Photoshopping" has always been a great way to destress for me - cuz once you're working on something, everything else gets forgotten for a little while. I manage to complete most of the work I brought home too - just a final round of touch-up before I submit the stuff tomorrow. Yes, I'm still having the runs =(

Knees aknocking

Yesterday, I went back to work, had about 8 to 9 runs to the loo. Didn't really leave my seat other than the tiolet and the pantry, since my legs were feeling a little weak - managed to complete some work, but not as much as I like.

On the way home, I popped by a clinic - I figured out my runs probably won't stop on its own and I probably needed some help. Anyway got some medication, took it, and I still had the runs!

This morning, I had 1 run, following by vomitting out all the liquid I had put in this morning - so I am guessing I am really VERY dehydrated. So, now I'm sipping a warm cup of water - hopefully it gets retained, then I'll get a drink of 100 plus to replenish on the lost salts too.

*sigh* Yesterday a colleague told me that her sister-in-law/ sister delivered early because she had tummy upset too - apparently the tummy cramps triggered off contractions. I hope it doesn't happen to me - I'm not ready, the house is not ready, the nursery is not ready, and the maid's not here yet!

I'm just feeling miserable because of the tummy pains, as well as the pee - I need the water so that the baby can use it to flush out the waste too. It's really not fun. *cry*

Welcome to the family!

Dear baby Emily,

Welcome to the big family! All your cousins are waiting to huggy and kissy you! So are all the grannies, uncles and aunties!

My new sweetiepie of a niece!

The wait ...

*note: this posting can be quite gross!*

After 1.5 days, finally my tummy aches will be gone for good, I hope! I had to rushed to the loo just now, and relief came fast! I just hope this is the last load of crap that has been processed and my system is back to normal. It's just not nice to have a big belly and tummy cramps that keeps me from sleeping well.

Some people have instant gratification, what goes in, if it's wrong, comes out almost immediately. In my case, I always have to think hard and long what I had for the past few days that could have caused the tummy trouble.

It could be anything that I ate on Friday or Saturday - the first runny stools started on Sunday, but only a little. Monday, a bit more, but occasionally tummy cramps and the lethargy kicks in big time. Tuesday, the vomitting, giddiness and the sleepiness. Today, I've been drinking lots of water because the weather is hot and the pee is not the right colour. I thought I must be losing lots of water when the amount that goes in, don't seem to equate that amount that comes out. Then ... the explanation came - the body's saving the water for the last flush :P

The funny thing is, she's a lot more passive today - not so much swishing, nor jabs or kicks. I guess my tummy and the intestines are not making as much noise for the past few days, so she can sleep!

Hopefully this sigh of relief will last, and not replaced by a "oh no!" within the next few hours!

*update* Still running to the loo =(

the sleep monster strikes again!

I've been feeling really very tired lately, and taking the new medication doesn't help since it makes me feel giddy most part of the day (I can even feel my head revolving like a merry-go-round when my eyes are closed).

For e.g., on Sunday I took a afternoon nap for 3 hours, and I'm in bed by 11pm. On Monday morning, I could barely function at work - I was yawning my head off! By the time I reach home, I went to settle myself in bed and was promptly asleep by 9pm. Well, this morning the Hubby had difficulty waking me up again, but the cheeky girl helped him a bit.

I was half awake anyway, just waiting for him to finish his shower. I guess I must have dozed off again, when I heard him calling me through the haze of sleepiness. This cheeky girl, when he called me a second time, promptly KICKED ME! I was wondering if she was responding to him calling me, or she thought he was calling her, or if she just wanted me up, so she can continue her sleep without someone making noise in the background! *tsk* (she's having hiccups again now)

It's a workday, so I dragged myself to work (or to the car). At work, I was telling my colleague I wish she could just be delivered soon because I really find it very tough going now. I guess it had to do with me not feeling well. At 11am, I promptly threw up everything I had in the morning, my water, my tea, my prata, etc. I had to miss an office lunch event (free food! buffet somemore!) and I slept in my colleague's room - Dr Y's schedule's full so I had to do a walk-in at 3pm. I left about 2pm, reached there at 2.30, went to had some porridge (YUCKS! ALL MSG! NEVER EVER EATING IN THAT PLACEN AGAIN!), went back up to the clinic and this couple hogged all the magazines available for reading. Even they didn't want it, they just left it in between them, when they could have returned to the magazine stand. Ah well, I watched the TV instead but with my vision going downhill, I had to squint to read the subtitles/ translation. I was already dozing off when they called me in at 4 plus.

I had an initial BP done, and the reading was 145/90. So after discussing with Dr Y, I was told to stop the medication and observe the BP readings I take at home. The second set of BP readings were much better, in the rangs of 120+++ / 80+++. Anyway I'm on 2 days MC, he suspects that I may be coming down with a flu (I probably look liked when I did during the first trimester!) or food poisoning (I said I had runny stools and tummy cramps). Just hope I still have enough time to complete all the work due by this week. Sleep is sufficient but not pleasant, when all I dream about is work! I just hope the giddiness stop too, because it makes me so groggy and I cannot think straight. I need that clarity when I'm doing editing and proofreading!

Updated - Things to Do

1. Complete packing the hospital bag *sigh* let just say I'm washing the stuff to pack into the designated bag
2. To clean out the maid's room and get in new furniture for her - time to go shopping at Ikea! Done partially - the furniture's in but my stuff is still hogging the space
3. To clean out the nursery room and put up the cutesy pictures I bought - HAHAHAHAH absolutely NOT done
4. To disassemble cot and reassemble cot when nursery is cleaned out - waiting to clean out the room and to transport the cot parts back
5. Buy furniture for nursery - mainly drawers and changing pad (white!) - Ikea too! Done - got the chest of drawers that the top can flip open to work as a changing top, not white though. Already packed baby's new towels in it. Now sorting out all the little socks, booties and mittens.
6. To complete birth plan - to include some other minor details that I think should not be left to my hubby in case I get conked out on the epidural Done Done Done!
7. Wash and sort out hand-me-downs baby clothes - 80% done! Soaked the whites and pastels and managed to get most of the stains out, left the other 20% coloured clothings to wash, will try to do so by this weekend - left 1 small pack of baby hats
8. Clean out closet and donate old clothes to Salvation Army - must remember to be "cruel" to my clothes and if the hubby's still not doing it, to clean out his clothes anyway - Er ... let just say I've difficulty in packing even my own things =(
9. Clean out expired stuff in fridge and around the house - should I wait for the maid to do this? ;P I think I'll wait for the maid :P
10. Scan baby's pictures - before the hubby says,"But you kept them right?" Now he says he has no scanner *grrr*
11. Just let me SLEEP ...

It's not HBP!

According to the hubby anyway, he proudly corrected me and said it's "Elevated Blood Pressure". OK, so if the ex-medic says so ;P

Went late to the TCM today and I couldn't get a number to see her (she sees only 100 a day) but they were kind enough to ask me why I needed to see the physician. So I explained that Dr Y had said I had high blood pressure and my swelling due to water retention, in particular my left hand, won't go away. So they asked if I had been eating any particular salty stuff recently (everyone asks that question!) and I said no. It's true because I don't really particular like food on either extreme ends these days, and I don't slurp down the soup even if I take soupy stuff (all MSG!).

So anyway they said she will see me but I'll have to wait till someone misses their turn (as in someone took a number and didn't turn up). Waited for 3 hours and managed to see her. According to the physician, because of my PCOS and my genetic inheritance (tendency towards diabetes and high blood pressure, etc), even if I don't eat the "correct group" of food to trigger the HBP, I would already have the latent tendency to develop the "problems".

Ah well, at least I know baby is healthy and growing well, that's a very good consolation. I've only 4 more weeks to endure the stiff joints and swollen digits/ limbs, but I'm counting down. The good thing is that in this condition, they won't let the baby overstay past its welcome (the full term 40 weeks).

High blood pressure and restless limbs

The strange thing was, I remember reading this high blood pressure thingy from She Said/ He Said blog, and it was covered in the most recent copy of Motherhood. So I went to dig out my copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting and did some reading up.

The condition is called Preeclampsia. The following extract is taken from http://www.preeclampsia.org/

Preeclampsia is a disorder that occurs only during pregnancy and the postpartum period and affects both the mother and the unborn baby. Affecting at least 5-8% of all pregnancies, it is a rapidly progressive condition characterized by high blood pressure and the presence of protein in the urine. Swelling, sudden weight gain, headaches and changes in vision are important symptoms; however, some women with rapidly advancing disease report few symptoms.

Well, I know I do have the prolonged swelling of hands and feet (literally legs), that won't go away even if I've slept the night with my feet propped on pillows. The sudden increase of blood pressure (since my visit to Dr Y 3 weeks ago) also makes me wonder I have this condition. I'm not sure about the protein level in my urine, but I have this other condition, aka, restlessness of the limbs. Basically my legs just want to kick, and my arms just wants to twitch. Massage only partially helps to relieve the syndrome but sleep or rest seems to be the best way of getting rid of it.

I'm quite worried since the swelling of my fingers won't go away today - usually by mid-morning the swelling would have gone down quite a bit and I could clench into a fist - my right hand is OK, my left is not! I did borrow a blood pressure monitor and been taking my readings for today, but it did seem to indicate a "normal" blood pressure reading - around the range of 126/77 (for the few times I took). I'm going to try again an hour later, to check if the medication has any effect and if it's responsible for my giddiness. In any case, I'm going to pay a visit to the TCM tomorrow - hopefully she has something to get rid of the water retention plus twitching!

Report Card for week 34

1. I now am 70.5kg. Not too bad, considering the last 3 weeks covered the CNY period (food, food and more food). So I gained like ... 600g since the last visit?

2. I am guessing, whatever weight I gained, goes to baby, since she gained a whooping 600g since the last visit! She now is approximately 2.4kg!

3. Dr Y seems to remember my insistence on C-section when as the first thing he asked "So, you still going for the C-section?" I said "No, the plan is try for natural, and if the need to induce or any implications, then please cut me open." All this exchange was before the diagnosis (see 4). It seems I may get my wish afterall :P

4. I'm officially now being dosed with medication for high blood pressure. My blood pressure is now 150/95, and it's the lowest of the 3 readings done. The first reading, Dr Y eyes almost popped out. He asked me to please relax and he tried a second time. Still not satisfied with the reading, he switched to taking the blood pressure off my right arm instead and we arrived at the 150/95. So I'm medication for the next 2 weeks, before I go to see him again. I should have guessed, since swolleness of the legs have reached a stage that I can't even bend my right knee without being in pain, and sleeping with the legs raised didn't helped either (the legs are just as puffy).

5. The implications? I may have to deliver by 38 weeks if my blood pressure doesn't go down - so I have 4 weeks to get my act together. Could all this stress of preparations be the cause of the increase in blood pressure????

6. I was a bit worried that the reading is a fluke - because my blood pressure is normally on the low side, so I asked how would I know if my blood pressure falls below the normal when I take the medication. So I have to looked out for rapid heart beat and giddiness after I take the medication, in addition to monitoring the symptoms for high blood pressure like sustained headaches, giddiness and prolonged water retention .

7. I did asked if there was any medication for water retention since the swollen fingers and the pain in the right knee (when I bend it) is driving me nuts (ask the Hubby how nutty). I have difficulty getting in and out of bed, not because of the belly, but rather that I need to position my knee properly. Anyway the answer from Dr Y is "Delivery". *sigh*

So how do I feel? I'm glad baby is putting on the right amount of weight and is healthy (must remember to take my supplements) but I'm not sure if the high blood pressure will harm her development in any way. So let's see what happens in 2 weeks time....

The excitment of childbirth

Not mine, but someone close to me will be giving birth soon to a baby girl too! I'll say give take 1 week max before that little princess pops out!

So I've shipped over some herbal tea bags today (hope it's on time) as well as a little shopping at Amazon.com and the goodies should be delivered in a few days time.

For the herbal tea bags, it's meant for the healing process after childbirth. If you hadn't had a child yet, I won't bother with the gory details. If you are pregnant with your first child, you will get to hear all the gory details in antenatal classes, so I'll saved my swollen fingers a little work.

Anyway this herbal teabags, which I bought from MomsinMind, are meant for "rinsing" rather than drinking.

Mothers' Soothing Herbal Soak - This is a herbal combination that can be used
after birth to help soothe and accelerate healing of the mother’s perineal area.
It can also be used to assist healing after a caesarean incision. These herbs
reduce swelling, slow bleeding, and quickly heal
tears.

You can read the rest of the details here.



As for the shopping at Amazon.com, I bought the following 2 items because I thought they are so cute! I would have bought the same for myself, except the shipping costs to Singapore = the costs of the 2 books!

Humble Bumbles' Baby Journal: A Keepsake Journal for Baby's First Three Years

by Amy Meyer Allen

and




My Life As a Baby: Record Keeper and Photo Album

by Virginia Reynolds (Author), Amy Dietrich (Illustrator)

Cool stuff really, but I guess I'll just make do with my own little baby journal. I bet this girl will cringe when I give to her as a present at the age of 21!

Preparation for the impending birth - bit by bit

Let me see, last weekend I've managed to

1. Confirmed the confinement lady - passed the details to my hubby and instructed him when to call her

2. Bought some of the chinese herbs she would need to use for the confinement (well, I rather get it done now, since my movements are already starting to be really awkward). While some of the stuff can be easily bought like sesame oil and old ginger, I bought the herbs first since the hubby will probably have problems with these:

• Dried seedless red dates
• Dried Longans (apparently there's 2 types and the darker one which is semi-wet is used for confinement)
• Wolfberries
• Tong Sum (or Dang Shen in chinese)
• Bak Kay (or Bei Qi in chinese)

I'll pack them up into my gladware boxes and dump into the fridge, probably later - I tire quite easily these days and I promptly conked out last night before 10pm.

Tonight the "attending" the online orientation course for employers (of maids) and I'll need to take a test later on *sigh* Let just hope my grey matter doesn't fail me.

Work wise, I've started some of the preparations of the stuff I need to handover - but the work that I need and want to complete is frustrating me. There's only so much I can do before I start to zonk out and stare blankly at the papers in front of me - so I'm quite glad I'm not spending time in my room, but a temporary housing in a cubicle where there's always things to distract me momentarily (my attention span is 15 minutes max before I blank out).

This weekend there's some events happening at work, but my colleagues had kindly slotted me in for the shortest slot/ event so I won't need to be on my feet the whole time. New furniture is arriving this Sunday too, so I guess I'll be spending Friday night cleaning up the room or making space for the new furniture *argh* Suddenly there seems to be a serious shortage of space in the house!

I still need to pack the hospital bag! *ack*

It's countdown time!

I'm in week 33 or 34, depending on which website I look at.

It means basically I have 7 or 6 weeks, until the EDD. However, she's starting to engaged, the process called lightening.

When the fetus descends into the pelvic cavity. In first-time mothers, usually occurs two to four weeks before delivery; women who have already givenbirth usually don't lighten until they begin labor.

Taken from: http://www.babycenter.com/glossary/L

So how do I know? From the changing shape of my belly - It used to be a nice "round" shape, but it is now shifting down and forward. The belly size seem to be stagnant, although baby is suppose to be growing a lot rapidly now.

What does that mean? IT'S PANIC TIME!!!! It means I had better stay late at work this coming week and clear up my outstanding work. It's also time to complete my "What to do when I'm on maternity leave" guide book for my colleagues. I may have 2 weeks to go, 4 weeks to go or up to my EDD, but with a baby in the belly, it's no guarentee when she decides she wants to see who's been playing touch with her!

Speaking of which, she's quite cheeky. I was playing with her by tapping my belly with my cupped palm - she responded at first by kicking where I had tapped, but when my hubby tried - she decided she was tired and went back to sleep. I tried a few more times, tapping rapidly 10 times at each spot for several times, but she refuses to indulge me. Anyway, while I was firing up the PC, she started poking me rapidly! She did that a few times and I was wondering what she was doing! At first I thought she was having violent hiccups, but I guess she's awake now and decides to let me know that she hadn't forgotten that she was playing with me earlier! *awwww*

By this time, if she's awake and not doing much of her stretching, I could still feel her little movements by placing both of my hands on my belly. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's like a tank of water, any movements in it, I can feel the ripples, or water swishing around.

It seems to make all the morning sickness, the pain, the needles, the gore (sight of blood) and other unpleasantness all worthwhile, to feel her poking me with her tiny hands or feet. Oh, I'm going to miss this pregnancy for sure - I don't look forward to being allergic to prawns again. I guess it's time to do some cooking at home and indulge in prawns while I can!